[Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair)

Delilah Scythewood · October 3, 2014

((OOC Note: Been a while since I posted a journal for a character Last time had been on GW2 back in...March or so? When a friend suggested I do it to highlight some of the scenes that happen to Lili via Skype RP or with my semi-NPCs, I figured I'd get back into it. OOC comments comments are welcome via private message here on the site!))

"They never let up, do they?"

"Khavan, behave yourself."

Lili glared at her oldest over the rim of her teacup as he was giving a hard stare to a passing Sea Wolf who had been lecherously eying his mother while passing to the bar. Self consciously, Lili smoothed down the hem of her simple grey skirt and it only served to anger her son more. Could his mother not get away with dressing nice for one day without people making her feel uncomfortable? She barely got by with wearing slacks and a man's shirt for Twelves' sake!

His last train of thought he simply muttered aloud. "Maybe we should just put a bag over your head when we go out from now on."

Her answering retort was dry. "I don't think it's just my face that causes them to lookie-loo, dear."

"Then breast bindings."

"They're too big. I'd cave in my ribs before I'd manage to trim down some extra inches on the bust. Breast bindings only serve to keep me from getting a black eye during work or training."

"Bouncing around on the balls of your feet all the time would do that."

"Shut up."

From an outsider looking in, the two almost appeared to having a mild, passive aggressive lovers' spat. Lili was dressed neatly with a simple black patrician's coat that was made with an extended collar that only left an inch or two exposed under the jawline. A grey skirt with white stockings and heels completed the look, making her look like she was either dressed for work or a date here in the Wench (her son's choice, not her own. She avoided the Wench so as to avoid some of her old associates from the Vanguard and her days when she still lived in Limsa). Her son, however, looked far older then twenty and more around his mother's range.

Though, in her defense, she didn't look thirty five years old herself.

He was tall, even for someone whose father was an Ala Mhigan Highlander. At six fulms, eight ilms he was built like a brick shit house with arms and thighs that looked more prone to choking overgrown bison then doing his odd end jobs that got him by. The Sea Wolf that passed even sobered at the withering look given in return to the stare, walking to the bar all the more quickly for it.

Shaking his head, Khavan focused back on the woman before him. His tiny, beautiful little mother. "So," he began, figuring there was no good way to do this, "what are you going to do?"

Lili took another sip of her tea, lids lowered rather then meet his startling red eyes with her own. "About?"

"The C'kayah bit. And now Kaiten. The man offered to build you a house for you and Adokenai. Hells, had been planning too anyways before the engagement got called off. Most country folk would consider that a wedding proposal in and of itself, Ma."

"C'kayah and I are over, there's no debate on that. I'm sure with time we'll speak and be friendly, but for now I'd rather avoid it and him and seeing him with any new or current lovers or associates." Her tone didn't leave room for Khavan to argue with her on that. Her son never did care for the fact she had been engaged to a reknown womanizer and criminal, and the only reason it had been alright to him was because she was happy.

Of course, he didn't know that she knew better. He always was a terrible liar. He spoke through his teeth when he lied, saying how he thought it seemed like a good match.

Her silly little boy. No one had really liked it, but she hadn't cared. She still didn't. She'd rather lose friends (which she did) then have someone dictate who she could and couldn't be with.

"As for Kaiten..." She walked that ground carefully. There was no real easy way to go about that. Kaiten had made his desire known for her early on, and she assumed that he'd get bored of her with time and move on. But, like C'kayah, he didn't. He stuck around. Got to know her even while making his voracious wanting known. Had been around almost as long as her previous mate had, and didn't make it a secret that he wanted to propose to her too. He practically had on more then one occasion.

She knew why Khavan brought it up: He was worried she'd rush to someone else in the midst of her heartbreak. Do something foolish so shortly after things had transpired. Especially with the offered gesture of building her a home now that Ado and her were adjusting to the less then spacious and private conditions of her company home.

Breaking from her musings, she finished her trailed off thought by gesturing to the little thing of cream on the tabletop. "Pass me the cream, dear."

"You're avoiding the question." He handed it to her anyways.

"No I'm not. I'm simply going to do nothing. Nothing to do, and nothing I want to do. Kaiten understands I need time and space, so there's no rush placed upon me. I never planned to remarry after your father, and if I were it would be under the very same vows: till death do us part. In a way, I should be thanking C'kayah: I'm more cautious now. I won't be entering the same arrangement anytime soon."

Khavan wasn't sure if her response relieved him...or just made him worry more.

Delilah Scythewood · October 5, 2014

[align=center]

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[align=left]

It had been a long day. It didn't surprise Lili in the least when she got Ado back to the company house that he was snoring quietly in her arms. As she pried open the front door with her hand, Lili held her breath. Expecting to hear noises some where within the house, like Ox's booming laugh or Grael getting on a drunken ramble of some kind. When all was dim and quiet, she made her way further inside and down the hall to her own room.

There were still boxes flung about her office, full of clothes or housing wares or the various knick knacks she had collected over the years from friends and her children. She had to step carefully, trying not to make any noises that could stir the Lalachild. She just got him to sleep.

His Moogle toy squeaked as she stepped on it. Lili froze, stared down at Ado who released another pigletesque snort. Letting out a breath, she continued onward to the back of the room with the bedding in tact. As she set him down, she hummed to him and straightened his hair. Slipped off his little socks and shoes, let him dream fluffy, cloudlike dreams...

Had she done the right thing by him? Relocating them, giving them a fresh start?

Was he suffering at all?

To the latter, not in any way that she could see at least. But it still left her wondering, such thoughts plaguing her long until morning as she laid besides her boy and quietly sang to him one of the first songs she ever did with him when they first met. Oh how Adokenai charmed her so! Made her heart sing in the way only a mother could do for a child.

It was a love that no one person could ever rival.

And in its own way it brought her comfort.[/align]

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Delilah Scythewood · October 10, 2014

She trolled out of the little bar at the Fallsgourd Float inn, wiping her hands on the material of her kecks as she glanced to one side and then the other. It was cool, the end of summer evident by the crispness of the air that came with the slow turning of the leaves. The Shroud, as usual, would always remain lush but that didn't mean the chill couldn't settle.

"OI!"

She glanced over her shoulder at the Highlanders, two males, and rowdy just by the look of them. Their mouths only helped solidify that fact. One of them wore an outfit consisting of dark greens and blues while the other had flaming red hair pulled back in a tight knot.

"My mate 'ere asked yeh fer a drin'! Yeh ain' gon' leave 'im 'anging is ya?"

"I already declined, thank you," she murmured, not turning around to fully face them. She really didn't want to deal with this tonight. She had simply wanted to enjoy a drink away from the normal crowds of the Goblet or Ul'dah. She wanted to get away from the heat and the sand and go somewhere where she could get a small degree of silence...

The one who spoke, the redhead, sauntered over towards him. "Bu' he asked yeh so nicely! Sure yeh willin' teh reject such ah gentlemen?" To further confirm Lili's earlier suspicions, he hiccuped. She was dealing with two overgrown drunkards.

"I said (and I'll repeat myself in case the alcohol addled your brain)...no." The look she gave didn't phase the rowdy redhead, but the one in green and blue gave an agitated grunt and started stalking inside. "Let it lay!" He barked. "Ah'm no' gonna force someone to drin' wit' meh."

The red head looked like he wanted to press the issue for the sake of entertainment, but begrudgingly followed his buddy while Lili moved onward into the night.

As the two went to sit back down, the red head questioned his companion why he didn't press the issue further. Waiting until after he ordered his drink, the other male responded with a grumble, "Ah've seen 'er 'round before."

"Oh?"

"Aye. Ghislan's widow. Remember 'im? Big, strappin' bastard. Built like ah brick shi'house bu' wit' ah more study foundation!"

The redhead whistled lowly under his breath, glancing back to the entrance where Lili was long gone. "He was popular wit' the lasses wasn' 'e?"

"Aye. Got more'n 'is share o' bastards runnin' about from 'ere to Mor Dhona."

Both men grew quiet, sipping at their ales in thoughtful silence.

"Damn shame. Tis ah damn shame."

Delilah Scythewood · October 14, 2014

At one point during the night, Lili had woken up and nearly bolted from the unfamiliar bed she was laying in. Where was she? How had she gotten here? What the...?

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she began to relax. Body easing and some of the tension dissolving as she took a second to process exactly where she was: simple lodgings, the smell of nearby woodchips, familiar architecture...She was in one of the rooms in her company house. Glancing sidelong, she chuckled at the other resident of the bed.

Somewhere during talking and staying tucked away, they had fallen asleep. She barely remembered when the moment was that sleep possessed her during talks of other matters. Her growing up in Limsa, his in the Shroud...and the original invitation to hide away in his room if she needed the time away. Which, as of late, was welcomed. People were banging on her office door at odd hours of the day and night for advice, paperwork to sign, new jobs to sign off on...

It was one place most people would never dare to look.

Rubbing some sleep from her eyes and knowing she wouldn't remain conscious for long, she reached up to brush some blonde hair from his face. Good. He was sound asleep still. A part of her nudged that perhaps she should sneak back into her office and crawl back into the cramped space in the back where her bed, dresser, and chest lie. All things familiar. But, here was more comfortable. So here she'd stay.

Stretching out, Lili reclined back onto the bed and adjusted her leggings and top so she could get comfortable again. While she did, something caught her eye.

His arm. Those marks that told the tale of what drove him from home, and reminded her of his plans to one day flee for the safety and betterment of others. Her jaw tightened at the none too distant memory. No. She would try to keep a better eye on him from now on. He wasn't going to resign himself to that fate. Not if she had anything to say about it. With that thought, she rolled back over and drifted back into slumber quickly.

The Society wouldn't let him either.

Delilah Scythewood · October 17, 2014

No leads yet. Well, none that she saw anyways.

Lili ran her hands over her face, looking over some documents she needed to fine tune and transfer onto more formal stationary to get it out of her hair for the evening. But her mind was too distracted, her thoughts all over the place and unable to stay on the task at hand.

Disregarding it, she began sweeping things aside to get ready for the end of the night. She could hear laughter from down the hall, some of the Society members hanging out amoungst themselves.

Good. It kept everyone out of trouble.

Her mind floated back to her conversation with Ox and the matter at hand. On top of looking into Liliana's death, she had more Void related troubles to deal with. While not her intention, it seemed the Society had become the halfway house of all things Voidtouched and corrupted. With it came the conflicts and strifes that were slowly adding behind the dam of her patience. She worried it wouldn't be much longer before it collapsed.

Rising up from her chair, Lili stretched her arms above her head. Letting the joints pop and settle and letting out a loud, pleasurable purr at the relief it brought, she strode over to her newly installed alchemical furnace and began turning things down and off for the night. Making a log on a chart besides it, she went to rise up and pad to her little living space when something caught her eye.

Something moved past her window.

She frowned. Odd. Who would be wandering around the yard this time of night? Standing very still, she continued to stare past the pane into the darkness. Not a thing moved or rustled that she could tell, and the air was calm. Not even an evening breathe was moving through the ward on this night.

With a shrug, she moved back to her bed and began to strip into a nightshirt for bed. Unaware the flicker outside, a tiny movement of light like a firefly being wiped from existance.

Just like that, it was gone.

Delilah Scythewood · October 19, 2014

Lili was not a violent woman. She was not someone who immediately looked to immediate physical harm as a means to obtain what she wanted or desired, outcome, physical possession, or otherwise. She employed reason, advocacy, and other elements before violence in any given situation save if it was dangerous and there was no other way.

But that man made her want to be murderous.

Pacing in her office between her desk and the setup Ado had on the side, her teeth were grinding. Who did he think he was!? As if Ado's well being was something to be questioned! That her desire to keep him safe and from harm was up for debate, that her not accepting his initial offer somehow made her less inclined to fight for her child.

It didn't matter if he wasn't her blood or even of her race. He was her baby. Hers. It didn't matter who gave her son a hard time, it made her angry. He was only five for goodness sakes! He could hardly harm a butterfly let alone an adult.

Thinking back to the fight, Lili didn't give it a second thought as she grabbed a vase on her table and tossed it as hard as she could against the nearby wall. Only when it shattered and water, petals, and ceramic crashed to the floor did she realize what she did. Even as she scrambled over to pick up the pieces, the blonde realized how badly she was shaking.

Asked to be used for sexual favors in order to preserve the safety of her child?

She was shaking.

He could burn and rot until not even his bones were left.

As she reached down to pick up a piece of the vase, a sharp little edge cut deeply along her thumb. With a gasp and flinch, she brought the thumb up to her lips to suckle. Damn. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Damn him. Damn. Him. He best hope she never stumbled upon him again. She'd pull out every contact, every favor, every source of manpower she could find until he was so deeply buried into the ground that the bottom of the hole wouldn't be seen.

The rage she felt startled and exhausted her, and that exhaustion began to set in as she rose up and stumbled towards her desk to wrap up her thumb and find a dust pan for the mess. By the time she walked the few steps there and back, all she wanted to do was sleep. The blonde eyed her bed nearby. Soon.

She had to clean up this mess first.

Delilah Scythewood · October 23, 2014

-UNT3poCd6U

Life could distract one easily enough and all it's business and perils. But, amidst living and striving to find a place and purpose, it was always good to take some time to respect the dead. For Lili, it was usually the same four people: her late husband, her parents, and a miqo'te man named Grend'a. The latter of the four helped her in ways she would likely never share with another living soul. Some kind of pain one could never move past.

[align=center]These fleeting charms of earth

Farewell, your springs of joy are dry

My soul now seeks another home

A brighter world on high

[align=left]Each place was significant. Her parents had their stones on a quiet hill just half a mile from where Lili and the children placed a marker for Ghislan. While there was no body to bury, there weren't any more people who thought he still lived, so why not place a stone? While these markers were in Limsa, Grend'a had no marker. Most of her respects were paid silently and to herself.

For this particular day of paying respects, she decided to add twoe more to her meager list. Someone she had never met, but who she had only ever heard of. The other she had only met a handful of times.

Some might say that paying respects for the dead that you never met could almost be useless. Why? You had nothing to say about them. Had no first hand knowledge of their life or accomplishments. Such wishes could almost be seen as empty. Vacant. Devoid of emotion besides sympathy and pity.

But in times of grief, it was always good to know there were people that cared nearby.[/align]

I'm a long time travelling here below[/align]

[align=center]I'm a long time travelling away from home

I'm a long time travelling here below

To lay this body down

[align=left]To Ul'dah she went, unsure of where else to go from there. She didn't know either women well enough to know who exactly they knew best or whom they frequented. As the aetheryte delivered her to the desert city, Lili tucked her hair over one shoulder with a hand while the other held two trillium flowers.

From there, her feet slowly carried her towards the Steps of Thal and the fountain therein. As she moved, her pale green eyes took in the sights before her: festival revelers. Party goers. Sultansworn. Brassblades. Children. Teenagers. With every step she thought over her own life and accomplishments and how it could all be gone with one moment. One night. One mistake.

A thought occurred to her: What would happen when she was gone?

To Ado? To the Society?

Perhaps she'd fix that soon enough. It was never too early for a will, especially as more and more jobs were taking Lili in more dangerous territory. Soon the thoughts died down as she came across the fountain, thinking to herself how quiet it was as she glanced too and fro. Where was everyone? It was just her with the decorations. After a few moments she shrugged her shoulders. Well...probably for the best.

Once she reached the stone benches, she climbed on up so she would be more level with the water. Bringing the trillium flower to her lips she kissed at the white petals of each flower before bringing her cupped hands down to the water. Letting the flowers drift among the ripples and swirl around each other.

One for a fallen Sultansworn. One for a young mother.

With that, Lili turned to wander back to the Society office in the Goblet.[/align]

Farewell kind friends whose tender care

Has long engaged my love

Your fond embrace I now exchange

For better friends above

[align=left]It took less time then she thought to organize her own will. She'd tell those who needed to know of the contents so people could find it. Funny...she never thought she'd have enough in her life that would require her to actually make a list of who got what. Two years ago her children would have just split everything between themselves.

Funny what could change in two years.

Holding the paper close to her scrutiny, she nibbled on her lush lower lip as she scanned it. Once. Then twice. Four times total before she set it atop her desk and let the ink finish drying, turning her head to look out of the nearby window. "...Mmm...I need a drink," she muttered to herself, rising up to rise to the wine cabinet nearby. Thinking about her future demise was making her feel rather melancholy despite it being a natural fact of life.

The will, however, was kept as short and as to the point as possible.

I write this will of sound mind and body, under no duress or mental fatigue that could hinder my cognitive functions. Each people is to get precisely what is listed, and anything that should be left over is to be split amongst interested parties (my children taking precedence) before being donated.

To my oldest son, Khavan Amadeus Nightwing, I give his father's old sword. May you treat it kindly, my precious one, and clean it regularly so it stays in good condition. I also entrust you with the Bronze Lake property to use as you see fit.

To my youngest son, Adokenai Kodomo-Altair, I give my recipe books so one day he cook delicious treats all by himself beyond that of his Society loved candy sandwiches. I also entrust my old childhood stuffie, Mog-Mog. Take good care of him, no matter what age you may happen to be. Adopting you was one of the happiest days of my life.

To my oldest daughter, Deisarameda 'Dei' Amal'dea Silverlark, I bestow my collection of books. Read them and think of me, my sweet. May they bring you knowledge and joy of learning.

To my youngest daughter, Sarameda 'Sara' Amal'thurin Silverlark, I give my alchemical notes and journals. With this, perhaps you and your sister may find the cure we all have been striding for. I also leave you the botanical index my parents started when I was younger. Perhaps one day you can take your sister with you and the two of you can pick up where they left off.

To the Free Wing Society, should I perish unexpectedly and without word prior to this reading, I give the Society over to Sitting Ox for him to use it as he should see fit as well as the property. Should Sitting Ox not be available or already deceased at this reading then it will be given to the employee with most seniority starting with Rock Shattermountain, Locke Rinnanis, and moving down the list.

To Locke Rinannis, I give the notes and recipes needed to make the potions that are needed to keep you in good health as well as my mammet Mammy. May he make a good companion for Olli.

To Nymira Valeroyant, I bestow all my medical supplies and regents. Should they be used in your practice to help those in need.

To Rock Shattermountain, I give Dot the fawn. You were the one to give her to me, and to you I return her. Thank you for standing so loyally by my side, both as an employee and as a friend.

To Kaiten Skyborn, I leave my weapons and armor as well as my journal. May you find a good use for the former and take great care of the latter, as it contains many secrets that have never been spoken of or have seen the light of day. Treat them with reverence just as I treated your own secrets, and know that you have given me a startling amount of joy I never expected. Thank you.

To my previous fiance, C'kayah Polaali, I give two stones that will be found amongst my jewelery: the heartstones of a water and air elemental. I also impart blueprints I wrote many years ago when I was a young girl of an airship christened The Grey Lady. May you treat both with care.

To Ruinfeild Oakshield, I give a manuscript found amoungst my books of erotic short stories I work on from time to time. Given our senses of humor, I imagine you'll find these to be particularly amusing.

To Chokho Viqqoh, I give my book of pressed flowers. Many of these were flowers I'd find from you, my dear, and my office almost always smelled of trilliums. There are empty pages for you to add other flowers as you see fit.

To Kenthy Pennyfeather I bestow a small silver dagger. More for ornamental purposes, it is small enough to slip into a garter or stocking and sturdy enough to sink into the gullet of anyone who should give you a difficult time. Your fiery spirit was always a sight to behold and I am happy to have counted you amongst people I called 'friend'.

All persons are to get each specified item as well as a personal letter enclosed and marked within for their private viewing.

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I'm a long time travelling here below

I'm a long time travelling away from home

I'm a long time travelling here below

To lay this body down...

[/align]

Delilah Scythewood · October 25, 2014

With Ox out of town, she began to make the final arrangements.

She had the paperwork. She had just gotten the missive from her contact earlier that the Society's request had (begrudgingly) been granted. The prisoner of war would go through the trials of the Coliseum first before being sentenced to death for his war crimes against various denizens of Eorzea.

Velstraz. That's all they were given was a first name and a race, a Highlander.

Lili reclined back in her chair, peeking towards the nearby window as she rubbed at the smooth though slightly uneven surfaces of her husband's old wedding ring. It fit, in a way, to give Ox the body of a Garlean should everything work well.

For his home...and for her husband.

Delilah Scythewood · November 2, 2014

((OOC: The leading piece into a story arc for Lili and Sitting Ox's storylines.))

As Lili stepped out from the room that held Ul'dah's aetheryte, smoothing back her hair and clothing and triple checking everything, she deemed herself fit enough to meet with her contacts. Not too conservative but not too revealing. Perfect.

Holding her head up and squaring her shoulders, she stepped out of the darkened hall and into the sunshine. A few strides to the right and she was right at the headquarters of the Immortal Flames, where the overnight watch was coming off shift and the morning rotation was starting to clock in. Many were faces she no longer recognized, and some she did from a few years ago who'd nod or smile her way. It had been a while since she did her time with the Grand Company, and for the first time in nearly a decade she was calling in a favor.

A very, very big favor.

Her eyes searched out a very specific figure. Highlander, darker skin, slanted eyes...sure enough, he came striding from one of the back halls and to the front desk and began speaking to the quartermaster. Lili only had to wait a brief moment before he looked up and noticed her, immediately beckoning her to him before slipping into the back again with the quartermaster being the one to let Lili through.

Making a few turns down the hallways, she found herself being led to a small back room. One that had likely been used for interrogations and instead housed boxes of old files and documents that were outdated or not active in use. Also in that room was a Lalafell looking like an old, grizzled teddy bear with the grey in his hair and the rounded quality of his ears. Quietly, she shut the door behind her.

"Gentlemen...it's been so long. So lovely to see you both in good spirits."

"Widow Nightwing," greeted the Lalafell from his spot sitting on one of the boxes. His voice was surprisingly deep given his small size, but the smile was relaxed. The Highlander in the room with them, however, remained at post by the door with his arms crossed and eyes looking straight ahead.

"To what do I owe this pleasure? It's been three years since I saw you last when it didn't concern baked goods."

Lili didn't waste time getting to the point. "I've come about the request I sent in to you and Maladrome. The specifics of such, and my stipulations. They will all be met, Shumomo?" Her brow rose in question, and Shumomo gave a solemn nod and a vague wave of his hand as if to further reassure her. "It's all been finalized. Paperwork signed, and for all intents and purposes it will look like an accident."

"You don't think someone close to the Flame General will raise any problems? Or suspect anything?"

"I wouldn't think so, no. Not with the credentials involved, and with the clean record of the Free Wings that you have established thus far. With your history and the history of some of your members to consider, there's nothing that Maladrome or I could find that could make it look contrary. Besides, Velstraz won't speak."

"At all," rumbled Maladrome from behind Lili. She avoided looking at the man for the time being, brushing some locks of hair behind her ear as a means to distract herself. She needed a trim again, and further assurances that this would all go well.

The blonde moved to one of the boxes across from Shumomo, sitting down and crossing one leg over the other. The Lala watched her movements carefully before looking off to the side when she made it a point to catch his gaze with her own. He suddenly looked uncomfortable. It immediately set her on edge.

"Shumo. Look at me."

He obeyed after some hesitation, as if biting his tongue.

"If there's something you're not telling me, do so. Please."

Maladrome scoffed, and Lili turned her head to look back at him as he pushed away from the wall. "You forced us into this, Altair. It's not like you gave either of us a choice but in which to aide you. And for what? To save the life of someone we owe nothing too and for petty revenge?" His massive shoulders bunched up and tensed, shifting the entire atmosphere of the room from a neutral calm into something less hospitable.

She rose up abruptly, spinning around to face him as Shumomo's protests were lost between the two Hyurs. "Don't give me that. You owe me, Maladrome. This is the very least you could help me with."

"Excuse me?" he snarled.

"You're excused," she replied coldly, her maternal disposition shifting into something that was far more harsh and stern. She even reached up and gave Mal a hard poke in the sternum, not caring that he didn't budge at all from it, continuing with her tone rising with heat more and more with every word.

"Contrary to what you think, you do owe me Maladrome Nightwing. You owe me for treating my children and I like absolute shit when Ghislan disappeared and being almost nonexistent during the course of their lives from that point onward. We were a family, you fuckwit, and you turned your back on us like we had no connection at all."

"I actually took time to look for my brother, unlike some people."

She had to resist the urge to jump onto a box so she was high enough to slap the shit out of him. "Well excuse me for having three children to raise by myself and having to explain by myself why their father was gone! I couldn't just drop everything to look for him. That's what you and Shumomo were supposed to do!"

"Which we did," interjected Shumomo quietly, looking at his lap with his legs swinging back and forth.

"Which you did," Lili assured him before narrowing her eyes up at the tensed jaw of her past brother-in-law. "But you...YOU gave up! You gave up faster then anyone else, and didn't even have the decency to be there for your parents while they mourned the loss of their youngest child. You stopped after two fucking weeks of searching, tossed in the towel, then pretended like your work with the Flames was all that mattered anymore."

Mal's response was just as cold as hers had been, but more harsh. "I'm not going to pretend to play house with children who weren't even sired by my brother, regardless of how he forgave the discrepancy."

The stare held between the two could have made a morbol wither and die. Shumomo cleared his throat, and begrudgingly the two looked back to him. "We have it taken care of, Widow Nightwing. It's the least we could do for an old family friend."

His words placated her, and she inclined her head to him. "Thank you, dear," she replied, her tone starting to warm before she shot a sharp look to Mal before striding to the door and slamming it so hard behind her one of the stacks of boxes by the door tottered and fell over. Maladrome grumbled as he bent down to start picking up the papers, not having to look over to know Shumomo was helping him.

"I'm impressed, you didn't hit her this time," said the Lalafell, tossing papers in the bin.

He was met with silence, and he started to grin.

"Did she actually make you feel guilty, Mal?"

"Thal's balls, just pick up these papers."

Delilah Scythewood · November 7, 2014

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

How had it all gone so horrendously wrong?

She didn't get out of bed that morning. She didn't have the strength too. Though the rest of the Society could easily dispute that the whole thing was a success in every way, she felt like they had failed. Yes, they succeeded in their original goal: Ox was now healthy and of good cheer in a new body. He wasn't going to rot and wither before their eyes anymore.

But the body they chose...

Velstraz.

No.

Ghislan.

Lili began to retch again, leaning over the side of her bed for a bucket that she had gotten at ready in the middle of the night when the first spasms of bile overtook her. But even as she straddled the bucket in her lap and coughed, there was nothing more for her system to give. Twelve, she couldn't even cry anymore.

It should have been a joyous reunion. She got what so many widows ached and yearned for. She got her husband back, alive and well, with limbs in tact and sound of mind. He had been alive all of these years, prisoner to the Garleans and forced to work as their agent while the rest of the world deemed him dead.

But why wasn't she happy?

She felt like she was supposed to be happy. Ecstatic really. Her children had their father back, her family could once more be made whole, Ado could know who was the man who raised his brother and sisters...

The pit in her stomach felt like it got deeper.

Even thinking of it that way she wasn't happy.

After spending years of mourning, grieving, and having weeks worth of time where the emotional fatigue kept her from performing basic functions like getting out of bed, she had gotten to a point almost two years ago where she could finally live. Where she didn't dwell on his supposed demise on a constant basis and where she could crave the touch and comfort of another without feeling shame or guilt for it. Like she was committing some form of infidelity against his memory. Hells, she nearly got married.

Sweat formed over her brow just at the thought, and in a pathetic way she thanked her deities that that never happened. She might've tossed herself off a balcony.

It was then that she glanced towards the door and saw a letter on the floor a little ways from it, like someone slipped it under her door at some point in the night. Setting down the bucket and wrapping herself in her blankets and quilts, Lili shuffled across the room with measured steps. She didn't want to faint again.

She felt cold as death when she reached down for the note and read it, the script familiar in more then one way. Her lips started to tremble as she crumpled the note in her hand. It wasn't just Ghislan she was dealing with anymore. Ox was a part of this too. If possible, she felt even more wretched. Ox and him shared each other's thoughts and memories, blending together until they formed a single entity.

One person.

In an all too familiar body.

The blonde never even made it back to the bed. She fell to the floor in a heap on her hands and knees and sobbed.

Delilah Scythewood · November 10, 2014

The papers were swept aside with a growl of frustration uttered under Lili's breath. Formulas, notes, test runs...none of it mattered. None of it! Not at this rate. Not when she had no idea how much time she was working with.

Lili stood in the middle of her renovated office...well, her home now. The office was a small part of it instead of like before when it took up more then 3/4 of the square footage. Now she had room to pace and stew and fret without feeling too cramped, and tonight was a prime night for it. With Ghislan wandering out there somewhere, the need for a larger company house becoming more evident with the more people they gathered, and now with Locke's rapidly deteriorating condition...

The blonde scowled. It wasn't a pleasant look, but she didn't care. There was nothing she could do about Ghislan, and in fact she was grateful for some of the time apart so she could train herself to keep from fainting every time he walked into a room. Rolling up the sleeves of her alchemist jacket further up her arms, she tried to find something of use. Perhaps a compound she overlooked. Or a exotic serum?

Nothing?

Anything?

"Nothing I can do about Ghislan," she muttered under her breath. "But I can at least help Locke. Maybe if I just kept digging I could find something in time..."

"Out of all of my memories, ours were my favorite."

She quickly shook those words away. It didn't matter. He expected her to go back to being a loving, doting wife. She hadn't been that for nearly a decade! How did one think she was going to react? Just nod her head with her tail happily wagging before lifting up and presenting herself like a bitch in heat? Of course that was an exaggeration, but still.

A vein ticked in her brow when she came across a letter strewn in with her notes on the floor. While some papers had been on her desk that she tossed aside, she had a plethora that remained sprawled out so she could better see everything all at once. The letter was something she received earlier that day and it attributed to her irritation.

Ghislan was getting an earful when he came back from his 'trip'.

As she tossed it over her shoulder to continue her scatterbrained pursuit of something to cure Locke, it slipped part way from the envelope. Reading:

To Mrs. Lilithium Nightwing,

You may not know who I am, but my name is Renade Violethammer. Currently I have just started my studies at the Arcanist Guild in Limsa Lominsa, and hope to later study into the ways of the Nymian Scholars of old should information present itself to me. I have spent the last few years wondering how to write to you, and never had the frame of mind or courage until now.

I grew up with my mother and her two sisters, never knowing who my father was. My mother never divulged his whereabouts until a few years ago when she told me his name. Ghislan Nightwing. I was hoping to learn about his wellbeing and meet the father I-

The envelope obscured the rest of the letter.

Delilah Scythewood · November 15, 2014

((Snippets in italics are quotes and scenes from old RPs. Some I quote from memory as best as I can, others are from logs ))

Packing.

Once more she was packing, only this time she wasn't alone. Everyone was, getting ready for the sudden but exciting move to the Lavender Beds. Lili had already gathered up Ado's things, and now she was halfway through her own. Funnily enough, she only finished her own unpacking a few weeks ago. And now? It began again.

This time, hopefully, for a good, long while.

Lili wiped at her brow, sweat building more from mental exertion then physical. Did she remember everything? Were things going to be filed in the correct spot? Did she miss anything in Ado's room? She took a moment to spread her hands against the surface of the desk and close her eyes.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SITTING AT HOME, WAITING FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE TO COME HOME ONLY TO BE TOLD THAT THEY'RE GONE!"

Heavy breaths. Pants. Hands clutching at one another while reaching for clothes, hair, and skin. The feel of his miqo'te teeth digging into her neck to break the flesh once more. To feel the blood run while pressed into the desk, like that time in the Lavender Beds...

Her eyes fluttered open and she peeked to the corner of the room where her desk had originally laid.

She still had some books to gather instead of letting them stay in a pile on the floor.

As the blonde strode across the room, she could hear voices in the hall. People moving their things already, or helping others who needed it. She even caught childish laughter, though couldn't tell which young charge it might have been coming from or if it was new altogether. Which reminded her...she needed to get Ado's desk and chair out of storage.

"Mommy! I can work with you again today, right!?" He beamed at her from his desk which was adjacent to her own.

There'd be room in the new house for it. Him and Nana can have their own little spot, and other children as well. What if Liandri had kits in the future? Or one of the other members had children or knew people with children-

"Out of all the memories, ours were my favorite."

Ghislan. She hadn't seen him for a few days. They'd need to talk again when they did. The clutter of books as she arranged them neatly in their needed boxes so they'd be easier to retrieve later was the only sound in the room for a while.

Thump.

Her hands brushed against a smaller book then the others, a dried rose slipping from its' pages that she moved to retrieve and place back. Touching the blossom, which had long since dried, brought back memories of its own...

"I will always be at your side."

The images in her head of laying in that bed besides him, her belly swollen with their child.

"It wasn't real," she muttered to herself. "What he showed me wasn't real." She sounded bitter, crouched in the middle of the floor the way she was surrounded by the dismantled fragments of her life and physical possessions. Once more to get up, stack the boxes, stack the pieces, continue onward. Forge ahead despite everything. Despite her mistakes, the mistakes of others, and the mistakes that were bound to be made again in the future.

"I will never leave you like that again."

Leaving this room would be good for her. Lili never realized it until she started packing things away how many memories lingered on almost everything she touched. Unpacking had been one thing: the memories associated with most of her old belongings had years worth of happiness to overshadow the pain. Here, it wasn't the case.

Taking a small break, the blonde stretched her hands over her head, letting loose a quiet purr as the joints popped and the muscles unwound and stretched along the bones. With the stiffness setting in, the rain was coming. As she got older, it was true what the elderly always griped about with how ones' body was sensitive to the changing seasons. Your joints ached with rain. Your head itched from wind. Your knees hurt with snow.

Yet as she moved through her room to survey her work, she admitted that she wasn't that old. But still...

"Your youthfulness is one of the things I love most about you."

A very small smile came to her lips as she glanced to the shower. That towel was still damp. She'd need a new one. For now, she put her hands on her hips and let out a small exhale.

"Well, back to work."

Delilah Scythewood · November 22, 2014

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"Are you sure I couldn't persuade you, Miss Altair. There are plenty of healthy Hyur children-"

"Which I have three of, all grown and out of the house." Her response was polite with an underlying firmness.

The woman sitting across from the desk from Lili was a portly little thing. Grey flyaways that kept escaping from her loose bun, and her blouse was smeared with stains of all colors. Yet despite those two things she was very tidy with austere features and a very prominent nose. More like a beak. It was from that beak that she looked down at Lili with a frown of disapproval.

Who would have thought the head of a mixed race orphanage would be...racist?

"But why a miqo'te? I'm sure a city couple or barren female would be more then happy to take care of-"

"Mrs. Pickett. Please." The blonde's patience was wearing thin, her arms crossed as she was leaned back in her chair. The woman was nearly as suffocating as the office they were in: cramped, with furniture too large for its confines and not a single essence of order to the madness of books, papers, and other strange stains. "I would really like to just finish the process and go home."

The woman's lips opened to try and dissuade Lili further, but after nearly a bell's worth of this she had had enough. She moved to sit up, smoothing down her skirt and the top of her thigh high boots with as much calm decorum as she could muster. "Mrs. Pickett, I can always go else where with my donations and support. Like to Limsa Lominsa."

"Now there's no need for that! Oh, foo! Fine." With an indignant huff of 'so difficult!', the woman got up and waddled from behind her desk to the office door. Enough to crack it open and shriek past the commotion of screaming and playing children. "BITSY! BITSY, GET THAT BABY IN HERE!" As soon as the door closed she took a breath and sat back at her desk. Clearing her throat, she addressed Lili once more who by now was tapping her foot to show her displeasure.

"She'll be right in."

"Good."

Fuck being nice to the woman at this point. She wanted her son. Now.

Moments later a haggard younger woman came in. In her arms was a toddler. A miqo'te toddler no less, whose Keeper eyes honed in on the other adults in the room with silent interest. His hair and fur were a burnt orange color, and his skin was reasonably fair. Though his eyes were an intense orange hue that was more on the red side then his hair. Bitsy stood in the doorway with the boy, not moving to come any closer.

"The paperwork is in order and your credentials approved. Though with being the leader of a free company are you sure you'd be up for the task of-" Lili had already strode across the room, and it was then that the little boy honed in on the blonde Hyur coming near him. One smile was all it took.

He held his arms out to her with a needy grunt, being fussy in Bitsy's arms who looked too tired to argue. "Take the little ruffian!" She grumbled, which Lili did with a flourish. Like Ado, the child fisted his tiny hands against her long blonde locks and entertained himself well enough that way.

"I think we're finished here, ladies. Just send me the finalized documents in the next few suns. I'm taking my son home."

"But-"

Bitsy skittered to the side to let Lili stride past her, the miqo'te child in her arms giving no protest to being spirited away from all that was familiar to him. All that was heard in her retreat was a 'Why I never!' from Mrs. Pickett.

The trip back to the Lavender Beds was uneventful. The child seemed far too interested in prodding and examining Lili's hair, earrings, necklace...everything he could get his little hands on. Aetheryte travel didn't phase him in the slightest, and it was only when they were in the new residence of the Free Wing Society that he looked around.

Lili watched as he looked at the harpsichord in the corner, the over hanging chandelier, the bar over by the stairs, and then the carbuncle set by the harpsichord. While originally Ado's, it was now left out for all the children to play with. That now included the newest addition to Lili's family.

Mikh'a.

His story was part of what Lili to want to take him in: He was left with the umbilical chord still attached and swaddled in someone's old shirt. By the make and smell of it, with rum stains and smelling like the ocean, it looked like the tunic of a seafarer. A large one at that! But there was nothing else.

No note.

No footprints.

Just abandoned on the stoop of this small, self sufficent orphanage in the seedier part of Ul'dah. With the trade routes and airships his savior could have been any where. So he was naturally cleaned up, cared for, and a few months ago Lili saw his little portrait in a file with other children from the same orphanage. It was love at first sight.

She peeked down as Mikh'a looked up at her and smacked his little hand against her mouth. She wasn't worried. He'd do just fine.

Delilah Scythewood · December 8, 2014

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There was no time.

She had made it back to their new home in the Lavender Beds, surrounded by the nearby waterfront and the rustling of the overhead trees with their bright leaves casting shadows over the infamous lavenders down below...and the scene brought her no peace. No serenity. The blonde leader of the Free Wings strode to the front door of her estate and slipped inside as quietly as she could. She could heard some voices down stairs, but she didn't stop to mingle.

She moved down the hall before getting to her own cramped quarters away from all the other rooms and everyone elses' abodes, shutting and locking the door behind herself. Mikh'a was with Sarameda, Ado was toddling about the house with the others...

Good. She could prepare.

Tying up her hair in a tall ponytail, Lili made quick work getting what she needed in her room. There was nothing besides a bed, a dresser, a chest, and Mikh'a's little wooden playpen in the corner by the door. She flung open drawers, grabbing vials and papers that she had tucked away prior in preparation for the inevitable coming of this day. Not looking behind her as she tossed them onto her bed with no rhyme or reason to this madness.

It was halfway through going through the drawers that Lili realized she was crying. Fat, salty tears slipping down her face and along her jaw before tainting the collar of her shirt. She'd wipe them away quickly, nearly sobbing with frustration that she was even crying in the first place. He had gone through this often enough, right? He always came through, didn't he?

But...his parents...what his brother...

The look on his face when they got back from the town of his birth.

Her frantic movements had stopped as her hand lingered over something unfamiliar in her drawers. A shirt that obviously was not her own though she did slowly bring it to her nose for a tentative sniff. It was a simple white shirt...but Twelve, it smelled like him. Was his. In a matter of hours, or even a day or two...well. It wouldn't be him. It would be something else. Something dark and alien and strange and straight from the Void itself.

Her sweet, compassionate, loving Locke would be a monster in a matter of hours.

And it broke her heart.

Lili wasn't aware how long she was on her knees in front of her drawers just clutching his shirt to her chest, but it was only a few minutes in real time. In her head it had felt like hours before she managed to drag herself upright and continue packing.

The last few weeks with the salve she managed to procure from him showed her a side of Locke she hadn't seen before: more confident, more happy, more at ease. He was more quick to smile, to laugh, to be open. Of course, he was still shy and gentle natured but...

It was different.

Different because she got to see the real Locke Rinannis. She got to see the man beneath the aetheric taint and the haze of the potions he always had to take. Beneath the negative emotions that were more instilled at the front of his mind from said taint was an even more beautiful heart and soul then she had seen before. All she wanted to do was protect it and keep it safe. And most of all...

Find a way to save him.

Not worrying about packing more then two things of clothing in her small travel sack, she hoisted it over her shoulder and strode out of the room while wiping at her eyes.

Delilah Scythewood · December 16, 2014

The ball of hatred squirming in her gut were like red hot tentacles that writhed and squirmed like a bitch in heat on an Ul'dah summer day. It was such a strange feeling for Lili to have to deal with. All of her life she had little to fear or to hate save for the Garleans, whom she believed took Ghislan from her. But even then...there was no comparison.

None.

"Mama, take a deep breath."

The blonde had forgotten for a moment that she was talking with Khavan via her linkpearl. Hells, she even had forgotten that she was curled up in a little ball in her comfy little red chair in the meeting room. Blanket around her legs and a mug of hot tea cradled between her thighs. At her son's behest, she took a deep breath in. Held. Slooowwwlllyyyy exhaled...

Spoke. "I'm going to fucking kill him."

"I know," responded her eldest calmly. "I want to kill him too."

"I want to hold Locke to his word to hold Zaiaku Kurai down like a rabid animal. I don't think I would be satisfied with just slicing his throat. I want to take a little tiny baby spoon like what I use to feed Mikh'a with and little by little dig into the nail bed, using his blood as lubrication as I spoon out all twenty of his nails before I-"

"By fucking Menphina, ma, calm your tits."

"No! I will not calm my tits. I'm not going to be satisfied until I'm spreading him around Ul'dah in pieces. See if that will teach the denizens of that mangy fucking city to mess with a five year old child." By the end of it, Lili was breathing heavily. Leaning as far back into her chair as possible as if to hide from herself and the aggression that was making her feel liberated as well as sick to her stomach. On the other end, Khavan sat in silence. He didn't know what to tell her, so he tried to be soothing.

"We're going to find him. And if nothing else if you go through the motions-"

"Of what? This fake wedding? Have you ever heard of a kidnapper using MARRIAGE as part of hostage negotiations? 'You can have your son back, but first I want your hand in marriage for your body and that rather large house you got there!' " She mimicked the male's voice but with much squeakier undertones. Then shuddered, though flinched as some of her hot tea splashed against her thigh. She cupped it between her hands and blew on the contents as Khavan's voice flickered through the connection again.

"The Society is looking for him and keeping an eye out. It's likely it won't even need to come to that, ma. Besides, dad is around, yeah? He won't let anything happen to you." Of this he sounded most sure.

Lili's shoulders sagged. "He's just a baby..." Her animosity trailed off into a rather pathetic whimper.

On his end, the eldest Altair child let out a deep breath. Good. At least she wasn't getting crazily graphic with the torture scenarios going through her mind.

"Just sit tight and wait for word from Ado or Zaiaku on the linkpearl again. You're one of the only leads anyone has right now. I have to go look myself out in Gridania. Maybe they're closer then we think. Sit tight, and I love you."

As the connection died, Lili was left sitting there expressionless. An angry mother staring fixedly at her mug with no where to place her anger.

Except at herself.

Delilah Scythewood · December 21, 2014

((I'm off between now and the 27th for the holidays! Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas or, you know, whatever.))

He was sound asleep in her arms, but the fear still lingered. The anxiety, the angst, the pit in her stomach that any moment now Zaiaku would come through that door and take him away from her again. Lili ducked her head and nestled her face against his soft downy hair with a shaken sigh. "My heart...my little one..." Nearby, Mikh'a let out a sleepy gurgle from his crib. Tummy full of his ba-ba and his own little hand sewn teddy nestled into his side. Ado had his own cradled to him, and Lili gave herself a moment of pride that they both liked the Starlight gift she made for them.

The moment of peace ended quickly, and the woman clung her Lalafell to her once again.

Even if it ended with the Brass Blades carrying her away kicking and howling for murder, she'd never let someone lay a hand against any of her children ever again.

Never again.

Delilah Scythewood · December 31, 2014

She couldn't do it.

The moment was nearly perfect and she couldn't find the courage to do anything but sit there blubbering like a dummy before falling back on the 'let's nap and head back!' excuse. Pathetic. She proposed to C'kayah easily enough, though the context and situation was different. But this time?

She got scared. And stopped herself.

Lili ran her fingers through her hair, sitting on one of the stools in front of the food bar with a plate of uneaten eggs and a glass of milk before her. It was quiet, with the children napping and various members still in their rooms or out and about taking care of business and their personal affairs. The plants were watered, dishes done, groceries put away, dinner plans ready to start prepping later in the afternoon, the craftsmen area downstairs cleaned up...

Yet she found herself jittery. Jingling her right foot as her legs remained crossed and the eggs growing cold in front of her.

Why did she stop? It wasn't like she cared what others thought, or that she was getting any younger. She planned to dissolve her marriage to Ghislan when he decided to saunter back around, and Ado and Mikh'a loved Locke and his soft spoken ways and kindness.

Was it fear of rejection? No, that couldn't be it. They talked about the subject more often then not. Fear of loneliness? Not it either. She knew (without thinking it to be self absorbed, simply factual) that companionship wasn't something she'd have to live without again. She was comfortable in her own skin, and knew she was quite the catch in her own right.

So then...what?

The blonde stared down at her plate of egg like it held all the answers.

"You don't have anything to worry about," she muttered. "You were fried before you even learned how to blink."

The yolk continued to sit there with no answer to her musings.

Delilah Scythewood · January 18, 2015

((OOC: Instead of an RP journal entry, I'm going to list some songs that have fit the RP I've done with Lili lately. More stories will come after 2.5!))

Scene: This is an interesting song for some of the events with Lili as of lately involving her ex fiance, C'kayah. Granted it's a little more haunted then what I would describe for her, but it captures some of the essence of what it's been like with him being on the fringes of her life after months of not even seeing his face. Now it seems like she can't go more then a few days without someone mentioning him or her needing to get a hold of him for one reason or another. On top of that, one of her employees is currently dating him and while the girl talk they've shared was oddly therapeutic for Lili, it brought its own dosage of pain as well.

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Scene: Lili and Locke are officially engaged, with the proposal looking over the Burning Wall. A place Locke had resigned himself to go to and die. Him talking about his history and Lili seeing for herself what his home has been reduced too, there's a lot of phrases in this song that just fit. "Oh together we can brave all the things we never knew So I’m making room on a boat I built for one We can sail into the sun, till our skin’s as tough as diamonds" is one, while the first of "We were racing down a road littered with crosses" strikes close to the heart of the tragedies they both have overcome.

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Scene: Being a leader isn't easy. Lili's amassed an eclectic group of employees and it's been a fun ride. Though even when there are those who disagree with her and her methods or who don't agree with some of the employees she keeps around, she still somehow manages to get loyalty that few others can boast of possessing. Her maternal charm? Her fairness? Hard to say. This song seems to encompass all of it rather well.

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Scene: Since Ado has been home from being kidnapped, Lili has done what she can to not only ensure his safety, but to make Zaiaku pay. From calling in favors to old contacts and even getting help from unexpected places, this song is the first lullaby Lili ever sang to him when she met him in the Quicksand and is the same one she sings to him and his little brother Mikh'a to this day.

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Delilah Scythewood · January 28, 2015

((OOC: Originally posted here on the Society site, I thought I'd add it to Lili's journal thread here to show some of the RP and story behind Lili's two girls Enjoy!))

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Sarameda and Deisarameda Silverlark were the only daughters born to Lilithium Altair and Amore Silverlark. An unintentional coupling that was a product of alcohol and Amore's fear of dying without any family heirs to discover a cure to their mysterious illness. With that fear, he used a rather intoxicated Lili to meet those ends back in her youth, and shortly afterwards passed onward. While the girls were raised by their mother and 'father' Ghislan, they knew very little about their birth father. Whether this has been on purpose or simply because their he was an enigma even to his closest friends, they still did not know.

The girls were born normally. Healthy, pink cheeked, chubby little babies with all fingers and toes intact. For a short time, it was thought that perhaps the illness of the Silverlarks didn't touch the girls. That mayhaps it skipped a generation. Unfortunately, they were proven wrong.

Very, very wrong.

When the girls were nearly four cycles of age, Sara (the youngest and more gentle hearted of the two) cut herself at the beach near the Nightwing family home. The blood came out thick and dark and would not stop. The tiny tot might have died if it wasn't for the alchemical skills of her mother and a conjurer who happened to be in a village close by. From that point forward, it became clear that the girls had to be protected and taken care of far more closely then your average child. Their older brother, Khavan, worked alongside his parents to make it easier while Lili began the engrossing task of finding a way to cure them.

And so...the years passed. The girls grew up to be beautiful with their mismatched eyes, cream colored skin, and willowy builds. Like nymphs, or even dancers. Though as they grew older, they grew more sickly with Sara getting the worst of it. She would be confined to a bed for days or even weeks on end, catching any sort of bug or sickness that the season brought only amplified due to her poor health.

While Sara grew sick, Dei grew bitter. Having always craved to have the life of a normal girl, being restricted by her sickness only made her more defiant to her family. Only Sara's gentle voice brought her any tranquility, but over time not even that could quell the rage in her heart. Instead it only made her more angry: would her sister die before her? Would their mother ever manage to find a cure? When would the endless tests, blood samples, bouts of bedrest, bleeding, and fragility stop?

While both sisters felt this silent agony between each other, it never manifested as much as it did until one day in the late winter months. Only a few moons after the one cycle anniversary of the Calamity...

"It could work!"

"We don't know what his tests might do, Dei..."

"But we could at least bloody try."

"And at what cost?"

It was not the first time both had had this argument. Weeks prior, they were faced with the latest option of treatment to see if it could make a dent towards their condition: a man in their mother's company by the name of Orrian who felt that perhaps turning to the dark magicks of the Void might be the answer. When he proposed this to Sara after she went to him for help, the young girl stuttered and fled from him as fast as her legs could take her.

For her? There was no question: it wouldn't need to come to that. Dei had been eager to jump at the chance though, to try something outside of the norm. Something! Anything! Which led them back to the same argument that they had off and on for the last number of weeks.

Dei shook her head at her twin. While they were identical save the mirroring color of their eyes, Dei also had added black streaks in her hair to make it easier for outsiders to tell them apart. The cast of her eyes and her more aggressive and neutral body language was a sharp contrast to Sara's more gentle and demure nature. Even with just how one twin leaned against the far wall (Dei) and how the other was sitting in a chair (Sara). Everything about Sara from her clasped hands, proper posture, and straightened shoulders spoke of ladylike elegance and poise that she learned from her mother (even though Lili had grown far more lax about such things over the years).

Deisarameda, however, had slouched posturing. Arms crossed, one leg crossed over the other, her hair in a messy pony tail and her clothes tomboyish. Years prior, they were almost impossible to tell apart. But their differing ways of handling their shared disease had been them not only easier to tell apart, but also made them drift from one another.

The most prominent difference that came forth in the stillness of Sara's room at the Society house was that Dei was willing to cross over into means and devices that Sara would only gasp at. Orrian's offer being the best example.

Once more, Sara quickly shook her head to her sister's pleas. "It's dangerous. Mother has already told us what has happened to some of her employees who have tampered with the Void." When it was just the two of them, Sara's stutter was completely gone. Why should she feel nervous with her other half? But the way the conversation was gradually growing more heated had her feeling more nervous.

"Locke is not a good example. What happened to him was an accident that he is paying the price for. But what of Liandri, V'lanya, whatever the hells her name is? Or Sitting Ox?"

"None of those would work for varying reasons and you know that! Why are you trying so hard to look into the darkness as a solution?!" Sara's voice rose an octave, and even trembled at the end. Out of fear. Out of worry. Normally it would have deterred her twin.

Not this time.

Dei straightened up against the wall and smacked her fist against the wood, making Sara jump. "Dammit!" She cursed, louder then she meant too. "Do you want to die? Do you want to wait another few years, hoping something changes only for one of us to bleed out from a papercut or trying to have intimacy with someone and our hymen breaks? Or how about a trip on the docks, sister dear?"

Mention of the docks had Sara grimace. Meeting Richard Travers for the first time had been...disastrous. Embarrassing. She had tripped and cut her hand and the blood left a trail all the way to the Conjury Guild that Richard was kind enough to carry her too. "T-That's different-"

Dei rolled her eyes. "It's only different because someone was there to save you. Aren't you tired of that? Waiting to be saved, hoping the next treatment works, sighing after couples and families who have some shred of normalcy? Our own mother is getting her happily ever after since Daddy died, left, whatever that was while we're sitting here like a couple of old maids waiting for our time to come before it's even started!"

Shaking, she gripped onto her skirt to calm herself. "And you feel that we should just take a plunge into an abyss we know nothing about. What if something goes wrong? That rat on Orrian's shoulder was deformed, and likely from whatever experiments he's been performing on it." She stuttered for a moment before blurting out in a more panicked voice then she intended. "I don't want to be that man's next lab rat!"

With a snarl of frustration, knowing this conversation would lead to no where like it had the other times before, Dei turned to the door. "I'd rather be a lab rat then be dead before knowing what it's like to have something as normal as a sweetheart. Or even a pet cat!" As she stormed out, Dei slammed the door behind her so hard it made one of the picture frames on Sara's desk fall back. The glass hit the corner of the desk, a large crack growing down the middle.

Sara wasn't one for omens. But she also wasn't stupid.

Delilah Scythewood · February 24, 2015

As Emeraude left her office, Lili let out a small breath before glancing back at the map and linkpearl the woman had passed over to her. Another job, and now the third potential business arrangement/endeavor by the third Ishgardian that could give them future access past the gates. She never imagined their sights would start to be set so high considering where they came from originally: a collection of those who left Blacktalon and it's lack of proper structure.

Now?

She felt smug. Every time she ever passed through the first ward of the Goblet she felt smug. The rare times she'd see Kolhi'to or Darturu in and around Ul'dah she'd feel smug. She knew she shouldn't because it wasn't a nice emotion to experience, but Lili had a bigger house and more active employees and dammit it felt good to know that she succeeded where others had told her she couldn't.

But she didn't make it this far alone, and she always reminded herself of that. How could she not? Those like Rock, Locke, Katiti...they were all there in the beginning.

Now all that was left was to move forward. Starting with helping her husband.

Reaching into her back pocket, she pulled out a familiar little blue crystalline vial and closed her eyes before pouring the contents down her throat.

Delilah Scythewood · February 27, 2015

Locke Rinannis canted his head from side to side in consideration. "Hmm, depends if it was worth the effort." He grinned in her direction before sipping from his cup. "You didn't happen to hear the linkpearl, did you?"

Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over the tabletop and rested her eyes against her forearms. "No, I'm afraid I didn't."

Locke smiled to himself and rubbed his hand over her back. He cleared his throat and scritched the back of his head with his free hand. "W-well... It seems that..perhaps you may have left a bit of research around the house somewhere... And Sitting Ox thought it was a drink for him..."

Lili stiffened. He couldn't see it, but she was grimacing. There was a pause before her voice came forward again. "...Was it from a crystal vial and blue?"

He nodded quietly. "Mhm..."

"...He drank a Fantasia. What is he?"

Locke tried to keep his voice lighthearted. That always makes news better. "Ah, well, he's a Highlander now... Er, again, rather..?" The whole Sitting Ox and Ghislan thing still confused him.

Lili still didn't look up from her face being buried against her forearms. Wordlessly she pointed towards the wine rack. "I need two bottles, dear. Doesn't matter what they are."

"Of course, love."

He gently kissed the side of her head and moved toward the wine cabinet.

"He...ah, thought it best if you heard it from me."

She listened to his steps, her ears giving a faint twitch. "What's the first bottle you grabbed?"

Locke blinked down at the bottle. "Looks like rum."

"Lovely. Find Ox and set him on fire with it. I'll drink whatever is in the second bottle."

Delilah Scythewood · March 18, 2015

((OOC: Phew! Been a while since I got to write much! Between moving and getting situated plus the various RP I've been involved with it's been hard to take time aside to fill this in! It'll be in a broken format with only snippets from various RPs, logs, and things I'm writing down from memory to encompass what Lili has been up too. Also for the benefit of some old RP friends who have been asking the question: where did Lili go?))

"I...might be pregnant."

Locke stared across to his wife, blinking rapidly as he absorbed the words she told him. The cool desert air was refreshing at this evening hour in the Goblet, washing over them both and rustling golden and pale blonde hair about as the couple faced each other in the front yard of Locke's shop.

"...What?"

Meekly and uncertainly, Lili nodded. "I'm not...I'm not certain. But I have been feeling sick. The night of the Grindstone I didn't take my tea and that was...when..." She trailed off uncertainly and she could see some pink taint his cheeks. "Really?" His voice was soft, but he started to smile.

His smile brought one to her own lips.

"Really."

Lili continued to lean over the levecounter as C'kayah walked across the main room of her company house and back into the halls towards V'lanya's room with his wine in hand after small talk was exchanged. As soon as he was out of sight she sighed and rolled her eyes before dragging a hand down her face.

"Dammit, Li," she muttered to herself, hand still over her face. "I told you to keep it away from me."

Though her mood began to sour, she cast her eyes back down towards the levequest before her, the crystal glowing under the dim lighting. It depicted a woman on a snowy cliff edge and was not a design Lili had seen before. Which was to be expected since it was not of Eorzean make.

Gently palming the crystal sheet, she straightened up and began moving towards the front door as her hand moved up to her linkpearl.

"Rahsha? It's me. Listen..."

By the time she reached the docks and caught the silhouette of the Seeker looking over the water, her mood began to improve.

Three choices.

Her, Cyrus, or Ox.

As Locke slept besides her, Lili continued to stay away. Looking down at his sleeping form while reaching over to brush her fingertips along his cheekbone. Able to catch sight of the shadows his lashes caused while he dreamed peaceful dreams.

Which one would work?

Better yet...which ones wouldn't?

More importantly...

Was it worth it?

"WATCH OUT!"

As Chokho managed to slide out of the way of the giant falling icicle, Lili cast a quick look towards Rashi and Liandri, each in other directions fending off the hounds that seemed endlessly assaulting them. The depths of Snowcloak were frigid and she was only taking solace in the fact this was the end of the line and they were merely a aetheryte crystal away from home.

Emeraude better make this fucking worth her while.

Rashi's ax send one of the beasts sailing towards her and she was ready. Though her robe was heavy, the large slit in the front allowed for her legs to still be able to move. The side of her foot met the side of the hound's face with a crunch before it slid across the snowbank.

Only for another to take its' place as it lunged towards her.

"M-Mama?"

Lili looked up from her paper to look towards Sara, who stood fidgeting before her. Seeing her youngest daughter always made her smile, her demure and shy nature a refreshing break from some of the more callous or blase individuals she sometimes faced on a regular basis at the Society or in affiliated work.

"Yes?" She leaned back in her chair and tipped her glasses atop her head. "What is it?" Sara stepped closer into her office space and slowly sat down on the bench before her mother's work desk.

Though she didn't say anything at first. Instead, the youngest Silverlark twiddled her fingers in her lap. Just as Lili began to speak and ask what was wrong, she started talking at a million words a minute while not once looking to Lili to see how she took the news.

When she was finally done, only then did Sara look to her mother who was looking at her with such a somber expression it nearly had the girl bursting into tears.

"Tell him," Lili said simply. "I've done all I can for you, my dearest. He is likely one of the only roads to survival you and Dei can take so this does not surprise me. He knows the pain of limited life as you do, so telling him would help more then it would hinder."

Even though the words were encouragement, it didn't stop the teenager from bursting into tears and her mother rushing over to wrap her in her arms.

Silently, Lili held her daughter and rocked her back and forth. Saying nothing, for there were no words that could be said.

Ruinfield Oakshield.

Chokho Viqqoh.

The Free Wing's leader shifted paper after paper with general information of some of the newer employees she had gained.

Melodia D'janz.

Cyrus Chambers.

Stopped over Cyrus's name before placing him over towards a more uncertain pile. More papers. More rustling. Taking a moment, Lili closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the house. Nothing but the crackling fire in the next room and the sound of settling. Excellent.

Her hand reached under one of the larger piles, pulling out a simple parchment with some names scribbled on it so that she wouldn't forget them.

Mikh'a Korofi was first and the blonde couldn't help but grin.

"Perhaps it's time the little one gets another visit from 'Amal'thea'..."

Delilah Scythewood · June 28, 2015

It had started as a freak accident. Or...so she thought.

Now Lili had learned to live with the conditions of her odd transformations whenever she happened to sneeze. While not convenient while in public, she usually found the time to step away and take care of herself in private. Or, at the very least, make it so that she could locate her clothes later then normalcy came in the form of a second sneeze.

Even on a day like today she was learning the advantages of such.

Being this small and distracting meant that it was easier to nab the attention of the growing toddler kit of the Rinannas household. Prone to have a love of bright, shiny things meant that he'd toddle after Lili with such squeals of excitement and joy that he tuckered himself out on his own. Within an hour he would find a spot to flop over onto and snore loudly while Lili waited for another sneeze so she could locate her lost articles of clothing.

Yes. The after effects of the amulet shards DID come in handy after all...

Delilah Scythewood · July 20, 2016

While normally a very patient woman, Lili wasn't always good with waiting. She'd certainly look like the picture of contentment and calm, though her insides were another story entirely. Chewing on her bottom lip, she once more looked across her yard to the entryway. Nothing.

For the last bell, there had been nothing.

She rubbed at the back of her neck while the balmy summer breeze rolled in from the seaside. Curse this humidity. Days like these were when she missed being mostly based out of the Shroud. Plenty of shade, mild climates...

There soon came steps along the nearby stairs before a figure came into view with their tail swishing anxiously behind them.

Lili regarded the figure calmly. "You came."

"...I did."

"Shall we go inside? If what you said in your letter was true, we need to have a talk."

Delilah Scythewood · August 2, 2016

It wasn't quite dawn yet. The blue white rays of light were peeking past the clouds over the Mists as they signaled the start of a new dawn. Within the Altair/Rinannis estate the bedrooms were located downstairs where there was an absence of windows. The only thing that told the time were the clocks and the stirring of the household pets and creatures who tended to rise with the morning.

One of the bedroom doors creaked open, a blonde head poking out. Ado paused for a moment and listened to the stillness of the house before looking over his shoulder with a hushed 'Come on!' before tiptoeing out of the nursery and across the hall to their mother's room. Behind him trailed Mikh'a, his tail and ears limp with drowsiness as he carried Elonwea under her arms like a doll. The only sound made was the infant blowing spitbubbles and toothlessly grinning at her own antics.

Since Ado was the tallest, he was able to reach the door handle and slowly turn it, prying it open with a slow crrreeeeaaakkkk before looking inside with his siblings close behind him. Lili's room was pitch black save for a draconian floor lamp in the corner that provided just enough light to see silhouettes of furniture and their mother's sleeping form on her bed.

"Is she awake?" Mikh'a had enough tact to stage whisper, but just barely.

"No. But let's wake 'er up."

Ado slipped inside with the others close behind as he climbed onto the bed. Then helped Mikh'a lift Ellie's pudgy body weight onto the sheets before both boys crawled over to the lump in the sheets. The only thing seen of Lili was the tangled blonde mess that was strewn all over the pillows. Mikh'a crawled on top of the lump and sat, before giving it a poke.

Nothing stirred.

Ado was sitting near her head and looked to Mikh'a. "Poke harder!"

So he did.

Still nothing.

"Mama?" Mikh'a rose his voice a notch, giving another poke. This time the lump twitched beneath him but still nothing. Ado was already getting impatient and moved to the other side of the bed and started bouncing. All pretenses of a calm wake up call forgotten. "Wake up, wake up, time to go on and get up," sang the Lalachild while his bounces made his baby sister rise a few inches off the bed with delighted squeals.

Finally the covers moved and began to rise up. Mikh'a let out a squeak as he tumbled backwards and onto his back next to Ellie, who took this opportunity to latch onto his ear with her drooling gums. He yelped.

"OI!"

All three froze and looked up.

Rather then the soft, welcoming form of their mother the trio was greeted with the hardened muscle tone and groggy red eyes of their older brother. Khavan was staring at the three with a look that was part strained patience and part contempt.

"Uhh...Where's Mama?"

Khavan settled Ado with a flat stare. "On a trip."

"Where?" Mikh'a piped up next.

"With Rhasha."

Both boys were confused. Ellie kept drooling on the miqocub's ear.

"When will she be back?" Khavan let out a groggy sigh. It was far earlier for this conversation then he'd like. Rubbing his face with his hands, he plucked up Ellie and settled her in his lap. When she started to fuss, he merely moved a lock of his hair for her to chew on instead. Menphina knew he had more then enough to spare. "Soon."

Ado's nose wrinkled. "You're not very good at answering questions."

Khavan flashed a smirk that was more groggy then devilish. "Then looks like we need to get some coffee before I'm in a good mindset to answer questions from three little hellions." Mikh'a bit on his lower lip, "Mama says we can't have coffee..."

"What Mama doesn't know won't hurt her."

Both boys looked at each other and let out squeals of delight before scrambling from the bed and heading to the stairs with Khavan trailing about a dozen paces behind them with Ellie making much of his ends into a ball of babyspittle.

A little coffee never hurt anyone, right?

[Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair)

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