The Stigma

[C'kayah Polaali]

I've been reading the "seeking Miqo'te females" thread with some interest as its developed. One thing that really stood out to me - I've been thinking about this a lot lately for other reasons - is the reactions people have been having to it when they assume that it's about ERP. Now, I don't really want to clog up R'mah's thread with a discussion of ERP, but it seems like a good time to split that off into its own thread. Searching the forums, I see this isn't the first time someone's started a conversation about ERP and people's reaction to it, but the last one was long enough ago that I'm going to just start a new one instead of necroing the old.

 

Let me start with a confession, 'cos it's germaine to the topic: I ERP. I haven't ERPed in Final Fantasy, but I have ERPed a few times in games in the past. Does that make me a bad person? A dirty pervert? I don't think so, but you'll have to make your own decisions there. I'm making this confession as an experiment, because of something I think is pretty common in the RP community - despite my having engaged in ERP in the past, I've never come out and publicly admitted that I do so. Why? Probably because of the general stigma that seems to be associated with ERP.

 

So what does this mean in my case? Those of you who know me know that I describe myself as a role-play whore. I've role-played for decades. I'm an AmberMush alumni, for any of you who remember AmberMush. Pretty much my entire RP history in gaming has been at least partially an attempt to recapture the depth and intensity of some of the AmberMush stories, and I typically prefer RP to any other activity in any MMO I play. While I like all kinds of role-play, I prefer heavily character-driver role-play. I love morally ambiguous, villainous, and even evil role-play. I love romantic role-play. Complex stories with a surplus of intensity are my meat and potatoes. So when I say that I ERP and that I've engaged in ERP a few times in games in the past, put that into the context of my role-play as a whole. Why am I doing this? Consider it an experiment. It's pretty widely assumed that a huge portion of the role-play community engages in ERP at some time or other, but just never publicly admits it. Probably for the same reasons that I've never admitted it in the past. So for this game, this time around, I'm going to come at it from the other direction and just flat out say that I include ERP in the types of RP that I do.

 

With that out of the way, let's talk about this terrible stigma associated with ERP, and why a lot of people react the way they do. Look at the "seeking Miqo'te females" thread. It's pretty clear from the get-go that the extras M'rah was asking for were not simply to fulfill an ERP fantasy, but that they were to be used in a story about what was obviously a very twisted Nunh and the status of slavery in Final Fantasy. Despite this, so many of the responses include some sort of ERP disclaimer. I'm not saying this to try and single out anyone, nor to cast any sort of blame on anyone - if blame were to be cast, I'd certainly be guilty of posting my fair share of "blah blah, oh, by the way, I think ERP is fine so long as it's kept private, and I'm not personally interested" replies to OOC comments over the years. Instead, I'm mainly just interested in why ERP is such a hot button topic. Hot enough that the fact that M'rah's arc involves slavery seems less controversial than the impression that it might involve ERP.

 

I think probably the obvious top of the button is probably the squick factor. Some people don't care for sex scenes in their RP or their books or their movies. Nothing wrong with that. I, personally, won't watch the "Saw" movies because I simply don't want to put those images in my head. Other people get squicked out for different reasons. A big one used to be the "man factor" - maybe it still is, I don't know. You know: the old ha-ha-only-serious joke about MMORPG standing for "Many Men Online Role Playing Girls". A lot of men get squicked out at the idea that their character's slender leman is really "le man". Yet many of those same people will happily read novels with fairly explicit sex scenes without feeling uncomfortable at all. This is the "author factor" that people talk about: Is Neuromancer squicky because William Gibson wrote the character of Molly?

 

I think another big part of the hot button is what I like to call the "rocks factor". You know. "I'm fine with good role-players ERPing, but most ERPers are only doing it to get their rocks off." Which is a bit of an odd thing to say because, for me personally, everything I do in RP gets my rocks off. Political RP. Conflict. Romance. Espionage. Theft. In Star Trek Online I played a character that engaged in black market slave trading and sold Orion knock offs of Cardassian copies of obsolete Klingon agonizers in bulk. And that got my rocks off. Writing the tail end of "A Midnight Walk" with Tobias got my rocks off. It's all thrilling. That's why I RP. And you know what? The same goes for everyone. Roleplayers role-play because they like it. It's satisfying. It's pleasurable. It gets their rocks off. Why, then, is ERP considered differently? Why is it good and admirable to get your rocks off doing an intense, involved arc about conflict while it's bad and squicky to get your rocks off doing an intense, involved RP that includes ERP?

[LiadansWhisper]

I've tried to understand for a while now why some people care just sooooo much about what other people are doing, but I still don't get it, tbh.

 

I actually don't much care what someone is doing behind the computer screen (though, seriously, don't share that info with me, pls!).  I care about the story, and stories can lead anywhere.

 

As long as everyone involved in the RP is happy, and no actual RL laws are being broken (i.e. minors!), I really don't see how it's anyone else's business.

[Yloise]

I think what C'kayah is getting at it is not necessarily sex behind ERP. I don't go all the way with folks, because I have fun in other ways with drama and intrigue. I get more pleased with myself and giggle insanely (to my family's confusion) at times at my reaction and other's situations. It has nothing to do with arousal but more with the ways we like to create puzzles for ourselves. Thats what I love about RP.

[raindrops]

...okay, so either the term 'get your rocks off' means something entirely different in the UK than it does wherever you are or you are admitting to some very odd things.

 

That said, ERP is fine as long as it's kept private. And honestly I don't see where this stigma is, beyond the fact that people would rather it be kept private to allow younger players to participate and because some people really don't want to see that shit and should be allowed to avoid it.

[Rinh Hallani]

That said, ERP is fine as long as it's kept private. And honestly I don't see where this stigma is, beyond the fact that people would rather it be kept private to allow younger players to participate and because some people really don't want to see that shit and should be allowed to avoid it.

 

Sums it up for me.

[Fenrir]

The stigma comes from the roleplayers we've all run into. The ones who want nothing more than to get their character into another character's pants. The ones who ruin plots and scenes because they can't do anything without focusing on romance or sex. I've seen whole storylines get jacked by these sorts of people, and you know what the majority of those types do when asked to tone it down? They get defensive, they whine, they claim they've done nothing wrong. Notice I said majority, not all.

 

 

And really it's just starting to come off like ERPers have a persecution complex. Have fun ERPing. I don't care. No one cares. Literally no one cares. People get grumpy about it because there's hardly any reason to bring it up, but somehow it keeps being brought up. I can go my entire day without hearing about your ERP. There's also the fact that there are dedicated communities out there for this sort of thing, where you can get in contact with such like-minded people.

 

I've not seen anyone come to these forums posting really dark, bloody, stomach-churning violence. I've written two little drabbles, and people die in both, but I kept their deaths lights. I tried to make sure no one would be put off by it.

 

But I love dark RP. I love horror. I like violence, I like seediness, all that fun stuff, but most of the people I RP with don't appreciate that. I wrote a story once of one of my characters dousing some poor schmuck with gasoline and lighting them afire. I was playing a yakuza at the time. Yakuza are some crazy assholes.

 

The response wasn't great. Did I get pissy? No, I made a note of it and I cut down on the content I presented that group with. People have hang-ups. I will question them, but they're those people's hang-ups at the end of the day, and I'd rather respect their wishes not to be exposed to shit they dislike than alienate or make them uncomfortable.

[Fenrir]

double post wee.

 

y i no can baleet

[Whittledown]

The 'if it's in private' thing that always attends this is such an odd thing to say to me.  It's not like this is a different rule than the vast majority of people have in real life.  Sex is a part of life, you just don't do it in the street. 

 

I have no problem with ERP just as I have no problem with non-ERP. 

 

There is a stigma because there is an assumption in many people that people who engage in ERP only engage in ERP.  And that's just blatantly false.

[C'kayah Polaali]

There is a stigma because there is an assumption in many people that people who engage in ERP only engage in ERP.  And that's just blatantly false.

It's an oddball assumption, too.

 

I mean, most people who play MMOs to the endgame don't roleplay but do raid, but we don't make the assumption that people who raid don't RP...

 

...okay, so either the term 'get your rocks off' means something entirely different in the UK than it does wherever you are or you are admitting to some very odd things.

Granted, I'm stretching the metaphor quite a bit... 

[raindrops]

The 'if it's in private' thing that always attends this is such an odd thing to say to me.  It's not like this is a different rule than the vast majority of people have in real life.  Sex is a part of life, you just don't do it in the street. 

 

Unfortunately, it does need to be said, even if it seems like it shouldn't. There are people who don't understand this - there were quite a few on Gilgamesh, though I've yet to run into any on Balmung. They are the ones who any negative feelings about ERP are aimed at, both because of their complete disregard for the comfort of others (and, again, for the law, since they're doing this in the open where minors can see it) and also because they become, for a lot of people, the 'face' of RP in general.

 

They attract trolls to all RPers because people respond to RPers from then on with the same amount of care for people's comfort as they saw them displaying.

[Neka]

I suppose I should preface this by saying I am the current leader of an MRP themed LS/FC so my opinion on the subject is quite biased. I will also state this is my opinion and I have not read through the thread and apologize if I restate something someone else has stated more eloquently. 

 

However, disclaimer's out of the way, and this will likely be long because I am terrible at keeping things short : It's the subject that's often debated in every MMO that I have currently encountered.

 

"ERP" to me is generally divided in two basic categories. There are those who wish to log in and simply ERP with each other for no purpose other than the scene in question or in layman's terms "Short term RP". To me I generally consider this "cybering" as the sole purpose of it is short non-lasting and often only for the benefit of the people behind the computers for sexual stimulation. It's not -always- the case, but in my experience 9/10 people who practice this are only doing it in place of generic porn.

 

Then there's the second category: those like myself who see life as not being G-rated and figure that their characters lives should also not be g-rated. Regardless whether people will admit it or not, sex has a huge impact on one's mood due to the endorphins released and the events leading up to the act. There's a huge difference between going out to a bar and getting plastered only to wake up next to someone you thought you'd never talk to much less wake up with the next morning and being secretly madly in love with someone only to finally have them notice you and take you out to dinner and things escalate from there.  

 

The latter is mostly what I'm going to discuss as the former I prefer to ignore it's existence due to bad past experiences with this particular group. 

 

From a character perspective the two above scenarios can play out and affect the character in different ways. It leads to questions, drama, and more importantly -character-. The choices we make in real life tend to shape who we are as people and as such in my opinion it is the only way to shape a character's life. I, like many people, start with a simplistic idea only to build on it through people I meet in RP. Occasionally, like anyone else, I'll have an idea for a story or scene that shaped was significant to the character's history/personality but before they encountered anyone in the game world, however the bulk of my quirks are shaped by the people I associate with. If my character were to be intimate with someone else's character there's always context just like the real world. 

 

I think the stigma comes down to the videos or the idea of people playing MMO's for porn instead of the MMO. I think it's fair to say there is more than enough fan art and other forum communities to support this idea. I've learned to look at gaming communities much like high school. Regardless of the actual age of the players, maturity will always vary. Through maturity one broadens their perspective on matters such as sex and context of it all. The immature typically follow the crowd and speak on ignorance because it's considered the "cool" thing to do. I have been on PVE based servers where I have "confessed" to being one of those "faggity role-players" they made fun of all day. I have been teased for it yet on the flip side with full focused RP servers the raider in me has been teased by RPers as being elitist. Players who engage in both aspects of a game or more so in both aspects of RP (Mature and Vanilla) run the risk of being tortured by others who also play said game. 

 

The bottom line is generally it's ignorance and a lack of respect for people's play styles both in game and in RP. Life is too short to be held back by people who aren't open-minded enough to in the least respect your choice of entertainment. 

 

As an additive on the subject of minors as it does pop up every time there is an ERP discussion, The game is rated T for teen. There is an ESRB content warning essentially absolving SE from responsibility for what players say and do. While I am a full supporter of parents actually parenting their kids instead of letting videogames and TV parent for them, I think it's unfair to think that one who engages in activities such as ERP will not come across a minor at least once in their role-play "career".

 

The truth of the matter is that forum communities dedicated to such discussion are often based on the honor system. Human beings as a whole unfortunately have mastered the art of lying. Many of these websites have a simple question asking if they are over the age of 18 or 21 in some countries. By simply pressing "Yes" you gain access to their registration. There is no sign up fee, nor is there a drivers license check. Even with said information a minor could easily have borrowed mommy or daddy's credit card and license and pretend they are older. Gaming communities simply do not and will never have the resources to keep minors out of the mature circle and to hold them responsible for a parents lack of judgement (ie parenting) is simply unrealistic and unfair to everyone who uses the internet. 

 

/2c

[ArmachiA]

The big stigma, that someone said before, is that when you admit you ERP everyone assumes that's all you do. And from a non-RPers perspective, all RPers are also ERPers. These two things make it so you never, EVER admit you ERP and more serious RPers will do ANYTHING to keep that reputation intact.

 

And it's true. Once you admit you ERP, a lot of other RPers will look down on you a bit, because that stigma is there. That fear is there that everyone on the outside will think that's all we do. We are very careful to guard our reputations.

 

That being said, I don't care in the least if a Roleplayer ERPs. At all. It doesn't make me look down on them just for that. ERP can be, like anything else, explorative for the character and can help them grow. And if the two (Or more ;o) parties are comfortable, who cares? It's their 15 dollars. Whatever.

 

What I do care about are the following:

~ ERPing in a channel everyone can see. Not a MT, but just doing it up in /say. Our first day in FFXIV 1.0 my fiance caught some people ERPing in /say. DAY ONE. Come on. If it gets a little racey, take it to /party.

 

~ Blatant attempts for ERP.... and nothing else. Many, many times (Even in this game) I've had people talk to my character in an attempt to just engage in ERP. I've had people get mad at me personally for not engaging in a romance fast enough or complain I'm OOCing because even though my character is a promiscuous (Loki) I won't ERP at the drop of a hat. Assuming I will ERP because my character has been around the block is a no-no. Making people uncomfortable because you want to get your jollies off is a no-no.

 

And that's really it. The first is just horrifying and the last is really in bad taste. I get some people want to be more erotic with their RP and that's fine, but all the gory details to yourself.

 

Romance can be a wonderful learning experience for your characters - I have done relationship RP in the past and my characters are forging relationships right now in the present. I currently have a character who is navigating through her first experiences with relationships and dating and she talks about love and sex in her journal so it's not like I'm against it, but... you know... keep it classy.

[LiadansWhisper]

@Arma: I liken it to the question, "Do I really want to see someone getting down and dirty on the street?"*

 

The answer to that is a decided, "No!"

 

That's honestly it.  It's just rude, and no one wants to see it.  And if you're (Note: General "You") that big of an exhibitionist, then there are other venues you can use to scratch that metaphorical itch. 

 

*Note: This actually happens during Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I'm from Louisiana, I've been to Mardi Gras.  I don't go to the French Quarter anymore because of stuff like that. :-P

[belderiver]

Ugh, do we really have to keep having this conversation? Everyone has their own opinion about it and most of the people who are engaging in any bickering to begin with aren't listening to the other side anyhow.

[C'kayah Polaali]

Ugh, do we really have to keep having this conversation? Everyone has their own opinion about it and most of the people who are engaging in any bickering to begin with aren't listening to the other side anyhow.

Well, I suppose the alternative is to not talk about the elephant that keeps walking into the room...

[Kieron Lohengrin]

I have a simple personal rule when it comes to writing intimacy: I don't write anything I haven't actually experienced and done irl.

 

Which may be a bit odd, given that for all other situations we write about things like punching robots and riding giant yellow birds, but those are more fantastically escapist as opposed to the more personal escapism of intimate scenes.

 

Realism and plausibility has more weight and is key when it comes to writing physical or emotional intimacy, in tandem with being well-spoken and descriptive. You have the right to avoid genres/experiences you're uncomfortable with and dislike, but you risk limiting yourself as a writer. There's a broad spectrum of life experience out there, from the seedy to the inspirational.

 

Of course, the game's rules apply. Don't be publicly overt with language/actions that can be considered obscene and reported, that's just rude. There's plenty of skin and NPC innuendo on display in the game, so consider those your benchmark limit of what's allowable to describe in public chat.

 

As relations develop and it make story/plot sense for characters to become intimate, naturally, you can write that in the comfort and safe privacy of your own party/FC/LS. It is, like any other genre of RP, a collaborative process and a writing exercise.

 

Sometimes it turns out to be a collaboration between hyur and miqo'te, roegadyn and lalafell, goobbue and goobbue. Let's none of us judge. O:>

[Desmond Aryll]

There is definitely a stigma on ERP. I am new to the whole RP in a game thing. I'd really only done RP on paper (written word only) and it is very apparent that ERP in all it's shapes and forms is frowned upon.

 

I believe being tasteless is bad and what is "bad" is subjective to each person. Personally I think jumping into a thread on a topic you don't care for specifically to say you don't like it is not polite at all. I would consider that more "bad" than R'mah's tongue in cheek post.

 

I use that post as an example since it was the impetus for this thread. Notice that the disagreement on the worthiness if the thread's existence/implications was really between only a handful of people altogether. Last I checked, the thread had over 1600 views in a handful of days. That means that topic itself IS interesting to many people on the RPC.

 

C'kayah's idea of having a reasoned discussion on ERP is valid. To those that don't care for ERP, that's perfectly alright and you do not need validation from those that do. The vice versa is also true.

 

There's no need to worry about RP's "reputation" amongst other players. We all know how eminently mature the internet is. They will find something to rail against and make fun of. Let's not worsen the problem by acting similarly.

 

Respect and tolerance.

[LandStander]

I have a simple personal rule when it comes to writing intimacy: I don't write anything I haven't actually experienced and done irl.

 

 

 

Let's play a game that I like to call "never have I ever" :tonberry:

 

Edit: because I thought I would try to be constructive

 

On another note, I really don't care what people do. When I first started RPing last year in GW2 I joined a dark-themed guild because I was extremely curious (I still am, and I have currently found out how awesome GMing events is) about all sorts of different kinds of RP. Little did I know was that this certain guild was a widely known ERP guild. My second day, I got invited to our HQ for an "ERP party" and I had no idea what that was, and well...I found out lol.

 

There were people in the guild who only logged on to ERP and others who had stories that revolved outside of the setting. The people were really private and kept the chat in party, but some people still came out after them OOC and IC because of what the guild was based around which I thought was lame as most of the people there were nice and even took me in (a complete noob to the RP scene).

 

The funniest part of it all is that I would see some of these people on the forums who would speak out against ERP and yet they would see my characters guild tag and poke me for ERP when I didn't partake in the festivities .

 

If two adults want to talk about hoo-hahs and whatsits and as long as they are being mindful of others, then I am completely fine. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed typing out my character kissing someone (and not like typing out the details of an intimate kiss or anything) or having a romantic moment because I don't want people walking by, reading the chat log, and then rolling their eyes thinking I am trying to ERP in public.

[Darien Cadell]

I actually don't much care what someone is doing behind the computer screen (though, seriously, don't share that info with me, pls!).

 

Liadan, I have something to tell you.

 

Sometimes it turns out to be a collaboration between hyur and miqo'te, roegadyn and lalafell, goobbue and goobbue. Let's none of us judge. O:>

 

I'm judging! Oh gods, how I'm judging! Oh wait, you didn't mean all six at once, did you?

 

I've long been of the 'play the character see where things go' camp, always keep tabs on your RP partners make sure you're not weirding them out. Many a year ago, I used only fade-to-black. Before that, back in the days when I swore I would never do anything so blush-worthy, I got labeled an ERPer anyway and harassed as such despite my protests and the part where I kept my distance from everything even slightly more heavy than PG.

 

So... at some point, I stopped giving a crap. I do whatever I want and generally just try not to offend people. I get embarrassed walking past people making out on park benches in real life, so I try to keep similar situations out of sight of poor other gamers.

 

Back in the last game I played, I decided to do something new and play a straight up, shall we say, courtesan. I had intended her to be kind of a joke, but she ended up being one of the most interesting characters I've played and, curiously, strongly monogamous, which made her very, very bad at her day job.

 

Just to say, ehhh, people who get their panties in a twist about panties should probably take a day off. And people who troll ERPers are just like any other brand of trolls and should be dealt with the same way, however you choose to do so. Not feeding them is the standard advice. We're here to have fun. Try not to stomp on other people's fun (whether that's by avoiding flashing strangers or avoiding throwing rocks at people holding hands, same concept) and get back playing?

[LiadansWhisper]

I actually don't much care what someone is doing behind the computer screen (though, seriously, don't share that info with me, pls!).

 

Liadan, I have something to tell you.

 

 

Just to say, ehhh, people who get their panties in a twist about panties should probably take a day off. And people who troll ERPers are just like any other brand of trolls and should be dealt with the same way, however you choose to do so. Not feeding them is the standard advice. We're here to have fun. Try not to stomp on other people's fun (whether that's by avoiding flashing strangers or avoiding throwing rocks at people holding hands, same concept) and get back playing?

 

:love::love::love::love::love:

[Talathar Khalynn]

Hi, I'm Tala, and I'm a roleplayer. I've been a roleplayer, in various forms, for more than half my life (about 25 years or so now, I think). So yes, I'm old, and perhaps have a little bit of an old fogy's perspective.

 

Part of the "stigma" I think does come from those who only want to "roleplay" solely in order to exchange illicit messages with another human being for the purposes of sexual stimulation and gratification. I think the label "cybering" does fit better for this kind of thing, rather than ERP.

 

There's also a bit of defensiveness for some RPers, who have had to explain to the average gamer what exactly roleplaying means in an MMORPG, and why anyone would bother doing that in a game anyway, aren't there chat rooms for that kind of thing?

 

*sighs at remembered frustration*

 

Anyway...

 

For me personally, I don't ERP, because I prefer not to. Not in my comfort zone. But I also have no problem with those who do ERP in game. I don't judge -- to each their own. And as a writer, I understand that grown-up characters will have grown-up relationships, and there will be grown-up activities that they may engage in. And so long as there are consenting grown-ups on both sides of the screen engaging in these private exchanges, I have no problem with it.

 

I do, however, have a problem with people purposely engaging in sexual "acts" in public, be it with in-game emotes, text emotes, or /say. There are minors playing the game, and they don't need to be exposed to that. Heck, *I* don't need to see it, either.

 

PG-13 in public, please. You wanna go NC-17, please take it to a private venue. Much thanks.

 

(Occasional mistells, however -- those are just entertaining. :PP)

[ArmachiA]

Sometimes I get a little embarrassed typing out my character kissing someone (and not like typing out the details of an intimate kiss or anything) or having a romantic moment because I don't want people walking by, reading the chat log, and then rolling their eyes thinking I am trying to ERP in public.

 

I hate this so much . I know I shouldn't feel bad in my characters RP "boyfriends" kiss them on the lips in public, even if it's a long - not particularly tongue-y one - but I DO. I'm always worried people are going run by and be like "They be ERPin"

 

Armi taught her current beau how to dance off in a corner somewhere and in the scene they had to get close to do that but even PUSHING OUR CHARACTERS TOGETHER for it made me worried we would be seen as ERPING - even though the scene was in /say and it was clearly a dance lesson.

 

Armi's house is in Ul'dah and a lot of the time if someone comes over we'll just to go the Weaver's guild, head into /party and pretend we're in her house. I've taken a few people there and I always wonder if people think Armi is just ERPin with all of them, because EVEN I - when I see two characters together in party clearly saying stuff I can't see - go to the ERP place. "OH well those two be ERPin" *Cackled and walks off*.

 

At the end of the day though, I just can't be arsed to care that much. I obviously like RP or I wouldn't be doing it. I love RP, all of it. The dramatic, the violent, the sexy, the romantic, the hilarious. It's all pretty great.

 

Honestly, I'm way worse OOCly than I am ever ICly. I'm a horrible flirt and a terrible pervert. I feel bad for anyone who talks to me on the regular

[No Longer Exists]

Ladies and Gentlespoons!

 

I love this thread, thank you, C'Kayah!

 

Think about the social dynamics, folks. We've all admitted that sex is a definitive motivator to many goals IRL and that transfers over to RP. RP mimics a "life", after all. Also remember though what happens when sex is put on the social table. Women become sluts. Men become cocks (prancing, I mean.) Just like some have said about worrying that passerbys will say "ZOMG, they're ERPing!" is the same social concern as doing your girlfriend or boyfriend in a public bathroom. It's just gotten out of hand cause we've all had to face it instead of socially avoid it. Your friends can look the other way and politely ignore the disheveled clothing, the afterglow, and the tousled hair.....but what if they didn't and all went "OOOoooooOOOooOOOOoooooOOOoo!" when you two walked out of the loo?

 

And that's what it is, social avoidance. If our inside voices were on the outside IRL, everyone would be terrified of getting near each other out of fear of stigmatism. Imagine, if you will, knowing that a move or choice you make can and will be publicly scrutinized by a forum of your peers. Scary thought unless you're part of the few who stand up and say "I regret nothing". 

 

It's been established that ERP isn't wrong or right, it's a choice. Demonizing it isn't particularly -fair-, but that is also a choice. Advertising for it? That's buckshot full of rocksalt, it may not hit everyone but those it stings are gonna be pretty annoyed. 

 

R'mah insinuated that it was for ERP then tried to take it back, bad form ol' girl. Own it and move on. I openly expressed issue with it when she broadcasted to our FC (at the time, I'm no longer with the harbingers) for miqo'te women to "entertain" a nunh too. To me, it's just crude. That's my opinion though.

 

So is there a fix? Nope. The cat is out of the bag already and she ain't going back in, so to speak. Unless folks let go, respect each other, and just chillax? We'll have this conversation again soon enough.

 

- Black Hat

[ansemaru]

I don't ERP. I haven't ERPed before in my life, and frankly, I'm not terribly interested in it. I know people who do ERP, and I also know people who wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole, and I respect both categories equally. I want to see both sides feeling comfortable and happy with their situation in regards to RP on their server. So following some fairly simple guidelines for privacy as it is allowed by the game should neither be hard nor objectionable to anybody, right?

 

It's straightforward. Keep it out of public spaces/channels. /tell or /party are your friend, unless you've got an IC, ERP-friendly linkshell or free company to do it in. I find it unlikely that you do, but, well. Stranger things yet have to be seen. And if you're going to be getting characters undressed and up close and personal for the sake of it, there are private corners of the game's world where it's less likely you'll be stumbled upon by random adventurers. FC housing, once that is within your FC's price range. Spots like the Hermit's Hovel in Outer La Noscea- hot springs like Camp Bronze Lake, but without being an aetheryte/quest hub. The southern reaches of the Sagolii Desert- unless someone's going there to get a Cactuar Cutting minion, ain't nobody going to bother with that wilderness. Lots of spots and corners of Coerthas where the FATEs don't go. Some of the outer regions of Black Brush- there are buildings off to the side unrelated to the materia questline which are pretty much always empty. The Sanctum of the Twelve, if you're feeling sacrilegious. If you bother to look around the game world, there are many, many secluded spaces where you can do whatever you damn well want to without anybody intruding because they've got a quest or a FATE. Of course, you should still consider keeping it to a private channel, and think about moving if someone "walks in" on you.

 

It's not a question of morality or whether it's the right thing to do, RP-wise. Some people want to get their rocks off. Some people have characters in a relationship and they want to portray that bond. Sometimes it's a bit of both. I get it. The issue at hand is honestly the comfort level of others. Not everyone playing this game is over 18. Not everyone playing this game is comfortable seeing characters engaging in what is, textually, public space. Or hearing them do it. Some people have moral objections to ERP, and while I think they're ridiculous, it might behoove you to conduct your RP somewhere where they can't overhear, so they won't raise a fuss about it. Keep it private, and nobody has anything to complain about. And yeah, it's tacky to advertise for it in a public channel. This includes general RP forums. Be discreet. And don't drag someone into it if they don't have any interest in it.

[ArmachiA]

Spots like the Hermit's Hovel in Outer La Noscea- hot springs like Camp Bronze Lake, but without being an aetheryte/quest hub.

 

Weird you bring this up! Yesterday my guild member (Lum, hi) had an event there about field medic training and after it was over some of us decided to just stick around because the zone was pretty. Eventually, it was just Armi and Armi's boyfriend hanging out inside the building and looking at the books and being cute with each other.

Two people were hanging on the roof and they ask "Be honest are you ERPING?" (Since we were talking in /party)

 

TURNS OUT that's a well known ERP spot and people go to watch other people do that stuff.

 

I was wondering why so many people showed up in groups up two, saw the medic thing and left.

 

I wouldn't go there! Not unless you want to watch all the antics. Which I do, now.

 

Lum is no longer allowed to pick locations. :cactuar: