If your character was a raid boss...

[Darien Cadell]

Always: 1x dodo feather

Rare: Housing furniture item that does nothing but looks like a scorched dagger stabbed into a book. I expect to see rooms full of useless dagger-stabbed books.

 

Or maybe instead, just a Wind-Up Edda Vincents saying "You get nothing!"

[Erik Mynhier]

Common: "Red Wings" Gear, as seen on Clio from time to time.

 

Rare: The Flamesworn Minion. A minion of Erik, like WoL minion, each time its summoned he is randomly in Sworn gear with the baseline Relic or in Junior Officer Flame gear and the lv 50 Flame sword and the Tipping Scales Shield.

[Marisa]

1 Ornate Steel Mace

1 Plain Tunic

3 fulms of yarn

12 gil 

4 popotos

1 very sad dog

[Verad]

Pile of Useless Junk - A collection of various odds and ends from Verad's wares. Takes up 20 slots of inventory space. Binding. Cannot be traded, vendored, or entrusted to a retainer. How does he carry all of this stuff anyway?

 

Memoirs of a Master Merchant: The Verad Bellveil Story - A four-hundred page text describing the outrageously scandalous adventures of Verad's early mercantile career.

 

Steel Daggers - A perfectly ordinary pair of finely-crafted steel knives. Why they are in good condition despite Verad's preference for the dubious is a mystery.

[Melkire]

Pile of Useless Junk - A collection of various odds and ends from Verad's wares. Takes up 20 slots of inventory space. Binding. Cannot be traded, vendored, or entrusted to a retainer.

 

But can it be discarded?

[Verad]

Pile of Useless Junk - A collection of various odds and ends from Verad's wares. Takes up 20 slots of inventory space. Binding. Cannot be traded, vendored, or entrusted to a retainer.

 

But can it be discarded?

 

Yes, but you lose 1000 gil for littering fines per slot discarded.

[Oscare]

Also read, this thread to actually make a character into an instance! T'was related.

 

Anyway.

 

• Trusted Bow, ilvl125; Dex, Vit, Crit, Acc; Heavy composite bow used by Oscare. An attached scope increases the likeliness of hitting and nailing an enemy's weak spot. Holding such an old relic that transformed over time gives the wielder a sense of security, like a trusted family member being at your side.
  
• Hunter's Carving Knives, ilvl125; Dex, Vit, Acc, Det; Hunting knives used by Oscare for close quarter combat and carving. Finely crafted, the pair of knives are easy to use and ensures clean, accurate cuts.
  
• Sister's Rapier, ilvl125; Str, Vit, Parry, Det; A light rapier used by Oscare's sister. 
  
• Lone Wolf, ilvl125; Str, Vit, Crit, Det; A large axe that extends on both sides when brandished. It's made with a black steel and the crest of a wolf below the handle.
  
• Teardrop, ilvl125; Int, Vit, Acc, Spell Speed; A staff used by Oscare's sister. It's light and has an enhanced blue gem on the top used to aid her in casting spells faster and more accurately.
  
• Survivor's Guilt, ilvl125; Int, Vit, Det, Spell Speed; A small journal about Oscare's horrifying times back in the Garlean Army. The end is a note about Oscare's determination to integrate into Eorzean culture, no matter what it took to get rid of a cloudy past.
  
• Kanah's Notebook, ilvl125; Mind, Vit, Acc, Piety, Det; A personal notebook that Kanah carries with her everywhere she goes. It details Kanah's joyous childhood with Oscare, then the period that both of her siblings went missing; a time not so joyous for her. Inside is also an account of her best friend's death and Kanah's habit of wearing makeup to empower herself to not cry.
  
• Sister's Staff, ilvl125; Mind, Vit, Piety, Acc, Det; A staff used by Oscare's sister. 
  
• Father's Knuckles, ilvl125; Str, Vit, Det, Crit; Brass knuckles used by Oscare's dad. Although weathered and torn, the blades remain sharp and hurt like a bitch.
  
• Mother's Necklace, ilvl1, All elemental and physical resistances increased by 1; A memento for Oscare, this piece of jewelry has six different colored stones, one for each element. It has a very tribal like design, with stone carved animals like an eagle, wolf, lion, tiger, etc. in between each stone.  
  

[Domri Blackblade]

27 gil.

[Keru / E'ir]

Easy, One of each weapon that is named with a Pun. It's level one and has no worthwhile stats.

 

But he'll rarely drop a Book of Bad Puns.

 

Which is an i135 ACN/SMN/SCH book with 0 in all stats. "The most useless thing ever. You regret finding them."

[Askier]

Askier- When Askier dies you have five seconds to loot the body and have everyone roll or the loot is destroyed by timed grenade. If you loot fast enough you can get:

 

Askier's Wolf Fur coat of a million Billion Awesomness Epicness: Item level 300 - stats: Over 9000 in awesome. Negative: You cannot spell correctly while this is in your inventory.

 

Bandolier of Grenades: You get a bandolier of ten grenades. They go boom.

 

 

Jin'li- A silver gun blade and a bottle of liquid Kindness.

 

 

Ki - You get his double-barrel flintlock pistol and a key to his lock box in the Limsa bank which is a small fortune.