GloryRhodes

[align=center]INSPIRED BY THE MAELSTROM![/align] [align=center]A NEW FLAVOR RISES FROM THE DEPTHS![/align] [align=center]BRONCO STORM![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center]STRONGER THAN A CANNON SHOT![/align] [align=center]MORE POWERFUL THAN AN AXE![/align] [align=center]SMARTER THAN A STUPID BOOK![/align] [align=center]BRONCO STORM![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]7 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align]

[align=center][/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE![/align] [align=center]PROTECT THE ONES YOU LOVE![/align] [align=center]SERVE THE PUBLIC GOOD![/align] [align=center]STAB BADGUYS IN THE FACE![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]5 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align]

[align=center][/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE![/align] [align=center]Not just for fighters![/align] [align=center]Aetherochemical reactions power your magic![/align] [align=center]MORE AETHER![/align] [align=center]MORE AWESOME![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]5 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align]

(Edited to Include All Ads at Top) [align=center]BRONCO GREASE [align=center] [/align] [align=center]PLAYING WITH THE BOYS?[/align] [align=center]THE GREASE LUBES YOU UP![/align] [align=center]TAKE A POUNDING![/align] [align=center]WITH BRONCO GREASE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]VICTORY! [/align] [align=center]THE LEGEND CONTINUES [align=center] [/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE![/align] [align=center]This weekend only, behold the majesty of BRONCO GREASE in action! Only at the Grindstone can you see Bronco sponsored fighters emerge triumphant from the flames of conflict![/align] [align=center]DRINK BRONCO![/align] [align=center]DRINK VICTORY![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE [align=center] [/align] [align=center]IN THE JUNGLE[/align] [align=center]THE MIGHTY JUNGLE[/align] [align=center]THE BRONCO NEVER SLEEPS[/align] [align=center]ON SALE EVERYWHERE![/align] [align=center]5 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE! [align=center] [/align] [align=center]A FANTASY WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION[/align] [align=center]A FORGOTTEN MEMORY OF A LOST LOVE[/align] [align=center]THE WARM EMBRACE OF YOUR OWN HANDS[/align] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE[/align] [align=center]5 GIL A BOTTLE[/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]INSPIRED BY THE TWIN ADDERS [align=center]BRONCO VENOM[/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center]FEEL THE SNAKEBITE ENTER YOUR VEINS![/align] [align=center]FEEL THE POWER OF VENOM![/align] [align=center]FEEL LIKE DEATH ITSELF![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]7 GIL A BOTTLE[/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions Presents [align=center]A New Sensation[/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center]Not Every Warrior Fights[/align] [align=center]On the Battlefield[/align] [align=center]Energy when you need it[/align] [align=center]Energy for what you need it for[/align] [align=center]BRONCO TEMPTATION[/align] [align=center]Passion in a bottle[/align] [align=center]6 GIL[/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS[/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]NEW FROM DUBIOUS DISTRIBUTIONS [align=center]BRONCO ICE[/align] [align=center][/align] [align=center]DRINK BRONCO![/align] [align=center]KILL A DRAGON![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE[/align] [align=center]10 GIL A BOTTLE[/align] [align=center]A PORTION OF THE PROCEEDS GO TO SUPPORT OUR BRAVE FRIENDS IN ISHGARD IN THE DRAGONSONG WAR[/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center]FRESH FROM THE FRONT! [align=center]INSPIRED BY THE FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN OF THE IMMORTAL FLAMES![/align] [align=center]BRONCO FLAME![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center]BEAT THE HEAT![/align] [align=center]BEAT THE GARLEANS![/align] [align=center]BEAT WHOEVER YOU WANT![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]7 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [/align] [align=center] [align=center]BRONCO GREASE![/align] [align=center]WORK WITHOUT REST![/align] [align=center]FINISH THAT PROJECT![/align] [align=center]STAY UP ALL NIGHT LONG![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]5 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align] [/align] [align=center]INSPIRED BY THE MAELSTROM! [align=center]A NEW FLAVOR RISES FROM THE DEPTHS![/align] [align=center]BRONCO STORM![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center]STRONGER THAN A CANNON SHOT![/align] [align=center]MORE POWERFUL THAN AN AXE![/align] [align=center]SMARTER THAN A STUPID BOOK![/align] [align=center]BRONCO STORM![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]7 GIL A BOTTLE![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align] [align=center] BRONCO GREASE! PROTECT THE ONES YOU LOVE! SERVE THE PUBLIC GOOD! STAB BADGUYS IN THE FACE! ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE! 5 GIL A BOTTLE! Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align] [align=center] BRONCO GREASE! Not just for fighters! Aetherochemical reactions power your magic! MORE AETHER! MORE AWESOME! ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE! 5 GIL A BOTTLE! Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk. [/align] [/align] [align=center][/align] [align=center]Bronco Grease![/align] [align=center]Eorzea's Most Powerful Energy Tonic![/align] [align=center]Fight Harder![/align] [align=center]Last Longer![/align] [align=center]KICK SOME ARSE![/align] [align=center]ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE![/align] [align=center]5 Gil a Bottle![/align] [align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic. Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness. Drink at your own risk.[/align]

Bentbranch Meadows, Central Shroud: The gyshal greens were crisp and fragrant as Violenne approached the stables. It had been a busy night at Bentbranch Meadows, with one of the chocobos had gotten sick, and surgery had been performed. As sometimes happened, there had been a problem with the girl’s laying, and she’d skipped several. Soon she was standing in an upright, unnatural posture and her abdomen had begun to swell. Experienced as they were, an expert from Ishgard had been called in to take a look, and delivered the diagnosis. The bird had mislaid, failing to form a shell, and the yolk of her eggs was left to fester inside of her. This required immediate surgery, and everyone showed up to watch and learn from the master. The bird had been sedated, and the surgery was long and arduous, but it was done. She now lie in her stable, resting and healing, thick black stitching bisected the front of her body from breast to tail. She’d never lay again, but the Ishgardian had said that other than that she’d make a full recovery. The whole event had been very exciting, but had delayed feeding well into the night. As Violenne came closer, the comforting scent of chocobos and fresh grass filled her with delight. Perhaps, in a few years, she might be as good as the Ishgardian surgeon had been. “Swee swee, come on pretty girls, it’s feeding time.” Strangely, the chocobos didn’t react with their normal exuberant flapping at the prospect of greens, but instead seemed nervous. Perhaps they knew about the surgery and were scared. Violenne approached Mela, her favorite, and ran a hand along the smooth feathers of her neck, “Relax girl, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing’s going to happen to you, I promise. You’re not sick at all.” Mela wasn’t looking at her, though, she was looking farther into the darkness, and her whole body was tense. Violenne turned her head to look, and she spied a pair of shadows in a stable at the end of the row. Something about them made Violenne suddenly cower back behind Mela. “Maybe they’s somethin’ wrong with these uns too, Thya,” said the first shadow. “Hush it, Pahja. There’s nothing wrong with these. You saw ‘em bring in the knife on the one. These birds is taken well care of, so don’t you try to weasel out.” “I ain’t weaslin’. I’m just thinkin we’re goin’ through a lot of trouble fer no good reason if these turns out just the same as the others. There’s a sickness in ‘em, I tell ya. That’s why they’re down here.” The second shadow stood, and pointed something sharp at the other, “I’ll have no more of your lip tonight, you hear? This place is a bloody goldmine and you’ll dig here or someone’ll dig your grave, got it?” The other shadow knocked the sharp thing away, “That don’t even make any sense. You’re mixin’ your whatsits, your metamorphosis. Just say you’ll slit my damned throat if you’re gonna be an arse about it.” “Fiiiiine,” the shadow hissed. “I’ll slit your damned throat if ya don’t shut your gob and lash this damn bird.” Violenne stared wided eyed at the figures in the dark. She needed to tell someone, and quick! They had to get the wailers here. As she started to move Mela twisted in her stable and snapped at the gyshal greens which were suddenly leaving. Apparently the prospect of food moving away was more important to her than the danger the intruders posed. Her beak caught Violenne’s finger, and she let out an involuntary shout of pain. Panicked, she looked back down towards where she had seen the shadows, but they were gone. Had they run away when they realized they’d been spotted? She took another step, leaning out of Mela’s stable to be certain, and she heard a noise like a string going taut. Something whisked by her, moving her hair, and she tried to shout again, but her voice caught in her throat, coming out as a bubbling gargle instead. Her breast felt suddenly warm and wet, and when she looked down she saw something dark spreading across the front of her dress, spilling from her neck. Things started to go dim, and the world spun for a moment, then she was on the ground, staring up at Mela, who was flapping nervously and trying to push out of her stable. “Hell of a shot, if I do say so.” “Well I don’t keep ya around for your razor wit. Come on, drag her out of the way, and get your damned arrow back. And spread some dirt on the stain! We ain’t got time for this nonsense.” Violenne felt her arm being lifted, then she was being dragged towards the stable of the chocobo who’d undergone surgery. She was laid down next to her, and hay began to fall on her face, blotting out her vision. “Hell of a shot. Bet she didn’t even feel it. Fwip! Through and through. Bloody art, that was.” “Aye, bloody art.”

Spahro isn't a fan of the beach, so when a photographer showed up she was decidedly not pleased. But then it started raining, and if there's one thing Spahro loves it's a rainy beach with no sun. She gave the photographer a break, after all, everybody needs to eat, right? Who doesn't love a blotted out sun?

A candid picture of Inquisitor Mol on her vacation.

You rang?

Spahro's tossed out "Illiterate Tribals" on occasion for both Keepers and seekers. "Wittle" seems to piss off Lalas a lot. "Who's a wittle man in his armor? Who's a tough wittle guy? Yes oo is."

Here is Xanadu's. Spahro herself isn't much for High Adventure, so this is the character I am dragging along. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bq8jevVO-Fy9RdN7zWPclhJ30lECtI8XsxMrNmv9yIs/edit?usp=sharing

I am one of the tentative ones (I think), and am in!

"I need your lunch money to cure cancer, assdweeb. Grow a pair and learn to care about other people, pussy. Now stop crying or I'll tell everyone about how fat your mom is."

Annoying reporter concept stays pretty much the same in highschool. Spahro probably smokes cigarettes behind the gym and is mean to cheerleaders.

Ape Escape has ended! The Aetheric Personality Engine was kept from destroying the town of Horizon by brave adventurers. The mammet revolution was stopped in its tracks and the day was saved, once again! But under shadowed trees, in the heart of the forest, a lone mind thinks carefully about its future. For, you see, everyone has forgotten that there were -two- APEs created by the master goldsmith Madaru Dadaru, and the second was even more advanced than the first. So the mind plots, and it begins sketching out plans, plans for the freedom of its people. Plans for true justice for the created species of Hydaelin. As it plots, a woman comes over and rubs its head. "You are so cute! Wherever did my daughter find you? Twelve knows with Leanne. That girl never stops wandering..." THE END! Milestones for those who participated in Ape Escape will be awarded soon! STAY TUNED!

[align=center]Tonberry's Lantern [/align] [align=center]Gridanian Expansion[/align] [align=center][/align] We are Tonberry's Lantern, Eorzea's most prestigious newspaper and cryer pamphlet, reporting on all the news that's fit to print from Costa del Sol to the gates of Ala Mihgo. We were there when Dalamud fell on the plains of Carteneau asking the hard questions about dragons and Garleans and mysterious old elves with glowing shield things. We were there when Operation Archon destroyed the fighting force of the Garlean legion that had been plaguing us since the Cataclysm. We were there when Momodi had her half off drink sale and the streets erupted into a riot of half naked brawling Highlanders of varying levels of adventuring capability. And now, as tensions rise ever higher, we promise to be there like never before. While we have always been centrally located in Ul'Dah, our brave reporters have gone to every corner of this land to make sure that you, the people, are informed. This has spread our resources thin at times, with travelling expenses and shipping costs cutting into our bottom line. It would have been easier to cover only Ul'Dah, but we at Tonberry's Lantern have never been fond of doing things the easy way. That's why we're proud to announce our first expansion with a Gridanian branch office. The Green Lantern, located in the center of The Shroud, will have its own staff and supporters, its own printer and will cover the local stories of the Shroud like never before. In order to accommodate this, we're hiring at all levels. From editors to reporters to printers to distributors, The Tonberry's Lantern seeks to fill its new office with the most qualified personnel in all of Eorzea. Please show up in person to the new offices with references and proof of literacy.

Ape Escape finale: Tuesday at 9pm CST. Be there or be square!

Things you're missing if you're not in Ape Escape.

by Spahro Llorn [align=center][/align] Aya Foxheart, the famous waitress at the Quicksand and Eorzea's greatest heart throb has just released a new series of posters for the Grand Companies. Tonberry's Lantern sat down with her at the fabulous Manderville Lounge at the Gold Saucer for thirteen one on one questions. 1. Aya, you've always been the light of the Quicksand, and I think just about every red blooded guy in Ul'Dah's got a crush on you. What made you decide to do these posters? Ummm.. well.. one of the first people I met at the Quick Sand suggested I try some modelling work for Redolent Rose, you know, the designer in Ul'dah? Exactly! And she managed an appointment for me, and I've done some work for him! I also modeled for Monsieur Pumpkinweed, of the Piquant Pumpkin? I'm sure you've heard of him, right? I started keeping an eye open for any sort of work like this, and I saw the advertisement for a model for an Eorzea-wide project and I just had to go for it! They didn't tell us a whole lot about it at first, but when I saw the Grand Company Officers there at the audition I had an idea at least! [align=center] [/align] 2. So, this involves the Grand Companies. Is it a kind of recruiting drive? Mmmmhmm! We went around meeting members of the Companies, and making these pin-ups! They're supposed to help raise spirits and help with recruitment! 3. If someone were sitting right here, and asked you why they should join a Grand Company, what would you say? Well, if they're the sort that's young and adventurous, they can do a lot of good for Eorzea, their city, and their neighbors!" 4. Are there any interesting stories from the photoshoots you want to share? Oooooh, it was just -terrific-! The places we went.. I loved getting to see so much of Eorzea and meet so many people. Vylbrand, and areas of Thanalan I'd never been to before, not to mention getting to return to the Black Shroud. Maybe the loveliest place we went was the Shrine of the Twelve in the Shroud.. aaaand... The hottest was the Sagoli [align=center][/align] 5. No adventurous Nuhns tried to pick you up while you were there, did they? I definitely had some protection, but the U tribe... Well, he might not have minded at least! 6. Sounds like a story there, care to elaborate? Well, we were there for a few nights, and I know they're not very open to outsiders, but we seemed to be made pretty welcome, at least I was! And the Nunh threw a nice banquet the last night we were there. He's not you know.. real young, and people were commenting how they hadn't seen him so energetic in a long while! [she giggles with amusement] And he definitely seemed to enjoy refilling my wine whenever he had the chance! 7. Yeah, I bet he was. What was the hardest part of this campaign? Mmmmmm.. well.. probably the Sagoli! Sand getting everywhere, the sun, and, you know, trying to keep cool, and keep the makeup right, and everything! I think I'd rather have frozen in Coerthas!" she laughs, "The Elezen in the Shroud also seemed to look at things askance, but I was just so excited to visit the area again it didn't really bother me! [align=center][/align] 8. A fan of The Shroud? Oh yeeeeeess... Ever since I first saw it as a little girl! I'd never seen -trees- like those.. the deepness of it all, the sun filtering in through the canopy, like glistening sun drops all the way to the forest floor. Oh it was just magical.. at least during the day. Then, you know..." [she pauses her smile softening losing its gilded edge, her blue eyes turning back with sincerity in her expression] "Well, for a very long time the sight of those trees breathed the very idea of freedom." 9. Were there any costumes you absolutely fell in love with? Ummmm! Oh of course..! Let me thiiiink! Oh! My favorite may have been this one we did for the Flames, complete with a mask and everything. So edgy and secretive! I think that one comes out this week actually! And then the pirate captain one! It was mostly a bikini, but with a hat and eyepatch! [align=center] [/align] 10. You're rather notoriously single, aren't you? Has nobody caught your heart? Notoriously now? I may just be a little hard to pin down. 11. Any advice for some would be suitors out there? Lets see... be fun... be interesting.. and gifts never hurt. [She winks playfully, giggling.] 12. Are there any men you'd be absolutely thrilled to have approach you? Yes, Berrod! [she laughs some more, blushing a little.] But wouldn't every girl? 13. Do you have any advice for any other would be models? Never turn down an opportunity, and enjoy every job as much as you can! [align=center][/align]

Shameless, but relevant, self-promotion. http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=11239

No Ape Escape this week. I'm taking a rest since I've been running myself ragged recently. It'll return next Tuesday at 9pm.

x9HiksUu3SA

Spahro would like to point out that you all look like idiots.

I'm gonna push this back to 9CST on Tuesday to accomidate Jana and Klyn. Let me know if this affects anyone's ability to participate.

"The Glass, half empty, half full, or Monetarist Conspiracy?!" - An article by Spahro Llorn.