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I'nia Emi

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About I'nia Emi

  • Rank
    Master Detective
  • Birthday 08/10/1993
  1. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    Just walk into our place in game! Or send any member you find online a whisper telling them to get their butts back to the house 8-)
  2. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    Whoah I forgot to update this! We're still alive and recruiting more peeps! Had to let a few go though due to being offline for so long, but our doors are still opened for people who want to have shenanigan filled adventures! Just fill out the application on the website, or contact me in game and we can have a small rp session to gauge whether or not we're the right fit for you.
  3. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    Still alive and still recruiting! Just not alts...unless you are already a member and want to get your alts in on the shenanigans then by all means my pants-err my doors are open!
  4. Who told you this? Was it one eyed Marvin? Two toes Timmy? I swear to Hydaelyn if they told you anything else none of it is true. I mean how the hells was I supposed to know not every ship flies?!
  5. I'nia Emi

    Festival of The Free Companies - March 19th

    Scaled Kitten Inc. (Armchair Detectives) Would like to sign up for this, we're not recruiting but we want to get our names out there. We shall host turtle races commentated by our amazing commentators Ilyana Cantata, and Nisa Nisami, both women who have a talent in commenting about turtle races. We also accept bet money in gil, but you most likely will never see that gil again even if you won.
  6. As you sit down on a random bench somewhere in Eorzea to catch your breath, you suddenly hear something strange in your bag. Digging deep into it, you pull out a small cracked Linkshell that you honestly didn't even know you had. Perplexed, and somewhat curious, you pop that bad boy in your ear, and almost instantly your head fills with the obnoxious voice of a twenty something girl. You find yourself once more in Ul'dah, the city of sin and debauchery, crime...crime fills the streets like fleas atop a trash cat. The corruption of the city runs so deep that even the Sultana herself is possibly being pulled by the strings to do the bidding of someone much more influential and powerful. Indeed, this city is not the jewel it once was, but that is all about to change...not really but you can pretend. "Now that I have your attention with that really awesome speech that I totally wrote myself and in no way stole it off a fortune cookie or something. I, I'nia Emi, master detective, and amazing step dancer, have decided to open up the doors of the Scaled Kitten to allow you all to hire us...for a price! Now, you may be saying to yourself, 'Oh I'nia, you are too beautiful to work!' and I agree! I am far too beautiful to work such a dangerous job, which is why I will have my goon-eerrr wonderful employees assist me in this matter!" Small static begins to emanate from the old worn out Linkshell before seemingly returning to normal. "I know what you might be thinking now, for you see I am a master detective, one that can also tell the future...maybe...okay I lied, but I am a master detective! You are saying to yourself, 'But master I'nia, why would I want a detective?!' The answer to that simple my pinheaded future employer, because crime exists everywhere! From the guy who stole your wallet in Limsa, to your grandma who refuses to send you nameday gil, we'll get them all..for a small fee! And you must have no fear, for the fee that we collect goes to important things..like feeding Nisa our pet goat. It is true that I was once a gambling addict, alcoholic, drug abuser, thief, arsonist, former Ishgardian dragoon, drug dealer, Linkshell Talk host, corrupt politica-Hey what the hells do you mean my time is up? I didn't even start talking about our past cases like the time we found a missing tree, or the time we stopped the illegal black market sea shell sales..!" The sounds of a scuffle in the background could be heard along with guards calling for backup. "Fools! It'll take much more than that to st-hey, hey! Is that a Paladin?! The hells you calling heavy infantry for...! Ace! Ace! Get back on the Chocobo, we're getting out of he-" The Linkshell goes dead for a brief moment before seemingly becoming lively once more, Chocobo whistles being blown, guards yelling and screaming, and the sounds of something breaking are heard. "We are-hey that's my foot you ballerina dancing wimp! Where was I, oh right, we are in goblet 5th ward plot 22..our offices are always open! Just make sure to use the backdoor as the front door is busted...busted like your face is going to be!" The sound of a fist connecting to a face is heard before the Linkshell once more dies and you are left more confused than you were when you started listening..could this be the start of a new adventure for you?! Or are you just going to pretend to not have heard all that..you a weenie? Is that it? I'm just the narrator and I already know you're a weenie. Listen to me pal, I've seen things you've never even seen before, have you ever seen a grown ass Roegadyn man in a ballerina outfit? I didn't think so..I've seen some shit. [[ Scaled Kitten Investigations is a comedy RP-FC that takes on crime cases with a tongue-in-cheek nature to them and solves (or blunders) them with quirky methods. We style ourselves in a similar way to the Hildibrand questline and throw logic out the window with our playful roleplay. Examples include: Firing Au Ra out of cannons, villainous Lalafell masterminds escaping in flying houses, dance-off’s with fatal consequences, armies of Allagan cloned maids attempting to take over the world, mysterious professional wrestlers, and many more shenanigans. At Scaled Kitten, we play the role of judge, jury, and executioner with our private courtroom that is 100% legally certified. Scaled Kitten also runs a newspaper known as the Speedy Speedwagon, a prize winning golden standard on the cutting edge of malicious tabloid journalism. It is our belief that there simply is not enough comedy in the Balmung roleplay community, and we seek to remedy that by cooperating with other free companies that are interested in this variety of humorous storytelling. You supply the idea and how you want the case to end, and we will conduct the “investigation” in our usual style. Please understand we may refuse if we feel the tone does not fit what we do. While we won’t object to things like murder mysteries or other grisly crimes, please be aware we won’t approach the matter with a serious tone. We look forward to meeting like minded individuals that have a thirst for adventure while not wanting the grimdark tone that accompanies typical roleplay. ]]
  7. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    WE ARE OPEN FOR RECRUITMENT! Two of our members just sort of disappeared without a trace...a leaf in the wind...a silent fart, so now we are open once more! Feel free to fill out the application in game so you guys know what our RP is like/what we're like! REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN AND NEVER TRUST THE LALAFELL MENACE
  8. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    After much serious discussion and debate we have decided to close up recruitment for the Scaled Kitten Private Investigations! If you're still interested in joining, we ask that you submit an application and we'll keep it in mind for whenever we decide to re-open recruitment. For the time being, we're really loving our small little community in which everyone knows one another, and we don't want to ruin it.
  9. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    Sailis my old rival...we meet again! You fool!
  10. I'nia Emi

    Tear apart my WikiProfile page!

    Together, you and me shall purge the Lalafell menace from Eorzea. Believe in me Lise! Believe in the me that believes in you! VT6LFOIofRE
  11. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    Update: We now have our FC house in Goblet ward 5 plot 22! Anyone is able to stop by and submit requests for our detectives!
  12. I'nia Emi

    Armchair Detectives

    [align=center]Scaled Kitten Private [/align] [align=center]Investigators(and others)[/align] [align=center][/align] [align=left]You're trudging along through the wilderness, your back aches, your feet hurt, your body is about to collapse from sheer dehydration and other dangerous things that might affect you in the wilderness! (Don't ask me what they are because I'm just the bloody narrator). As you lay your head down on the cold hard ground you realize that you are surrounded...surrounded by the feared criminal gang plaguing the wilds of Gridania - the wild dangerous super secret organization that is super not friendly and totally not in anyway good - the Anti Tree Gang that is led by none other than the infamous Two Legged Larry! Alarmed, you jump up to your feet only to realize that you're caught in a web! A web of injustice! As they reel you in slowly you think back to the flyer you read somewhere (again don't ask me where because I'm just the narrator not your mom). Thinking fast, you quickly shout to the heavens, and just like that a very beautiful, smart, amazing, perfect, cute, totally wife material, cunning, intelligent, excellent shopper, I'nia Emi (and others) comes to your rescue with a drop kick! The fiend Two Legged Larry is caught off guard! He falls to his knees as he is encircled by Master Detective I'nia Emi (and others)! Just like that you were saved, and it was all th-What the hell are you doing, hey! Let go of me! I'm not finished! Gods damn it! You will regret cutting my narration short! I bet you the Lalafell put you up this! You blood-*The Linkshell begins to emit static as if it was cut off* [/align] [align=center]*A small Bzzt could be heard as the Linkshell was turned back on after a few moments.* [/align] "FREEDOM FOR EORZEA! THE LALAFELL MENACE SHALL BE TAKEN CARE OF! STAND WITH ME MY BROTHERS! WE SHALL- [align=center]*The sounds of multiple guards scrambling to catch the source of the voice could be heard faintly!*[/align] "THE MAN IS TRYING TO SILENCE ME! TO SILENCE THE VOICE OF JUSTICE! DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM, YOU SHALL JOIN TO PUT AN EN-HEY DON'T TOUCH ME YOU PIG HEADED SEA SHELL EATING, ELEZEN LOVING, SNOT NOSED, BALLERINA PRACTICING, BUTT SNIFFING, TOAST EAT- [align=center]*The Linkshell was once again shut off...what did the beautiful narrator want to say?! Will she ever finish her long insult?! Or is she doomed to forever never complete it as "The Man" Is holding her back from doing so?! Find out next time on Dragon Ball-Err...Armchair Detectives!*[/align]