GloryRhodes

Ovaries bitch! EGGS FOR DAYS!

"That was not a vacation!" "Good, then pay me." Spahro crossed her arms and glared at the lalafell who signed her paychecks. or had signed her paychecks. Apparently going missing for several months can get a girl fired, but Spahro was having absolutely none of that. "If it wasn't an unpaid vacation then you'd better pay me for all the work I did or I'm going to sue you until your eyes bleed." Titileo, the editor of Tonberry's Lantern, was an extremely fat lalafell with wet eyes and a huge mustache. he also hated paying for anything. "You vanished for several months without word, and now you've just shown up for work acting as if nothing's ever happened." "Yeah, thanks for the exposition boss, where's my desk? Did you sell my desk? I refuse to work at Twin's desk, she's always got it covered in grease and genital stains." Just then the door opened and Spahro stepped in front of Titileo, throwing her arms wide, "Whatever it was, I didn't do, it! I haven't even been here for four mo- Eva! How's my favorite anarchist? What can you pay me to do for you today?"

I'm not Mrs. Spahro but can I try? Are these moments where you can't schedule something that you've been trying for weeks-months already? In that case, try giving forum/tumblr/skype/OTHER a try! [align=center][/align] Those are great ideas for a great question! Scheduling is a rough proposition sometimes, especially for us older folks. Balancing work, school, family, friends, social obligations and RP all at once can be really daunting. Trying to get two people doing that balancing act on at the same time is even worse. There just never seems like enough time. Kage is right that Skype, Forum and other RPs are a great way to slip in some quick RP whenever you've got the free time, but what about if you want some real in game face time? Well, it's sad to say, but that's a responsibility. You have to schedule time and stick to that schedule if you and a friend are having trouble meeting up. Often this means you might have to drop something else in order for that time to be available. There's just not enough time in the day to get done everything you want to do, so sometimes it's about making sacrifices. Figure out what's important to you and set your priorities, then make time available when your friend can also make time. When two people are super busy that's often the only way to do it. If your friend is only available Mondays, and that's your Raid day, well, you're gonna have to choose one or the other.

This. There is not a single human being on this earth that does not make judgements. Condemnation is an entirely different ballpark. As it was written in the definition options that I provided, there is nothing obtuse about it. 9. to decide or settle authoritatively; adjudge: The censor judged the book obscene and forbade its sale. You will note in the definition, and not in the example chosen, that "To decide or settle authoritatively" does not indicate the quality of the decision beyond its authoritativeness. It does not include positive or negative categories. You will also note the absurdity of presuming that when people say "You are free to roleplay what you want, but do not judge," that they are implying, "Do not positively judge the roleplay of others" or "Do not judge the roleplay of others regardless of whether the judgment is positive or negative." The statement is used to advocate avoiding condemnation in general practice. The notion that people would use it to advocate avoiding the condoning of roleplay concepts, or the avoidance of condemnation or condoning roleplay concepts, is so bizarre that you are clearly arguing in bad faith. If you wish to point out the linguistic contradiction between the two statements as written, congratulations. Give it 5-6 pages and some cites and your PHIL101 professor will give you a B. It is not meant to qualify, it is a literal interpretation of text. Essentially, as stated above, a math problem using words. You are bringing conjecture into the discussion. Also, your statement of presumption appears to be a restatement of your first paragraph. Would you expand on that? You can't STEM a philosophical or linguistic argument. There's no such thing as a definition engineer. This entire argument is semantical and should probably be locked before it explodes.

Hat, as it was posited in your OP, it has no meaning or relevance to the actual discussion you want to have. If you want to have a discussion about being nonjudgmental, or being judgmental, about RP, then please rephrase the prompt in such a manner so as to promote productive conversation instead of condemnation. This mostly feels like a bait thread, honestly. Verad said it better. See below.

[align=center][/align] Remember Rule #5 and don't judge. Nobody's a lore expert on every single thing, and there are a lot of neat opportunities for RP with some really interesting concepts. Sometimes it's more interesting to find explanations than dismissal. Did you know that religion plays an integral part in many Final Fantasy games, from the Church of Yevon in FFX to Leviathan Worship in FFVII to hints of Christianity in the original Final Fantasy? When you add the character of Gilgamesh to this you end up with a really cool explanation for her character. Gilgamesh has been the same character throughout all of his Final Fantasy appearances, and he's the most common recurring character in the series. Gilgamesh is a dimension hopping weapons collector looking for the legendary Masamune in the universes of each of the games, and has been the same, consistent person every time. Thinking about that, it's not too hard to think that someone from a universe where the Greek Pantheon existed might have been dimension hopped, since there is precedent, and the children of gods is certainly not too out of the question for most Final Fantasy themes. If that's not your cup of tea though, that's okay! You don't have to accept things that make you uncomfortable just like she doesn't have to change her character to make you more comfortable. Nobody has to do anything, but a little bit of compromise can lead to some amazing things.

[align=center][/align] Sometimes there are gonna be some groups that you just can't get into. Either your character concept doesn't fit in or their schedule is just too full to spend much time helping out new people at the moment. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with you either. Just let that experience go. Continuing to try to get into a group that isn't immediately welcoming can sour your moods on each other pretty quick, so sometimes it's best to move on and keep trying somewhere else. Don't worry. You can, and will, find RP that's right for you. There are so many RPers with so many different styles that there is a place for everyone. If you follow the steps from the guide on the first page then you will end up with friends who can appreciate you as much as you deserve, and you do deserve it! Remember, you're great, and just because not everyone sees it doesn't mean nobody does.

[align=center][/align] Great question! There are a ton of resources here on the RPC for finding linkshells, which can help a lot in finding people to RP with, but that's easy mode! Let's talk about events instead! Many FCs hold weekly or monthly events, which provide opportunities to meet new people in a situation with a ton of new people! Many events serve a double role as recruiting opportunities, and there's usually someone there on the lookout for new people to help integrate into the group. If you're of a more fighting mindset you can check out The Grindstone, or other combat events. Even if you're not a fighter, cheering for your favorite contestant can often lead to some great interaction with the others in the crowd. Remember, you don't always have to approach groups or individuals, and attending open events is a great way to get noticed in a setting where new blood is always welcome. If even this is a bit too much for you, bring in a friend from outside the game, or maybe ask someone OOC for help if they seem nice and knowledgeable. Unfortunately, meeting new people requires talking to them, so there's no real way to avoid that, unless someone were to start an Eorzean speed dating RP service. Hey, maybe that person could be you! I'd attend that event!

[align=center]Spahro's Guide to Being Popular[/align] [align=center]or[/align] [align=center]An awkward RPer's steps to infiltrating the plastics[/align] [align=center] [/align] Hi, I'm Spahro, and I want to talk to you about how to improve your RP life and make friends! Some of you may know me from such threads as " Coatleque Crofte: Hero or Harlot?" and "What's Your Power Level?" In RP you might recognize me as the spunky reporter girl who's always getting into mischief. Oh those Moon Keepers, what won't they get their noses into? I'm speaking to you from long years of experience with what we call the Arr Pees, across many different platforms including freeform chats, MMOs, tabletops and the bedroom. And if there's one thing that's present in all of these mediums, it's that some folks in the community just feel a bit left out. Well by golly, that's no good! RP is not just about being entertained guys, it's about entertaining! And we've got an obligation to make sure that every single one of the disenfranchised RPers has as good a time as us more popular types do! So, without further ado, I'd like to offer this handy dandy guide to getting into those closed of cliques, finding new and interesting RP partners and just having the best darned experience of your life! [align=center]Step 1: Be Proactively Entertaining![/align] [align=center] [/align] The populars didn't get popular by being born, they entertained people! You know that super cool guy in the moving picture shows who sits in the corner and doesn't say much, brooding into his drink and looking menacing and badass? He's doing that because he wants to be left alone, but you can bet sure howdy that whoever wrote that script has big plans in store for him that are gonna blow your mind! Unfortunately RP doesn't have a scriptwriter, and if you hand out being unsocial, well, you're not gonna have much of a social life! Contrary to popular belief, no one cares about your character's tragic backstory if you're tedious and boring. Get out there and have some fun! Approach people out of the blue and make it your goal not to be entertained, but to entertain them instead! Make a joke, or start up a random plot! it won't work every time, but if you can entertain a person then shucks, they'll like you and want to be entertained back! Never be afraid to tell someone your ideas and see if they're on board. being proactive and fun means you get to choose who you're RPing with, and they'll love RPing back with you! [align=center]Step 2: Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game[/align] [align=center][/align] I know, step one seems super awful! I mean, gosh, why shouldn't people come up to you? Why do you have to do all the hard work? They're just a bunch of elitists! Gosh darn it, if they'd just be more open and friendly then they'd know that you're the best thing that ever happened to them! It's a darn shame that social circles don't work like that, though. People have only got so much time to spend in RP, and they'll do their best to make the most of it! They like being entertained, and having fun with their friends, just like anyone else. If someone's got a lot of friends then it may seem like they're keeping you out, but actually it just means they have a ton of stuff to do already! Don't hate on people for having friends, instead make your own using step one! If you can't get into the cool storylines from that super hot group with that cute girl you like, then it probably means they're all so busy having fun together that they don't have much time to go looking for other RP. Don't worry, friend, if you're a fun person who can show off how entertaining you can be then you'll slip right in. There's no initiation rituals or paperwork or anything, it's just about making friends. And if that doesn't work, then by gosh, there's plenty of other cute girls to make friends with, buddy! I believe in you! [align=center]Step 3: Don't Force Things on Your Friends[/align] [align=center] [/align] So you have this really cool character concept, right? His name is Buff van Darkblade, and he's the coolest guy ever. He lost his parents in a freak volcano explosion, but then he forged their souls into a sword, and now he uses it to vanquish all demons from the land, but get this, he's actually a demon himself! Whpsssh, boom! Mind blown. Unfortunately, your friends, and even perfect strangers, just don't think he's as cool as you do. They keep kind of edging away from you whenever you bring him up, and they won't interact with him. Well let me tell you something buddy, Buff van Darkblade is awesome. I love him as much as you do! I heard he once cut a moon in half and smashed his archnemesis between both halves to make an astronomical hoagie. That is legit cool as heck! Your friends don't feel the same way though, and that's okay! Everybody's entitled to their opinions, and good old Buff van Darkblade just might not be the best fit for the environment you're in right now. Don't throw him out, shelve him for people who would appreciate him. Remember, you're here to be entertaining as much as you're here to be entertained. If you're not entertaining those around you then you're gonna lose friends pretty quick. This is a group exercise, so be part of the group! If you don't want to, then maybe that's just not the group for you, and that's okay as well! You know why? [align=center]Step 4: Let Your Colors Burst![/align] [align=center] [/align] In the words of a wise old sage I met riding bareback through the Catskills once, "Ain't nobody gonna be happy 'bout everythin' all the time." That's true everywhere, and especially in Happy Fun Pretendy Time. if someone gives you a hard time, well golly, you just ignore them and keep on going! While you're going to want to be entertaining, you also have the right to be entertained, and if nobody's doing it, then you just go ahead and entertain yourself! Buff van Darkblade is awesome and you play that guy like crazy if you want, nobody's stopping you! True, you might not get as many friends, but the ones you do snag will be totally into you and your pure badassity. I would play with you, and I'm popular! So let that freak flag soar, kid, and never let anyone tell you that you're doing it wrong. For gosh sakes, I play a character whose backstory is literally just the movie Alien. And that brings us to our final point. [align=center]Step 5: Don't Judge[/align] [align=center] [/align] So, by following the above steps you too have become "A Popular". You're surrounded by cool friends and have fun RPing all the time. You have far too many plots to keep up with and your RP schedule is just packed to the brim. Then, while you're sitting in the bar waiting for your RP partner to show up a little bitty Buffy von Darkknife approaches you and introduces herself, but she's half angel! Everyone knows that the Darkblades are all demon! What is she thinking?! She's thinking the same you were when you were starting out. She wants to be popular too. Just like you were oh so long ago, she's trying her hardest to make friends and have fun. Instead of thinking how dumb it is that she's an angel, think about how amazing the plotlines are that could come from that! Give her the benefit of the doubt. Everybody was unpopular at one point, usually before the nosejob.

The reason that I chose power levels instead of character descriptions or comic book/anime references is specifically because it is less descriptive of the subject at hand. Superman can beat up Green Arrow all day long unless there is a specific narrative reason why Green Arrow will win. Goku absolutely destroys Light Yagami in combat, but Light could kill him instantly if he learned his name. It's much less useful for the purposes of this examination. I was not looking at power level as a description of character, but rather as a descriptor. Truly, it is not normally the essence of who a character is, but it does play a significant role in how that character interacts with the world. Thor reacts to the world around him significantly different than does Daredevil in large part due to their relative power levels. And this would be no different than Buff van Darkblade and The Basement Exterminator reacting differently. This isn't really a matter of who could beat who in a fight, but rather about how their abilities cause them to interact with their environment, other characters and events. While Buff van Darkblade might wave a hand and turn a mugger to ash, or completely ignore them, One of Seven Samurai would be more hesitant to engage in violence if they were numerous and armed. While I understand that this chart does not encapsulate the whole of a player's character, or provide an accurate picture of their personality and situational abilities which might give them the edge over those more powerful, that is not the purpose of the list, and thus it will not be edited in a manner duplicitous to its intent. I will, however, include, at great request, Rank 4.5. Please see the original post for details.

I have found that in dealing with IC discrimination from a specific source, I always try to avoid it IC. It's usually a case that said IC person is attempting to assert authority where none is had in order to push a viewpoint that few agree with. IC I believe that when someone goes out of their way to be totally uncooperative based on a preconceived notion that, IC, it is up to everyone around to ignore them as much as possible to keep things from derailing into a situation that is neither relevant nor entertaining.

Relax. I'm sure we all know all the details of unreleased content by now.

Sex is a complicated thing that comes with a lot of social issues wrapped very tightly in leather and lace. Some people like it. Some people don't. Some people can do it without emotional attachment. Some people can't. Some people only do it with people they trust while others want to do it as often as possible with as many new people as possible. The opinions that people have on sex, and the issues surrounding sex, are extremely relevant to their own sex lives and very rarely relevant to the sex lives of those around them. People will participate or not participate in sex based upon their own experiences and preferences, and their own drives. There is safe sex and unsafe sex, and safe sex is defined by the person consenting to it. While for one couple safe sex means waiting until marriage, another might define it as with a trusting partner while another might describe it as simply avoiding disease. ERP is sex. It is not a separate issue than sex. Some people feel comfortable divorcing themselves from the sex they are having through a roleplay character, which can be fun and enjoyable. Some people prefer to experience the pleasure with their character. Some people aren't turned on by the sex they're having, others are. The only wrong way to have sex is nonconsentually. The only wrong way to ERP is nonconsentually.

There's a lot to be said for a character that can be torn down into a base component, and a lot of cynical essentialists like to look at characters as archetypes with accessories added on. Papalymo, for example is "Stodgy Wizard" with "Aggravating Sidekick" added onto it. That's a fine character, and there's a lot to do with that, but it's not the only method of doing things, nor is it the necessarily correct method. Merylvyb could easily be said to be "Warrior Queen" with "Pirate" tacked on, but it doesn't actually say much about her, unlike the Papalymo example above. She requires more explanation because she is a more nuanced character. The Admiral of Limsa Lominsa is defined not only by who she is, but by what she is as well. She would not be the same character without the weight of responsibility placed upon her by her position, and she would not handle that responsibility the same way were she in charge of Gridania or U'Dah. As much as we may try to define our characters as individuals independent of their circumstances, eventually all characters, if they are written long enough, become shaped by their setting and experiences individually if they were not crafted that way from the beginning. An Elezen Dragoon and a Hyur Dragoon might be similar in experience, but different in personality, but a Miqo'te Dragoon would be different in both. Done well it provides an interesting perspective on both the character's personality and their circumstances, and even done poorly it could provide new perspectives, which would allow for new interaction experiences. Since this is pulling from the other thread, and this thread is directly in reference to it, I would like to respond by saying that when it comes to lore, it exists to define a world we play in and set up the rules for interacting with it, but in a collective creative environment such as the one we have, it also provides a framework which allows for exceptions to those rules. While I don't believe that one should break the lore without knowing it, and the reason why and consequences of the break, adhering to it for the purpose of comfort or some kind of misinterpreted sense of authority, forgoing exceptions to it, is not productive and is entirely non-conducive to an entertaining dynamic group experience. And we are all here to be entertainers even as we are being entertained. /twocents

Zyrusticae, thank you for your input, but I'm not sure why you're replying to assertions form another thread. It's a bit off topic. I don't feel like anyone needs to defend themselves for their choice of power level.

In any RP community there are different kinds of players who prefer different kinds of play, and, of course, different levels of power in their characters. Some people like playing all powerful superdudes with aether powered abilities that make them the equal of gods while others might prefer playing dark, gritty, down to earth types who might get casually shoved off of a tower or have their throats slit at their son's ill advised wedding. In the interests of clarification, I'll narrow the categories down into seven distinct powerlevels. 1. Buff van Darkblade You are the main character of the story, no matter who else is in it. Wielding your unique levels of power and often holding a magical weapon of untold strength, you are untouchable in combat. Those below you in power level don't stand a chance, and you like it that way. You scoff at the puny mortals and wonder why anyone even plays them. You never lose a fight unless it's scripted. 2. Over 9,000! Aether is your bread and butter, and you drink of it with relish. Maybe you were cursed with uncontrollable power, or you're the last heir to a forgotten legacy, but you brawl like a boss and cast spells at 9th level. Up against powerful foes you get beaten and bruised, but usually come out on top. NPCs are no threat, however, and you swat droves of them like flies. 3. Unrivalled Master You're the best around, nobody's ever gonna get ya down. You've mastered a martial art, or a sword style, or a magical style, and you're a total badass, the best at it that there's ever been at what you do. Eorzean SpecOps teams recruit you to train them. Yeah, you may get hurt, but you ain't got time to bleed. NPCs are a minor nuisance, but enough of them might prove troublesome, and PCs are something to watch out for. 4. One of Seven Samurai You're not just good, you're damn good. You've been doing this for years, and there's not a a hell of a lot of people who can compare. Whether you're fighting a mounted mountain with your trusty spear or standing with your friends to defend a village troubled by bandits, you're as good as five or ten NPCs easy. Other PCs can prove an issue, but you're pretty sure you can hold your own, one on one. 4.5 Ooooorrrya! You're a pretty tough type. Yeah, you've seen your fair share of scuffles, and you've probably got the scars to prove it. People who know you don't mess with you, that's for sure. Anybody'd be lucky to have you in their gang, just as long as they don't count on you to pull through when that quiet guy you've never seen before takes offense at how you're treating that waitress... 5. Basement Exterminator Maybe you're just starting out, or you're just not particularly skilled at combat, but you're a bit of a bog standard adventurer type. Momodi asked you to take out some marmots once, and you proved your worth, though maybe with a few bite marks and a torn pair of pants to show for it. You're not going to change the world, but you can hold your own against most NPCs, though somehow PCs tend to get the better of you in most circumstances. 6. Times are Tough... You're an average type of person with no special fighting skills to speak of. You might have gotten into a barroom brawl once or twice, and you scuffled with other kids back in the day, but you kind of fade into the background, preferring sitting around in bars talking to going out and murdering things for their loot. You don't consider yourself boring, but for some reason all the cool kids in the shiny armor won't talk to you... 7. Do You Even Aether, Bro? Fighting? Ha! Oh man, you remember that time you got into a fight! You still have nightmares about it, actually... And you still limp a bit. Whether combat's not your forte and you prefer the political intrigue of putting your incestuous bastard lovechild on the throne, or you're just kind of a wuss, you avoid fighting whenever possible and tend to drop like a sack of potatoes when it happens, no matter who's making you hit yourself in front of all your friends. For those interested, my characters are at Basement Exterminator and One of Seven Samurai levels.

It was raining, and Spahro was out in the storm chewing on half of a grilled snake and glaring at the sky. Thin, fragile bones crunched between her teeth as she peered up into the storming clouds, shielding her eyes from the rain. Her hair was matted down to her forehead, clothes soaked through and even the spices on her snack were being quickly washed away by the downpour. Normally she wasn't stupid enough to stand out in the rain staring at the sky, but it had been a rough couple of days, and considering she slept on a roof being down in the streets of the city was actually more preferable to getting drenched without any protection at all. "I hate this city," she mumbled, not really meaning it. A street urchin darted past, quiet except for the splash of her bare feet in a puddle, and Spahro watched her go, slipping into an alley between a warehouse and a carpet shop. When the voice rose up out of the storm she gasped, which wasn't smart with most of a snake in her mouth. "I have been looking for you." her meal was sucked into her throat and she gagged, choking. Distracted from the sudden man by a life threatening situation she stumbled forward into the street, her eyes wide and panicky. With one hand she grabbed the tail of the snake and gave it a yank, pulling the whole thing from her throat. She threw it into the night on reflex, immediately missing the peppery flavor in her mouth, and regretted it. "What the shite?!" She spun, her eyes bloodshot and focused on the man who'd snuck up on her. "You nearly killed me, you arsehole! What do you want, money? Piss off! The last of my gil bought the meal you just made me waste. Who the hell sneaks up on someone like that? Common mugger or an assassin or something. You come to kill me?" Spahro extended her arms, thrusting out her chest at him, "Well have at it! You aren't going to hear me beg or cry about it, but I can promise you that whoever hired you is going to regret it!"

I can neither confirm nor deny the adorableness depicted.

HAHA FRANZ HAS A DING DONG!

[align=center]The Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah[/align] [align=center]Would like to remind the citizenry[/align] [align=center]That Free Paladins are not Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement[/align] [align=center]Anelia Sadowyn[/align] [align=center]Is not a member of the Sultansworn[/align] [align=center]If she attempts to subdue or detain you[/align] [align=center]Please alert the nearest Brass Blades[/align] [align=center]Do Not Follow Her or Submit to Her Authority[/align] [align=center]If you see a Free Paladin impersonating Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement please inform legitimate authorities.[/align] [align=center]DO NOT ENGAGE THEM YOURSELF[/align] [align=center]FREE PALADINS ARE ARMED AND DANGEROUS [/align] [align=center]This advertisement paid for by:[/align] [align=center]The Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah, Paladins in Service to[/align] [align=center]Her Royal Majesty Nanamo Ul Namo, Sultana of Ul'Dah, Jewel of The Desert[/align]

"...but it’s also a symptom of the mindset that anything that isn’t entirely super-serious is flawed. The conclusion that gets to is that if Justice League International is funny, then it can’t be anything else." I recently read an article about the lasting legacy of twenty year old comic book series, and it struck me as very informative towards RP. While it is about a comic, and a ton of information in the article is about comics, it's also very relevant to RP styles. The whole article is a discussion about why this particular book about a group of super heroes is more impactful than any number of other books about super heroes despite the fact that it's often derided as the "Funny" book. A lot of RPers love serious storylines. Murder, mystery, betrayal, sex, ultraviolence, blood on the ceiling, the whole nine yards. Mature storylines. And there is nothing wrong with those stories. They're not just important, they're often critical to character development. At lot of times though, the funny storyline is considered less important. It's set aside as something entertaining to do once or twice, but isn't as necessary as the impactful drama of missing loves and evil villains killing PCs. That's where this article makes its stand. The comedy in characterization is just as important as the heavy hitting action and drama. Many Free Companies are groups of extremely powerful people fighting badguys, and bickering amongst themselves with personal drama, making them very close to the established superhero team dynamic, which means that the storylines of FCs can be informed by the same kind of story telling as in super hero comics. “The groundwork is laid through comedy and character work, so that when the action starts, it hits harder. You’re lulled into thinking that this is just going to be a sitcom about bickering teammates and Guy Gardner’s mouth writing checks that his glass jaw can’t cash, and when it’s time to flip it around and blindside you with all the serious stuff that comes from a superhero comic, it subverts your expectations and feels a whole lot more serious than it actually is.” And let's be completely fair. Most big action drama storylines aren't really all that serious. We know that our own characters are probably not in any real danger unless we agree to it. We know that while someone may die, they're not really dead. They're just going to reroll a new character. The real impact of these events like character death is an honest feeling of loss at a character that you've enjoyed, but without laying the groundwork of having a character that others enjoy there is no sense of loss. If a dead character can be replaced by another stoic quiet loner with a mysterious past then there's no actual loss there. Often, there's not even a real sense of peril when that character is put in danger because there's no connection to him. I'm a big fan of humor in RP, and not because I don't enjoy serious storylines. I like it because people you laugh with are people you care about. And when you care about the characters involved in a story then you care about the story. “They all follow that mold, balancing out those small, affable, engaging character moments with the big action that works because it feels like the bad guys are going after your friends instead of your heroes.”

You think your character is cool? My character is a fucking restless Elf Barbarian from a boarding school for the children of middle-class wizards who has serious daddy issues

Basically Spahro: XOLNO62MSL0 So, you know, BJJ.

The Spahro method. 1) Find mark. 2) Approach with confidence. 3) Accuse them of having improper relations with carnivorous flora. 4) Inform them of your previous relations with their parents. 5) Explain which orafices of theirs will be violently filled with living creatures. 6) Go home alone.