Marriage: How do you handle it?

[Chris Ganale]

Eh... not necessarily. At least possibly not in an Ishgardian chapel.

 

Ishgard seems to be very much a church-run state, where the priesthood has significantly more power than the knighthood. From what I got from the various quests in Coerthas, questioning/denying/defying the church is an unthinkable act, or at least one that's best done behind closed doors and in trusted company else you run the risk of being branded as an unbeliever, heathen, or (worse) a possible heretic. Even Haurchefant had to step carefully during the 30-something MSQ or risk being accused as a heretic (Guillaime's actual legitimacy to make such accusations at that point doesn't factor in).

 

If the attending priest said no (medieval Europe has many stories based around a priest denying a marriage because of lack of "recognized" permission/consent for the bride, to the dowry wasn't enough, to someone marrying below their station, to the priest not liking the family of one of the parties, to someone's position in the church was questionable, and to "God said 'No'"), it's likely that that could be the end of it. The couple could try to bounce around to various chapels until they found someone they could convince to carry out the ceremony, but the previous ones that said 'no' could come out of the woodwork and annul he wedding, call for the knight to put his/her spouse aside (especially if the spouse is "of lower class" or unbeliever/outsider), or even face excommunication or loss of station. Going outside Ishgard for a wedding, the wedding might not even be recognized back inside Ishgard.

 

*shrugs*

 

It's just speculation on my part.

 

Never said anything about a church in Ishgard.

[Volk]

Ameline isn't married so all I really know is. . .

 

 

Hay gurl.

 

Let's make lesbian babies.

 

Come at me, Eva :chocobo:

[OttoVann]

Otto has two wives, with a third in the works. He thinks of marriage largely as a joke due to rampant not-giving-a-fuck-itis he contracted once he hit 30.

[Kismet]

I take Eternal Bonding to be interchangeable with marriage both IC and OOC, because I'm pretty sure SE just called it that to get the homophobes to pipe down.

[Kalooeh]

I think how common marriage is depends on the race and where they're from? Like for some reason I'd think more marriages happen in say Gridania than Limsa. I blame the scenery honestly LOL. While I could maybe see the Las Vegas type weddings happening in Ul'dah, cause as long as you've got the gil you can make most anything happen there.

Gridanians probably marry more 'freely' between whatever there are for social classes, and probably at a younger age (all that forest for a young couple to go 'walking' in, so best to get the girls married before any potential baby bumps start to show), and is probably the more proverbial country-folk type weddings.

 

Limsa... probably has a very loose definition of what marriage is. Lonely wives, horny sailors, with quite a few cases of 'a woman (or man) in every port', so a lot of give-and-take with the concept to keep people happy. Or either has a very low marriage rate or a very high divorce rate. The weddings are probably a case of a captain shows up, the couple says their versions of "I do's", and then the drunken party starts.

 

Ul'dah... marrying outside your class (AKA 'who you can afford') probably isn't that common. The poor marry the poor, the working class marries the working class, merchants and artisans marry merchants and artisans, and the upper class marry the upper class. And among the merchants/artisans and the upper class, I'd imagine there's some manner of arraignment in the process. The son of a, say, cooper (barrel maker) who's being set up to inherit the family business might be shown more favor and given more encouragement by a vicar/wine distributor who has a daughter of marrying age because (in theory) the vicar might be able to get a discount/form a partnership to get the barrels he needs cheaper from his new son-in-law.

Salt wives are a thing in Limsa. There was an npc there asking someone to be one.

Course not the same thing as in Game of Thrones with the ironborn

Can still take it as a thing that they're like a more serious couple than just bf/gf gf/gf bf/bf type of thing, but they're not like officially married/bonded.

Really makes sense too for a bunch of "ex" pirates and how their society is set up. Even with official bondings wouldn't be surprised if there's a lot of extra couples on the side either for fun or in poly amorous situations

 

For Ul'dah (or more specifically the Dunes Lala) I'd imagine it's not all entirely about just their status so much as what the person is looking for. Someone could be looking for a type of partnership more than love; a trophy spouse; or meet someone who has actually pretty good ideas for making money and a good sense for business, but may not have a lot of actual opportunity to do anything with it because of their position but getting married to someone with the money to make it happen and not only make money themselves but help the other person make more money could also be a thing.

 

I admit I always kind of view the Dunes/Ul'dah lala like the goblins from Warcraft. It's not so much just about position as is money or potential for money. And sometimes probably just about looks because the person has a lot of money coming in and all good and just want some pretty/handsome thing on their arm to show off (and opposite of that is those that are more prudent about it and because beauty fades, they go for the person's mind more). Course Goblins are crazy and more likely to get in to random relationships for thrills too than what lalafells would seem to do, but not the point there.

[ArmachiA]

I've been RPing for a really long time and I've never actually gotten married ICly. I argued to death about why I thought it would be boring or it wouldn't work because there could be drama, or your partner could quit the game, or you one could get busy and then what?

 

But a bunch of people went "DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRIED IT." at me and I told them I'd be willing to give it a shot in this game if it ever came up. Begrudgingly.

 

That being said, I've considered having Armi starting to be open to do weddings. Technically, she's still a priestess, she never officially resigned, and still has the power a priestess holds. Plus, she's a bard. Since she's a very open person who is very into Love for Love's sake, I could see her officiating weddings of the interracial kind on the sly. It would be legal and binding, she's still a priestess after all!

 

But... there wasn't much lore - and still isn't alas - on worship and followers of the Twelve (Nymeia, specifically), so it's mostly stayed a consideration. I think it may be lore bend-y enough to work but who knows.

[Shofie]

Shofie is eternally bonded to a fellow miqo'te, and while for all intents and purposes what they have is a marriage, it's not technically a marriage. Since they're both miqo'te, but both have been raised in very non-traditional settings, they eschew the whole typical miqo'te lifestyle thing and more or less try to blend in with the city life. For them, their bond translates to a sense of utter devotion to one another.

 

Having said that, I have no qualms about people who want to rp marriage, or even marrying a miqo'te, though I do think of all the current races in the game, miqo'te would be the least likely to agree to an actual marriage, considering their cultural beliefs. I'm sure, however, that a miqo'te with enough motivation would agree to marriage.

 

I do feel like certain races would be unlikely to get married, but in roleplay, anything is within the realm of possibility.

[Manari]

Manari keeps hearing that term "marriage". Of course she is very traditional, so it's a very alien concept to her. She understands that it's something most of Eorzea does when two people really want to be together. She just doesn't understand what getting married changes. She's managed to wrap her head around why other people might want just one other person and the two of them never have any other mates, she just doesn't quite understand why those two people have to go do something called "get married". Can't they be together anyway?

[Nako Vesh]

Manari keeps hearing that term "marriage".  Of course she is very traditional, so it's a very alien concept to her.  She understands that it's something most of Eorzea does when two people really want to be together.  She just doesn't understand what getting married changes.  She's managed to wrap her head around why other people might want just one other person and the two of them never have any other mates, she just doesn't quite understand why those two people have to go do something called "get married".  Can't they be together anyway?

 

This is pretty much how Nako views marriage. She's only just attempting to comprehend the idea of monogamy.

[Dogberry]

Marriage is very easy, even in Eorzea.

 

Here's how it works. If you and your partner have a conflict of interests, you come to them lovingly, with an open and honest dialogue about what it is you need and want from the situation, and are willing to work with them to bring about a peaceful and harmonious compromise.

 

And then once you've done that you give in and do whatever they say because holy shit it's just easier that way.

[Chris Ganale]

And then once you've done that you give in and do whatever they say because holy shit it's just easier that way.

 

Quoted for truth.

[Flickering Ember]

I take Eternal Bonding to be interchangeable with marriage both IC and OOC, because I'm pretty sure SE just called it that to get the homophobes to pipe down.

 

I came in here to say exactly this. I'm a little confused on why people wouldn't think Eternal Bond is marriage. SE straight up said that they were adding in a wedding system but then double backed and insisted it wasn't a wedding. (Painfully obviously to not offend folks who stand by old fashioned 'traditions.') I guess people might get the idea that it might not be a wedding due to SE's statements on it/the fact that a moogle says s/he doesn't have any real authority. However, I truly believe 100% these statements were meant to be appease those who are anti-gay marriage.

 

As for name changing, I believe that roegadyns at least are patriarchal. I don't think there is much evidence either way for the other races but I admittedly have not looked much into it. I feel like players bring in what they are used to in regards to name changing. (IE: 80-90% of women changing their last name to their husband's irl) Though, if I had to make a guess, Eorzea probably is generally patriarchal. (FFXIV generally seems to want to have Eorzea be a more 'equal' world but without stepping over a few of the traditional gender norms that society has not yet abandoned.)

[Ilwe'ran]

Going to share this : http://xivdb.com/?quest/67114/The-Ties-that-Bind click on dialogue you will see the whole dialogue of the quest which is all about love. This actually makes me thinking that it's more like a wedding than something which tie two people together regardless of their feeling for each others.

Though, when you select your ceremony type, you have access to 3 different sorts of ceremony : Lover's Kiss, Spinner's Hand, or Solemn Oath, the text as well as the NPC hosting those (Mogs, Elezen or Hyur) are completely different and I believe they hold some different purpose as well.

While the Lover Kiss seems to be like any classical marriage, the two others give some different vibes, particularly the last one which consists to sign a book together to seal a pact.

 

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We do know that racisms is really present when it comes to this game, as well as what is shared about Ul'dah's classes is clearly showed during the Weaver quest where you help a miner to seduce an important merchant's daughter (remember what says that oh so annoying guy who tries to hit her, he explains that their parents will have an accord so they would get married).

 

Now how it should be when it comes to character ? I do think it's only up to your own feelings. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if X will decide that it will be a wedding IC while Y will consider it as a promise give to their brother in arms and Z doesn't acknowledge it as something IC. As for changing name ? It's up to you, we know few about the traditions on this side. What matters is only what it means to you and how happy it will make you feel. Your memories and feelings are way more important than how other people see that ceremony and anyway, the lore and the way the 3 ceremonies are done can help you to manage it IC, you could even add some discourse coming from another RPer to have a special ceremony during the 20mn of the reception. Why not after all ? The only limit is what you want to do, not really some game quests or even lore !