Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers?

[Reibees]

Hey everyone... u w u)/ 

I developed a paranoia after years of playing different MMOs to where I am just flat out intimidated to walkup and RP, in both WoW and Tera I would be outright ignored or revoked by blatant Rpers, even if they weren't doing a private RP/already RPing. 

 

They'd opt to ignore my posts even if they were just sitting there, but would RP with what I assume to be friends as they walked up after. It makes me wonder if maybe my posts are just too long, or if my style doesn't work well with other MMO rpers. (I came from forum RP so my posts can get a bit wordy, and are written past-tense opposed to pre-tense like most MMO rpers write.... 'sighed' instead of 'sighs'... )

 

This makes me incredibly terrified to try and initiate RP anymore, so I often RP with myself in cities and have my ocs do their own thing, without really 'interacting' with others, but this doesn't usually lead to anyone RPing with me.

 

How do I go about meeting new RPers like this??  I don't want to join a RP guild, as they don't suit my characters. Is there a way to kind of get over this fear, or do I just have to kind of sit in the tavern and hope for the best?

 

Sorry if this seems like a weird question or something, I'm just really kinda stuck at what to do. 

 

(Also, given this game doesn't have any RP profile addons.. how do you tell someone's even IC if they're sitting at a tavern..? I know some people wait for walkup/RP but I don't wanna risk RPing with someone who doesn't even RP...? How awkward that'd be...)

 

Any advice? DX ?

[Duhbine]

Hi, I was thinking the same thing about finding out if the person is an RPer or not browsing around here came across, something about editing your search details to add at the bottom [RP] or [RPer] something along them lines, so you can do that. Or sit and wait and hope someone RPs with you.

 

And coming from Forum RPing, to MMO RPing a while ago. Know how your feeling about the long detail posts, can get tricky some people dislike them, others encourage them, it gets tricky like a lot of things

 

Watching for the people that use /em /say to talk with others, maybe go up to them when they are alone themselves and start talking. I'm a experienced RPer and i still get stage freight with walkups. It is hard, but everyone here is so far nice from what i have seen so if you find one of their characters head up to them and start an RP sure they will be nice about it or tell you OOC if they are busy.

 

It is always a big risk with walkups that the person isn't an RPer, or is busy with something, afk etc. You just sometimes need to try your luck, and hope for the best. Which is mostly what I do, haha but with my luck i tend to fail.

 

And most of all, don't get discourage if you don't get any hits. Sometimes it takes awhile, and have fun!

 

My Character on Balmung is Celix Stark. If you see me around, always up for Rping so give me a wave, or a poke..just not with a big stick they hurt.

[Shayrei]

Hi there!

 

It is a daunting thing, especially with the lack of an 'official' RP server (thanks Square!). Aside from the obvious "just do it" approach or "keep an eye out for other RPers", I'd stay in touch with community events like the upcoming Gala or Sunday evening tavern events. (http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=20)

 

I don't know if this helps yet, since I haven't run into much random RP yet, but I've taken to changing my 'search info' to include "Roleplayer". This way when someone examines me, there is a small chat bubble icon under my name in the examine window that points out that I RP.

 

If you ever see Daphine Rysen roaming around (and she doesn't look completely derpy in crafting/gathering gear..or a moogle hat :dodgy: ) run up and say hi!

 

Also, I would suggest if you're not going to join a company, at least look for a LS so you have some sort of connection to other RPers. I'm still looking for a few myself!

 

Good luck!

[Duhbine]

Oh yeah forgot what ShayRei said, even if you are out of a FC, and LS or link shell might help you keep in touch with other Rpers.  I myself is in Intermission, its an OOC LS but full of RPers, mostly from here I think too. (http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=1902&page=5) Just message in-game one of the officers of the LS, Xenedra Ambreaus i believe is on at the moment.

 

 

Point to ShayRei!

[S'maia Rahz]

I think you're not alone in being nervous about 'walking in' to another person's RP space. I know that I share that same nervousness, and have likely missed out on a lot of potential RP because of it. That said, there's a few tools you have at your disposal that (while they don't directly get rid of 'walk in' nervousness, can help work around(?) it). Firstly, there's this very awesome site we're on right now. That's what I used- I saw some people with interesting profiles/wikis that I thought could be a lot of fun to RP with, and sent them PMs, got to talking, and wound up becoming friends and such in game.

 

To go along with that, there's also linkshells, both IC and OOC. There's several in use by various groups, and they basically function similarly to custom chat channels. This way you can be in steady contact with RPers and have ease of organization and coordination.

 

This is what worked for me at least- was able to get some RP going within the first couple days of early release just by prodding people on the site, and then getting into a linkshell. Hope my little story helps you too

[ShoggMommy]

I understand where you're coming from. I come from a yahoo-chat/forum background myself so a lot of my posts are longer than a lot of rper's. I also use past tense and third person as well. I think the best thing to do is see how the rp is going and tailor it to suit the situation. A lot of the times I still do use longer rp posts, but sometimes I will drop to a rather simple conversational rp. I learned to switch between the two of these in MMOs because it tends to be fast pace compared to what I'm used to. 

 

Overall, do what you feel most comfortable with but don't be afraid to try new things. There are a lot of wonderful LS and FCs out there. I wish you luck!

[Kyatai]

Totally feel  the  same,  reibees. I agree with the above posts- join an IC or OOC linkshell. You don't have to join a company... But networking & meeting other rpers will help a great deal. Don't know how you like your RP, but if you ever see any of us from FoE.... Roaming about eorzea (we don't spend a lot of time in taverns)...  Hit us up for RP goodness!

Also, feel free to friend me if you like... Chiané N'Ardanté.

[K'nahli]

I think I'd feel the same way. I'd never RP unless I was sure someone else was doing it and most times that would be down to events. I think I've only ever once encountered a possible RP scenario in-game without notice from these forums or my linkshell/FC when I was walking through Thanalan on my hy'ur and some lalafell past me, started walking after me and sent me a tell saying something along the lines of:

 

"Excuse me good sir, but why are you walking?"

 

He afterwards explained that he figured I might be RP'ing. I wasn't, rather I was just enjoying a walk through Thanalan >.> but it was so... cute ;;  Just the way he asked and started walking after me(no offence to lalafells, please don't kill me for this reference... but it was a bit like a child copying an adult and taking big walking strides to act like them).

[FreelanceWizard]

Another option is to check out the RPC Mentor Program. If you select a mentor, they can help bring you into RP at events and with their associates. Even if you don't formally select a mentor, though, all of mentors are open to RP just about any time, anywhere. Just speaking for myself, you can feel free to initiate RP with me pretty much whenever you see me, and (if you don't run off in a couple of seconds, anyway ) I'll start RPing with you. If you like, feel free to toss me a friend request and we can set something up if that'd help break the ice.

[YesGood]

The Mentorship thing looks like it'll be great. I feel inclined to join it, even though I've been RPing for a long while, just so I have access to help for FFXIV lore that I'm not 100% familiar with yet.

 

As others have said here, walk-up is intimidating. I've been shot down so many times, it's depressing. At least in WoW they had the add on MyRolePlay which flagged people as RPers and showed whether or not they were open to walk-ups and in character (assuming they updated it, which many did, religiously).

 

So, there's a few ways to approach it, depending on you and/or the situation.

 

1. Write up a 'troll' post. Trolling, in this case, by the definition rather than the common usage. If you're in a tavern or you're in the middle of nowhere and you think there's an RPer nearby that you'd like to RP with but you don't want to ask them OOC and arrange it, try writing up a post to show that you're an RPer.

 

 Siobhain Surtsthalwyn comes to rest from her long journey against the nearest wall. She mutters something to herself loud enough to be overheard, the tone of her voice belying her exhaustion. "Every gil... He took every gil." As though on cue a rumbling that carried farther than even her words sounded from within her toned stomach. The thunderous noise died off too slowly, turning her already pale carmine skin a deep red in mortification. (Some characters are kind enough to take this as an opening to walk up and offer some kind of aid at the sounds of hunger or concern overhearing she might have been stolen from. Admittedly, though, Siobhain is kinda huge so anyone who could successfully steal from her, most probably don't want to get involved with.)

 

 While maybe not a great post since it's an example, this is 'trolling' for me. It would draw, likely, someone's (who was within range and not terribly distracted by something else) attention. Many 'good' or 'lawful' or maybe even 'flirtatious' characters might be inclined to approach, for the reasons above. This might actually be a bit too subtle for some people, but when I'm up in the air about trying to RP and I don't want to go into OOC-zone, I'll post something like this that can catch the attention of another person. If they ignore her? She goes on her way. No harm, no foul. Most importantly, it's not something I have to retcon in the event no one notices it, like... a sword sticking through her gut.

 

 2. In some cases, like taverns mostly, people try doing something similar but they don't give any reason for someone else to walk up. If a character plops down in a chair and buries their nose in a book, chances are, no one is going to interrupt them unless they recognize them. 

 

 However, if the character looks up after a while and focuses on one RPer, looking them over none-too-discreetly and paying attention to his or her conversation, he might find a reason to approach them or the constant, creeper staring might catch their attention. Be careful of overhearing whispers, though, many people consider it meta-gaming.

 

3. And of course, your other option, as per other suggestions, is to send a PM to the person and make sure they're open to walk up and not AFK or something. 

 

Either way, I like to encourage people to be bold, even if their character's aren't the super social type. Find a plausible reason to walk up to a stranger-- what caught your eye about them in the first place?-- then go ahead and dive right in and don't be embarrassed if they're AFK or OOC or sad if they don't include you. Good RPers love when they're approached and many are too shy to approach others. Like K'nahli's example, you can leave a good impression on someone, even if they can't RP right that second.

[Kyatai]

The Mentorship thing looks like it'll be great. I feel inclined to join it, even though I've been RPing for a long while, just so I have access to help for FFXIV lore that I'm not 100% familiar with yet.

 

As others have said here, walk-up is intimidating. I've been shot down so many times, it's depressing. At least in WoW they had the add on MyRolePlay which flagged people as RPers and showed whether or not they were open to walk-ups and in character (assuming they updated it, which many did, religiously).

 

So, there's a few ways to approach it, depending on you and/or the situation.

 

1. Write up a 'troll' post. Trolling, in this case, by the definition rather than the common usage. If you're in a tavern or you're in the middle of nowhere and you think there's an RPer nearby that you'd like to RP with but you don't want to ask them OOC and arrange it, try writing up a post to show that you're an RPer.

 

 Siobhain Surtsthalwyn comes to rest from her long journey against the nearest wall. She mutters something to herself loud enough to be overheard, the tone of her voice belying her exhaustion. "Every gil... He took every gil." As though on cue a rumbling that carried farther than even her words sounded from within her toned stomach. The thunderous noise died off too slowly, turning her already pale carmine skin a deep red in mortification. (Some characters are kind enough to take this as an opening to walk up and offer some kind of aid at the sounds of hunger or concern overhearing she might have been stolen from. Admittedly, though, Siobhain is kinda huge so anyone who could successfully steal from her, most probably don't want to get involved with.)

 

 While maybe not a great post since it's an example, this is 'trolling' for me. It would draw, likely, someone's (who was within range and not terribly distracted by something else) attention. Many 'good' or 'lawful' or maybe even 'flirtatious' characters might be inclined to approach, for the reasons above. This might actually be a bit too subtle for some people, but when I'm up in the air about trying to RP and I don't want to go into OOC-zone, I'll post something like this that can catch the attention of another person. If they ignore her? She goes on her way. No harm, no foul. Most importantly, it's not something I have to retcon in the event no one notices it, like... a sword sticking through her gut.

 

 2. In some cases, like taverns mostly, people try doing something similar but they don't give any reason for someone else to walk up. If a character plops down in a chair and buries their nose in a book, chances are, no one is going to interrupt them unless they recognize them. 

 

 However, if they character looks up after a while and focuses on one RPer, looking them over none-too-discreetly and paying attention to his or her conversation, he might find a reason to approach them or the constant, creeper staring might catch their attention. Be careful of overhearing whispers, though, many people consider it meta-gaming.

 

3. And of course, your other option, as per other suggestions, is to send a PM to the person and make sure they're open to walk up and not AFK or something. 

 

Either way, I like to encourage people to be bold, even if their character's aren't the super social type. Find a plausible reason to walk up to a stranger-- what caught your eye about them in the first place?-- then go ahead and dive right in and don't be embarrassed if they're AFK or OOC or sad if they don't include you. Good RPers love when they're approached and many are too shy to approach others. Like K'nahli's example, you can leave a good impression on someone, even if they can't RP right that second.

^^^^^ that. :moogle:

[Dogberry]

Hi guys! I'm Dogberry Himalspyr on Balmung. If you're on Balmung and nervous about RP, put me on your friends list, and we can meet up sometime to RP. I love RP, and am very flexible when it comes to creating scenarios in which to RP. If you need help rounding out your character, I find even just small talk RP helps.

 

In character, Dogberry's a bit of a wandering bohemian who walks Eorzea trying to find peace of mind. He loves meeting new people, and despite his rough exterior, he's always willing to share a drink or a smoke a bowl of moko grass with a kindly stranger. He'll be more than happy to introduce you around to other people as well if you like.

 

Out of character, I think it's awesome and brave of you guys to make a thread like this, and admit your concerns about joining in RP. I totally understand your concerns, and believe me, I'm a veteran of Celestial Hills and remember TERA at launch. I had some pretty hilarious failed attempts at RP in Guild Wars as well.

 

Also, if you don't want to RP with me (don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't), check out some of the places in the thread about RP hotspots, and just walk up when you see people there. Make sure you distinguish yourself from a non-RPer, maybe by emoting close by, or letting people know OOC that you intend to join in. I know it can be daunting, but there really are people out there who try to be as inclusive as possible.

 

Good luck, guys!

[Rinh Hallani]

You aren't the only one who feels this way. I do, but for the opposite reason. My emotes tend not to be super detailed (I'm working on expanding them but old habits die hard) and seeing long ones really intimidates me! I think to myself, gosh, they must be an amazing RPer, I'd just be wasting their time. Also, in GW2, the folks with long, descriptive emotes and story driven RP seemed to avoid me and others in my guild who kept emotes shorter and tended towards spontaneous RP. I don't know if that was just a coincidence but it has made me feel even more anxious about approaching people with that RP style.

 

What I do now is usually ask around in my linkshell to see if anyone's RPing and respond to strangers if they approach me. I'm still working up the nerve to approach others myself. So far RPers in this game have been quite friendly and open to outsiders but, like I said, I've been burnt before. Don't assume I don't want to RP with you if you RP around me but don't actually approach me; I'm most likely just too nervous to be the one that breaks the ice!

[Therese Villefort]

I'd feel the same way if i had to approach random strangers to start some RP, but i rarely do it, almost never. I'm a roleplayer who is content with what he got, i usually start RPing with friends or people from my linkshell and that gets usually started OOC.

 

That said, i think the best and easiest way to get RP is indeed to join a linkshell, but you already said they wouldnt fit your playstyle... But you can have several Linkshells, they are not actual guilds like the FCs, so it wouldnt hurt to join a RP linkshell.

[Raccoon]

I think that's a pretty normal reaction for just about anyone, in RP or RL. Most people can't just walk up to a random group of people and start talking, and if they do, the random group's more likely to stare at the random stranger who thinks they can just walk up and start talking to them for no reason. Those rare social butterflies, or those who think of themselves as social butterflies, who can do that without a care are usually used to being given the cold shoulder.

 

Anyway, you're not the only one for sure.

[Tosheden]

Well, there's seems to quite the number of suggestions in this thread! I had this same issue when I tried RPing during my short time playing TSW. However, this time around I'm going to attempt to put my neck out there a bit more because I've noticed the RPing community is more welcoming here. So that always makes it a lot easier for us timid ones. Funny how your characters personality could be the exact opposite of being shy until it comes to actually initiating RP.

[Gideon Aryeh]

This is for anyone who feels this way, definitely contact the people in this thread if you are on Balmung. Dogberry and Freelance Wizard are both excellent and welcoming roleplayers and you honestly can't go wrong with them or any of the others who have replied here.

 

If you are on Gilgamesh and feel this way feel free to contact myself or anyone listed as linkpearl holders in the Coalition OOC and Limitless Sky links in my sig below.

 

 

Ignoring is never ever a thing that should be in any rp community and its not your job as a new roleplayer to carry or feel forced to establish your rp with veterans. If you ever run into anyone who ignores you, make sure you immediately find nice folk who won't. Ignoring is deplorable in public spaces period. It's rude in real life and its rude in a game where we are roleplaying having real lives but in a different world. There are absolutely no excuses for such behavior at all and the rules of manners simply do not change because the medium of life does. One thing I can promise you is that the folk who spoke in this thread and the ones listed as pearl holders in the thread links in my sig will never do this ever. If you are on Gilgamesh feel free to send me tells and feel free to send me private messages on here anytime you wish to roleplay.

 

Run into someone who will ignore others in public without even an upset remark in character ?(out of character upset remarks would be totally uncalled for, sorry but they are. Don't want people engaging you in public, don't have so called private conversations in public. It would be the equivalent of getting upset for someone asking you directions or the time) Do not be discouraged, just keep it moving and find great folk who won't.

[Reibees]

Thankyou all for the replies! This community seems much nicer than the ones I had in WoW and Tera, I'll be adding those who offered for sure u w u)/

 

I appreciate all the suggestions, too, I'll try and look into an OOC LS and hope I can get into some RP that way. If anyone likes to they're more than welcome to add me ingame (I'm on balmung)!

 

My characters are Vesta d'Lycaon and Dilandau Vi'Azel, I'm always open for RP if asked or walked up to, as long as I'm not about to do a dungeon with a friend or smth. Q w Q

[sanguineFenrir]

The others have done a great job offering ways to resolve walkup anxiety--which I've read, but I thought I would share my own frustration and anxiety:

 

As someone who did work on one forum I owned, which was less "roleplaying" and more "long novel literary collaborative writing with only one other user", RP in other games has often left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do OOC a lot less here than I did in those other games, which does work out better for me, but I think that, in general, the "brevity" or quickness of individual /say replies in a lot of game RP doesn't help me.

 

Because of having to keep the pace for other people and being a relatively slow typist, I am afraid to make the long, descriptive, figurative posts that were so characteristic of my former writing. For one thing, I had the reputation of being a "show-off"(I'll freely admit that), and, for another, the RP goes by so fast that I can't feel the sensory details I rely on. So it comes off as stilted, and I stop. Crowded areas are very distracting to me, but planning everything is something some people decry as inorganic.

 

I still roleplay on this game, but with a constantly nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am not living up to my own very high self-standard. For whatever reason, perhaps lack of practice or a change in emotional state, I have completely lost the ability to write except at a relatively basic, nondetailed, technical level, which outright infuriates me. I would go back into practice, but I have no reason to write, and even if I were to post things here, I would have to disallow input, because they may not have anything to do with the world at large, and I don't really want others reading my work until I can get my "power" back, if I knew how.

 

It's a vicious cycle, and it upsets me, because I know I can do better work than what most people see.

[Orlog]

I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.

 

So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!

[Otte]

There has been some great advice on this thread, and many of them I consider doing when I calm down from my initial PvE spree. Hopefully I manage to pull out enough courage to engage people in some random RP.

 

Like some other I also have a problem of being terribly shy when approaching other people for RP. Because I usually go with less conventional means to portray my characters in the way I see them(for example using a female toon to portray a short effeminate man), I've gotten ignored quite a few times, and had my characters and myself ridiculed behind my back. This has made me quite wary of other RPers, and actually made me slow down and finally stop RPing all together. I've always wanted to get back to RP, but it's hard to get over the fear of being rejected, even if it's only in a video game.

[Dravus]

I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.

 

So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!

 

Heh, I'm in a similar situation. I've been so used to role-playing with a specific group of people that I've gotten a tad rusty where random interaction is concerned. I'm still trying to find my 'niche' in the community, though I suspect that's the case for a fair few people. I've just been forcing - and rewarding - myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.

[Aedan]

A couple of days ago I had never RPed before, so I suffered from the same nervousness. First RP I was privy to I was too scared to interrupt because it was a pair, but after that, I sent one an OOC /tell, and now I've RPed with them! So there's always that option. I'm also one those RPers who is constantly IC, even when alone, or questing and levelling, and sometimes I'll just send out a random /em to show that I am RPing and see if anyone responds.

 

Otherwise, feel free to approach me!

[ShoggMommy]

A couple of days ago I had never RPed before, so I suffered from the same nervousness. First RP I was privy to I was too scared to interrupt because it was a pair, but after that, I sent one an OOC /tell, and now I've RPed with them! So there's always that option. I'm also one those RPers who is constantly IC, even when alone, or questing and levelling, and sometimes I'll just send out a random /em to show that I am RPing and see if anyone responds.

 

Otherwise, feel free to approach me!

 

I've rped for over 15 years now and I still get nervous sometimes with approaching people.  Its natural and it doesn't matter on how long a person has rped, it can seem quite daunting no matter what. But! The community here is awesome and quite helpful.

[cuideag]

I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.

 

So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!

 

Heh, I'm in a similar situation. I've been so used to role-playing with a specific group of people that I've gotten a tad rusty where random interaction is concerned. I'm still trying to find my 'niche' in the community, though I suspect that's the case for a fair few people. I've just been forcing - and rewarding - myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.

^ Yeah, this is my thing. I've been able to make friends with a great LS so far but I've been struggling with getting myself going in terms of RP. I'm crazy shy IRL and it's hard not letting that come through in-game. ._.