Created a background for my first character, worried it might be too dark.

[C Hishokhi]

Hello, I created the first draft of my characters background. The idea was that he is unexpectedly laid back for a Miqo'te. Due to his reluctance to share too much information about his history before coming to Eorzea or himself, he is very calculating and won't think an action through at least 3 times. Despite that, he acts Eerily upbeat and seems to be easy to get along with.

I am not sure if its too long or complicated, or if it even fits within the general tone of FF14. I would really appreciate getting some feedback on it, good or bad. Some content of this background story is quite dark, so I will spoiler tag the story.

 

Spoiler

 

J’Hishokhi was a young boy who lived with his mother and sister as part of a small tribe which had separated from the larger Jackal tribe a few decades ago. At 4 years old, he was rather small for his age, and as a result didn’t get along with the other kids. In this tribe, strength was everything, and this was ingrained into their culture, to the point that Hishokhi was already an outcast due to his height, no longer being allowed to participate in the training because he didn’t show the results that they wanted to see.

He would spend his time helping his mother while the other kids were being trained in marksmanship and swordplay. He didn’t mind this though, as he didn’t like training and fighting. His mother would praise him for a job well done, and he would play with his baby sister afterwards. 

This would soon change, as his mother fell ill, and soon after his baby sister did too. The tribe did not have a healer or herbalist because according to J'Zhanhokhu Nunh, they had no need for the weak. So while it was a disease that could have easily been treated with simple healthcare, his mother and sister were forced to suffer the consequences. J’Hishokhi did what he could to alleviate their symptoms, but at 5 years old he had no medical knowledge, let alone any magical abilities. In fact, magic was looked down upon by his tribe, as it was considered to be cowardly. In actuality, the only reason it was not allowed was because Nunh was once defeated by a magic wielding Miqo’te, and was still carrying a burn scar on his back that he concealed from the rest of the tribe.

It didn’t take long for the disease to prove fatal for his sister. Nunh didn’t consider it worth their resources to give the child a funeral, simply stating the tribe’s signature saying “The strong will survive”. J’hishokhi’s mother was summoned to the Nunh’s residence, and was made to take responsibility for what happened. J'zhanhokhu punished J’hishokhi’s mother for birthing a weak child by beating her half to death, then deemed that she should have another child to make up for the one that was lost. He summoned all of the tribe's members and made her conceive his child in front of all of them. J’hishokhi could only cry and call out to his mother as he was held down by some of Nunh’s henchmen, being forced to witness his mothers lifeless eyes stare out blankly as Nunh had her way with her, and the tribe cheered him on.

After it was finally over, the woman was thrown to the ground and left there. Having already grown bored of her, everyone left to go back to what they were doing as if nothing happened, and J’hishokhi was released from the henchmen’s clutches. He quickly ran to his mother and cried to her as she passed out. Having no more tears left to give, J’hishokhi silently dragged his mother back home and with much effort laid her in her bed. He sat beside the bed, angry, sad and confused as evening became morning. He had decided that they would all pay for this, at one point or another. J’hishokhi wasn’t a dim child, so he realised quickly that there was nothing he could do right now. However, he was determined to change that, no matter how long it took.

7 Months passed, and his mother had recovered somewhat. In the last months, she had grown visibly pregnant with Nunh’s child. Her disease had made her life harder yet, and it was a miracle she was even still alive after what happened to her. She would spend her days taking care of J’hishokhi as she would’ve before, but J’hishokhi could tell his mother had changed drastically after the incident. She had grown cold, both emotionally and to the touch. He could no longer sense any warmth from her. As she entered her ninth month, her health rapidly deteriorated.

While she was able to keep it hidden from Nunh and the rest of the tribe, J’hishokhi knew it was only a matter of time before they would find out. He was right. One day, only a few days away from entering labour, his mother coughed up blood in the middle of the tribe’s plaza. She hurried home, hoping she wasn’t seen. However, there was a witness, one of Nunh’s wives. The woman who witnessed it hurried to Nunh to tell him, and within minutes J'zhanhokhu was barging into their home. He glanced at J’hishokhi once, then diverted his attention to J’hishokhi’s mom. Without even saying a word, he grabbed her and started beating her stomach. J’hishokhi hurried to help his mom, but was swiftly knocked aside, nearly unconscious. J'zhanhokhu disregarded the child, and pulled up J’hishokhi’s mother by her hair, and spoke the tribe’s words to her as he dealt her the final blow. “The strong will survive.” J’hishokhi could only tremble with rage as J'zhanhokhu leisurely walked away from the scene. 

 

5 Years later

Finally, it was time for J’hishokhi’s revenge. Now 10 years old, he had spent the last 5 years training on his own, in between his duties to the tribe. He would spend his days being worked to the bone for scraps, but he grit his teeth and bore it all. He put on a metaphorical mask, that of the ideal tribe member that J'zhanhokhu was so desperately trying to cultivate. When he was able to sneak away unnoticed, he would spend time hunting, practicing his bowmanship, and learning about the nature surrounding his tribe's territory. In his findings, he had found that he could create simple poisons from the plant life in the surrounding forests. It wasn’t anything that couldn’t be cured with simple medicine though, but that would not be an issue for J’hishokhi. 

He returned from the forest and made the last preparations for the Selection. The Selection was a series of voluntary tests and trials held by J'zhanhokhu in order to filter out the weak from the strong, and those who passed would be allowed to serve under him directly. If you failed however, J'zhanhokhu himself would put you to death. It was certainly a huge risk to take, but a chance like this only showed itself every 5 years, as a large feast would be held to commemorate the ‘birth’ of the strong warriors who passed the trials. This would be the ideal setting for J’hishokhi’s revenge. He finished preparing, and went to bed early.

The next day, everyone had gathered around for the trials. J'zhanhokhu opened the Selection with a short speech, then instructed everyone who wanted to participate to step forward. J’hishokhi stepped forward, and there were a few scoffs in the crowd. At 10 years old, he would be the youngest participant to date. The other participants were in their late teens and twenties. J'zhanhokhu walked up to J’hishokhi, towering over him. He recalled how J’hishokhi was the child of ‘that disappointment of a woman’, and told him that he was free to participate if he wished to die an early death like his mother. 

J’hishokhi aced the trials, and was soon allowed to serve under J'zhanhokhu directly. J'zhanhokhu commended J’hishokhi for passing the trials, and claimed that he was the child prodigy that J'zhanhokhu had created. J’hishokhi simply smiled and thanked him for his ‘kind’ words, then left to help prepare the feast. Now that he was one of J'zhanhokhu underlings, he was able to access J'zhanhokhu’s private food stash which was being used to supply the feast. As you might have guessed, J’hishokhi swiftly poisoned the food, then brought it out for everyone to enjoy. The poison was a slow acting one, so for the time being, J’hishokhi could simply look forward to what was to happen later tonight. He continued to smile and enjoy the feast with everyone else, even eating with them too. He had the antidote, exempting him from suffering the same fate as the rest of his tribe.

Later that night, as J’hishokhi was standing guard at J'zhanhokhu’s residence, he could hear loud coughing coming from inside. Then, from the rest of the homes and the people on the streets. It was a horrifying scene, but J’hishokhi didn’t feel a thing at the sight of it. He walked inside J'zhanhokhu’s home, and found the large male on his knees, coughing up blood as his mother once did. In his weakened state, even 10 year old J’hishokhi could finish him off. He carefully approached J'zhanhokhu, and then put a knife in his chest. Yet the feeling of euphoria that J’hishokhi was hoping to feel never came, even with his mothers killer and the rest of this despicable tribe dead. He sat next to the corpse of Nunh for a while, staring at it. He then left and took off into the world, away from this corner of the world that had made him suffer all this time. He decided to abandon any connection that he had with the tribe, removing the first letter denoting a Seeker’s origin from his name.

For the coming years, he made a living by joining a troupe, and performing for the large tribes that they toured. He would still spend time training, but he was spending more time being a part of the troupe’s practice runs and plays. As a result of his childhood and now his participation in the troupe, he grew up to be quite skilled in acting. While he had a short stature, he was quite easy on the eyes in the eyes of many of his female, and some of his male, audience members. It wasn’t uncommon for him to seduce the richer ones, and to take some of their wealth with him along the way. He had made a habit of pickpocketing and stealing, and while he was skilled at it, he would get caught on occasion. The troupe leader knew of this, and after Hishokhi was caught once again, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. With a heavy heart, he told J’hishokhi that he couldn’t travel with them any more, and made him go off on his own. 15 year old J’hishokhi was forced to gather his belongings, and leave to travel on his own.

Hishokhi traveled on his own for a year, getting by with his skills in thievery and seduction. He was relieved to not have to wear a mask in front of anyone (with the exception of his victims) anymore, but he wasn’t happy with his current situation either. That is, until he came across a lone miqo’te Nunh. Easy prey for Hishokhi, he thought, but after attempting to pickpocket the traveller, Hishokhi was swiftly put to the ground by him. The traveller asked him calmly what he was doing, and Hishokhi was propelled to answer him honestly by an unknown force.

The traveller was forgiving, and let go of Hishokhi after hearing his response. He went on his way again, warning Hishokhi that he would eventually run into someone he couldn’t steal from if he wasn’t careful, like today.

With his strange sense of pride hurt, Hishokhi decided to tail the traveller until he would show him an opening to strike. After several failed attempts, Hishokhi finally got his hands on the traveler's purse. Yet, when he was about to walk away from the scene, thinking he had done so unnoticed, he noticed that his own coin purse was missing. As he turned around to check on the traveller, the traveller had already disappeared. 

Then, he suddenly heard a familiar voice from behind, asking him if he was looking for something. Hishokhi turned around to look who was there, but he couldn’t find anyone. Confused, he turned back around and found the traveller standing in front of him, holding his coin purse. The traveller told him that he still had much to learn, and that he should follow him if he wanted his money back. Hishokhi declined at first, but then the traveller told him to look in the purse that he had stolen. Its contents turned out to have been emptied, but Hishokhi was sure that it was full of coins before. The traveller told him that if he wanted his ill-earned money back, that Hishokhi should travel with him for a while. Reluctantly Hishokhi listened to the traveller, and did as he was told.

For the coming years, Hishokhi and the traveller would grow closer than Hishokhi would have wanted to, and he once again started to open up to somebody for the first time since his mother passed away. The traveller taught him how to move forward with his life, instead of simply rotting away in thievery and deceit. While the traveller and Hishokhi grew closer, the only thing that Hishokhi learned about the traveller was that he was a member of the Coeurl tribe, and that he was a Nunh looking to establish his own tribe. The traveller was strangely calm for a Miqo’te, and Hishokhi was quickly influenced by him as well. He was spurred on by the travellers words of wisdom, and soon realized he needed to help others who were suffering from needless cruelty for his suffering to have had any meaning. 

 

When Hishokhi turned 20, the traveller told him that Hishokhi should go out and see the world for himself, and made one last request: For Hishokhi to adopt the denoting C from the Coeurl tribe in front of his name, as a way of remembering the time they spent together. Hishokhi gladly obliged, and with a changed heart he set out on a ship set for Eorzea. To be Continued..

 

 

 

Anyway, thank you very much for reading my post!

Edited August 5, 2021 by C Hishokhi

[Faye]

It is certainly dark, but whether it's too much is just at your own discretion, I think! There are plenty of role-players who enjoy writing darker content. If you're one of them and wanting to find likeminded folks to RP with, then that's great! There are also folks who want to keep things light and only RP fluff, silly humor, and wacky adventures, or casual, lowkey slice of life and tavern RP. There's nothing stopping you from RPing with them still if you are wanting to.

 

Realistically, someone isn't going to unload their trauma and tragic backstory onto everyone they meet, so you could keep the gritty details out of RP with those who might not enjoy them.

 

But the caveat I will suggest:

 

Spoiler

In particular sexual assault, abuse, and miscarriage are understandably sensitive topics for many people. I would suggest respectfully asking someone's comfort level OOC before introducing those subjects in RP and refraining if they aren't comfortable. It also might be a good idea to have content warnings anywhere you go into detail about the backstory (carrd, etc.).

 

[C Hishokhi]

Yeah, thats what I was worried about too. I am seriously considering cutting out the sensitive content since it might not be relevant for the story I am trying to tell.

 

And yeah, my character in general would only ever tell or give the slightest hints to his backstory to people he gets close to, if anything at all. But I found it important to at least have it written down just in case.

17 minutes ago, Faye said:

Realistically, someone isn't going to unload their trauma and tragic backstory onto everyone they meet, so you could keep the gritty details out of RP with those who might not enjoy them.

 

 

Do you have any feedback from a practical PoV? What other information is important for creating a character suited for rp?

[Faye]

So far it sounds like you have your character pretty well thought out for the most part already. I wouldn't sweat much more! A lot of stuff will come to you along the way as you dive into RP, so any gaps can quickly be filled in!  The only other thing that may be important to consider is "hooks." Reasons your character would have to interact with others (or vice versa), things to do with other characters, topics that could be discussed with them IC, etc.!

[C Hishokhi]

I see, Ill write down some hooks then, thanks for the heads up. How do people usually find others to rp with? Ive played for the first time yesterday but I only ever got to talk to 1 person and it wasn't in rp. Would it be fine to be IC at all times? Or is that looked down on?

[Faye]

19 hours ago, C Hishokhi said:

I see, Ill write down some hooks then, thanks for the heads up. How do people usually find others to rp with? Ive played for the first time yesterday but I only ever got to talk to 1 person and it wasn't in rp. Would it be fine to be IC at all times? Or is that looked down on?

Are you playing on Twintania? I'm not entirely sure. I'm mostly just familiar with the RP scene on the Crystal Data Center. I'd recommend trying to find some RP groups on your data center to set up RP with some of them and ask if there are any RP hotspots.

[TheSilentHarp]

Personally I love a good dark back story, and always adds more edge to certain characters.

 

Some of the topics, as Faye says, you wouldn't impart on many people (if any). You could keep this for your own journal, but use it to fuel your character.

 

In the game there is much reference to women being forced into acts (nothing stated specifically that I can remember but certainly implied enough) and Sastasha has the one side room in question. So there are trails of dark within the story that is never spoken of, just implied.

 

Personally if you are happy with your story, you have certainly put a lot of thought and effort into it. Dark pasts wise, my first ever RP was a character who was abused while young, she never spoke of it once, only players who read my back story would learn of it, but it built how she would react and talk to people. Without that back story she would never have had the personality she did and most people just thought I was untrusting and a bit abrupt, and very independent. But I knew why, and even in her back story page, not all was revealed, the rest was eternally in my mind.

 

Play how you feel most comfortable, but yeah, put yourself in those shoes, maybe you would tell your spouse, maybe your actions would imply something untoward your background, but you would never speak of it openly.

 

Maybe you could refuse to be in the company of only one type of race (aren't Nuhn Seekers? Maybe refuse a group of Seekers unless a friend is also present, or adds wariness to Keepers but you accept them?) There are ways you could use this to fuel your RP without explaining quite interestingly.

 

Play how you feel comfortable though. And good luck with it

Edited August 9, 2021 by TheSilentHarp