How to not let Bleed through happen?

[Erik Mynhier]

Yo Kage, try seeking out people you can talk to outside your rp. I find it helped with the shit-tastic year I've had. Just one night, in game even, of just good old fashioned venting can help. And give you the rp break you need, while still being in the security of being in game.

[FreelanceWizard]

Let me second Erik's advice, especially if you tend to bleed through. Being able to just shoot the breeze on other topics, to vent, or to blow stuff up (3xFlare with crits in CM or Praetorium is very cathartic ) in a purely OOC way helps a lot. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Tonight, I'm going to take a break and just be OOC." You can write it as your character just doing some mundane adventuring with some random other adventurers.

 

Also, having an OOC friend network helps in a couple of other ways. One, you can make light of things going on in RP. While that seems kind of counterproductive (the scene gets serious and you crack some jokes about it in an OOC channel?), that helps produce some valuable detachment. I make fun of L'yhta all the time. Two, you have some people you can talk to about non-RP things -- computers, the game, other FFs, SportsBall, or what have you -- and you get to know them in a non-RP way, so any IC drama with their characters doesn't seem so devastating (since you know you're all friends OOC).

[Mae]

Heya.

 

Soooo... I know you and I haven't actually spoken directly to each other, and I think we've only RP'd together once for about... five seconds (I was on an alt), so I don't really know if it's my place to chime in, but I get what you're going through and I have a couple suggestions.

 

Although a lot of RPers won't admit to it, we all become overly emotionally invested in roleplay at some point for some amount of time. Whether or not it's that one minute of rage when someone steps over a line and badly screws with plans, five seconds of actual panic when something bad happens, or something more long term, it happens to us all. The short-term reactions are perfectly normal. The long term reactions can also be normal (especially if you're naturally an emotional person AND you're doing something you greatly enjoy), but if the bleed-through is causing issues where it's affecting you to the point of interfering with your normal life, then it does need to be addressed.

 

You've already realized that this is something that needs to be addressed. This is good, you're already working in the right direction. Identifying what exactly triggers these reactions is the next step, followed by realizing that you need to step back from the situations.

 

This, though, is when it can get tricky. Do you have to step back just a bit, or walk away entirely? Something in the middle? You're going to have to do a lot of trial and error with this. Some days you'll burn yourself and not step back until too late, other days you'll step back and later realize you could've gone further. It's -okay- that this happens. There's no quick fix to this, it's a learning process. Don't get overly discouraged, you CAN do this.

 

You may even want to consider asking those you RP or hang out with often (you said your roommate and some RL friends also play, might want to ask them if they'd be okay with this too because they're able to observe you in the flesh) to gently prod you if they think you're getting too invested. Just a "Hey, why don't you get up and take a five minute break?" from someone could be enough to help.

 

That's all I would suggest for now for the emotional investment and bleed-through. Once you start getting better with identifying the general area where the line is (don't fixate on the exact line, just look for that general area for now), you can start looking for further things to help address this. Don't overload your plate, you'll only put yourself into a panic or a negative-feedback loop every time you have a hiccup or bump.

 

As for the addiction to the game... cold-turkey works for only a small portion of people when it comes to any type of addiction. Just work on cutting back for now. I don't know how you order your daily routine, but perhaps push back your log-in time by an hour, or your cut-off time by the same. If you don't already, log out entirely when it's time for whatever meal. Maybe during the work/school week you only play for two or three hours, and then your weekends/off-days you can play for as long as you want provided you've gotten all your daily errands and chores already done. Doing your best to establish and maintain a schedule for when you allow yourself to game puts control of the situation in your hands -- I would not suggest using any parental controls to artificially limit yourself, as those can create a feeling of resentment.

 

Another thing that can help for both the addiction and the emotional investment is to find some small hobby or craft you can do right at your computer -- something that takes your hands away from your keyboard for a few minutes at a time and your eyes away from the screen for ten seconds every once in a while. And before you say you can't do crafty things, there's plenty of easy-peasy little things to cut your teeth on. Any religious/spiritual meanings aside, I remember making these in kindergarten-- two popsicle sticks, a dab of glue, and some yarn and you're good to go. I make flowers like this myself; felt, needle, embroidery thread, and a pair of scissors, and as long as you're dexterous enough to not cut yourself with the scissors it's almost fool-proof. Or... take a string of lights, buy some bulk ping-pong balls, poke holes in them, and make some of these. Halloween's coming, look up easy tutorials for decorating your apartment (and do this for any holiday/season). Again, stuff that takes your hands away from the keyboard, and breaks your attention from the screen for a few seconds... and you can invest more time/concentration into if you need a more lasting distraction.

 

I hope some of this helps, or at least gives you an idea of what direction to start moving in. Whatever you decide to do, it's going to be a frustrating process. You'll hit bumps and have setbacks, but you can do this.