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I See Myself In You [Closed]


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Coerthas was fucking cold. Mikh'a had to go outside though, his company was asleep. Tugging the long coat tighter he slipped out in to the winter weather and fished out the pearl that was specifically for him and Siha. ( Because while he wore the Red Wings one at all time he wasn't going to call her on it. )


"...Siha?" would come the tentative question. Ugh. The guilt was so real.‏


The sentiment on the other end was the same, Limsa was cold in the evening, and the long red coat Siha had all but stolen from Erik was pulled tightly up over the knitted dress beneath it. She was passing under the glow of a lamp on the docks when the call cut across the silence in her wake and she froze, her tail prickling from both excitement and indignity. "Mikh'a!" the name was uttered harshly and though he couldn't see it her violet eyes were narrowed and her face set into a disapproving scowl, "Where in the seven hells have you been?!" she asked shrilly. The volume of her voice earned her a look from the docked ship she'd been heading towards but she waved a hand dismissively and the lanky Elezen turned his masked face away from her.‏


Ow. He flinched and clapped his hands over his ears, biting back the sharp cry. He didn't want to disturb the guards - they were all Elezen and we know they aren't his favorite people in Eorzea either. No one else was awake outside and those few late night tavern goers were not the kind of people he wanted to draw attention from, especially since Lucas had been through there.


While he believed the younger Wylder that he wouldn't deliberately deliver the Korofi twins and their little sister to Alexander he didn't trust the older's resources.


"In La Noscea for a little while... now Coerthas." he finally said and looked skyward. The sky was nicer in Coerthas, he had to admit. "I'm sorry. I know I disappeared without a word..." It had been two weeks now. Set was probably furious with him too. "Are you okay?" He'd go in to his own details later though he desperately wanted to see her in person.. Hug her and dissolve all the anger. ;_;‏


"Yes you did" she hissed in return to his apology but she had to admit that she was relieved and the sigh that cut across the cold air conveyed as much. "I was worried sick about you, I didn't know where you had gone! And on top of Erik..." she growled quietly but not loud enough for the pearl to pick it up. Wrapping herself more tightly into her coat she tucked herself back against the lamp, missing the pool of light by only inches as she pulled her hood tighter around her ears and lowered her voice finally. "What could have possibly taken you all the way to Coerthas? And back to La Noscea, I thought your sisters had left that place and come to Ul'dah" she questioned curiously, but there was strong concern. It had to be something big for him to have simply left without a word, but she'd been so wrapped up as of late with Erik's business, as well as her father contacting her again. Her own guilt surfaced but she stamped it down, she had kept in touch hadn't she?‏

"I don't..." he frowned and rubbed his head. He hadn't been any farther north than where they were and therefore hadn't attuned to the Aetheryte in Dragonshead - didn't even know there WAS one there. ( He didn't know many locations because fuck easy travel, his life was about hardships yo. ) "I don't want to talk about this when we aren't face to face." He shouldn't have been moving too far anyways, he'd pushed it with his side to the point that he'd ripped the stitches once already and Sieg had forced him to lay in bed all day for it.


"I-is there a way you can come here?" He sounded all pathetic and scared. Because that's exactly what he was when it came down to it.. a pathetic, scared kid. "I mean.. I..." Hrgh. "I can come to you but then I don't know how I'd get back..." His ears flattened.‏


Siha dropped her ears farther down at his tone, no matter how angry she was she had a motherly instinct and she could tell that he was terrified. Her hand fished below her collar and brought out the stone she never let leave her, the small chunk of aetheryte that helped her travel easier. "I can come to you, there's an aetheryte in Dragonshead that I can use, what outpost are you at? If you don't know then you'll have to ask, Coerthas is large..." she trailed off and then moved from her shadows to head back towards the ship. She needed to tell them that she was leaving before she did or they would worry, and the last thing anyone wanted was a rampaging gaggle of pirates tearing up Limsa looking for her. If her father wasn't so stubborn about using Linkpearls...‏


"No, I know where we are." Mikh'a frowned and glanced back toward the inn room they stayed in before he shut the door tight to make sure no one would get in. It wasn't like he thought someone would get the drop on Sieg but still, he wanted to protect his friends none the less.


Was Sieg his friend..? He had tried to molest him pretty hard that first night.. but hadn't touched him since scaring him. Yeah. Sieg was his friend. Sort of.


"We're at the observatory that's south of that town. There's a chocobo porter that runs this way of Qhota isn't with you..." He hoped not. He saw the way the chicken looked at him. It was just waiting. "I can meet you near the drop off point, by the well..."‏


Siha knew Coerthas well since her small stint with Arcadeus and Erik's lessons about his 'homeland' and she nodded out of habit, only realizing he couldn't see after a moment. "Oh er, I know where that is, and no Qhota won't be with me this time. I'll take the porter out and meet you there. It'll be shortly, be careful" she added the latter in an even more hushed tone before releasing the pearl with her finger. It wouldn't take her long to speak with Yuzu'ya and then port.




She was grateful for her coat when she hit the snow and she pulled it even closer, shivering hard, as beautiful as this place was it was much too cold for her. She'd take the desert cold or Limsa cold over it any day. Her shoes weren't quite made for the weather but she made due, crunching through snow until she got to the porter and then hunkering down on the bird until they reached the town over. She patted the bird's neck and paid her fee, heading for the gates warily, she wasn't always mistrusting but these days you never know what was a trap. Especially with everything that had been going on as of late. Satisfied she wasn't being ambushed she paused by their allocated meeting spot and took to craning her neck up at the sky while she waited. The stars were out and a small smile tugged at her face.‏


He was waiting for her at the promised well, leaned against it with his arms folded over his stomach. It looked like a lazy enough gesture. It wasn't, his side hurt like a bitch in the cold, but he was totally casual about it. She wouldn't know for now. His head inclined in her direction and his ears twitched up before suddenly she'd have an arm full of tiny ginger Miqo'te and he gripped at her like he was never going to see her again. ( He almost hadn't. )


"Sorry you had to come up here. I know it's cold." he grumbled without detaching from her. "I didn't want to not be able to get back to Ragnar." He didn't know what she did, and did not know.‏


She wasn't prepared for him crashing into her but she held her feet and wrapped the equally small Miqo'te in a hug, her hand moving to pet his hair in concern as he clung her her, and her expression bewildered. "Shhh, that's alright, it's not -that- cold" she lied smoothly and continued her slow comforting petting while he spoke, it was almost alarming how tightly he held onto her but she knew the last thing she should do is panic right now. "Back to Ragnar...? Can he not travel? What's wrong? Did something happen?" some panic bled into her voice as her heart quickened, she wasn't sure why she bothered to ask anymore, something had -always- happened. She pulled Mikh'a a little more tightly against her frame and had to resist the urge to hold him at arms length and examine every inch of him, if something went wrong she had no doubts he'd have some wounds. The boy was more of a target than she was.‏


Oh he had a nasty wound. It was a miracle he could walk at all and we'll say it's just because he's awesome.


"He almost died." His voice cracked and the tremble was back. "He's.. it's bad Siha." He pulled back slowly, finally, and looked at her. "He's not himself anymore. He's not.." He swallowed and shook his head. "Sekhmet has been healing him but... The scars. There are rope scars on his neck, his hand... He lost his fingers, and he cries. He cries in his sleep, he cries when he's awake. About how he had to kill his friends, about how he wants to die..." And saying that out loud was devastating for him as the reality of it set in. Mikh'a sank down against the well again, his frail frame wilting. "I don't know what happened, he won't go in to details.. but he almost died.. and now he's not the same."‏


Violet eyes softened and grew half lidded with sympathy at the misery in Mikh'a's eyes, her own ears folded back as he told her what exactly had brought him here. Ragnar. Poor Ragnar. She winced at each sordid detail and when he wilted she crouched down to lightly rest her hands on his shoulders to steady him should he need it. Her mind raced with the possibilities of why or what had happened but there was really no telling. There were plenty of terrible forces in this world that could make a man do such things, and maybe she didn't want to know exactly what it was that had done it this time.


"And you've been taking care of him...poor Ragnar..." she breathed quietly and squeezed his shoulders gently to emphasize the point. "Is there anything we can..." she trailed off without finishing. There wasn't much you could do for something like this but wait. "He will heal in time...I hope. But we can't rush him, and pressing him for details" she pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head firmly.‏


Mikh'a shook his head. "Just time." he said quietly, wisely even though it came with great reluctance. His weight kind of leaned forward against her again though and he pressed his face against her chest. ( Which, if it were anyone but him might have looked bad, but pretty sure even the guards at the observatorium knew he was lame and didn't do anything remotely sexual ever. ) "S'yrah found him a few days ago and as soon as I knew I took off. Sieg followed. We've been up here since." Which did not cover the other week of his absence. "My sisters are staying with a company in the Mists…”


Siha pet his hair again, her strokes gentle while her other arm wrapped around him and squeezed again. His position against her chest didn't bother her in the least, after all he's like her brother. "Hmmm, I see. I...but what about the rest of the time? Where did you -go-? Why?" she murmured quietly, she was gentle with her questioning for now at least.‏


Mikh'a frowned. His hand came up to grip his side finally and he gestured toward one of the open igloos behind them that had burning coals to keep inhabitants warm. "Let's go talk there..." he said quietly. "So we don't freeze to death." He wasn't wearing the warmest of clothes and he knew she wasn't either.


When they were inside he settled on one of the little benches provided and looked at her. "Hey. Remember when you kidnapped me?" he asked with a little smirk.‏


She shivered again without realizing she had been every few minutes, so his suggestion was met with an enthusiastic nod, anything to get out of the light breeze and near something warm. Rising to her feet she followed him to the snowy shelter and settled on a bench opposite of him, her hand reaching out to rest a safe height over the burning coals, they were gloved but thinly so and the warmth made her skin prickle in that itchy way it does when going from cold to somewhere warmer. She smiled slightly with a soft giggle, "You practically kidnapped yourself, I didn't even have to knock you out" she teased gently and then tried a mock smug look. Oh yes she's the best crime boss.‏


"You and I both know that you were planning evil all along - besides, someone knocked me-- YOU LET THAT ELEZEN KNOCK ME OUT!" AHA. That was why his neck had hurt for several days after that. "No wonder he was so damn smug after that." he scowled at Siha though when he was sure she was comfortable he shifted around to sit on the ground in front of her instead. He could suffer the snow for that, he wanted to be close to her.


"I was scared because I thought you were my mother." he said finally. "I thought she had found us - that you were her come to take us back. I lost my dagger thanks to you." he complained, trying to lighten the grim tone he had.‏


She had the decency to at least LOOK like she was guilty, which in truth she was, she felt bad that Dethiram had knocked him out but he hadn't given her much warning. "He didn't exactly ask my permission" she defended but she was smiling slightly all the same, and when he moved to be near her legs she shifted so that he could lean against her legs at the very least. "You shouldn't sit in the snow, you'll be cold again" she chided gently, in truth he could probably have squeezed on to the bench next to her with how slight they both were in build.


"Your mother..." she repeated softly, there was some amusement in her tone, that was surprisingly the second time she'd heard that. Aero had told her much the same once but he'd said it fondly, the way Mikh'a looked and sounded...there was something less than fond about the comparison. Disregarding the dagger comment she fixed him with a searching stare, "Come to take you back where?" she prompted softly, she had never pushed him about his background, but now seemed appropriate. Something made him and his sisters move constantly and with the small amount of information he'd provided just now she was starting to have an idea what.‏


"We ran away to protect Khit." It was obviously more than that. He laid his head on her lap, clearly not bothered by the snow right then. "She's just a kid, and that woman wants to marry her off just because it will make her more powerful. And Khit thinks it's some kind of okay game because she's stupid. I love her but she doesn't know better, she's sheltered and she's naive and that woman raised her to be a tool. She couldn't do it with A'ahdra and me. We're her accidents. Her favorite accidents." He didn't mean that last statement and his ears flattened back as he watched the coals.


"I thought you were her come to take us back to Garlemald." he said quietly, finally. "I'll die before I see them back there, Siha. I won't let her take my sisters back to that place." His hand came up to touch his side again. He almost did. "You're nothing like my mother. I wish she was like you. Kind, and caring, and gentle, and perfect. Khit is like you..." he laughed then."Though you're not stupid. Unless you were stupid when you were her age and then I guess she's /exactly/ like you."‏


Siha's mouth pressed into a thin line as he spoke and she kept her stroking up though it became just a little firmer as her anger at this other woman grew. To treat children like tools. She knew what kind of people did that, she knew what it was like to have a mother be ashamed of you because you weren't her ticket to the high life like she'd hoped that you would be. To be rejected. Her eyes narrowed as she fought back tears of sympathy for him, no one should have to feel like that, no child should ever have been treated that way and here was yet another. Her ears folded back flat at his admittance about Kiht being the tool and her free hand clenched into a fist, balling in the thick tights she wore under her dress beneath the coat.


"I understand" she said softly when he was done, and she did, she hadn't been able to go back to her clan after everything they'd done to her and she couldn't imagine having to be under Garlemald on top of all of it. "You -won't- have to go back there, any of you. I promised we would protect you and we will, but Erik will need to know...once he's better..." she frowned briefly before clearing her throat. She tried to smile for him as he complimented her and she brushed some hair back from his eyes, "I'm far from perfect and I was once exactly like her, not long ago actually...only once I left home and met Erik did I start to wise up. She will in time too." His wish for his mother to be like her made her shift just slightly, if only she could be the mother to all children that had grown up like him, taken away all of their pain. Her face creased sadly for a moment and she went back to her petting. "You know...The Red Wings are very good at dealing with Garleans, Askier used to be one as well, but we saved him. And we'll save the three of you as well."‏


"Oh I'm getting familiar with the Red Wings and Garleans." Mikh'a rolled his eyes. "But I've no news of the list Erik talked about and if it's been dealt with.. I won't be the reason the Red Wings are assassinated and if my name was on that list like Erik said my mother may already know where I am.. Askier and Kahn'a, all of them really, have been through enough." he shifts finally and starts to adjust the coat around so he can get to the hem of his shirt and tug it up to show her the very, veeeeeeeeery nasty axe wound he'd got from Alexander. "This is why I left." he admitted reluctantly. ( SERIOUSLY HOW WAS HE WALKING AROUND. )


"Remember when I told you my sister used to dress me up in a dress with her friend? His brother really likes the idea of currying favor with my mother though I'm not sure he's going about it the right way." To this he smirks and lowers his shirt again. "She may have beat us down but only she's allowed to do it to us. People didn't put their hands on us, she's not a woman to be looked at without fear after all." Siha was the most physical attention he'd had in his whole life outside of Lucas and A'ahdra yo. "Not without her permission. If Sieg hadn't shown up I'd be dead, that's how desperate Alexander is to find my sisters."‏


She shook her head, exasperation replacing her former expression, "Neither do I, with Erik being...16 and not having any memories from his adult life...I don't know how we'll ever find the Vipers at this rate" she sighed and her shoulders tensed. They were in a world of shit right now and his 'situation' wasn't helping in the least, without Erik's knowledge on the Garleans that hunted them they were hunting blind. When he lifted his shirt however her eyes widened and she leaned forward abruptly, "My gods, Mikh'a" she hissed at the wound. It was nasty to say the least and her nose wrinkled, she was already stripping her hands of her gloves and reaching for the hem of his shirt again so she could hover them close.


She couldn't even muster an amused smile for him when reminded her of his forced crossdressing, her brow was furrowed as she concentrated and a small ache began behind her eyes the longer she flowed aether onto him whether he liked it or not. "Alexander..." she filed the name away to tell Kahn'a later, "Well if they have names then we can track them, and if we can track them we can keep them away from you...if not more" the set of her mouth was grim. She didn't like killing but clearly whoever was after them was dead set on killing Mikh'a and one of the harsh lessons she'd learned in her life by now was that sometimes there was no other choice.‏


"..oh is that what happened to him?" Mikh'a asked. "How the hell did he turn in to a kid? He-- hey hey hey!" He suddenly started batting at her hand. "I'm not dying, let it heal normally Siha, you don't need to waste aether on me, it's not that bad." Yes it was. He'd taken a very large axe to the ribs. It was really that bad and he was being stubborn. GEE WHO WAS THAT LIKE SIHA.


He frowned though. He understood the underlying threat in what she said. "Don't dirty your hands with scum like him. Let Sieg deal with it. He's pretty dead set on killing Alexander... I think he likes me. It's like having a big, evil angry attack Elezen." He paused. "He's a friend of Ragnar's. He's the one hiding my sisters... It's more complicated than just killing Alex anyways. Pretty sure A'ahdra has a thing for his brother... he's a pretty stupid kid anyways but he complicates things."‏


The blonde shook her head, pale locks shifting quietly, while she let out an exasperated sigh "I have no idea, Erik rarely has much reason behind how or why something happened. He defies all laws, I swear" she had an annoyed edge to her tone but it was easy to hear that hint of softness when she spoke of him. She couldn't ever be -truly- angry with him. His batting at her hand only earned a tug to his hair with one hand while the other kept up healing, "Stop it, it is that bad, just let me-" his batting continued and she stopped for the moment with a grumble. It would be fine for now, at the very least he wasn't at risk of anything falling out and the thing wouldn't bleed everywhere if he was careful, she could tend it better later.


Her violet eyes were slightly darkened at his advisement and she glanced away, her lips pressing into a thin line again, if only he knew how much she'd sullied her hands. Perhaps not with death, but with things dark, if not darker in the eyes of some. She didn't like dwelling on that time, when Erik had died and she'd tipped near the edge of the abyss and madness, her expression fell before she tried a small smile. "Well...then I'm happy someone is watching your back, hopefully it won't come down to killing anyone" she said hopefully but there was little hope to be had. In situations like this is always came down to killing. Another harsh lesson learned.‏



Mikh'a leaned up then and bumped his forehead affectionately against Siha's. "I know you're worried about me, and I know you want to heal me." he said quietly. "But I'm okay. It's been healing on its own slowly but surely. I want you to save your energy, it still hasn't been that long since what we did and you used almost all of your aether to do that. This is a scratch compared to that so don't worry." and then he settled back down to lean against her legs, laying his head on her knee. "Besides. I'm not worried about him coming back any time soon. Sieg is convinced he'll lose his hand... I put an arrow right through it and he was bleeding pretty bad." There was a sad look in those big pink eyes. "I hope he does lose it." he said finally."It will be a hell of a lot harder for him to take an axe to anyone else."


He seemed to hesitate then said finally. "I don't want to kill him. I don't want anyone to die, but I'll see him dead before he ever tries to lay hands on Khit or A'ahdra, or any of the rest of my friends or family for that matter. He's ruthless, he wouldn't think twice about hurting you or anyone else I love. You're not weak, he'd be stupid to try to hurt you... but that doesn't mean he wouldn't use brutal methods to do it either." Alex's initial goal had been to take Mikh'a and bait A'ahdra and Khit out after all... there was no saying what he would do to someone like Erik in his current state, or gods forbid Lenna. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." he said finally. "I panicked. I didn't want to lead him back to the Red Wings in any way. His task from my mother might not be his only task from Garlemald."‏



Violet eyes closed briefly when he moved to bump his forehead against her and she smiled softly, nuzzling back gently, "If I don't you certainly won't worry about yourself" she murmured at him in protest but her eyes opened and there was the same affectionate exasperation there that she had for Erik. His mention of her expenditure of aether caused a briefly troubled expression to cross her face and she flexed her fingers, she hadn't forgotten, and the thought of the price still gave her nightmares on occasion. And now her conjury...she shuddered for a moment and adjusted her coat so it settled more neatly around her legs and his head that now rested on her knee. Her expression softened once more and she shook her head, "Then maybe he will...I only hope it won't fuel his bad intentions all the more instead of deterring them" she admitted quietly.


She could understand his feelings, there were others she'd wished dead over her family, and though she hated death it was always more agreeable than watching those she loved be hurt over and over again or hunted until they no longer could do anything else but run. She glanced down at Mikh'a, her brow already rising in disbelief, her not weak? She would have snorted but he would have argued and the last thing she wanted was him getting emphatic with his movements and tearing the tenuous threads of skin that held his wound together. "I...it's alright" he reminded her so much of herself that it took her aback, is this what the others felt when she made the reasoning she did, the thoughts swept her away for a moment and she frowned biting her lip. "I would have done the same, but...I would be wrong. You must trust the others, even if it isn't his only motive they can help, and it is less a burden on them...us. If you let us. Combined we can handle them, separate we're only easy targets and your death wouldn't solve anything, it would only give them ammunition. Remember that at the very least." She didn't sound angry or condescending but more enlightened and concerned, now she understood a few things that before she'd dismissed as mere coddling.‏


Mikh'a watched her for a long time before finally climbing up to sit next to her, cuddling up against her side. "I'm ready to come home." He said quietly. "As soon as Ragnar is well enough I'll be coming back, I just need to make sure I keep a close eye on Khit and A'ahdra. I feel like I've been gone too long though." It felt strange to say. Home. But that was what it was and he wasn't sorry for it either. "When I come home I have a request though." He stared at the coals. "Teach me conjury, please."‏



The woman huffed, her breath misting out in front of her as he finally climbed up and pushed into her side, her arm however moved to accommodate him and she leaned her head to the side to brush her ear against his. "I understand, they are lucky to have you watching out for them...but remember if things do get worse you can bring them to the house, I don't think Kahn'a or Erik would have the heart to turn them away and they would be safe." She smiled faintly for a moment but his request took her aback and the woman widened her eyes in surprise, "You want...well I suppose I could, I'm not much of a teacher..." she shifted just enough to look at his face and her expression was just a little anxious. "I can try" she repeated and gave him a small smile, "but only if you promise to come home and for goodness sake let someone heal that thing..." she pointed to his side and tried to look stern but internally she was pleased he'd asked -her- to teach him of all people.‏


"You'll be a good teacher." Mikh'a smiled and nuzzled her cheek again. "Trust me. I don't know anybody stronger than you in conjury." He pulled back then and looked toward the inn where Ragnar and Sieg were asleep. "I shouldn't stay out too long. I know I pulled you away from what you were doing in Limsa..." he added and shifted his gaze back to her. "I promise I'll come home. I don't promise I'll get it healed - things can heal just fine on their own too, but I'll be home in a few days at most. Promise."

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