Zhavi

Ahaha, I have some characters like that. It's kind of fun in its own way to have a character you actively hope gets some comeuppance later. Hell, even the really pathetic ones can be fun if you're playing with a strong opposing character.

Hummm, I think my reactions tend to be more muted then the people who have posted here. Back when I first started rping as a teenager, the community I was in had ton of ooc/ic mixups (I'm talking some weird stalking stuff, ooc insults, people actively disliking each other because of stuff their characters had done, people getting jealous oocly when ic romantic partners talked to others oocly etc). While I stayed out of it for the most part, it affected people I knew and my rp with them, leading me to wall myself off from . . .I don't know, close emotional ties with my characters? So while I feel bad (kinda, okay, I'm a bit of a sadist when it comes to my characters) when stuff goes poorly for them, I tend to view it more from a plotting angle (where can we go from here?) then an emotional connection. I think I tend to get more in the way of adrenaline rushes during rp then anything else, especially when it's a make-it-or-break-it moment (or when a longterm plot reaches its climax, OHMAN that feeling is amazing and euphoric). So, I mean, in that sense if things start getting to the point where they are negatively affecting you irl, I think it's possible to learn how to dampen that reaction or separate yourself from it. It can be a dangerous thing. Of course, I am admittedly biased when it comes to feeling as your character does due to me having dealt with the very worst a rp community has to offer.

Zhi scratched along her jawline with one finger, the eagerness dimming a little. "Mebbe? I'll try me best, sir!" She felt so alive. "What we doin' now, then?" Excitement colored her voice and swam in her eyes. Her ears pricked forward, and her tail swept back and forth behind her.

Balmung and Gilgamesh are the unofficial rp servers, but don't worry too much about the "full" thing. Usually if you wait a day or two it'll go away and you can create a new character!

Her tail flinched. It was a small movement, hidden behind her sudden relief and enthusiasm. "That it? Fer true? Huh, well I ain't got 'is name, but," she couldn't sell out her informant, "after I heard tell there was some wi' dirty pasts at th'Gate, I'd start gamin' th'dicers when I was swingin' 'round th'bars. Was some ol' sailor wi' a face full of hair what stank o' spiced meat oo gave me yer name, 'Lalataru,' he says. So I starts askin' if there was a Lalataru up at th'Gate, and sure as hooks ye are. That good? I can take ye t'the bar I was at, if't pleases ye." Overeagerness to please shone in her eyes. She took a step forward. Her heart was hammering in her chest, in her ears: she had to force herself to breathe. Oh, but smiles for Lalataru. All smiles.

Think it depends on the people watching you. I'd say if it makes you happy while you're doing stuff, then do it. You might get some rp out of it, so I say go for it. Also, I wouldn't think you're dumb -- seeing someone rping by themselves might actually intrigue me into trying to rp with them, as that way I'd know that they probably weren't in the middle of something else.

Zhi let out a gasp of breath, half relieved sigh and half laugh. Her knees bent a little, and she sagged. Somehow, she remained upright. "Anythin', anythin'! Name it!"

"Whatever ye can teach me." Zhi faced Lolotaru with her ears back and her tail rigid behind her -- but there was determination on her face and in her voice.

It took everything she had not to back away. They'd been speaking earlier. He'd requested this meeting. No one was around. It was a long drop off the bridge. She wouldn't survive if she was to have an accidental fall. "I want ta be someone. I want ta be looked at like I'm more'n gutter trash. Anyone lookin' at me, they sees --" She shrugged. "But th'Gate. . .'sdifferent, there. Think jes anyone'd take me? Nah, I'm gutterborn, but -- but if't was someone who understood, then. . ." She looked at Lalataru. She tried to meet his eyes. She wanted to see his intent. "I want ta learn."

Son of a. . .. He was playing that game, was he? "Y-ye wanted t'speak wi'me. . .sir?"

Welcome! People are super friendly here, so don't be afraid to ask questions or send tells/pms to people you are interested in rping with. I hope you enjoy the experience of your first mmo, and wish you lots of great rp!

That time of night, weren't too many people hanging about. Zhi had stopped on the stone platform between the two bridges that connected the Wench to the Hyaline, and so she'd ample room to see who was coming and from what direction. Gazing out at the ocean as she was, however, she had to keep to checking with her peripheral vision, which wasn't exactly ideal. She'd sneak glances left and right on occasion, keeping in form with a nervous streetrat, but she took care to not show the paranoia that would not apply to someone like Joz. So, it wasn't until Ben had crossed the first bridge that Zhi reacted to his presence. She squeaked, and jumped back a little, overbalanced and caught herself before she could fall. She looked around hastily, both to see who'd seen her misstep and to see where the carbuncle had come from. "Umm," she said, and turned in place. Hesitantly, she called out, "Lolotaru. . .sir?"

Zhavi didn't particularly like chocobos. They were fine from afar, but close up they were. . .intimidating. It wasn't that she wasn't used to people being larger than her, but that was just it -- chocobos were not people. They were unpredictable, they smelled (rich, coming from her), and they left their shit everywhere. So, Zhi approached Gaidal from the direction opposite the chocobo. She strode with purpose, not taking any measures to hide her presence or that she approached him; the only sign that she was anything other than some grunt in the 'yard was the grimace the sun always pulled from her. And morning was, somehow, the worst time of the day. Even worse than high afternoon. Hours stretched ahead of them that would be filled with sunlight and heat, and Zhi didn't care for either. Shouldn't pirates have a lazier schedule? Ugh. "Cap'n Gaidal," she said as she approached, lifting her hand in greeting. She wasn't exactly a striking figure: her form was slight (scrawny, actually), and her skin showed the weathering of someone who has spent time in the streets. Scabs, scars and messy, wind-tangled hair were a norm for Zhi, and she bore them with the hard resolution of one who has accepted her status in life. Her expression was pleasant in a way, the kind that claimed neither friendship nor antagonism. "If ye've time, I've news that might catch yer fancy, seein' as it has bearin' on yer. . .reputation in th'shite side o'town."

Hmm, I think it depends on the person playing. I'm certainly very err. . .well, let's just say that I have several characters who I would absolutely loathe if I ever met them in person, who do things I wouldn't even contemplate. Yet I love playing them, because I feel it's challenging for me to do so, and I love making such characters believable enough that other players are conflicted over, love to hate, or love in spite of their behaviors. It's the same with books -- I tend to fall in love with characters who I would, in all likelihood, not be able to stand if they existed and I met them. Of course, everyone has different levels of what makes rp fun. I once had a person tell me that I shouldn't play a certain character (she's definitely at the edge of my comfort zone, though I find her interesting to write) because it was morally wrong to do so -- but to each their own, says I!

Hey there! Heheh, you should definitely do up a wiki entry for your character, her background is interesting (okay, yeah, I have a big weakness for merchant-type characters). I hear you on the improving, though English is my first language my foray into rp began as a means to keep myself writing, and to be around people whose writing I think is better than my own (osmosis, right?). And while you're in the wiki, don't be afraid to look around at all the other characters and let people know when you find their character to be interesting! Happy rping to you.

Speaking as someone who's been rping for a long time as a primary hobby, I've come to the conclusion that almost no one is going to reach out to you to get the rp going. It's likely different for some people, but I have never been the one who gets asked to rp on a regular basis. Even when my characters are well connected or have established relationships with other characters, it's usually me who is the initiator. Why is that? I don't have a clue. Sometimes I've asked my regular rp partners if my writing or ideas are shit or something and I just haven't realized it, but when I'm not having performance anxiety I think it just boils down to people being into their own things or, in some cases, a sort of unwillingness -- for whatever reason! -- to be the initiator. And that's why I say to look at the characters you want to rp with. When you try to engage someone in rp with you, see if you can't tweak the circumstances so that it will affect both characters. For example, in my thread with Goodfellow we worked it out so the rp will largely focus on the strange book he carries. My character is focused on money and connections. Both characters will have skin in the game. Most of the interaction will be forced -- my character is the one who needs the connection for one of her jobs -- but it will personally affect both characters. It's not just about what the player is interested in -- you need to make sure it hooks the character, too. And, sometimes, if we're being brutally honest, people won't be interested if they don't know you and don't see how the characters are going to interact. That's why it is imperative that you bring several ideas to the table. People like feeling like they have choices, and that you've invested thought into it. As Koninbeor said, most people -- unless they are in need of rp -- will not look at the wiki. So don't expect people to look at yours or pull plot ideas from yours. You be the one to do that. Will it feel a bit unfair sometimes? Yeah, sure, maybe sometimes because we're all human, but if you want the rp you gotta go out and wrestle that sucker down. But let me put my money where my mouth is. Pretending for a moment that our characters are based in the same area, and that our characters have common interests -- Hey there! So I was looking through the wiki and I stumbled across your character. I really liked how resourceful he is, and thought it could be super interesting if maybe he has a run-in with my character. Mine is a bit more socially aggressive than yours, so that could help get them started. If you're interested I have some ideas I'd love to toss around with you. Please let me know if you are or aren't interested! ^- that's it. Simple, to the point. I've shown that I've read about your character, that I liked what I read, and that I want to collaborate with you. Most people aren't going to turn their noses up to that. And if timezones/availability is an issue, work out a closed thread on the forum!

Faced with Mujuuk, Zhi's ears pricked forward and the smile returned with an extra heaping of slyness. "Ain't me first dance," she said, voice smooth as silk. She bent forward a little at the waist, her eyes holding a challenge curtailed by Clove clearing his throat. Zhi straightened. "I understand. I ain't gonna be spillin' no one's secrets, 'less one o' you worthy ones tells me to." "Dax," Clove said. But she wasn't looking at him, she was looking at Mujuuk. "I'll follow yer orders, but he ain't earned me respect." Or, the sideways glance to Clove said, her fear. "Push him, and I'll push you." Clove's voice was pleasant enough, but the threat was heavy in his words. Zhi's ears flickered sideways in uncertainty, but her bravado held. "Tell me what ye need done, Master Mujuuk, an' I'll see it done." His name was still mangled, but the challenge had been guttered. That she was confident was present in the way she stood, though one of her ears still pointed in Clove's direction.

Was he dense? Maybe the problem was that he was too sharp. It was entirely possible he'd seen through her act -- either way, he'd not responded the way she'd hoped, and now she was stuck playing a part that blushed and stammered like some twit of a girl. Disgusting. "A-aye," she responded, following him out. They parted ways. It was hard, even for Zhi, to pretend that she didn't feel the relief come pouring out of her gut. Alive. She was alive. She tried to cloak it in irritation that things hadn't gone her way, but even that hadn't worked. Nald'thal was tipping his scales, she was sure, but she couldn't figure out which way. Gods knew that meant bad things for her, always had in the past. It was enough of a deterrent that -- after having made sure she wasn't being followed -- she considered dumping the job entirely as she went into the dilapidated inn she was temporarily staying at to change her clothes. Yeah, so she was angry at the lalafel. She'd been taken for a ride, had underestimated the little runt, had been trapped and made to look the part of a fool. Logic dictated that she should take a step back and evaluate the situation to make sure she wasn't making a piss-poor mistake. Her hands were shaking as she pressed them flat to the sole, shitty table in the cramped room. "Come on," she whispered. She didn't want to take a step back. Even though she knew that screwing up with the wrong sort of people meant death, she didn't want to let it go. The fear, the uncertainty, the rush of adrenaline -- they were as good as some highs, good as getting piss drunk with dice in her hands and coin on the table. She slammed the table with both hands, and caught up the bottle of swill she'd bought the day before. Three gulps later she was out the door, hat on her head and back to the threadbare clothing that was her trademark. She had some time to kill before she went back to teach the little runt not to mess with her. Nald'thal be damned, she would tip the blimming scales herself, rot on him if he thought to screw with her. Thirty minutes later she had her regular informant, Brindle, up by the ear. "It's ruttin' past afternoon, y'churl, what y'doin' sleepin'? I don't keep ye in coin t'be sleepin'." "Ow, ow ow! Lemme go, lemmego, ya slattern!" Zhi let him go. She grinned. "What, that all ye got?" He glared back. Mute defiance, his latest brattish scheme to get under her skin. How cute. She chuckled. "New job fer ya, if yer not too cockered fer't." His expression shifted: slight, but enough. She kept talking. "I need ya ta run some questions 'bout Lolotaru Lalataru. Wi'care. Don't go bawlin' it out t'the topmast else I'll have yer tongue fer true this time." "I don't never go bawlin' like a scrag." Sullen, but not unwilling. Zhi ruffled his hair, and he leaned back from her as if she'd just shown signs of some plague. Her grin widened. "I need some base rumors on 'im, his reputation." "Didn't that get sorted?" "I need it fresh." "Yeah?" Brindle's voice had a distinct sneer in it; he knew well enough what it meant to go back to ground on someone. She kicked him before he could start making insinuations about her lack of skills, and they parted with a few choice insults as they always did. The remaining time she spent dicing at one of her favorite haunts, plying her fellow players (most known to her) with cheap alcohol and careful questions. Gaming for her was always done with a purpose, and always carried with it expectations for something. Sometimes coin, sometimes information, sometimes illicit substances. Never for no reason, never strictly for fun. Once the time got closer she went back and changed into the same clothes Lalataru had seen her in earlier, adjusted her bearing to suit some dumb scrag with naive hopes, and went to the indicated bridge a whole hour before the eleventh bell was supposed to ring. Seemed about right, with how desperate she played earlier. She looked out over the water, and settled in to waiting.

When it comes to people who prefer spontaneous rp, the key is to have an idea of what to do in your head. Have a few ideas in mind of things that can happen during the rp and then have it happen once you start rping. If you're in game, I think it's best to try to set something up in the moment. Worst case scenario, they're busy or don't want to -- you've shown your interest and hopefully have made a good impression. Chances are if you try again you might be able to make something work. Generally I go with a three strike rule. If I try to rp with someone on three separate occasions and they're always busy and don't want to work out a time, then I move on to someone else. Otherwise, I think sometimes that if you find a great character that you want to play with, pm the player on these forums (usually if they're on the forums they're not in the middle of something and will be able to properly talk to you) and start out with telling them you would like to rp with them and that you had some ideas about when/where your characters might meet, etc. If they're interested in plotting then they'll ask about your ideas, if not then you can just try to arrange the rp itself and set something into motion once you start rping. As I told someone else, sometimes when you get nervous it's good to think of it as a way of brightening someone else's day. It's always flattering to have someone pick you, specifically, out of all the numerous other people they could have picked. Be genuine and polite, show enthusiasm. Even if nothing works out, at the least you will have paid them a compliment and hopefully made them feel good -- can't go wrong there. And, well, it's okay if things don't work out. Try not to look at it in a negative light (easier said then done sometimes, I know). I know I've been turned down and had to turn people down due to a finicky schedule or things overlapping or whatnot -- it happens and it does not in any way reflect badly on you!

For a moment, there was shock. Then her expression crumpled. Zhi didn't have much time to think. It wouldn't make sense in the situation if she stared at her feet for the next several minutes -- but she had to think. Because, it was becoming obvious, she'd screwed up. It was true that she'd done some deep digging to find out what she had about Lalataru, but she'd thought that was due to the lack of interest in him as a potential player now. She'd not come across any evidence that he'd tried to squash the rumors; if anything she thought he'd laugh her off, perhaps offer her some advice, and then she could move on from there. She should have caught it earlier, should have held on to her hard-won knowledge -- should have rutting started up the waterworks to feel him out. Instead, she'd taken a risk before she should have, and now look at where they were. Obvious to anyone with eyes that the reason she'd had to dig so deep wasn't because he'd fallen out of the loop. There was something else to it, and it spelled out "not good" to her situation. Time was up. Her priority had to shift to getting out alive. "I-it's jes somethin' I heard when I was hidin' out after a. . .after I nipped coin off a mark, th-that not all them who worked at th'Gate were clean." She concentrated on her memories, picking one that continually scoured her with shame. She needed to blush, and she needed it fast. "So I started -- I started askin' questions, cuz I t-thought -- I wanted to know so I -- I hadda --" She broke off, freezing in place. Focus. Her tail curled around her leg, and she felt the beginning prickle of a flush up her neck and cheeks. Rather than look at the ground, she looked away. She clenched her teeth for a moment, her fingers digging into her arms as she resumed hugging herself. "I d-don't wanna talk 'bout it. I-if I heard wrong --" her cheeks got hotter. "I-I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Her voice had gone a little higher, and it quavered.

"O-oh." She looked at him, and then back down at the ground. Her fingers wormed around themselves; she was fidgeting. Frustration and confusion mixed poorly in her expression, leaving her with the sort of look that could have been unattractive even on someone who was beautiful. "It's jes -- it's said you wasn't like th'others. I been -- I don't want t'turn out like me ma, but . . . no one'll have me, not fer real work. But I thought that if, if y'know, if ye was somethin' like me, ye'd understand. C-cuz I don't want t'be nothin' no more. I wants ta be somethin'. Like you." She looked up, then, and though her eyes wavered still it was Lalataru they settled on. "I - I wants t'be taught by you. If ye'll have me. Please." Judging by the way her lips twisted, she was aware of how lame she sounded, how desperate, how pathetic. But though she looked like she wanted to run and hide, she stood. She was shaking, but she didn't run away.

I think a lot of the time the reason rp doesn't turn into long-term connections is because the characters haven't connected. For many characters, unless you put external pressure on them to be around certain other characters, they're not going to naturally come together. They need to be able to have a good reason to hang around a stranger and get to know them better -- it's the same way in real life. Most of the interactions I have with strangers don't go anywhere. I have no desire to get to know the girl I had a ten minute conversation with any better. Granted, sometimes spontaneous rp turns into something spectacular, but far more often than not no connection is made. This is why I encourage people to talk to players oocly. One more thing you can do is either discuss some ideas, or have some in your own mind to push circumstantial/spontaneous meetings into the territory of a memorable encounter. It's why I try to always have some sort of plot in mind for rp, even if it's something simple. Like, heck, once upon a time I set up a scene where a group of street kids were beating up a stray dog, and my character was getting ready to beat up the ringleader, because it was something my character would do, and because I knew the character I was playing with wouldn't be able to walk by. In the end, the morality of both characters was challenged, and though they were uneasy around each other, it eventually lead to more conversations and more butting into each other's business. So, you know, look around at others' characters, find one that would jive well with yours, talk to the player. Give the characters something to work towards/against either for a one-off rp or that can turn into a multi-encounter thing. Keep pushing until they form a connection.

"I can't. . ." Zhavi's voice was more than a little strangled, and not much more than a whisper. "I don't understand but -- but I'll work hard for ye! I'll learn, aye? I can learn. I can do that much." Twelve save her from scholars and arcanists. Tip the scales, Nald'thal. . .towards me this time. Zhi almost didn't answer Lalataru's second question. It seemed out of place, and she wondered if she shouldn't just focus on her desperate begging, but she wasn't so sure that ignoring any of his words would be the right direction. She was wary of him, backed up against a wall as she was, and fear was only one short step away. Couldn't give in to fear. If she did that. . . "W-what d'ye mean, upstairs?"

If you're planning on playing together, go for classes that will make it easier to run the dungeons together. Don't both play healers or tanks, and make sure you pick classes that start in the same area. Otherwise it shouldn't really matter. Have fun! Questing with friends/loved ones is always a blast, and as the others have said Gilgamesh or Balmung would both suit your needs.

Sometimes it is a regional thing. I have a friend from Sydney to whom it's a casual insult, often used in a friendly sort of context. I have a couple other friends from near Melbourne who don't. (most of the people I know in the Americas don't really use it at all, though some from the british isles do) It's the same way I use some swear words irreverently, and yet won't utter others and don't care to hear them. I've likewise seen some authors use all sorts of swear words, depending on their characters and what sort of attitude they want to convey. I've also seen authors who go for a gentler approach, using things we'd consider mild (or don't consider swear words at all) and amping up their meaning in their setting. My point is this: different people have different comfort levels about different things. While I tend towards (and encourage) people to be respectful of the people around them (in an ooc sense), I also tend to believe that when it comes to building a character, sometimes they will say and do things that I, on an ooc level, find absolutely repugnant (I've even written things that I still feel squeamish about a year or two later). If the player feels it's necessary to their character, well, okay, I won't argue with them about it so long as it's an ic thing and not leaking over from ooc (using a rp character as a platform to air controversial opinions/political agendas makes me cringe). That's just how I deal with things. It's okay to find people or characters offensive, and if you don't like the writing because of that, that's okay too. RP is supposed to be fun. If you're feeling uncomfortable, then you have every right to ignore the heck out of whoever it is should they feel their character's behavior is necessary (and judging from the reply, while it does sound rude, this player does). It's not about being too thin skinned or whatever, really. Generally, everyone has a line that they won't cross, and I do think it's rude to oocly insult someone just because they made a request for something to stop or be done less, but whatever. Even so, I don't believe that writers have an obligation to be non-offensive; even if I find it distasteful, that's their thing. But, you know, opinions and stuff. As for your situation, there's no easy solution. Probably what I would do if something was getting to me (f-g is the one I really hate hearing left and right) is /blist and then ask those I'm familiar with who frequent the area to let me know if there's some sort of interactive situation going on that I need to respond to. The other option is just to grit your teeth and bear it if the person is dead set on using the word.