Tear apart my wiki, also add 1 PC rumour to mine for 1 free PC rumour on yours!

[Seriphyn]

Please move if this is the wrong subforum!

 

http://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Kale_Aideron

 

I've always felt that constructing characters are no good if no one else appreciates them, if they're purely a vessel for the creator's indulgence. So, on that, I present my wiki page to you for your consideration. My first issue is repetition. I've tried to throw in a lot of 'buzz words' that I feel a Kale's main traits, but I can't help feel there's some extraneous sections that just try to hammer in the same crap over and over again. Where are they? What can be removed, and/or merged?

 

The second thing is his alignment, Lawful Neutral vs Lawful Good. The intention is LN, not LG, and a couple have said already the article makes him sound LG. It might be so narrow that by this point it would be a matter of personal discretion, but my interpretation of LG is that it is adherence to a transcendent code over LN's adherence to a societal code. Curious to thoughts on that.

 

Anyway, I like to think it's clear the stylistic intentions I'm going for with that article. Please point out anything you'd like to comment on and make suggestions, I'd appreciate it! Be "brutally constructive"!

 

Finally, presuming our characters have met, if you add a rumour under Player-Character rumours, I'll be sure to add one to your profile as well!!

[Berrod Armstrong]

Added a rumor from that time Berrod went against Kale at the Grindstone!

[Antain]

There ya go! The pretty boy offers insight

[Jancis]

There ya go! The pretty boy offers insight

 

Lord Vaughn has a beauty inside as much as outside. :cry: What a great rumor.

[Berrod Armstrong]

I've read through it a couple times and one thing jumps out at me:

 

"His belligerence towards those he sees as hostile to the Sultanate's way of life is rooted in nothing more than powerful convictions and a stubborn loyalty to his worldview. "

 

 

I know Lord Lolorito is one of the Monetarists, and they (however underhandedly) are somewhat hostile to the Sultanate/Royalists. Is it that his conviction and world view blinds him to this? Is there some other ~SPOILERY~ motivation behind his place with Lord Lolorito?

 

I get the feeling that I've missed something, so let me know if I have!

[Val]

Are you SURE you want a Val rumor on your wiki?

[Seriphyn]

I've read through it a couple times and one thing jumps out at me:

 

"His belligerence towards those he sees as hostile to the Sultanate's way of life is rooted in nothing more than powerful convictions and a stubborn loyalty to his worldview. "

 

 

I know Lord Lolorito is one of the Monetarists, and they (however underhandedly) are somewhat hostile to the Sultanate/Royalists. Is it that his conviction and world view blinds him to this? Is there some other ~SPOILERY~ motivation behind his place with Lord Lolorito?

 

I get the feeling that I've missed something, so let me know if I have!

 

In this context the use of the word Sultanate is to refer to the nation as a whole, not a particular faction! But I may change that to "city-state" to prevent any confusion. Under rumors, and with the idea that he was a Flame, it is meant to be implied his loyalty isn't faction based. 

 

Are you SURE you want a Val rumor on your wiki?

 

Er, I have no idea ^^ I know I couldn't add one for your char though! 

 

On phone atm, will add rumours for folks after work.

[Berrod Armstrong]

I've read through it a couple times and one thing jumps out at me:

 

"His belligerence towards those he sees as hostile to the Sultanate's way of life is rooted in nothing more than powerful convictions and a stubborn loyalty to his worldview. "

 

 

I know Lord Lolorito is one of the Monetarists, and they (however underhandedly) are somewhat hostile to the Sultanate/Royalists. Is it that his conviction and world view blinds him to this? Is there some other ~SPOILERY~ motivation behind his place with Lord Lolorito?

 

I get the feeling that I've missed something, so let me know if I have!

 

In this context the use of the word Sultanate is to refer to the nation as a whole, not a particular faction! But I may change that to "city-state" to prevent any confusion. Under rumors, and with the idea that he was a Flame, it is meant to be implied his loyalty isn't faction based. 

 

Are you SURE you want a Val rumor on your wiki?

 

Er, I have no idea ^^ I know I couldn't add one for your char though! 

 

On phone atm, will add rumours for folks after work.

Excellent!

 

You actually made me look over Berry's wiki as well. Ugh. Needs updating. 

 

Also, I keep misreading the title of this thread as 'tear apart my winky' and I belly-laugh every time, I swear.

[Warren Castille]

 

 

Also, I keep misreading the title of this thread as 'tear apart my winky' and I belly-laugh every time, I swear.

 

RIP Thread. You had so much potential.