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13uddy

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About 13uddy

  • Birthday 10/09/1979
  1. I wouldn't say I'm anywhere close to "overcome", but I've at least gotten to a point where it is somewhat manageable except at the worst of the worst times. I was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 4, and through a combination of chemical imbalances, side-effects of treatments, stressful situations, an EXTREMELY bigoted and self-absorbed family and other things, I've pretty much been dealing with severe anxiety for 30+ years. Not fun, not fun at all. And nothing aggravates me more than the "Get over it" mindset some people have. Do they think we WANT to be like this?!!?! I have been on and off medications for years, but it is touch and go. When a medication stops helping, I get scared because I've had some REALLY bad reactions to some anti-anxiety meds and I am terrified history is going to repeat itself while searching for a new one. This last time was fairly lucky since I only had to try two before the third one worked without any major side effects (an occasional vivid nightmare, a little nausea and a minor migraine once or twice a month, but otherwise works fairly well). Most of my management techniques are silly or sound pretty stupid, but they work for me. One is something I learned from a kid I knew going through treatments for cancer at the same time I was. She had a "lucky charm" of sorts that she imagined helped keep her safe. I adapted a similar technique using my (of all things) DC Comics Lantern Rings. I'll hold one or slip one on my finger, close my eyes, do my breathing exercises and envision a bubble of light energy surrounding me, protecting me from whatever. If I've forgotten my rings, I'll start chanting the Sith code (because Jedi are scum) (out loud when alone, silently in public) and imagining I'm gaining power and strength from The Dark Side of The Force. I know it is ridiculous (and before anyone asks, YES, I know they aren't real), but it works for me. Sometimes I use a distraction, like watching a comedy, fantasy or sci-fi movie or TV show, reading a novel, playing a video game or some other thing that can help me not focus on the anxiety. Other times, I start writing. If I focus on something else intensely, it can help the anxiety come down or go away since I'm "ignoring" it (imprecise term, but hopefully you get the idea). I just hope anyone else with anxiety issues finds something that works for them. Doesn't matter how silly it might sound to others, if it works for you, it works for you.
  2. I wouldn't call my character "upbeat", but he is positive, and I worry I'm just going to be completely ignored for not being "Grr, gloom, doom and despair!" all the time. It isn't like he's bouncing off the walls like an anime baby given too much sugar or annoyingly trying to get everyone else to be positive, but I still worry he'll be seen that way for trying to be civil, saying please and thank you and being just a tad quirky. I'm also worried he'll never woo a Highlander or Roe lady, but that is another insecurity entirely.
  3. You know those microwave bags of frozen vegetables that say "poke holes in bag to vent"? Little tip, DO NOT hold the bag in your hand and use your other hand to stab it with a knife. To be perfectly fair, though, this was the very first time I ever had to get stitches that wasn't either medically related or because of an injury caused by someone else (such as an accident or being pushed down a flight of stairs). Other than that... Well, to be honest, I do a lot of things that I feel stupid about afterward. I don't have that little voice in my head that tells me something might not be the best idea, not to mention I'm on enough strong medications that I can't think clearly all the time, so I end up doing stupid things rather frequently. It usually turns out more humorous than disastrous, at least.
  4. Which is why I'm playing my DC and D&D Dice Masters in nice, well lit legit establishments.
  5. I miss my old gaming group. We used to play a bunch of different games, ranging from D&D to Star Wars to various superhero RPGs and so on. I rather miss the various Star Wars RPGs we used to play. Overall, the mechanics were similar to other tabletop RPGs (we played both West End Games and Wizards of the Coast versions), but it was Star Wars. For the majority of our games, I often played lesser known races (like those from novels, comics or video games), and I outright refused to play a Jedi. Force powers were cool and all, but there is a smug satisfaction to be had when the rest of the group of Force Sensitives all get their backsides saved by a smuggler or medic.
  6. Already started on the first of the month, runs until the 24th via Nintendo Network (normal internet mystery gift download). I can't wait for next month when they are giving out Jirachi. I'm also super giddy because I got the Virtual Console Pokemon Yellow last night. I thought I was going to have to wait until next month because of med bills (insurance decided to stop paying for one of my meds that I cannot take the generic version of), but someone surprised me with a prepaid eshop card.
  7. Even though we don't know each other, I hope you'll find happiness and fun in whatever else you end up doing. Take care!
  8. I don't have a Gamestop in my area and I'm unable to drive (medical reasons), so getting to one is rare for me. I think the last time I was at Gamestop was when Star Wars Galaxies was still around, so it has been a while. Someone else here offered to see, but their Gamestop said they had no idea what they were talking about and some people are saying it isn't a serial code distribution. If you end up out by one and want to check, I truly appreciate it. If you can't, no worries.
  9. *INTENSE QUIVERING* You've made me a happy man. More details are available on the official Anniversary area of the Pokemon site. I'm just hoping they don't change details at the last minute and end up giving away those listed from Nintendo Network at specific locations I can't get to.
  10. Although I still haven't managed to get Mew (and if it really is not a serial code as the sites claimed, may not be getting it at all), I'm pleased that they are splitting the rest of this year's anniversary mythical giveaways between Gamestop and Nintendo Network distribution. Just in case anyone hasn't seen, this is apparently the lineup: – February: Mew (GameStop) – March: Celebi (Nintendo Network) – April: Jirachi (Nintendo Network) – May: Darkrai (GameStop) – June: Manaphy (Nintendo Network) – July: Shaymin (Nintendo Network) – August: Arceus (GameStop) – September: Victini (Nintendo Network) – October: Keldeo (Nintendo Network) – November: Genesect (GameStop) – December: Meloetta (Nintendo Network)
  11. I've checked out a few devices like this. The part of me that wanted to be a superhero growing up keeps imagining how they could be "fine tuned" for use in crime fighting. Not realistically, mind you, as I'm more likely to end up blowing myself up if I ever tried any of them (though it would be a very "me" way to go, I have to admit).
  12. I'm not too crazy about Charizard either, but I do like Charizard from a design point of view. I love dragons and dragon-like creatures, so visually it appeals to me. In the games, however, I rarely used one until I ended up getting a shiny Charmander in Pokemon X from Prof. Sycamore. I wasn't even trying for one, but when I got it I was like "Yep, keeping it!". The only fire starter I'm really fond of is Torchic's line, and I have absolutely no idea why.
  13. Although my character does pay respects to most deities (he's not a practicing anything really, but he wants to cover his bases and all that as well as genuinely wanting to learn about various beliefs and practices), the one deity he actually really worships to any degree (though not in public) DOES NOT EXIST. When they were young, his adoptive older sister told him there was a Goddess of Sweets, and she simply never told him that she was joking. So his whole life, he has given the most thanks to this Goddess of Sweets every time he gets the luxury of indulging in them because he has an enormous weakness for any sweets, and although he isn't particularly naive or simple-minded, he still hasn't figured out that his sister was teasing him. He assumes her followers are secret, so he rarely speaks of "her divine sweetness" with others for fear he might be breaking a taboo and fall out of her favor. However, of the actual Twelve, he is most drawn to Menphina. He believes love, and not just romantic love, is the most powerful emotion there is, for good or for ill. He knows it can make you feel powerful, like when he is with or thinking of those he cares for the most, and that it can completely devastate you, like when his sister went missing or when his adoptive parents passed away.
  14. Although not my absolute favorite Pokemon, I have to go with Sylveon because they are both friendly, affectionate, and just so darn cute!! It wraps its ribbonlike feelers around the arm of its beloved Trainer and walks with him or her.
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