GloryRhodes

by Spahro Llorn Mercenaries attacked an Antelope Tribe village in The Shroud earlier this week resulting in the deaths of the head huntress and many others. Witnesses claim that the attack was an effort to reclaim a runaway concubine. A survivor of the attack who wishes to remain nameless described the brutality. "They set the encampment on fire, and they killed anyone who got in the way. A few of us managed to fight back. Most were killed. A few were able to escape. I did what I could during the attack, but we were outnumbered and outmaneuvered from the beginning." The nuhn of the tribe, A'Raha, is missing. It is unknown if he died during the attack or is in hiding. The name of the concubine who was the alleged cause of the attack is also unknown. If anyone has any information regarding this event please contact the Twin Adders immediately.

by Spahro Llorn Sultansworn Natalie McBeef was killed in action recently while pursuing the investigation into Captain Nero Lazarov, a pirate wanted in connection to a smuggling operation. Ser McBeef was in charge of the investigation into Lazarov's alleged smuggling of Garlean weaponry into the Silver Bazaar, and it was this investigation which led to her death. Though details released by the Sultansworn are vague, it is known that McBeef was leading a raid when she was fatally wounded. According to Ser Coatleque Crofte, the Sultansworn representative who has taken over the investigation from Ser McBeef, McBeef did not seem to be severely injured and insisted that other members of her party be seen to first. While her companions were being treated she passed away from her injuries. Questions remain about the exact nature of the encounter which led to Ser McBeef's death, but details are being withheld due to the ongoing investigation. Evidence linking Jameson Taeros's personal relationship with Ser McBeef, and accusations of his involvement with the smuggling ring cast a dark shadow over the death of one of The Jewel's sworn defenders. Ser McBeef herself was under scrutiny at the time of her death. "Natalie McBeef may not have been an exemplary paladin," Ser Crofte said. "But she was a credit to her grace's Sworn. There are few among the order who were able to take action as forcefully as she when the time called for it." Donations to the McBeef Memorial Fund may be dropped off at the Sultansworn offices in The Scholar's Walk or at The Tonberry's Lantern offices off of Pearl Lane.

Spahro is a Monk, but I straight up play her as a reporter. She can't fight at all. Does that count?

In FF XIV we're given a beautiful world in which to play, fully fleshed out with cultures, accents, religions and characters from all sorts of different backgrounds. I've noticed discussions here about ERP and other things, but I wanna talk about cussing because it's a hoot. In the game's NPCs you see a lot of "Shite"s, "Whoreson"s and "Bloody"s but I think that Eorzea has a plethora of more inventive and fun curses. I myself love the chance to create creative ways of telling people where to stick it while keeping it in character to the setting and lore appropriate. Here are some examples from recent logs: "Listen here you shite faced goblin loving son of an ochu fondling whore from Mor Dhona. I ain't matin' with shite and if you don't shut yer **** trap I'm gonna gut you like a two gil fish and sell your entrails for harp strings!" "Ok. What I meant when I said I was going to plug your ****hole was that I'm going to bend you over, pull your pants down, and shove a live squid up your arse so the tentacles are flailing about in a panic between your cheeks and then flip you over, paint you green and tell everyone you're an ochu." I'd love to see what everyone else's favorite Eorzean vulgarities are, or how they feel about them ingame.

I personally think this whole thing is super interesting, makes for great RP and is cool beanso. Spahro is even happier about it, but she's awful.

How does one react to finding out that her landlord has died? For Spahro Llorn it involved an unsuppressed squeal of jubilation and then breaking and entering. It took no time at all to jimmy the lock into Natalie's room, then break into her desk and begin altering account books to reflect that Spahro had paid her rent in advance to cover three full years at the house in The Goblet. Then she put on her favorite outfit, including the top that almost gave her cleavage, and went out for breakfast. The cool night air seemed to dance on her skin as she skipped along the streets, waving to starving refugees and blowing kisses to beggars. Most people, of course, had their breakfast in the morning, but for a Keeper in Ul'Dah that was just not practical. Spahro kept a nocturnal schedule to protect her skin, her eyesight and her reputation. besides, Ul'Dah was a lot less hectic at night, which made it easier to hear and spot things she wasn't supposed to. A little street vendor served her some grilled snake with a coating of desert spices and a warm cup of mulled cactuar juice which she delighted in while headed to work. the headquarters of Tonberry's Lantern were housed on the second floor of an ugly building off of Pearl Lane and included a grand total of three employees. There was Titileo, the editor, a Lala of impressive girth, more impressive mustache and laconic disposition. He saw Spahro first as she came through the door, half a snake hanging out of her mouth, happily crunching on the delicate bones. "You're late." "Don't care!" she replied and plopped down behind the communal desk of all of The Lantern's contributors. The room wasn't large enough to house desks for every writer along with all of the printing equipment which took up most of the space. vast churning gears and heavy brass plates filled two thirds of The Lantern's office. In charge of it all was a gargantuan female Hellsguard named Twin Mulberry was was constantly cursing the Twelve as she tried to fit her overly large hands into the small spaces in the machine. Her hands were, as usual, covered in bandages from getting caught between gears and presses. Spahro was sure if she'd been anything other than a Roe she'd have been an amputee several times over. "Twin, you would not believe the great luck I've had today!" "Eat dragon cocks in all twelve hells you scandal spewin' pile o' coeurl shite. Did somebody die?" Spahro liked Twin. "Yes! Natalie McBeef! The Sultansworn I was investigating is dead! Stabbed in a raid or something. I heard it through the grapevine. She was also my landlord. originally I'd just taken the room to investigate, but now that she's dead my life's gotten a lot easier. This is just fantastic." Titileo frowned and ran his fingers across his mustache, "Your only lead died?" "No," Spahro rolled her eyes. "Not my only lead, but think about it. We've got Sultansworn dying under mysterious circumstances and all sorts of other crazy stuff going on. This could be the biggest story in the history of The lantern. What if she was killed by Taeros to to cover his own tracks?" "Yer a bloody vulture," Twin added helpfully. "What can I say," Spahro said with a smile as she spat out a snake bone. "The hunters get the choicest meat, but the scavengers get the guaranteed meals."

Spahro is... Nonsexual? I describe her an an "Asexual Bitch Monster" but it's not really true. Spahro experiences attraction and has had a lover or two in the past, but it's generally pretty far from the forefront of her mind. She's got more important things to do than go around examining people's genitals, I guess. And let's be completely fair here, why would anyone want to get intimate with Spahro? I actually play her as terribly off putting and caustic in an attempt to keep romantic advances at a minimum. Don't have sex with Spahro. She'd make fun of you the whole time then write in the paper about how bad you are in bed.

by Spahro Llorn http://oi59.tinypic.com/21ox7o4.jpg[/img] I don't normally do the whole opinion thing, but seeing as this is the nine hundredth time he's asked me to write about him, I decided that it was time to actually do him a favor, so here we go. Otto Vann, Ul'Dahn rich guy and eccentric extraordinaire, leave me alone! When I first met Otto he hit on me while I was working. Now, I'm not unused to this, unfortunately, so I handled it with grace and nobility by implying that he must have been hitting on the man next to me and that I thought they'd make a cute couple. After my deft deflection of his advances he asked what I did for a living. I told him, and his next words were "You could be of use to me." Let me get something straight. I am writing this for everyone out there who thinks I might be of some use to them. Spahro Llorn and Tonberry's Lantern are not for sale. We do not participate in promotion of political agendas. We will not be bought. We are no one's tool. We are firmly against prior restraint and if you want to dictate what's in the paper buy ad space. News inches are ours alone to dictate. Otto Vann, a rampant madman who wanders around in ludicrous outfits, or no clothes at all, with his outdated facial hair and shiny bald dome, is not newsworthy. He's barely worth talking about while he's present. I'm not sure how he made his money, though I assume it was in fashion, for only the fashion industry could support such an ignoramus, but he throws it around as if he were the Twelve's gift to the world. The concept of integrity and honor seem foreign to him, as if he doesn't understand that some affections and loyalties can't be bought. So, listen to me very closely, all of you narcissists who think that Tonberry's Lantern exist to promote your own egos. No one wants to read about you. No one cares that you achieved some personal goal or that today your chamber pot smelled like scented roses. If you want to be in the paper do something newsworthy. Go on a spree killing or expose corruption in the Gridanian Miller's Guild. Murder someone famous! But do not ever beg for recognition. It's boring. I am Spahro Llorn, and I hate it here.

Ok, let's talk about CHIMPS. A chimpanzee male, at its heaviest, can weigh up to 150lbs. The head of the Yale Primate Research Laboratory, a guy named Glen Finch in the 40s did strength tests on captive chimps and found that adult males can lift a pretty hefty weight and are, on average, pound for pound, about twice as strong as human beings. Why? Chimpanzee muscles have longer fibers than those of humans, allowing them to produce twice the amount of energy in the same range of motion. A 150 pound chimp is on par with the strength of a 300 pound man. So, you see all these Brass Blades and Sultansworn with beat ass bronze swords and shields, not magical enchanted weaponry, and you have stories of Lalafel pugilists, and you see several in action. You also see Lalafel anatomy as being short, thick, peoples with heavy, meaty torsos. For their size they have a lot of mass. I speculate that Lalafel musculature is simply different than that of other races, specifically that of Hyur. It's not too much of a stretch to assume that Lalafel, who are very agile but tend to move without bending their limbs much (look at that Lala walk) have a different structure to their muscles. If we give that Lalas have a muscle structure like that of chimps, twice as powerful as that of a Hyur's, pound for pound, then suddenly everything makes sense. No more "They must be more highly trained!" and other problems like that. Lalas are just physiologically different, as much so as a human and a chimp.

Single Moon keeper Female Looking For Female Well read and cute Looking for someone to hold hands with Love walks under the trees and slow kisses NO FATTIES

DAMMIT you are going to live with us... Guess nat can't murder you now T_T. See how clever I am with the plans?

Hello. I am involved in this by being the world's most murderable journalist.

I've played a lot of things, but I tend to gravitate towards funny characters. Some friends of mine once told me that all my characters are people who shouldn't fit where they are, but somehow make it work. At some point I want to try a serious, relatively generic person who fits in perfectly with her environment and setting. but I'd probably get bored and she'd start telling bad knock knock jokes all the time.

Jameson Taeros Named by Former Sultansworn by Spahro Llorn Jameson Taeros has served the fair city of Ul’Dah with prestige and loyalty as a member of the Syndicate for years, but has now been linked to the illegal activities of a La Noescan pirate named Lazarov, according to former Sultansworn Roen Denieth. Ser Deneith, along with Sers Coatleque Crofte and Natalie Mcbeefof the Sultansworn, and a contingent of Brass Blades, intercepted a shipment of Garlean weapons coming through the port at the Silver Bazaar. Two groups of men were meeting at thedocks. The smugglers themselves were La Noescan pirates under the command of Captain Lazarov. According to Ser Crofte the group who were receiving the shipment were members of the Syndicate. After a brief struggle the shipment was captured, though Lazarov and many of his men managed to escape captivity. Crofte claims to have received an anonymous tip that the transaction would be taking place, but Deneith has another story. She claims that Lazarov himself gave them the tip, and that he was hired to smuggle in the weapons by Jameson Taeros. “It was meant to provide evidence to arrest the one who hired him to bring in illegal goods, but somehow Taeros turned the story around, and pointed the blame at the pirate instead.” As for the location of the shipment now? “To my great displeasure, it was re-appropriated by our Brass Blades to pay for their assistance that night. I am sure we can all agree they deserve recompense for their time,” Crofte said. Again Deneith paints a different picture. “It may have been turned over back to Taeros. He has deep connections within the Brass Blades.” Ser Mcbeef is currently hunting Lazarov in La Noesca after having his first mate, captured in the raid, killed. According to Deneith she means to make an example out of Lazarov to deter further piracy against Ul’Dahn ships. Ser Crofte, however, questions her motives. “Despite what they would want the public t othink, {Lazarov} has yet to pose a serious threat to the sovereignty of the Sultanate. I will admit that his actions have disrupted trade immensely, however. This is an issue for the Syndicate, and the politicians. Not the Sultansworn,” she said. Mcbeef herself is linked to Taeros through rumor, though unsubstantiated. She claims to know him on a purely professional level. When Crofte was asked about the possible personal relationship between Mcbeef and Taeros she had this to say, “There have been accusations, and that's all they are, that Ser McBeef might have a personal relationship with Taeros. It would be uncouth of me to comment on rumors of my colleague’s love life. As much as I would like to share what she has said in confidence.” Mcbeef has said that her loyalty is to the Sultana first, and she would kill Taeros if asked to do so. Crofte also claims that he is highly influential in this investigation. “Because he is not so much 'involved' by himself, so much as he seems to be pulling certain strings. Master Taeros is not the one following up on leads, traveling abroad hunting this man, though he does appear to be handing out orders.” This is not the first time that Taeros, Mcbeef and Deneith have been involved in Garlean technology smuggling. In a previous mission Sers Mcbeef and Deneith came under scrutiny for a missing Cerulean Core which was lost during a raid. Further investigation into this matter, led by Taeros, resulted in both Deneith and Mcbeef being demoted, though they were eventually exonerated and Mcbeef was restored to rank. According to Crofte, Deneith refused to resume her role. “The invitation stillstands to return to the Order should she desire to, though in light of recent events that door may close fast,” Crofte said. The core was never recovered. Lazarov was unavailable for comment, being on the run from Ser Mcbeef, but Crofte and Deneith both had comments on the man. “From what I've heard he is a shrewd businessman. He is also a favorite of local street urchins, so I assume he likes children. Always a good thing in a man, aye?" Crofte said. Deneith said, “He did what he did because he believes Taeros to be corrupt, as I do. But for his efforts, he saw one of his crewmates get killed, and now is being hunted.”

I would vote to continue it, if only because my character, Spahro, was made specifically to be a reporter for it. I'd be willing to take over whatever needs to be done for it if you guys want to continue it.

Dear RPers, I am Glory Rhodes, and I am new. I don't really know anything about Final Fantasy XIV, but I was a huge Final Fantasy fan for years. I even liked X-2 because nothing makes me happier than playing dress up FOREVER. I've been RPing for a while, so I have experience at that, and I'd love to have a chance to play with cool people who are cool and like cool things like I do because I am cool. I play Yga Thunderfell, an amnesiac historian who knows nothing about the history of Eorzea so that I can learn the lore! She's really nice and not very bright and would love to have friends. Thank you! Sincerely, Glory Rhodes PS: Yga is cute in a tall, brawny, stupid person way. PPS: Oh, and I'm on Balmung!