You are allowed to Fail

[Darien Cadell]

In the game, yeah, nothing should be as scary as it is. What's the worst that can happen? Jump in!

 

But outside reality can echo hard. If you make a decision that costs a life, especially a life that matters to you a lot, you can end up raw and sensitive in ways you never ever wanted to be for pretty much the rest of your life. It's not always as simple as allowing yourself to fail. Sometimes it takes years of effort just to see the light for the shadows. And sometimes those shadows tell you that even doing little things, like playing a game, might have terrible consequences.

 

We shouldn't believe them. Little things can bring a lot of light with very little actual risk. But on bad days, it's so much easier said than done.

[111]

I find that most of the decisions I make are made within the boundaries of 'success' and 'failure.' I'll get half-way in my attempt, and then stall out and let entropy end my progression when the window for success grows smaller. Even with joining the RP community, I have this stigma upon myself that if post describing my plans for my character are not responded to then it just means it wouldn't 'make the cut' if I finished my work anyway. That if I had approached the situation any number of other ways, I'd have a chance at being 'successful.'

 

My imagination has been working against me more than it has been working for me. As someone with a mild autism spectrum and anxiety issues, it's amazing how much I let some possibility outweigh what simply is. Part of it is mainstream culture, I suppose; Go to school, get a job, pay off debts, continue the pattern.  Follow the formula and you might achieve success, but deviate and you'll certainly be a failure. But the truth is, success may not bring happiness, and failure isn't an absolute; merely a stage of progression, passed through on one's way.

 

Sorry if I have rambled, or reiterated what others have already stated. But My comfort zone is small and cramped, and I like the theme of this thread.

 

Thanks for sharing. I completely get that.

 

I find too often we don't give ourselves 'the benefit of the doubt' that we'd give others. When I start a new thing I'm often looking for an excuse to run away from it. I have a bad habit when I join a new FC, I feel like everyone is going to dislike me. So often the first hint of it, I try to run away before I can get ostracized.

 

Almost always though, its my own head working against me, and whatever Issue I'm freaking out about isn't as big a deal as I thought it was.

 

Even when I have small successes at the start, it can sometimes only ramp up the pressure, because I feel like I have to keep satisfying people. I used to make gaming youtube videos, for example, and people liked them, but it's scary to make more, because I feel like one failure will screw up all those successes <_<.

[111]

-Gegenji being cute-

 

In the end though, it wasn't that bad, right?

 

You put a little good into the world, and helped someone out. You should try again sometime! Hopefully some place more reputable. It can only go better!

 

I should do the same thing, but I'm also anxious to just go to random gaming stores and such to find people. I keep talking about GMing for my friends, but then I get scared that I'm going to be a crappy GM, and no one will have fun.

 

waghhhh.

[Kage]

I should do the same thing, but I'm also anxious to just go to random gaming stores and such to find people. I keep talking about GMing for my friends, but then I get scared that I'm going to be a crappy GM, and no one will have fun.

 

waghhhh.

Hi. Please GM. Let's have fun, we'll have it no matter what.

[13uddy]

I keep talking about GMing for my friends, but then I get scared that I'm going to be a crappy GM, and no one will have fun.

 

But even a "crappy" GM can be hilariously entertaining.  If an idiot like me can do it (my descriptions went on and on and all over the place like a rambling Grampa Simpson story), I'm sure you would do much better.

[Berrod Armstrong]

I should do the same thing, but I'm also anxious to just go to random gaming stores and such to find people. I keep talking about GMing for my friends, but then I get scared that I'm going to be a crappy GM, and no one will have fun.

 

waghhhh.

 

Give it a whirl! You tossed yourself into the RP scene inexperienced, still learning the ropes and making mistakes. From since that time Natalie climbed up on Berrod (and got sneezed on) I have seen you grow and succeed as a roleplayer with rich and excellently portrayed characters. 

 

I believe without a doubt that if you GM, you'll grow into the role just the same. You just strike me as the kind of person who will succeed at anything you put your mind and passion to.

[Martiallais]

I find that most of the decisions I make are made within the boundaries of 'success' and 'failure.' I'll get half-way in my attempt, and then stall out and let entropy end my progression when the window for success grows smaller. Even with joining the RP community, I have this stigma upon myself that if post describing my plans for my character are not responded to then it just means it wouldn't 'make the cut' if I finished my work anyway. That if I had approached the situation any number of other ways, I'd have a chance at being 'successful.'

 

My imagination has been working against me more than it has been working for me. As someone with a mild autism spectrum and anxiety issues, it's amazing how much I let some possibility outweigh what simply is. Part of it is mainstream culture, I suppose; Go to school, get a job, pay off debts, continue the pattern.  Follow the formula and you might achieve success, but deviate and you'll certainly be a failure. But the truth is, success may not bring happiness, and failure isn't an absolute; merely a stage of progression, passed through on one's way.

 

Sorry if I have rambled, or reiterated what others have already stated. But My comfort zone is small and cramped, and I like the theme of this thread.

 

Thanks for sharing. I completely get that.

 

I find too often we don't give ourselves 'the benefit of the doubt' that we'd give others. When I start a new thing I'm often looking for an excuse to run away from it. I have a bad habit when I join a new FC, I feel like everyone is going to dislike me. So often the first hint of it, I try to run away before I can get ostracized.

 

Almost always though, its my own head working against me, and whatever Issue I'm freaking out about isn't as big a deal as I thought it was.

 

Even when I have small successes at the start, it can sometimes only ramp up the pressure, because I feel like I have to keep satisfying people. I used to make gaming youtube videos, for example, and people liked them, but it's scary to make more, because I feel like one failure will screw up all those successes <_<.

 

This is me as well, honestly. I am usually a big ball of cyclic worries that I'm going to screw up or my character will somehow mess up a story someone has planned or that I'll fail as a tank...the list of just things pertaining to the game honestly goes on and on.

 

And while there's definitely been times where I dropped the ball (Hello me, queue'ing first time for Brayflox as a warrior with gear 5-8 levels below) or have screwed up, if not for some of you crazy cool folks, I probably would've stopped by now.

 

When it comes to things like writing or running story arcs, I usually sit on them because of concerns that it might be a dumb idea, or it could start off really strong then suck at the end...and I know I personally HATE movies that are great up till the ending and SO all my rambling aside, it's nice to see and know that other folks are dealing with these things too.

 

For what it's worth though, while I was able to pick out all the things -I- thought went wrong or didn't work or come across as well with the story arc...apparently people had a lot of fun. The saying that we're all our worth critics is entirely true but try not to let that hold you back. Or like I did, just find a few people who don't seem to mind listening to your worried rambles....I know I had to have sent Steel at least a dozen messages during it all >_>

[U'roh Tia]

Thank You Nat, this is so true.

 

On the Rp spectrum I can relate so hard. I ended up making Roh in Phase three beta, with only Miqo'te Naming conventions and the desire to Rp as my favorite job ever. Next thing you knew I was being thrown very TWO striking obstacles. Ishgard being quite Xenophobic and the fact The Drake tribe lives all the way in Southern Thanalan in the middle of the desert. 

 

Through trial, error, playing the MSQ as well as job stories to learn lore and some clever debates with people I finally got Roh in a place RP wise I'm happy with him. "Free" Dragoon Cat. Also through the encouragement of a select few individuals I got over my fear of "Being seen as Cliche or overdone Miqo'te." And threw my self out there. For that I thank those individuals so much for giving me that courage. I only did this cause I had the courage to fail.

 

The same could be said of PvE. I used to hold myself to a absurdly high standard thanks to the previous games and communities I've dealt with. ((FPS and MOBAs mostly.)) I used to think I was a horrible Dragoon, evasive jumping off ledges, taking titan HM AoE's after jumping at wrong times. I felt even worse with all the "lolDRG." being thrown around then.  I was just about to do the most heart-wrenching thing I could and just give up on being what I loved, quit being a Dragoon and be something useful as I put it in that state. But, those same people encouraged and supported me. 

 

@Zephyo I know that feeling dude. I really do. The possibilities scare those of us who are on that spectrum. I'm on the high functioning spectrum and even still now the threat of failure scares the ever living heck out of me.