Emeraven

Emeraven and her lover, enjoying a quite moment by the sea

Tokens of affection are often given between lovers, they can have great meaning, and it is the simplest things that have the greatest meanings. Marriage is more than just the final act of lovers who wish to make things legal. It is a ceremony, it gives weight to the symbols of the wedding rings. It should not be rushed, nor done on a whim, but planned and thought of for a long time. It is not just the ceremony, it is not just a document or a token. Is the energy of two people being combined over a time into a alchemy that binds them.

I have managed to sing again, and it felt as if a great tension was released from my heart and I felt free again, unlike I have felt for some time. I was very pleased with the response from the assembled throng, it is always difficult to be heard over the mass of people. Both songs in fact were received well, though I am sure the second caused some eyebrows to raise, though I did hear one pirate shout his appreciation. It was exactly the effect I hoped to achieve, and yet it did not see me tossed from the premises. I am still deliberating what happened recently when I found myself parting from those I loved. Though someone told me recently that at times we have to be selfish, if we are in need or in a situation that makes us unhappy. I am not sure, and there is the matter of broken promises. These have been weighing on my mind recently. I know it will be some time before I feel I acted for the best, the doubt still holds sway in my mind. But I cannot dwell on this forever, to do so would have me stagnate, unable go grow. If I cannot learn from these mistakes it is double the mistake. I cannot let live pass me by, for fear of making another mistake. That is something I hope not to do again, as I have in the past. Caution is good, but inaction will only lead to depression.

I have made various promises, and I do not recal how many I have managed to keep. But I have failed to keep one, it seems, and I will admit to my guilt over not being able to do so. Does it matter that I tried all I could to do so? I cant call myself blameless in this, because a promise is a powerful thing and I should have known better before vowing it. Perhaps I am selfish too, the thought is going around in my head. It is like waring factions, yet to decide the opinion in my mind, and I do not know who I wish to win. Do I become totally selfless? have I always been so selfish? I have questions and doubts now, which is shaking my confidence. But I cannot just sit here and do nothing, confident or not, I must move forward. I have not been able to sing for weeks now, I braved the crowd at a Tavern, but it did not turn out so well. A combination of factors, but most of all my nerves got to me, and my heart betrayed me again not feeling the song. But I must find a way to do this again, for a bard without voice is a sad thing. Find some way to bring heart back into voice, find the fire I lost, a reason to sing again.

Love is something that has caused me among the greatest pain in my life. Perhaps I loved too easily and believed too deeply in its commitment. I stood by my love, till I could no longer hold on, and then I ran, I escaped, I fled. I have been used by my feelings of love, controlled and trapped, and am always, always wary of such happening again. The wounds from those times, have healed, but the scars remained, reminders of past folly. Those scars make me wary, and they make me fight for what I believe to be true. What I want, and need in a relation, be it friend or lover. I rarely compromise because I really trust, and that makes me very difficult to love, for those who have their own scars. Or that is my theory. I have made promises to myself, which I will not break. That if there ever comes a time when my love for someone, causes me to hurt myself, to neglect what I need to feel alive, I have to leave. I will never be trapped or have my feelings used against me. Oh what a long way I have come from the careful woman I was, but if I am to live, to be happy and to find her again, I need to keep this promise. I still see that mischievous girl, daring and full of life, I know I will get her back. In her memory I purchased one of those wind up succubus, and it made me happy. I do have to wonder why such a little thing, brought me joy in these last days when little else could? But, if I am to find happiness, I need to be strong and hold to my belief. I need to feel I am an equal in my love, in my relations, and I will find this, like the hunter I am.

Emeraven is a Bard, she does like the bow and thinks it a very good style of fighting for her. She would call herself a huntress in that regard. She has always believed that songs have a power, something she was taught from a young age. But shes not typical of either class of adventurer. She can be a rather cold and calculating killer with the bow, a equivalent to our world's snipers. She can appreciate nature, she isn't a nature lover, or has any real loyalty to protecting the twelve's wood. She does sing, and if I can ever get myself to preform with her in RP, you will see she prefers a very different class of song than is the traditional bard fare. She could never feel right in a bards traditional attire and wears a black leather long-coat while out in the hunt. She is influenced by her class and job, then that is filtered through her own strong personality.

Go to the Observatorium and listen to the two Elezen on the bunk beds' conversation. Thank you for pointing this out and also thanks to ArmachiA , I am very grateful that they made that choice with the culture of the Eorza

Sitting in my Inn room tonight, so very tried after the hunts, but its a satisfied tired. My mind has turned to song again, I can feel my voice returning again. Its been weeks since I sang, since I felt my heart could give voice to the words I know. I worked again on my new compositions, adapting old songs to this new land I find myself in. So what has changed? I have found the quiet I needed, I found the fire and the passion that I lost, if only in small measures. But to me they are the greatest ardor, such small flames are like stars to one who's flame has dimmed to almost nothing. Nothing is worthless, not matter how simple, how small, how short lived. How far I have come, from the blazing bright, can I remember her clearly, the woman I was? Can I temper it with the woman I am now, experienced and maybe even a little wise?

Emeraven's journal is here a Miqo'te called Emeraven

My thoughts are chasing themselves around in my mind lately, so I'm writing them down so I can find some order in this. It makes me laugh a little and reminds me how much I have changed, from that chaotic girl who would put herself into so much danger, to what I am now. But what am I? Well a mother for one, and perhaps the first among many things. It has changed me more than I really ever thought, and continues to affect my choices in life. I cannot just do as I wish, as others depend on me. At first it was my daughter, but now others as well. Though at this point I am having trouble, because I cannot support them, I am myself in dire need of succor. I did once trust a lot more than I have. It gals me when I am told to be careful, I have tired to say just how careful I am, how few ever get past my scrutiny. Not even those that have been with me for quite some time now. For trust can be gained, and lost with equal measure. I think oft on what my sister says, that nothing is ever as it seems. With that in mind I look on ever new thing, I observe and calculate it from every angle. I am blessed with a quick mind, so I dont think people realize what I am doing, doing what I must to guard myself.

Im glad you were open to discuss such subjects. I know many avoid it as they dont want to been seen as ERPiers, but I think I look at things similar to what you do. With most beings, sex is just a part of their nature, but as we ourselves are affected by our sexuality, so are our characters. I have always played characters with alternative sexuality, because I have personal experience with that, but also because it seems to fit my characters. Which of course is related as I am the one that first thought up the ideas for the characters, but also the characters themselves were influenced by the outside world. When I first started RPing on a MMO, Lesbian had become a very popular concept, though admittedly it was more about the ERP than the actually way it affected the character. It was more the kink, the newness, the fantasy and I being far younger than I am now, got caught up in it. But over the years I discovered the emotional and relationship side of sexuality. Now when I RP someone of alternative sexuality (Bi, homosexual), I concentrate how that affects their relations. They can have close friends with those they are not attracted to. And have the same storybook romance feelings about someone they are attracted to. Eorsza, seems like a place where the historical prejudice of our own, world isn't apparent in this land. But I havent as yet, seen NPCS who have alternative sexuality. On the ERP itself though, I do a mix, at times I will play it out, and at times I wont. However, balance is often a key to keeping up a RP relationship. For me at least, if I dont get to RP out a little of the intimacy (which doesnt have to include sex), I find that my character isnt as expressive about its emotions to their lover. But I have also known many, and RPied with those, that do not ERP at all, and have still had some great RP and even Romantic Relationships. Thank you for posting Lalah, it was an interesting post

I. Basic Info Characters:Emeraven Stormrose, Amare Stormrose Primary character:Emeraven Stormrose Linkshells: Primary RP linkshell: II. RP Style Amount of RP (light, medium, heavy): I prefer to Medium to Heavy RP, for the majority of my time in character. Though I can do light RP, its usually for a reason. For example investigating a bar to find contacts and information. Views on RP combat and injuries: I prefer RP combat to be honorable, not too far outside the realms of possibility for the world we are in. If your inventive and cunning, ill respect your moves. I wont however participate in fights that take hours at a time. I prefer quick battles, so the energy of the fight is preserved. Injuries do affect my character, sure healing exists, but there will be lingering IC consequences with most serious injuries. Views on IC romance: You will see me playing out IC romance, my character is involved with a few other characters. However shes unlikely to accept any advances at this time. She is content with her relationships. I believe it can be a great source of RP and development, but it can equally be something that isn't fun and constructive. Views on non-romantic RP (family ties, etc): I do like family ties and friendships, and it has been the central theme in much of my RP for years. Currently my character is in a relationship with the heads of a family group, called Sargonnai (you may see them around). She has become a matron herself of this group of both blood related and adopted offspring. She also has her own daughter to take care of. Views on lore: I actually do like lore, and enjoy finding out about the world. However as a student of our own history, I know that it only tells part of the story. At times things are omitted and biased, so I can accept things outside of the lore. However I try and not make it too outlandish myself and prefer others keep it reasonable. But if I do play something out of the norm, my character will try and keep that to herself, she would rather fit in with the world around her. Views on chat functions (/say, /linkshell, etc): I take Say as a local chat heard in the general area, emotes are visible if I can see, or hear what is done. Linkshell can be IC if its meant to be, as there are linkshell as part of the story of the world. Tells and group chat I take to be private conversations. I use (( )) to indicate OOC. III. Other Info Country:New Zealand Timezone:South Pacific Contact info:PM me on the forums Some players have sent me tells becuae the name Emeraven Stormrose has been used in other games (Eq2), yes I am the same player. Eme here is a bit different from other incarnations, but because I like playing certain themes there will of course be similarities. I will try and not let idea cross over, but I make not promises, sometimes Eme has a mind of her own [align=center][glow=blue]~Special announcements can be found in the posts below~[/glow][/align]

Hello everyone, I'm Eme, and my character on Balmung is Emeraven Stormrose. As the title says this is my first foray into any FF game, so I'm excited to learn about it. So far Im very impressed and like the activity of the RP community. I am usually running around, but don't be afraid to grab me for a random RP if you do spot me. I've RP'd for many years in EQ1&2, Rift and a few others, and glad to get the chance to come into a new community and start again. I hope to see some of you around the server