My Observations

[Spethah]

I'm not a new RPer, I've been at this for 5 months. 5 months of having trouble not only asking people if they want to RP but also to find some that's "free". Free, being that the RP is open and not a closed thing that's only for "my clique". 

 

1. Have I gone up to people and asked? Yes! I've burned up a massive amount of courage to do so (I'm actually terrified of people due to a mental issue) and I've always been shot down. Now admittedly I don't ask often mostly because, as I've said before, I'm scared of people. Yes, I am scared of YOU. Don't know why, but my mental issues pushes my brain to be afraid of people and OOC conversations. IC I'm not and it's all good.

 

2. Have I asked to join a particular event or have I been to an event? Yes! I've gone to quite a few events that my character would go to and all of them have resulted in me shying away in a corner after trying to make a greeting response to a few people and either being ignored (I'd like to think it's just the scrolling chat log) or be told that they're not interested and that talking to two people is too much.

 

3. Have I tried scheduling RP with other people? Yes! They never logged and I stood there for a hour waiting. It's happened more than once and sadly I kinda gave up afterwards due to trust issues (plus afraaaaaid).

 

Conclusion, I suck at finding RP. I wish people would help me sometimes but even asking for help is a hard thing to do. As a result I'm not really RPing until Heavensward (my character is technically dead) and even then I'm spending the first few days I can get on due to server issues grinding AST.

[Grott]

And, of course, talking about things for which there can be no clear solution in a voluntary hobby with a fluid and decentralized population base isn't always going to fix issues either. 

 

But you want to make a general fix-all answer like "Try restarting your modem" that will only frustrate people more when it doesn't work..? I'm not really sure what the argument here is. 

 

You're basically arguing that we should proactively stop caring about helping people when they ask for it.

 

Maybe I'm not understanding what your point is, but it isn't holding together very well. You could just say "I don't care about this" instead of trying to justify your apathy. OR, you could just not read the thread.

[Shuck]

Yes, and when that happens, it is perfectly reasonable to post about it. I would nevertheless like to minimize the amount of people who need to post about it as much as possible. Because as other people in this particular shambling corpse have noted, sometimes you get people who are clearly posting without having tried restarting the metaphorical modem.

 

And, of course, talking about things for which there can be no clear solution in a voluntary hobby with a fluid and decentralized population base isn't always going to fix issues either. But it can make people unnecessarily unreasonable at each other about it.

 

Yeah, dialogues never solve anything. You're totally right. You have truly attained ~*~dark enlightenment~*~.

 

No, but for real, an open dialogue about issues that arise in any community (decentralized or otherwise) is a pretty clear route to eventually fixing problems, even if you have to address each case individually, and there's no silver bullet that fixes all the problems everywhere, forever.

 

Basically, it's a project, not a switch, and you're not 14 anymore, so this kind of thing is not only counter-productive, it's ill-informed. Or. As this other person said it:

 

Restarting your modem won't always fix internet issues, and sitting in brooding silence and just accepting things for the way they are won't always fix issues in a roleplay community.

 

Good on you, Addison. Some of us think it should be addressed. I agree with those people. I think it should be addressed. You can freely not address it. I don't care what you do. You're not going to stop me, though.

 

You're not even my real dad, I'll do what I want.

[Grott]

I'm not a new RPer, I've been at this for 5 months. 5 months of having trouble not only asking people if they want to RP but also to find some that's "free". Free, being that the RP is open and not a closed thing that's only for "my clique". 

 

1. Have I gone up to people and asked? Yes! I've burned up a massive amount of courage to do so (I'm actually terrified of people due to a mental issue) and I've always been shot down. Now admittedly I don't ask often mostly because, as I've said before, I'm scared of people. Yes, I am scared of YOU. Don't know why, but my mental issues pushes my brain to be afraid of people and OOC conversations. IC I'm not and it's all good.

 

2. Have I asked to join a particular event or have I been to an event? Yes! I've gone to quite a few events that my character would go to and all of them have resulted in me shying away in a corner after trying to make a greeting response to a few people and either being ignored (I'd like to think it's just the scrolling chat log) or be told that they're not interested and that talking to two people is too much.

 

3. Have I tried scheduling RP with other people? Yes! They never logged and I stood there for a hour waiting. It's happened more than once and sadly I kinda gave up afterwards due to trust issues (plus afraaaaaid).

 

Conclusion, I suck at finding RP. I wish people would help me sometimes but even asking for help is a hard thing to do. As a result I'm not really RPing until Heavensward (my character is technically dead) and even then I'm spending the first few days I can get on due to server issues grinding AST.

 

DURRRRR HAVE YOU TRIED RESTARTING YOUR MODEM? HURHURHURHURHURHUR

 

No, seriously, if you really can't find RP, look for one of us with a MSCRP tag and we will RP with you. There's no guarantee that you'll like us, but we'll RP with anyone who wants to RP with us.

[Addison]

But you want to make a general fix-all answer like "Try restarting your modem" that will only frustrate people more when it doesn't work..? I'm not really sure what the argument here is. 

 

You're basically arguing that we should proactively stop caring about helping people when they ask for it.

 

Maybe I'm not understanding what your point is, but it isn't holding together very well. You could just say "I don't care about this" instead of trying to justify your apathy. OR, you could just not read the thread.

 

I understood it as a means to stop potential arguments from arising. Arguing for the sake of arguing is counter-productive. However, I do not feel that assessment is accurate for this thread in particular. I do not feel this thread has degraded into petty arguments and insults and general shit talking so I personally don't see the harm in letting it continue.

 

I would think that the mods/admins of this board would lock this thread if it was anything other than a productive discussion. At least, that is my feeling when I glance at the rules.

[Shuck]

I'm not a new RPer, I've been at this for 5 months. 5 months of having trouble not only asking people if they want to RP but also to find some that's "free". Free, being that the RP is open and not a closed thing that's only for "my clique". 

 

1. Have I gone up to people and asked? Yes! I've burned up a massive amount of courage to do so (I'm actually terrified of people due to a mental issue) and I've always been shot down. Now admittedly I don't ask often mostly because, as I've said before, I'm scared of people. Yes, I am scared of YOU. Don't know why, but my mental issues pushes my brain to be afraid of people and OOC conversations. IC I'm not and it's all good.

 

2. Have I asked to join a particular event or have I been to an event? Yes! I've gone to quite a few events that my character would go to and all of them have resulted in me shying away in a corner after trying to make a greeting response to a few people and either being ignored (I'd like to think it's just the scrolling chat log) or be told that they're not interested and that talking to two people is too much.

 

3. Have I tried scheduling RP with other people? Yes! They never logged and I stood there for a hour waiting. It's happened more than once and sadly I kinda gave up afterwards due to trust issues (plus afraaaaaid).

 

Conclusion, I suck at finding RP. I wish people would help me sometimes but even asking for help is a hard thing to do. As a result I'm not really RPing until Heavensward (my character is technically dead) and even then I'm spending the first few days I can get on due to server issues grinding AST.

 

All of this fucking sucks.

 

Be reasonably afraid, but do hit us up. Seriously, whenever you see us. Throw us on your Friend's list if that helps.

 

You might be nobody, but so're we.

[Grott]

I would think that the mods/admins of this board would lock this thread if it was anything other than a productive discussion. At least, that is my feeling when I glance at the rules.

 

Ha... Yeah.... Boy would they...

[Verad]

But you want to make a general fix-all answer like "Try restarting your modem" that will only frustrate people more when it doesn't work..? I'm not really sure what the argument here is. 

 

You're basically arguing that we should proactively stop caring about helping people when they ask for it.

 

Maybe I'm not understanding what your point is, but it isn't holding together very well. You could just say "I don't care about this" instead of trying to justify your apathy. OR, you could just not read the thread.

 

What apathy? I'm keenly interested in this. Shuck said there are patterns in roleplay. This is true. If those common patterns have common solutions, why shouldn't we make people aware of common solutions first?

 

Unless you're suggesting that every situation is so unique that no one answer can be sufficient for more than one person at a time, it seems reasonable to provide a general "Here are some common solutions" thread that can be referenced at any time for new players expressing concerns.

 

Yes, I'm sure some players will be frustrated with that. Or maybe they've already tried that. Then take their claims in particular more seriously and address them with individual responses.

 

What you're misunderstanding is this: I would like to see this never be talked about not because there's a problem and it's convenient to not have to put up with it, but because there is no longer a problem to discuss. I presume nobody here wants to keep discussing a problem that no longer needs to be discussed?

[Shuck]

Ha... Yeah.... Boy would they...

 

Yeah, you should check out our record.

 

What apathy? I'm keenly interested in this. Shuck said there are patterns in roleplay. This is true. If those common patterns have common solutions, why shouldn't we make people aware of common solutions first?

 

We did. Well, you guys did. You people here. In the other pages.

 

Unless you're suggesting that every situation is so unique that no one answer can be sufficient for more than one person at a time, it seems reasonable to provide a general "Here are some common solutions" thread that can be referenced at any time for new players expressing concerns.

 

What we're dealing with presently are individuals who have come forward, stating rather plainly that the common solutions have not worked well for them.

 

Yes, I'm sure some players will be frustrated with that. Or maybe they've already tried that. Then take their claims in particular more seriously and address them with individual responses.

 

That's what we're doing.

 

What you're misunderstanding is this: I would like to see this never be talked about not because there's a problem and it's convenient to not have to put up with it, but because there is no longer a problem to discuss. I presume nobody here wants to keep discussing a problem that no longer needs to be discussed?

 

See above. What's happening now is addressing individuals that fall into a broader problem. And also this exchange, for reasons that are totally alien to me.

[Verad]

 

We did. Well, you guys did. You people here. In the other pages.

 

Great! Let's talk about those. In what way do you feel those references are lacking? If those address the most common solutions, what do you think is missing that isn't so wholly unique as to be within the realm of individual experience, but still out of the ordinary enough that it wouldn't be thought of when writing these kinds of guides? How can those problems be addressed?

[Kichiro Gunji]

I'm not a new RPer, I've been at this for 5 months. 5 months of having trouble not only asking people if they want to RP but also to find some that's "free". Free, being that the RP is open and not a closed thing that's only for "my clique". 

 

1. Have I gone up to people and asked? Yes! I've burned up a massive amount of courage to do so (I'm actually terrified of people due to a mental issue) and I've always been shot down. Now admittedly I don't ask often mostly because, as I've said before, I'm scared of people. Yes, I am scared of YOU. Don't know why, but my mental issues pushes my brain to be afraid of people and OOC conversations. IC I'm not and it's all good.

 

2. Have I asked to join a particular event or have I been to an event? Yes! I've gone to quite a few events that my character would go to and all of them have resulted in me shying away in a corner after trying to make a greeting response to a few people and either being ignored (I'd like to think it's just the scrolling chat log) or be told that they're not interested and that talking to two people is too much.

 

3. Have I tried scheduling RP with other people? Yes! They never logged and I stood there for a hour waiting. It's happened more than once and sadly I kinda gave up afterwards due to trust issues (plus afraaaaaid).

 

Conclusion, I suck at finding RP. I wish people would help me sometimes but even asking for help is a hard thing to do. As a result I'm not really RPing until Heavensward (my character is technically dead) and even then I'm spending the first few days I can get on due to server issues grinding AST.

 

 

I'm only on super late at night and on Sunday/ Monday's, but I'm always happy to find more folks to RP with. I created a character that is very open, so feel free to add Scorpio Shirica and I'd RP with you in the future if our schedules ever meet. 

 

Sucks you've had bad experiences, but unfortunately, I feel this will happen in every community numbering the hundreds (maybe thousands.) However, if you keep reaching out, then you are bound to find some good RP partners.

[Shuck]

Great! Let's talk about those. In what way do you feel those references are lacking? If those address the most common solutions, what do you think is missing that isn't so wholly unique as to be within the realm of individual experience, but still out of the ordinary enough that it wouldn't be thought of when writing these kinds of guides? How can those problems be addressed?

 

I don't. The people coming forward in this thread claiming that these common solutions don't work for them do.

 

I have no idea what point you're attempting to make here, or what messages you're reading at this point. It's honestly as if you're speaking another, far more incoherent language.

 

Let's reiterate:

 

What's happening in this thread. Here. Right now. Is a new couple of voices chiming in and saying "Yeah, I'm having the same problem, and here's what I did to try to fix it. It didn't work."

 

These are the people that are now being addressed. The primary method available to us is to put names out there, and say "Here. You can always find some kind of acknowledgement with this name, no matter the circumstances that you see it in."

 

There's never going to be a complete "fix it" list to troubles with interpersonal interactions.

 

So what are you on about now? Because if this exchange is what it looks to be, you're never going to change my mind on how ridiculous you are. You could quite literally spend every word, and busted attempt at sound reasoning that could ever exist in any multitude of realities, and I would still think that your initial dismissal was not only unwarranted, but counter-productive.

[Verad]

 

I don't. The people coming forward in this thread claiming that these common solutions don't work for them do.

 

I have no idea what point you're attempting to make here, or what messages you're reading at this point. It's honestly as if you're speaking another, far more incoherent language.

 

Let's reiterate:

 

What's happening in this thread. Here. Right now. Is a new couple of voices chiming in and saying "Yeah, I'm having the same problem, and here's what I did to try to fix it. It didn't work."

 

These are the people that are now being addressed. The primary method available to us is to put names out there, and say "Here. You can always find some kind of acknowledgement with this name, no matter the circumstances that you see it in."

 

There's never going to be a complete "fix it" list to troubles with interpersonal interactions.

 

So what are you on about now? Because if this exchange is what it looks to be, you're never going to change my mind on how ridiculous you are. You could quite literally spend every word, and busted attempt at sound reasoning that could ever exist in any multitude of realities, and I would still think that your initial dismissal was not only unwarranted, but counter-productive.

 

Something more useful and lasting than "Come play with Misericorde" in response to individual and specific calls for play posted to a single thread is going to be necessary for solving this problem. Otherwise, we can expect it to continue unless you plan to curate this thread for the foreseeable future.

 

If the goal is really just "Here, come play with Misericorde, we won't turn you away if you post here," then by all means, carry on!

[Shuck]

Something more useful and lasting than "Come play with Misericorde" in response to individual and specific calls for play posted to a single thread is going to be necessary for solving this problem. Otherwise, we can expect it to continue unless you plan to curate this thread for the foreseeable future.

 

If the goal is really just "Here, come play with Misericorde, we won't turn you away if you post here," then by all means, carry on!

 

The goal is manifold. This is the first suggestion that can be made a reality, given the short amount of time we've had boots on this proverbial ground.

 

You're still on about precisely nothing, by the way. You're also lending credence to the notion that the issue needs to be discussed, as no other lasting practical solution happens to exist. This means, in grownup world, that we need more information on what causes this issue to begin with.

 

Information that comes from an exchange between multiple parties, so that an aggregate with some kind of focus on cornerstones of the problem at hand can be formed.

 

Is there more you'd like to willfully ignore in an attempt to seem way cool and detached, or did you have another volume or two of words that signify jackshit to throw out there?

[Verad]

Something more useful and lasting than "Come play with Misericorde" in response to individual and specific calls for play posted to a single thread is going to be necessary for solving this problem. Otherwise, we can expect it to continue unless you plan to curate this thread for the foreseeable future.

 

If the goal is really just "Here, come play with Misericorde, we won't turn you away if you post here," then by all means, carry on!

 

The goal is manifold. This is the first suggestion that can be made a reality, given the short amount of time we've had boots on this proverbial ground.

 

You're still on about precisely nothing, by the way. You're also lending credence to the notion that the issue needs to be discussed, as no other lasting practical solution happens to exist. This means, in grownup world, that we need more information on what causes this issue to begin with.

 

Information that comes from an exchange between multiple parties, so that an aggregate with some kind of focus on cornerstones of the problem at hand can be formed.

 

Is there more you'd like to willfully ignore in an attempt to seem way cool and detached, or did you have another volume or two of words that signify jackshit to throw out there?

 

Well, since you asked, how do you plan on collecting this information? What would you consider to be the end goal of a lasting practical solution? Do you have any ideas as to what you would do for a longer-term plan beyond inviting players to roleplay with your FC?

[Shuck]

Well, since you asked, how do you plan on collecting this information? What would you consider to be the end goal of a lasting practical solution? Do you have any ideas as to what you would do for a longer-term plan beyond inviting players to roleplay with your FC?

 

You're looking at the method of collecting this information. Right now, this thread has eyes on it, and people are coming forward. I'm currently waiting on an earlier question to be answered, concerning what makes an individual feel "unwanted". From there, we're going to branch into another series of pretty non-invasive questions regarding their perception of where it is they are within a roleplaying community.

 

Over time, and with more specific information from people sharing their experiences, we can, at the very least, personally adopt behaviors that would run counter to this idea of secret cliques and circles of people. Then, we can add what it is that we've worked out, in detail, to the list of "here's how you fix it" suggestions, and see what takes. We will do this over, and over, and over again. In every single community we pop up in. Probably until we quit playing games all together.

 

Realistically, that's about the best anyone can hope for. If what we find works, others might adopt it, they might not. I don't control other people.

[Verad]

You're looking at the method of collecting this information. Right now, this thread has eyes on it, and people are coming forward. I'm currently waiting on an earlier question to be answered, concerning what makes an individual feel "unwanted". From there, we're going to branch into another series of pretty non-invasive questions regarding their perception of where it is they are within a roleplaying community.

 

Realistically, that's about the best anyone can hope for. If what we find works, others might adopt it, they might not. I don't control other people.

 

I certainly wouldn't expect this to be a full statistical survey given the nature of the project (that's not a strike against this), but how do you address the problem of a small sample size and the problem of self-reporting in public fora? I think that might be especially an issue here if people are hesitant to admit they've felt unwanted in open discussion where other people can see, so do you plan to have a private means for such players to come forward?

[Shuck]

I certainly wouldn't expect this to be a full statistical survey given the nature of the project (that's not a strike against this), but how do you address the problem of a small sample size and the problem of self-reporting in public fora? I think that might be especially an issue here if people are hesitant to admit they've felt unwanted in open discussion where other people can see, so do you plan to have a private means for such players to come forward?

 

You basically don't. You work with what you've got. What we've got is this. A private means doesn't really lend itself to this as, well...PMs already exist on this platform, and you already have as much anonymity as the internet can provide.

[Max]

Lol. This thread again.

 

My two cents on it's continuation:

If there's a need to discuss this 'issue', it would serve better to create a new thread instead of necro'ing this particular one IMHO. Mainly because the context of the OP isn't a good representation for this 'issue', nor does it seem relevant to whatever you guys are arguing about now.

 

Quoted for Emphasis:

This is the relationship that some of us who were there when this thread was originally posted had with the author. Someone who came to the community on a couple occasions asking for help, but either didn't put in much effort (look at the posting dates) or snubbed those who reached out. And then sort of turned around and blamed the community.

 

It's fine that people want to discuss that it's sometimes hard to break into RP. And it's fine that people want to offer advice to help others break into RP. It's just that those who are aware of the actual context of the OP would rather see this particular thread fall into obscurity and not be necro'd. 

 

That's all.

[Kellach Woods]

This, however, is productive. Why. Why do you want to feel wanted? What makes you feel unwanted? Let's get uncomfortably specific here.

yes please let us ask deeply personal questions from strangers on the internets.

 

no i won't be answering that.

 

especially since the context was explained in the other line you omitted. people ain't been around is all.

[Lilia Lia]

I'm sorry, but isn't it perfectly natural to want to feel wanted?

[Kellach Woods]

sure

 

but then you go into the whys and the uncomfortably specific which is what he asked.

[Lilia Lia]

sure

 

but then you go into the whys and the uncomfortably specific which is what he asked.

 

Oh absolutely, I'm in your corner.  I don't think you need to explain yourself at all.

[Kichiro Gunji]

I feel wanted by my friends and family, maybe a gaming guild I've been in for awhile for Star Citizen, but I don't understand wanting to be desired by a huge body of isolated authors that may very rarely interact with me. These sorts of communities seem to be resources, gateways, etc. to find more intimate communities with which to feel wanted. Maybe the linkshells or Free Companies may provide what you are looking for, but I find it difficult to understand wanting to be validated by so many people on a community site such as this. 

 

Nothing against the wonderful people that populate this site, but there's far too many for me to think of personally investing in everyone here.

[Orlog]

I don't understand wanting to be desired by a huge body of isolated authors that may very rarely interact with me. These sorts of communities seem to be resources, gateways, etc. to find more intimate communities with which to feel wanted. Maybe the linkshells or Free Companies may provide what you are looking for, but I find it difficult to understand wanting to be validated by so many people on a community site such as this. 

 

I can pretty much mirror this mentality. I think this place is great for trying to get yourself out there and finding something that specifically meets your needs/wants as an RPer, but the desire to be wanted by ...everyone on this huge community is not only bizarre, but literally unobtainable.

 

There are SO many people on this site and active in game. You're not going to get along with everyone. Not everyone is going to like you. There's no way of forcing friendship through just being nice or agreeable.

 

The best that you can hope for is just continuing to do what you enjoy, put yourself out there and hope that you manage to stumble across people that are up your alley, instead of trying to cater to the lowest common denominator. Like, uh... tossing your line out in The Quicksand, for example.