[align=center]You’re walking in the woods.
There’s no one around.
And your linkpearl is silent.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot them,
A bard with a lute.
They are following you,
About 30 fulm back
They get down on one knee
And they start to sing.
(A bard with a lute)
You’re looking for an aetheryte,
But you’re turned around.
They are almost upon you now.
My god, they are breaking into a limerick.
Today, hire a bard to chase down your loved ones, your tolerated ones, and your subjects of affection to deliver a special message presented to you by…
Valentione’s Singing Telegram Initiative!
We are back, and this year the Bard Rock Cafe linkshell and discord are happy to provide performers for you to use and abuse as the mouthpiece of your passions. For a modest fee, our bards will work with you to create a customized song and performance for your recipient, played live and in person. With but some helpful information about the lucky guy or girl, and the best time and place to make it happen, we can make the season that bit more special for both of you.
Our team of veteran performers will be offering up to 30 custom-written songs and performances, so be sure to act on time and secure your request. To get your song early, join us at our invitational meeting below to best secure your slot in our playlist:
Place: The Gold & Glory tavern - The Goblet, Ward 4, Plot 41
Time: Sunday, February 12th, 8pm EST
How it works:
At our meeting, we will be selling song packages for a base 40,000 gil. If fewer than 30 people attend at this time, the price will stay the same for all, but if necessary, we will auction off the song slots if demand exceeds supply. This limit of 30 slots is meant to allow our bards the time, energy and attention to every one, ensuring that we satisfy both sender and recipient within a reasonable time frame. If there are additional slots left after the initial sale, we will make a community announcement to that effect, and accept new purchasers as we can get to them until we have filled our list.
Purchasers will provide our bards with the information necessary to craft and deliver the performance to specifications (see below for what we will ask for). We will be delivering songs within a two-week time range of February 12 to February 26, so be sure that any intended recipients can be found receptive within that time frame.
To ensure the best and most pleasant delivery experience, we will ask our customers to provide us with the following information once a purchase is made:
* What character is the recipient?
* How much can you tell us about the recipient, and what you wish to convey? The more information you can give, the more tailored a performance we can offer.
* Where and how would you like the performance done?
* How can we work together to ensure the successful delivery circumstances?
* Would you like us to deliver a present for you, in addition to the song?
* Should it be a surprise, or will the recipient be expecting us?
* Is it to be a romantic, friendly, teasing, loving, fun, or prankish message, or a combination?
* Will you specify a song, message, or set of lyrics for inspiration, or just let us work our magic for you?
* Do you wish to choose a specific bard to deliver the message? Please note that we cannot guarantee this last option, because of our need to spread the workload among our performers, but to the extent that we can offer the option, we will consider it. Agreements between our performers and paying customers may be explored at the performer's discretion, but cannot be promised to all parties.
Also, please consider the following guidelines when requesting songs:
* Please, no more than 3 songs per purchaser! While we want to encourage your enthusiasm, we also want to ensure that we get a good variety of customers and not deliberately leave anyone out, nor engage in any favoritism.
* Our bards are performers, not strippers! While we tend to be open-minded sorts (and often quite sexy, admittedly) , and what you ask of one of us individually may vary, we are not openly offering or entertaining any sort of ERP or x-rated performances with this seasonal service. A little teasing and a bit of bawd may not be off the table, considering the theme, of course, but we will be keeping our clothes on for any official paid performances done through this specific initiative.
* Helping us track down and get ahold of your recipients is very much appreciated. The hardest part about our service is not actually writing or performing, but actually finding our clients and getting them to stay in one place long enough for us to deliver. Making this part easier for us means that we can put more of our time into the show, rather than into hunting the quarry.
* We will be writing custom lyrics, perhaps using certain sources of inspiration, for your songs. If you wish to specify certain source material, or insert certain concepts of your own, please let us know in the transaction process. The more we know about what you want, and about the recipient, the better we can tailor the experience. However, our bards are quite skilled at coming up with good ideas, so work with us as you will.
* Our limit of 30 songs this year is not meant to keep anyone in particular from getting to participate; rather, it is to ensure that we can successfully meet all our expectations for this event without facing burnout or forgetting anyone.
We look forward to working with you again this year! So mark that calendar and meet your local menagerie of musicians on February 12th.
Text, idea: Nathan Telluride.