I suppose I never had that feeling in an MMO. I played WoW many years ago for a brief time purely because so many offline friends started playing it, but I had a hard time getting into it. It was not my setting, my style, or writing I enjoyed. There tends to be very specific styles of fantasy that I enjoy, the genre as a whole is very hit or miss with me. For example, I do not watch Game of Thrones but I just read the first book because people would not stop pestering me about it. I found it dreadfully boring - obviously, this is not a reflection of Martin or the work itself, simply a preference of the reader.
That has been my perpetual frustration with MMOs in the past - I tend to come along late in the formulation of the community and it brings with it various obstacles. That and I simply do not have time to play for long, long periods of time anymore. So naturally, communities tend to revolve around those that do have the time to spend. That is normal.
I am hoping that ARR can be that game I play for a long time to come, sometimes logging in for an hour sometimes longer. See all the content there is to see, try to be more relaxed and less of a "gamer," and just meet some new folks along the way.