[OPEN] Kali Kalrath Lalafell on the Path LIVE AT GOLD SAUCER

[Steel Wolf]

"Hello my Linkpearl Listening Loves, and welcome to Kali Kalrath, Lalalfell on the Path! It's that time once again for Eorzea's only linkshell-broadcast talkywand show! Thank you for putting on the pearl and listening in!

 

"And I hope you can hear me, because the din behind me in this broadcast is near-deafening! It's the talk of the realm, the spire of splendor, the lustrous locale, the Manderville Gold Saucer! Where the wise walk out wealthier, and the very air feeds dreams and delights!"

 

The dapper Lalafell strutted down the entrance hall towards the Entrance Square, "talkywand" in hand--a stick with a linkpearl lashed to the end. He would otherwise stand out in his gleaming old tux, but in the décor of the Saucer he was right at home. Still, he hoped that his show would not be utterly lost in the electricity of his chosen live broadcast location. Indeed, it would have been silly to not have a show here.

 

And so he would. And he continued on his monologue as he made his way down the hall.

 

"Friends, words utterly fail to describe the sights, but I will do my best to relay to you all I see...and all I see are lights and fine glasswork and flooring of the finest material...and the lights! Did I mention the lights? The Saucer gleams like a beacon for moths, and truly we are drawn just like them!"

 

Wait, did I just call everyone a moth? That was daft...nevermind--show must go on. Keep going, Kali.

 

"And so I'm here to ask the myriad new arrivals one question--one that would no doubt be on the minds of any who enter these gilded halls: What do you hope to experience while visiting the Gold Saucer?"

 

With that, he makes his way towards a random person, aiming his wand at you, a bright, winning grin plastered across his face.

 

"Pardon me, friend! I am Kali Kalrath, Lalafell on the Path! Would you tell my linkpearl listeners what do you hope to experience during your time at the Gold Saucer?"

[Gegenji]

That talkywand had to go up, and way up indeed, to get anywhere close to the mouth of the towering hulk of metal that was Judge Jredthys. And even then there was the helmet there to compound the problem, or at least it would have if the Judge didn't have his particular speaking mannerism that seemed to ignore any sort of boundary betwixt him and whomever he was speaking with. And now that particular partner in the passage of words was the wee Lalafell down at his sabatons.

 

Where Kali seemed to blend into the crowd with his decadent outfit, the Judge seemed to stand out all the more in his full suit of armor - perhaps even moreso than his venture into a local Ul'dahn watering hole not that many suns ago. At the very least, his imposing figure made crowds seem more than willing to part to let him through even if he had to check in his massive blade at the door. Perhaps that was why Kali had ended up approaching Jredthys - he was easy to approach with the other eager denizens of Eorzea breaking around him like the hull of a ship.

 

The Judge's gaze fell on the energetic reporter, silently evaluating him and potentially giving a bit of an unintentional oppressive air. This figure had approached him, asking a question and reaching up with his bizarre little combination of pearl-and-stick for his response. While he was unfamiliar with both the name "Kali Kalrath" and his "linkpearl listeners", his question seemed appropriately harmless and curious. A questioner asks questions and the answerer must provide answers - such was the way in a court of law - so it was only proper that he answer such an inoffensive question properly.

 

"CARDS."

 

Good answer, Judge.

[Steel Wolf]

Kali had strained as hard as he could, trying his best to lengthen himself at least three more fulms to get the linkpearl to the imposing, armored figure. Surely such a stately, powerful and heroic-looking character would have an excellent resp--

 

--nope. No, he didn't.

 

With weeks of practice under his belt, Kali kept his beaming smile on his face, though the veneer slightly cracked as his disappointment bled through somewhat. Regardless, he was able to continue...and he wouldn't have to stand like an opulent fountain statue anymore to reach the behemoth's mouth.

 

"Yes! .....cards! O-of course, friends, he references the game Triple Triad, an addictive and enthralling card game of strategy, skill and luck. I'm not sure who came up with the game, or even how the cards got distributed so swiftly...but it has almost immediately caught fire and ignited the minds of many in Eorzea!"

 

Next time I should start with a Miqo'te. People love Miqo'te.

 

Kali trundled up to another and aimed his talkywand face-ward. "Hello friend! I am Kali Kalrath, Lalafell on the Path! Would you care to tell my listeners what you hope to experience during your visit to the Gold Saucer?"

[SessionZero]

The tall Elezen stops in his tracks, a Miqo'te girl under each arm and a bottle of rum in each hand. The two catgirls giggle as Reilan puts on his best rogue's grin, his pince-nez shining in the light and replies, "My good man, I'm simply here to enjoy the finer revelries provided by this fine establishment. Namely booze and wenches." He grins as he urges the girls forward, giving them both a drink from the bottles he's double-fisting. 

 

K'hane Tariq deadpans at the Lalafell reporter. "I haven't the slightest idea why I'm here. I have very important research I could be conducting, but my fellows have deemed it imperative that we visit this... establishment. With any luck we shan't be here more than a few bells, but I suspect that will not be the case." She sighs and plods off.

[Steel Wolf]

"My good man, I'm simply here to enjoy the finer revelries provided by this fine establishment. Namely booze and wenches."

 

Kali chuckled as the roguish Elezen strolled off with the spoils of his vices in tow. As the trio made their way down the hall, he spoke into the talkywand, his head craning to unabashedly watch the backsides of the women under each arm.

 

"And there, friends, is someone who knows how to live in the moment to the fullest! I must say, the two stunning bootys--beauties he's got at either side are...well...I daresay that all three will completely enjoy themselves."

 

He trotted over to another respondent, a female this time, and posed her the same question.

 

"I haven't the slightest idea why I'm here. I have very important research I could be conducting, but my fellows have deemed it imperative that we visit this... establishment. With any luck we shan't be here more than a few bells, but I suspect that will not be the case."

 

Kali blinks a few times as the morose woman headed down the hall, trying to glean some level of enjoyment out of her forced visit.

 

"Well! It...is important, friends, to understand that working every waking moment without a moment for yourself is crucial to good health! I'm sure many in the medicinal field would agree. In fact, I bet someone would create a snappy axiom of the advice. Let's see...all work and no play makes for a dull day! Hah!"

 

Damn I'm clever.

 

Kali headed to another, talkywand primed and ready. "Excuse me, friend! My name is Kali Kalrath, Lalafell on the Path. Would you be willing to tell my listeners what you hope to experience while at the Gold Saucer?"

[Star Lin]

Kali blinks a few times as the morose woman headed down the hall, trying to glean some level of enjoyment out of her forced visit.

 

"Well!  It...is important, friends, to understand that working every waking moment without a moment for yourself is crucial to good health!  I'm sure many in the medicinal field would agree.  In fact, I bet someone would create a snappy axiom of the advice.  Let's see...all work and no play makes for a dull day!  Hah!"

 

Damn I'm clever.

 

Kali headed to another, talkywand primed and ready.  "Excuse me, friend!  My name is Kali Kalrath, Lalafell on the Path.  Would you be willing to tell my listeners what you hope to experience while at the Gold Saucer?"

John Waterstrike had manage to pull himself away from a group of overly dress people and to a somewhat quiet corner of the Gold Saucer.  "Go, enjoy yourself, she said," he grumble under his breath.  Being the heir to the Waterstrike name now instead of his sister, meant that he had to do these meet and mingle.  For the poor miqo'te, it was too loud, too color, and too many smell for his liking.

 

Debating on which way would be the easiest way to the airship dock, he found a stick...with a linkpearl on it, being shove into his face.  "What...." he said, startle so much that he almost didn't catch the question from the Lalafell.  "Oh, um, I'm not really sure..." he said, trying to calm down, though his ears still laid flat against his head.  "It certainly..." he began 'too much for me' he almost added, "lively."  He quickly began to move around the Lalafell, "I need to go...and meet someone, yes."

 

Yes, he was going home and hiding in his parents apartment until it was time to go back to Limsa.  At least he could deal with that crazy city better then this place.

[Steel Wolf]

Kali blinked in confoundment as the nervy Miqo'te darted off to his just-then-remembered appointment. He shrugged as the creature headed off before continuing to talk into the wand.

 

"...I perhaps should feel fair to mention, friends, that if the clangor in the background is any indication, that this place is indeed an assault upon the senses. I suppose some people might be suffering from a sort of shock. Maybe sensory overload? In any case, friends, should you elect to make a trip here, prepare yourself for an assault on the senses!"

 

Kali continued to trot about, hoping beyond hope that maybe someone would respond with a bit more candor and excitement...before people stopped tuning in to his show!

 

"Hello friend! My name is Kali Kalrath, the Lalafell on the Path! Would you kindly tell my linkpearl listeners what you're hoping to experience while you're here at the Gold Saucer?"