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Horsing Around With Pirates

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The following is an in-game RP between two players that has been edited and transformed into a more novel-like format. The RP was GMed by Zanzan Yanzan (RPC name Phantastic Panda), and edited into its current format by me.



One sunny day in Middle La Noscea, the usually nocturnal Keeper of the Moon, Kiht Jakkya, briskly paces out the Zephyr Gates of Limsa Lominsa. Her eyes scan for a specific familiar Lalafell. He isn’t far out as he paces about the popular Wharf Rat wandering grounds.


Zanzan Yanzan is in a panic.


Kiht regards the panicked Zanzan. "Well at least you do not appear to be in danger. What have you lost?" She begins to survey the area. "Voidsent? Monster? Pirates stole something?"


Zanzan whipped his gaze towards Kiht. "A horse! I lost track of a horse! But not just any horse! It was to be Qara's gift! Ahhhhh! I was so careless... Careless! My mind aloof in the clouds once more as it escaped out into the plains!"


She glances to him, and narrows her eyes for a moment. She then folds her lips inward as she suddenly grows amused, and tries to hide that fact. "You lost a domesticated horse?... Well, I am never leaving Haru with you, that is for sure." She takes a deep breath "Let us..." She bites back a smirk. "I will find it for you, my friend."


"I had been warned it was not yet fully broken in but... Gah, darn that book merchant..." He pauses as he peers up to her as his eyes widened with relief. "Oh, much thanks, Kiht!" He lets out a deep sigh as he looks around. "I do not know where to start... or how."


"We start where it first ran off. Was it here, or did you do what many do, and wander haphazardly looking for it before calling me?" She asks as she perks a brow.


Zanzan begins to scratch the back of his head. "I lost it... on the road near Red Chocobo Stead.. Another traveling merchant told me he spotted a strange animal roaming Middle La Noscea not too long ago..."


She grows a pensive expression. "Did the merchant describe this strange animal?"


He shakes his head. "Just unlike aught else he had seen though faster than a Chocobo."


Kiht furrows her brows in thought. "That may or may not be a horse. We risk it, or we double-back and start from its trail..." She pulls out a wooden whistle in the shape of a bird, and blows on the tail. The whistle is melodic like a tune on an ocarina. "Choice, choices... Let us check the only path it could have come through, and see if we find hoof tracks."


Zanzan nods quickly. "Okay! Okay! This way, this way! I fear that something will prey on it!" He pauses as he stares at the whistle, "What is that?"


She holds out her arm after a moment; expecting something, and moments later Haru lands on her arm. He is a small Coerthean Falcon. She smiles at him, but he suddenly makes a hard glance at a nearby Wharf Rat. Kiht reaches to grab his head with her fingers and turns it back to her gaze. "Apologies, food later." She then seems to focus on him.


"We must hurry, Kiht!" Zanzan exclaims.


Kiht then moves her arm out to let Haru take flight again. He is off as if suddenly blown into the sky by the wind. "Lead on, Zanzan."


As they arrive at the area that the horse would have no doubt had to take, Kiht soon finds a few hoof tracks, some covered by wagon tracks and some not. A putrid smell would also fill her sensitive nose as she checks the grass; suddenly horse dung, or at least, dung not belonging to the sheep or chocobos in the surrounding areas. The tracks found near the pile of dung move Northwest in a non-uniform pattern.


"What do your Keeper eyes see, Kiht!?"


Kiht cringes. "Good news, it is not moving orderly. We can catch up. " She glances to him. "My eyes see shite... And my nose found the shite. Let us be off!"


The Lalafell and Keeper jog along the disorderly tracks as Haru follows them from the sky. Focusing on the senses of both herself and her bird companion drains her focus, but catching an animal built for travel and running requires they not slow down.


Kiht glances into the sky to see that Haru was staying with them just as they make their way over a stone bridge. She suddenly comes to a halt when she feels a change of texture under her boot. "Ugh! How much do these things shite? Well... This is why I wear thigh boots... We know it went this way."


Zanzan keeps on following the tracks then suddenly makes a reactive leap over the pile of horse dung. "Kiht, watch out---.... Oh, never mind.." He clears his throat and nods. "We are close, yes? We must be close!"


"Well, we may be..." She steps back then kneels and sticks her gloved finger into the dung to see if it is warm. "Did I ever tell you hunting and scouting is dirty work? This is nothing. Ever go into a bat cave? Shite is knee deep at times."


The Lalafell scrunches up his face in disgust as she dips her finger straight into the poop. "Ech! I believe.. I shall continue to flip through the pages of a book for all of my life..."


Kiht Jakkya smirks. "And to think, bats eat vilekin and fruit, so the shite is mashed up left-overs of bugs and fruit. I hear some Duskwight groups who still live in caves turn the stuff into paste and make that into cups, bowls and plates.... Fine dining, is it not?" She asks as she begins to jog off after the trail again.


Zanzan covers his ears as best he could, trying not to think about such imagery. "Well! One must do..... what is necessary to.... survive... I suppose.."


The two make their way into a C-shaped rocky formation. The horse clearly wanted a place to rest. However, something about the trail changes, and it causes Kiht to halt.


Zanzan bends over to catch his breath. "Whew...."


Kiht’s eyes follow the tracks that appear to have lead them into this area yet there is no sign of a horse. She sniffs the air, but she smells like poo now. She closes her eyes for a moment to see through Haru's eyes who is flying circles just overhead. "Let us see if this horse is hiding here.... So much easier to see tracks from an over-head view as well."


The Keeper spots a mish-mash of various hoof and human tracks then moves to investigate with her own eyes. "Uh oh..."


"What... What is it!? What has happened!?" Zanzan asks in a panic.


She sighs. "Someone may have caught your horse... How much are those animals worth?" She lets out a light growl then moves for the exit to the rocky formation. "If I have to fight pirates this sun, you are going to owe me, brother."


"No, no, no! That cannot be it... Where? Where did it go!? I do not wish to purchase another one... It would take moons for the next ships to arrive..."


Kiht nods then points towards the coastline. "Hurry, before they take it out to sea..."




The Keeper and Lalafell make their way to the nearby series of descending ramps that bridges a large rift in the land. As they made their way down to this sky lift, a large galleon appears docked by the coastline. It is a black ship sporting black and brown-crimson sails. Atop the mast waves a black flag with the embroidered symbol of a flaming eye. There are many men on the docks as well, sporting black hats with a mix-matching of rugged clothing.


Kiht blinks as she studies the ship and the flag. "....If those took the horse, you may need an army. Do you recognize the symbol?"


Zanzan squints towards the flag. "...." He continues to study it. "I feel as if I had seen that before..." He pauses as he studies the sailors more closely. "Oh... Oh gods. They're the Black Hats. I have heard of them. Fortunately, they are privateers... Not pirates... but..."


"Tell me, what is the difference?" She asks as she narrows her eyes at them.


"The Maelstrom supplement their war efforts with privateers... Many who -are- pirates or simply bare no nation's flag. Contracted to commit piracy against Limsa's enemies, that is, Garleans and other pirates as well."


She nods. "I know one of those... Or I think she is one... One sun I should introduce you to Sounsyy..." She lets out an exhale. "I do not suppose you have aught that proves you own the horse?"


"I.. I do have its pedigree papers... Mayhaps that shall be enough..." He bites his lower lip then peers back to Kiht. "I suppose.... There is not much else we can do then simply ask."


She stares at him for a moment. "Or, I dive into the water, climb on board, sneak into the hold, get the horse, don one of their outfits and lead the horse out casually while declaring 'yar, me mates, I'm relocatin' this 'ere 'orse. Cap'in's orders.'" She pauses. "Then we flee."


"..... I cannot tell whenever you are serious or not..." He responds.


Kiht bears a straight face; making it no easier to tell. ".... Let us try asking first. "


"......." He lets out a deep sigh. "Let us go then..."


The two friends move largely unhindered as they seem to be ignored by most of the dockworkers. That is, until they reach the end of the pier, only to be stopped by two men donning black hats. "Oi, 'tat be close enough. " One speaks. "What're are ye' civvies doin' 'ere, eh?"


"We are in search of a large, muscular animal with four hooved legs, a long neck with a narrow head. It will have two large snout holes, and a tail that looks made of only long hair. It will make a noise like 'nheeehheheee'." She speaks flatly.


One of them quirks a brow at Kiht as the other narrows his eyes on them. "Oh yea? Well, we 'ave one, aye. But tat's the Captain's now. Found it prancin' 'round 'ta plains."


"That is my horse! My horse! Qara's horse!" Zanzan interjects then unravels the pedigree papers and shows it to the two. "I have the proof!"


One of the privateers narrows his eyes even more on the papers then lets out a heavy and deeply annoyed sigh. "Ye be lucky the Cap'tin says to let him know when people be bringin' papers ‘tat look all official like.... Wait here..." The man leaves as the other remains on guard.


Zanzan peers over to Kiht with a wide smile. "Mayhaps the Captain is not all too bad for a privateer!"


She glances down at him. ".....I would not climb that tree yet... Just remember your tact. Paper or no papers, we do not need them to fight us on this due to insulting their pride."


"Insulting their pride? I do not understand; I have not done as such...."


"Your tone was a bit forceful. " She shrugs. "Mayhaps I am use to speaking with Gridanians. Raising your voice is oft an insult to them."


After a long moment of waiting, a tall Hyur man can be seen making his way off his ship. The guard stands aside for his Captain without much of a word. As the man now stands in front of them, he crosses his hands behind his back regarding them. He wears a red and black leather, robe-like captain's coat that has seen much better days. His head is adorned with a black captain's hat that, oddly enough, sports a tall and pointed tip like a mage's hat would have. His face also hidden underneath a metal mask that obscures most of his features except for one, glaring eye. He stands there... silently.


Kiht looks up at the man, and isn't surprised by any of the way he looks. "Greetings.... I take it you are the captain?"


The Captain regards Kiht and bows his head lightly, being unusually proper. "That I am." He speaks in a thick Limsan accent yet his words were eloquently pronounced. "Locals here call me Blackhat, after my crew, and so shall you. You say I have something of yours?"


Zanzan nods quickly as he shows the captain the papers. "It is my horse... Imported from Othard. I had lost it during my travels and tracked it back here..."


The Captain studies it for a bit longer, his hand subtly sliding towards his rapier. In one fluid movement and flourish, he unsheathes his blade and stabs its tip through the papers only to pull it closer for him to study.


"Wait.. Hey!" Zanzan calls out as the papers are whisked from his hand suddenly.


Kiht jerks a step away from Zanzan in reflex. She perks a brow then takes another casual step away from him. "I was insulted by papers as well before I learned how to read... I thought, 'how dare these words tell me things...'"


Blackhat pulls the paper from his sword and stuffs it into his coat while a snicker is heard underneath his mask. "Oh quite insulting indeed, especially when those words contain truth one does not wish to see..." He turns on his heel as he makes his way back onto the boat. He turns to glance over his shoulder. "Well then, are you coming to get your horse?"


Zanzan jerks forward in protest at first as his papers were taken then lets out a deep sigh. "Why do pirates insist on making things difficult..." He mutters quietly next to Kiht despite him being quite used to pirates already.


The Keeper lets out an exhale then glances to Zanzan. "Let us go before he changes his mind." She follows after Blackhat.


Blackhat leads them to the top levels of the deck as the helmsman can be heard shouting, "Cap'n's on deck!" Blackhat then turns to face Kiht and Zanzan. "In return for finding your lost horse, I ask from both of you two simple favors...."


Kiht nods; knowing they'd not get the horse back fully free. "My ears are up." She says after looking around the ship. She doesn't get to be on large sea ships often.


Blackhat smiles behind his mask. "Good... What I wish from you, young lad, is..." He taps his chin underneath his mask. "A game of Nine Men's Morris."


The Lalafell quirks a brow. "A round in a board game."


"Why, yes. You seem like a clever fellow. These louts here could hardly hold up. But you, you may be of a challenge..." He peers over to Kiht. "And you... You shall... provide entertainment..."


She perks a brow at that then slowly looks around the ship to see if there are any women on board. "What kind of entertainment?" She asks warily.


She soon spots some women on board, but men far outweigh their numbers. Some of them chuckle at the Captain's statement. "You do not appear to be a worker of the flesh and body, if you were worried about such acts. All will be known in due time..." He peers to Zanzan. "Come, to my quarters. Soon, you will have your horse."


Zanzan slowly peers up to Kiht. "How much gil will I owe you after this sun, Kiht?"


"Depends on what kind of entertainment they wish for." She mumbles.


He bites his lower lip and lets out a heavy exhale. "Best of... luck, Kiht..." He chuckles nervously. "Do... call me on the linkpearl if... there is trouble..."


"You will know if there is trouble long before I call..." She says quietly.


Zanzan nods to Kiht as he leaves to the quarters with the Captain. A long moment after the two disappear, all the privateers began to encircle Kiht in a wide area, surrounding her with a wall of bodies, yet they all remain quiet... Watching her.


Her eyes glance side to side as she notices the enclosing group, but doesn't stare at any of them. "Is this where I dance or something?" She finally asks.


The group remain quiet for another moment longer before one bursts into laughter. "Sum'ting like 'tat!" Suddenly, there are heavy footsteps that encroach from behind; someone is sprinting towards her. A Hyur man aiming to grapple her from behind.


Kiht’s ears flick as she picks up the sound of the rushing footsteps. She quickly darts to the side. Her body turns and rushes a few fulms towards the group before she gracefully turns again and comes to a sliding halt. "What?! .....Are you doing?!" She calls out, and realizes her hand is near the knife sheathed on her boot. She pulls her hand away, and holds both arms up defensively instead. She shifts into a practiced hand-to-hand defense stance. She assumes whatever antics the crew is pulling aren't meant to be lethally hostile.


The hyur tumbles and falls as he tries to stop himself, sliding across the ground. Suddenly the group erupts into constant cheering. The Hyur rises back up to his feet. "Yer a quick one, aren't yah?" He assumes a more readied stance, with his fists held up. "C'mon then. I wanna see wat ye landlubbers are capable of!" He rushes at Kiht again, aiming for another, predictable grapple.


Kiht dances inward towards the center of the circle; making quick hops each time the man gets close to arm’s reach. However, she barely avoids him due to the confined space the crew have made. She throws off her bow and quiver. "A contest then?! You try to take me from behind without warning? Typical male, fine, I will play!"


She suddenly leaps upwards and towards the Hyur crewman; her legs land on his shoulders as she extends her body then shifts her weight with the help of her momentum. Her legs twist the man from his footing, and force him down to the ground hard. His face smashes into the metal plank of the deck as he lets out a groan.


Kiht hits the deck and rolls to her feet just as another from the crowd rushes towards her from the far side. He throws a flurry of punches into her as she quickly moves up her arms in front of her head to protect it from the blows. However, it doesn't do much for any aimed at her body. She is knocked around as the blows land. "What kind of contest this this?!"


Kiht’s newest opponent takes a step back after his flurry, letting out a laugh. "Ye think ye can walk ‘round our ship all willy nilly? 'Tis a test if be yer sturdy like us!" He begins to wind up his arm and fist as he attempts to throw out a single, forceful punch her way.


Her arms that are held up in front of her face part enough to see him preparing a hay-maker. That would take her out... She bobs aside as the punch strikes and slides along her arm instead of hitting her square in the face. Still, even then she staggers from it. She suddenly ducks down a bit then throws out a kick into his groin. "Sturdy enough for that?!"


"Wha.--" His voice is cut out by a high-pitched yelp as his family pearls are kicked. "You... bit-...." His voice is cut off as he lands next to his concussed fellow.


A Sea Wolf crewman this time begins to walk towards the center of the ring, cracking his neck as he did. Eyeing Kiht, he suddenly charges at her like a bull.


She looks towards the Roegadyn and widens her eyes. “Oh Gods.” She turns away from the Sea Wolf and runs to the mast. She puts all the power she can into her Miqo'te legs to jump up as high as she can before drawing two knives, and stabbing them into the wood. She begins to climb like crazy. "Zanzan will pay for this! All of it. He is paying for all this shite!"


The Sea Wolf charges under Kiht’s jump and suddenly knocks into the ring of people, knocking them away like bowling pins with some of them flipping off the ship and into the water with screams. He huffs and growls as he turns to look up at Kiht. Pushing past the crowd of people, he picks up a barrel from the opposite mast before winding up for a throw.


Suddenly, a loud gunshot is heard firing into the air as the crowd goes quiet. Blackhat and Zanzan now returned as the crowd makes way for them. Zanzan peers up with the quirk of his brow towards her. "Kiht! Whatever are you doing up there? A climbing contest?" He calls out.


Kiht hangs from part-way up the mast by a knife stuck in the wood. She glances down at Zanzan and glares at him. "We should have gone with my first plan! It would have been just as swiving dangerous!"


Blackhat peers up at Kiht as well then he sheathes his handgun back into its holster. "I have heard of your kind being impeccable tree scalers..." It wasn't clear if he was joking or not. "Your horse will be waiting on the docks." He says to Zanzan with a bow.


Zanzan regards the Captain with a smile. "Much thanks to you, Captain!" He then notices the wounded pirates then looks to Kiht. "Ah!" He comes to a realization. "Come now, Kiht! Nothin' like sum' rough and tumblin' wit' sailors, eh?"


"I will show you rough and tumble, Lalafell!" She calls down then pulls out her knives - letting herself fall to the deck. She lands on her feet then makes a roll to endure the impact. She sheathes her knives. "Zanzan will pay for the damage to your mast." She says to Blackhat.


"Oh... Oh gods! I.. I shall go retrieve the horse now!" Zanzan flees from the decks as he makes his way off the ship in a brief escape from the wild Keeper.


Blackhat nods slightly. "Minor damage. Though I must thank you myself. Pride and glory my men have but quite thick-headed they are when underestimating others. 'Tis be a lesson for them."


Kiht lets out an exhale. The fur on her tail stands on end as she watches Zanzan flee. She regards Blackhat again. "Do not try the same thing twice, armor the groin and disarm your foes before you try to wrestle." She grows a slight smirk. "Lessons indeed. Mayhaps I have learned some as well. Fare well Blackhat."


Blackhat bows his head, and folds his arms behind his back. "Fare thee well." He pauses. "Ah. Another small favor to ask of you." He gestures his head behind him. "Keep the young lad safe for me, would you?" He asks sincerely.


She perks a brow. "I watch over all my friends... By the by, who won?"


Blackhat smirks behind his mask as he turns around on his heel to take his leave. "It has been eight cycles since I have last been beaten... He proved to be just as clever as the one who bested me before him."


"Moonlight guide your path." She says then moves to get her bow and quiver before leaving the ship to go after Zanzan.


"May your seas be calm."


As Kiht makes her way off the ship and back onto the docks, she sees Zanzan standing beside a magnificent stallion. "There it is then? What we went through all that for?" She studies the horse. "Qara will love it."


The Lalafell smiles widely and lets out a soft sigh as he peers up to the horse. "I do believe she will..." He says softly before facing Kiht. "I... Thank you... You will not believe how much my heart has eased."


Kiht smiles lightly. "And my body is sore... I am going to rest. Please do not lose the horse again..."


"I shall not... Lest I wish to call upon your aid once more... And possibly begin a popoto hunt afterwards..."


Her smile becomes a smirk. "I would start with the Popoto hunt next time..." She takes a deep breath. "Moonlight guide your path."


"Stars watch over you!" He hops joyfully in place as he peers back up to the horse.

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