Bad Jokes

[Warren Castille]

Did you hear about that cow that tried to jump over the barbed wire fence?

 

It was a scene of udder destruction.

[Emelc]

Oooh, I got one!

 

Did you hear about the deaf guy who won the lottery?

 

Neither did he..

[Jonexe]

Two atoms walk into a bar, what happens?

 

 

They split!

 

[Branson Thorne]

A man visits his fiancees family for the first time. After playing card games and visiting for awhile his fiancee and her father leave to go to the store for some snacks. While they are gone, his very attractive, soon to be mother in law starts coming on to him strong, trying to get him to take her to bed. The man remains speechless and heads to the door. upon opening it he finds his fiancee and her father standing there. Her father extends his hand for a handshake and says "Congratulations son you've passed the test, you may marry my daughter"

 

 

Always leave your condoms in the car

 

[SessionZero]

A blonde walks into an appliance store and asks to purchase the TV behind the counter. The store owner shakes his head and responds, "We don't sell to blondes." A few weeks later she returns with her hair dyed brown. Again, asking to purchase the TV, she is told, "We don't sell to blondes." She returns a few weeks later with her hair dyed black and is told once again, "We don't sell to blondes." Exasperated, the girl throws her hands up and asks, "How do you always know I'm a blonde!?"

 

The store owner replies, "Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave."

 

 

And a punny one for you all,

 

I recently attended a theater production about puns.

 

 

It was a play on words.

 

[Greybarren]

Here's a couple of super-nerdy ones:

 

I know a joke about UDP, but you probably won't get it.

 

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursive algorithm. Recursive algorithm who? Knock knock. Who's there? Recursive algorithm. Recursive algorithm who? Knock knock...

 

Super nerd jokes are always fun!  Let's have a cheer!

 

["hip","hip"]

 

~~

 

Why do Java developers always need glasses?

 

Because they can't C#.

 

~~

 

How do you tell an introverted programmer from an extroverted programmer?

 

The extroverted programmer will be looking at your shoes.

 

~~

 

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

None.  That's a hardware problem.

 

~~

[Larson]

The Diary of a Vampire by Anne Frank

[Sylentmana]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

 

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

[Eckerd]

Here goes!

 

 

What's the best time to visit the dentist?

 

 

Tooth Hurty.

 

[Hyakki]

Miqo'te dragoons. :cactuar:

[Branson Thorne]

Did you here about the magic tractor?

 

 

It drove down the road and turned into a field