First Time Making A RP Character, critique me?

[hypatiala]

So recently I've decided to try my hand at roleplaying in FFXIV, so here is my character and an edited backstory (to keep her name hidden). Since this is my first time writing something like this please let me know any frowned upon tropes im fulfilling or Lore I am contradicting, thank you!

 

Backstory

 

Hypatia Miro ’s backstory

Hypatia was born as [redacted] on a small farm in La Noscea to a lalafell couple named Mimiro Miro and Susukuru Nonokuru. Popoki was a lalafell who hated her ancestry due to a tragic childhood in Ul’dah. She decided to leave for solitude in La Noscea but while saving money for her journey she unexpectedly fell in love with a young merchant hand named Susukuru Nonokuru. After getting married, they both fled to a small farm in La Noscea where they lived for five years before giving birth to their only child “hypatia”. “hypatia” had an isolated childhood knowing only her parents and a few villagers from the nearby town though none of them had children. Living in isolation but not wanting to force their daughter to take up their lifestyle the couple got several books to help “hypatia” learn how to read and about the world at large. One of these books was the “History of Primals” by Hypatia Introvis. A book that would change everything

 

“hypatia” became fascinated with books and learned all she could about the world outside of her farm. She read every book she owned many times over and her parents supplied new tomes quickly for her voracious appetite. The book she still adored the most was the “History of Primals” . The illustrations of Bahamut, Ifrit and other primals captivated her like nothing else she ever read. Her mother fell sick when “hypatia” was fourteen forcing her to stay on the farm and take care of the farm with her father. Still she keep reading whatever books she could find and her dream became to see and understand the power of the primals she has been obsessed with all her life. Upon her mother’s death one year before the coming of Bahamut, “hypatia” fell into a deep depression. Her mother’s death was the first death “hypatia” ever experienced, this made her face her own mortality and she began to ponder her purpose in life. She eventually decided it was time to leave her home and venture out to see the reawakening of the Primals to try to understand them better and to make something of her life. During the rage of Bahamut, her, her father and local villagers took shelter in a cave. However, despite the cries of her father to stay hidden, Hypatia ventured outside the mouth of the cave for a chance to gaze upon a primal. She was captivated and in that moment knew her destiny was intertwined with the primals.

 

Hypatia decided to change her name from [redacted] to “Hypatia Miro” taking the first name from her favorite author and the last name from her mother. Her motivations for doing this are deeply kept secret as is her birth name.

 

After the rage of Bahamut, the world of Eorzea had changed drastically. Hypatia determined that not only did she want to understand the primals but she wanted to learn more about the new untamed Eorzea, the new land of which no tomes had been yet written. She now sets off to Limsa Lominsa to begin her journey as scholar of the primals and discover of what the new lands Eorzea contain.

 

 

 

 

 

PRIMARY MOTIVATORS Knowledge, Seeing Primals, Discovery/Adventure Sense of Humor Dry

Emotional Disposition Reflective

SEXUALITY

Moodiness Serious

Sexual Orientation Pansexual

Libido Low

CORE TRAITS

Outlook Optimistic

Sexual Expressiveness Modest

Integrity Conscientious

Sexual Expressive Style Romantic

Impulsiveness Careful

Openness to sexual experience Moderate

Boldness Hesitant

Promiscuousness Very Low/Polyamorous

Flexibility Flexible

RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY

Affinity Warm

Adherence Casual Adherent

Comportment Kind

Tolerance Very Tolerant

Interactivity open

Open Expression of beliefs Seldom

Disclosure Secretive

Converting others Never

Conformity Conventional

Attitude Humble

SECONDARY TRAITS

Topics of Conversation Books, Primals, Adventuring, Folklore, Magic, Social issues

Quirks, Habits, & Oddities Reading while walking, Spacing out, getting overly excited about new things (especially books)

Hobbies & Enjoyments(Likes) Meeting People/Making Friends; Traveling/Adventuring; Exploring; Stargazing; Nature; Reading; Swimming; Writing

Dislikes Books out of reach on the top shelf; Being Alone, Racism/Classism/sexism/queerphobia, People who hate learning

Fears Loss/Separation; Being Forgotten; Not Making Friends; Being blind

 

[Syggfryd]

Backstory

 

Hypatia Miro ’s backstory

Hypatia was born as [redacted] on a small farm in La Noscea to a lalafell couple named Mimiro  Miro and Susukuru Nonokuru. Popokiwas a lalafell who hated her ancestry due to a tragic childhood...

Did Mommy get a name change?

 

I do like the story so far. Leaves a lot of room for discovery. Where in LL does she want to go to learn about the primals? Just the Arcanists' Guild? No need to worry too much about lore here, as there would certainly be several volumes on Primals available. (On a side note, I'd be interested to see how accurate the drawings were!)

 

Also, Welcome!

 

There's access to a wiki up top, a useful place for you to pool up more of your thoughts (and come back to when you forget something!). But if you're looking for feedback, you've come to the right place.

 

I'm in the process of making my first RP character, too! It's challenging, but there isn't as much "you need to change this" feedback as I initially expected, which is always a pleasant surprise.

[hypatiala]

Backstory

 

Hypatia Miro ’s backstory

Hypatia was born as [redacted] on a small farm in La Noscea to a lalafell couple named Mimiro  Miro and Susukuru Nonokuru. Popokiwas a lalafell who hated her ancestry due to a tragic childhood...

Did Mommy get a name change?

 

I do like the story so far. Leaves a lot of room for discovery. Where in LL does she want to go to learn about the primals? Just the Arcanists' Guild?

 

Just to the Aracnists' Guild for now since thats where the starting area will be when i start playing her this weekend, the redacted is just to show her name is still a secret know only to her and to explain why her current name doesnt follow lalfell naming conventions (her real name does)

[Yeldir Melfusor]

I love these intellectual journey roleplays. Right up my alley. How much do you know, personally, regarding the history of the primals on Hydaelyn?

[hypatiala]

I love these intellectual journey roleplays. Right up my alley. How much do you know, personally, regarding the history of the primals on Hydaelyn?

Basically what I could find in Youtube videos, I havent really been able to find a bunch of lore but I odnt know how much I should discover while IC or just find by searching on the net

[Yeldir Melfusor]

Ah. Well. I'll leave that to your discretion, then. SE was sneaky even in 1.0 - they left a lot out of the main story, but wrote a great deal between the lines. If you want to know more, I'm your man. Knowing what your character might discover could help you write her - of course, if you're flexible, writing in to accommodate surprises might be as fun or more.