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Hello all!


I've done very little rp. I think I like long term rp relationshisps, tho I can't see that being sustainable with most people. I'd like to learn how to do short rps with people.


I'm really struggling with hooks even though my character has a back story. Is there anywhere I might be able to get some guidance on this.


I'm super shy and usually talk myself out of approaching someone even after reading their entire carrd and making a mock write up greeting in their preferred method of contact.


Most people I have approached usually ignore me or run away. Not to say that's many people. I've only rped with two people I don't know irl, and they approached me. They have their own rp lives though but now that I've started I want to keep at it.


I just don't feel I have much of value to contribute. I'm not particularly articulate or witty and I often make mistakes under pressure. I feel like I migt be boring people. I also play a guy who isn't particularly nice all the time.


Sorry for sounding so morose, lol. Just came here looking for some guidance on how to move forward because I'm a bit discouraged.

Edited by Maeroj
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Hello, Maeroj, welcome to the website! 😊


Feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and doubt are understandable and quite normal when starting out. In fact, your experience is even shared by some who have been RPing for a long time. 


Are you able to RP more with the people you know irl? That can go a long way to helping iron out any anxiety as you learn more about RPing and exploring the various ways to approach RP events. 


There's nothing wrong with RPing a character who's unkind, but doing so can be very difficult since the natural response from another character is to simply interact with a more pleasant character. May I suggest developing a separate character with a friendlier disposition? A more inviting character should make it easier to establish lasting interactions and connections with other characters. When your confidence is built up, and you're comfortable with the flow of RP in general, you could revisit your present character.  


Something else to consider are your character's traits, strengths and goals. Having a solid understanding of who your character is and what they hope to achieve can help quite a lot when conversations come up. This could also help colour the reason for your character attending a given event. It's sort of like a drama class exercise. What is my character's motivation, what is my character's disposition and how do those influence their present circumstance? 


Here's an example. Let's say I'm RPing a lumberjack who's been inspired by the heroics of others to do his part in defending the realm. We'll call him Fred. Now, Fred can't just join the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and defend the world immediately, so we have a dream for him to work towards. What can help him get there? Being a local guard would help him earn some experience. So his short term goal is to join the Yellow Jackets.


So right away we have a character who is decently strong, good with an axe, is very accomplished in a gathering profession and wants to gain experience in guard duties.


When at an RP event these can serve as talking points, especially when interacting with a character who has a related background or goals.  Working for the Yellow Jackets isn't his dream job but a means to realizing that dream. So if Fred strikes up a conversation with a character who works for a security Free Company he could apply for that instead of the Yellow Jackets. This would also open the door for plenty of RP opportunities in the future. 


Let's say that during a certain RP event Fred only meets up with characters who are interested in making fancy designer shoes, he could still ask people what they think about the Yellow Jackets. Does the average citizen have concerns about corruption among the Yellow Jackets? Or poor leadership? Does it take too long for them to show up at the scene of a crime? Fred could gather such feedback and either choose to get his guard duty experience elsewhere or vow to help improve the Yellow Jackets. 


By having a few ideas in mind for your character you can better aim their comments and thoughts when RPing. Speaking of thoughts, you can type out what your character is thinking without them saying it. This is useful when RPing a character who isn't very forthcoming or has something to hide. It allows us to share the story of our characters without the character giving themselves away. A Garlean spy, for example, will have thoughts about their mission, but won't actually admit to any of it. 


I apologize for the length of my reply but you posed some fair and universal concerns that many of us have had at some point. I know what it's like to feel discouraged or to get writer's block. I hope you find renewed inspiration for your character and RPing in general. 

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Hey, Maeroj, welcome! Finding RP is a lot of throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks, especially if you're looking for those particular scenes and connections that are really satisfying to you, so unfortunately that involves sifting through a lot of "rejection" and interactions that maybe aren't always working for you and/or the other people involved. So really the best advice I have is to keep at it and not take anything personally, because it's probably not. As Moon mentioned the feelings of anxiety and insecurity are totally normal for a lot of people, especially in the beginning. I've been RPing for years in this game alone and still find myself fighting against those feelings.

Your hooks should be based on the sort of RP you want to do with your character and the reasons others might have for interacting with them and vice versa. They should highlight your character's personality, interests, or backstory but also provide a means for other people to get involved in the kinds of RP that you want to explore. I highly doubt your RP is boring or invaluable! You don't have to bring anything amazing to the table. Most RPers don't, and they still find plenty of people who have fun writing with them. You seem to be someone who is self-aware, wanting to grow, and able to express what you mean in text, and that's most of what it takes to be a "good" RPer. Everyone makes mistakes and most people will be patient and understanding, especially if you're new to the game or new to RP.

As for not-so-nice characters, they can make things difficult, especially if you're new or finding yourself struggling with other things already. That's not to say you can't or shouldn't keep playing your character that way, but it can be an obstacle. If your character is too abrasive, it's good sometimes to check in with the people you're interacting with OOC and reassure them it's all just RP.

Edited by Faye
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Thank you Faye and Moon Type!


I appreciate your guidance. I do RP with my husband occasionally. He plays this snarky lalafell lady and I play a lanky elezen who doesn't know how to treat women. The dynamic can be really fun and really rocky with drama everywhere. His time is very limited, though, and the poor guy often falls asleep while I'm happily making IC conversation 😆. Baring that, I have no one else irl who RPs. That's the hard part.


As far as the angsty ars I enjoy playing (and have put a lot of story into), my character is still capable of making a good first impression. I have two alts, but I really struggle playing happy go lucky types. Though, I should try that anyroadway.


I had a bit of a breakthrough though. By chance, I got involved in a RP that was being (accidentally or intentionally) set up by a swarm of frog head wearing PCs in and around the Quicksand. Though this was a chance thing, it helped me come up with a hook with someone. They did a WU after I finally plucked up the courage to throw my RP icon on my elezen. All of the stuff you guys have said became apparent in the coming, I don't know, hours that I role played with four different people! The first person was a new, shy RPer like me. It meant a lot that she joined me just to chat or RP casually. She pulled in an experienced RPer. Then, someone else randomly joined us after the first person left. All the while another experienced RPer was going all around the Quicksand taking drink orders in character.


It was a thing of beauty. I found that, even among these experienced RPers I was able to hold my own, include the shyer players (which I love to do), and keep my character the way I envision him. I was able to pull back from vomiting tmi about my character's back story. Being around people who used /em descriptions encouraged me to be free to do the same. I realized I'd already learned what I needed to do but needed an example in person to show me the ropes. I didn't apologize more than once. I was even able to engage in a dirty joke or two and follow up rejecting a booty call with grace (this was something I feared having to do, but is inevitably necessary for a non-ERPer like me,  unless the PC is my husband XD).


I know it won't always be easy. Hooks are still lacking as of right now, but it was such a big confidence booster I really wanted to share!

Edited by Maeroj
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I'm really glad you had such a great experience and are feeling better for it!! :D It's those fun, totally unplanned interactions like that make everything worthwhile! I hope you can continue to find lots of RP you enjoy!

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That's great to hear! I hope you continue to have rich and inspiring RP interactions in FFXIV and beyond. It's a wonderful thing to create such an experience with others and see things come together like that. ^.^ And having overcome the anxiety you felt before you now know with certainty you can do it again. 

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