Thoughts about intersex (NSFW-ish discussion)

[Lydia Lightfoot]

Also, this is just a pet peeve but I loathe the term "mate", you're not an animal.

 

I know, right? We're obviously rocks. Or maybe some sort of lichen.

[Lost River]

As others have said and as I will agree; play what you want to, honestly. Male, Female, Intersexed; what have you. But, remember with how things are, do not make it your sole defining trait, have it color your role-play. Make it exhilarating, make it terrifying, make it unique and something you can portray as organically as you can. You don't have to be a snowflake nor do you have to be one of everyone else. If you can find an appropriate approach to it and branch outward, have fun playing it.

 

Role-playing is a mixture of fun and challenges in its own right, find that niche and expand your experience. Its how actors become better with their craft, so why not with your own? 

 

Most importantly though, have fun with it. If the character is not working for you, there is nothing against re-working the character; if it is, well, there is that 20 dollar change (Name/Fantasia) for you to work with a blank slate on a role-playing stand-point.

 

 

But most importantly, have fun.

[Kage]

To be quite honest, most of my experience with term Intersex came after I was introduced to a manga that is referred to as Ai-Esu for IS. [iS: Otoko Demo Onna Demo Nai Sei ]

 

I do think that there is some care that needs to be taken when you broach subjects such as this. I think others have talked enough about making sure it is not the sole trait or defining part of your character though it could be something major so I will try to think about the aspect of RPing it in FFXIV.

 

For Eorzea versus the real world there are some issues that i think shold be considered. How does Eorzea view gender? Do they even have name and sex registries? Is there a requirement to decide gender based on sexual organs at birth? For a world like Eorzea, would people care about it?

 

A lot of issues now is that I think that a lot of people don't discuss, learn or educate on the matter. Sex vs gender. So it gets into an issue with people when you are growing up possibly. Your ID says this but you identify, want to be understood as, and want to be seen as ____. One of the main characters in the manga I referred to had the issue where he was born with both testicles and ovaries. His parents wanted to see how he grew up and didnt assign him a gender but in order to save his life as an infant his testicles were removed. He lives and grows up as a male but is forced into a female role by his school when he hits puberty and his beasts form up and he starts to menstruate. However he still identifies aND wants to be seen as male though he struggles with things because he is still growing up to learn who he is.

 

But would an Eorzean really run into these matters? Is your character still coming to terms with learning who they are? Why would it make an impact in RP or why would it become a "staple"? Are birth certificates a thing in Eorzea? Is gender or sex something that is recorded at birth that follows one around to identify a person? How far can the magic of the world go? Would it allow for easy sexual change to fit gender? Is it harder? Is there a difference?

[LadyRochester]

I don't know if someone said this before, but here goes:

 

While an intersex character could be interesting to roleplay due to their constant emotional battles, you must be made aware of the fact that due to the fetishization of hermaphrodites, people might approach your character for the wrong reasons. 

 

Additionally, making a character that constantly deals with such inner emotional battles can be difficult to rp, as either:

 

a) When you RP, your character is too emotionally vulnerable to really talk to anyone

b) If your character DOES talk about their emotions, especially about such a big insecurity as this, people might be rubbed the wrong way and may interpret it as attention-seeking.

 

I did the former, where my character was going through an emotional turmoil (Still is) and due to this, she became withdrawn and distant, something that for others might become challenging to interact with when they seek a deeper connection with your character.

 

You also have to be careful with not making your character one-dimensional, as in, don't make the fact they have different genitals ALL there is to them, when you constantly bring it up IC or OOC, people start thinking that there's not much to your character except the fact they have boobs and a penis.

 

That said, my point is: Yes, I would definitely say an intersex character would be accepted by the community (I wouldn't mind rping with one either) But you have to have an extremely careful approach.

[Ignacius]

I don't know if it's worth making a topic about... hear me out.

 

Gender and gender identity issues can be RP issues, but the problem is how they're made to be issues.  The fact is that, played right, 99% of characters won't even KNOW.  We're around transex people all the time; you can't pick them out of a crowd.  So, at most, it's going to be known by a short handful of people, and most of those won't honestly care any more than any of us do in real life.  Even if I know that my cousin, for example, has any other gender or sexual identity issues, it's not like it affects me or my relationship with them in any way.  About the only person who finding out about their gender might be something of what I'd call a dramatic story element might be my wife.

 

So, played right, it's rarely an external story element unless your character is consistently invited to weekly orgies, goes to prison, or has a severe cottonseed allergy and can't wear clothes.

 

The reason this thread might be important is because there's a way it could become a major external story element, and man is that the wrong way to play that angle.  Being actually transgender is a daily struggle of dealing with ignorance and a world that doesn't acknowledge any grey area between heterosexual males and females, but in FFXIV?  We don't have bathrooms in-game to even be gender-specific.  We don't have to worry about actual undergarment support.  Altering one's appearance isn't any more than a fantasia potion away.

 

So to make it an issue worth the mileage of actually putting in the development time on that single trait, you have to make your gender a major external issue.  That generally entails some VERY gratuitous and aggravating RP on your part to make people care about your genitalia in a game that, mechanically and figuratively, does not care an awful lot about your genitalia.

 

So.... I guess the summation of my advice here is to do it if you want, but the best way to play it is to NOT make it a focal point of your RP.  The only ways to make it a major issue to more than a few people are going to be the kind of RP some of us avoid like ebola.

[CrimsonMars]

Woah, I really didn't intend to make this into a debt. I just ask how one might implement a dual-sex female (I don't know what other term I should use other than futanari) into a serious rp, though in retrospect, it also seems gimmicky tbh. I also thought it might make other players awkward and uncomfortable regardless, should they IC/OOC find out. Plus, if I am doing it for ERP, I'd just find people for it (even though it won't be canon).

 

We're all adults here (at least I hope). I appropriate it if you take the arguments into PMs if you have too. ^^;

[Ignacius]

I don't think there's an awful lot of debate about the solution.  Just, technically speaking, it's probably not going to generate the mileage you want.  You can play whatever you want and there's nothing wrong with having a character be intergender or intersex, but RP being a social activity and genitalia not being traditionally on display for all to see in good company, it's not likely to be a "big deal" for many other characters.  We're talking about a lot of forethought for a one, maybe two, person payoff.

[Mercer]

Woah, I really didn't intend to make this into a debt. I just ask how one might implement a dual-sex female (I don't know what other term I should use other than futanari) into a serious rp, though in retrospect, it also seems gimmicky tbh. I also thought it might make other players awkward and uncomfortable regardless, should they IC/OOC find out. Plus, if I am doing it for ERP, I'd just find people for it (even though it won't be canon).

 

We're all adults here (at least I hope). I appropriate it if you take the arguments into PMs if you have too. ^^;

 

Play what you want, enjoy the character however way you want and be as discreet about it as any rational person should. You'll be fine.

[Warren Castille]

Concept could be handled gracefully and maturely and make for a compelling storyline that tackles challenging issues.

 

Conversely, the army of thirsty dickgirls in Ul'dah might blot out your signal with their noise.

[Diskwrite]

Well, the answer to making this "serious RP," as you put it- I believe that lies in making this a character who happens to be intersex. You can't think of them being intersex as the center of who they are or how you play them. It's just another part of who they are, like the color of their hair or the shape of their eyes.

 

So my first suggestion is, relax about it. Let this just be an incidental fact about them rather than the center of how you think about it.

 

My second is to do your research.

 

First, look into how intersex tends to actually work in the real world. Intersex people do not tend to have both a full-sized penis and vagina. (It happens but it's pretty rare.)

 

Second, read what intersex people say about their own lives and how they prefer to be talked about, including what language they'd prefer to be used. (Remember that intersex people are not a monolith, and there will probably be disagreements amongst that community!)

 

Third, familiarize yourself with the non-cisgendered community in general- again, the language they use, how they talk about their own lives, what they say about things.

 

All this is very important to approaching this sort of thing respectfully, and I don't suggest cutting corners.

 

I know it seems daunting, so I'd start with Googling some 101 articles to give yourself a good place to start. I'd give you some recommendations, but I'm at work so I can't get at that stuff.

 

Don't hesitate at playing this sort of character because some people treat it like a fetish- as long as you aren't fetishizing it, then don't worry about it. Just because someone might assume it's an ERP character based on the fact that your character is intersex... well, they'd be in the wrong.

 

But if you decide to do it, I strongly advise doing whatever you can to do it respectfully. I see this as a responsibility, not an option, when it comes to this sort of thing. Bad representations of already sorely underrepresented group can be really harmful, so this is important!

 

Don't let it discourage you. I just want you to fully embrace the responsibility you're taking on if you do this. :3

[Hammersmith]

Concept could be handled gracefully and maturely and make for a compelling storyline that tackles challenging issues.

 

Conversely, the army of thirsty dickgirls in Ul'dah might blot out your signal with their noise.

 

 

Yeah.  This is not the platform for respectful representation or understanding.  Much less education.

 

I'd firmly suggest -not- going to exploring this concept here in this context in this game with this crowd surrounding it.