Feedback on new character [closed]

[NDeer]

Update 10/19: Thread is closed as I have finalized on her backstory (link below to those interested). Thanks again for all your feedback/ support, and hopefully see ya'll in game. 

 

Update 10/7: Thread is closed for now as character is being reworked.

 

Hello,

 

I'm new to RP and have just created a wiki for my char:

 

http://tiny.cc/ndeer

 

Mostly I'm still reading up as much as possible on the lore, and may be missing out on a lot of potentially interesting facts that might help flesh her out more. Or there might be some parts that don't adhere well.

 

Also if you have any tips on how to make her even more interesting, or have suggestions on any fun story lines she might be able to do (dark themes ok), please share away! Thanks!

[kamikrazy]

Uhh...I thought the whole deer hybrid thing was just folklore in the first paragraph, but the second makes it clear that you are being quite literal.

 

Honestly this idea is very uhmmm...strange. There's plenty of in-game "split personality" mechanisms you could use with the classes (warrior inner beast, dark knight's whole quest line) instead that while kind of cheesey in their own right, at least they make sense/exist within the lore

[Raccoon]

Hm, well, I'm having trouble imagining how a deer knocked up a miqo'te. No, wait, now I'm imagining it but I still can't understand how it's possible. And what in her ludicrous deer ancestry managed to give her a split personality? A traumatic event like, say, a hunter killing her mom? If so, you may as well re-name her Bambi.

[Unnamed Mercenary]

Contrary to their fluffy ears and tails, Miqo'te are said to have decided from the same common ancestor as Elezen, Hyur, Lalafell and Roegadyn. (We're not really sure if Au Ra fall into this too, but it's likely they do).

 

Split personality and other character traits seem fine, but the deer heritage is perhaps too much of a stretch. (In the same way that a person can't be part-dog or part-cactuar in the game).

[Verad]

I don't feel like you're developing the deer side of this enough. Can you include more deer?

[Caspar]

Underestimate her at your own peril. As the squirrelmancer in a certain comic universe defeated every strong opponent, so too will Deerborn topple the WoL. Then, you will have a new Goddess.

 

Better yet, why even bother withthe Miqo'te part? Just make a literal deer character.

[Flashhelix]

I really have trouble buying that she's part-deer unless she has a deer head instead of a person's head.

[NDeer]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. The deer part was there because I adore deers... but it seems like it has to go as it's straying too far from the lore. (I had a great time reading some of the funny deer comments though lol).

 

Character re-work in progress!

[Nero]

Really, being a deer is almost entirely about context. "Deer" and "not a deer" pretty much boil down to the same thing; people often write the traits first, and the deer second. Generally speaking, deer characters aren't annoying because of the traits themselves (though in some cases it certainly doesn't help). A deer character isn't necessarily annoying to a lot of people because they turn run from wolves or become delicious venison, but because their traits are more or less written in a way that says "Please see me as a deer". It's essentially a plea for others to look at the character as a deer without actually engaging in the meaningful interactions that, well, make the character a deer.

 

At the same time, non-deer characters are certainly capable of falling into the same trap of being, intentionally or inadvertently, written as a deer that just happens to have a character attached to it as opposed to a character that just so happens to be a deer. It's the difference between designing the chassis before the engine, or vice versa, the engine being the character's personality that drives things forward and the chassis being the "unique" traits or abilities that decorate it. And yes, some people consider it pretty important to have a nice looking chassis, but it's not the pretty chassis that determines whether or not you can be a deer in the first place.

 

A character's status as a deer can be played in such a way that is identical to the non-deer character: "Please acknowledge my character as a deer". Non-deer characters can be just as irritating to deal with as deer characters.

 

So how do you avoid this? That can be a difficult question to answer, but the short answer is "Don't force anything."

 

As I'm ever so fond of saying, it depends on the context. When introducing your character as a deer to other characters, some people are attracted to the pretty chassis and want to interact with that and its implications. Some people don't care about the aesthetics and only want to see how your character is, in fact, a deer.

 

There are some fairly safe things to use. When introducing your character, don't make overt attempts to make their status as a deer relevant. Give it a sentence or two. Less than a paragraph. And if the traits aren't relevant, then don't crowbar them in or try to draw attention to them. Let your engine do the driving--the deer--and if other characters on their own notice the pretty chassis--the non-deer--then great, you can roll with it. And don't get bent out of shape if characters don't immediately acknowledge you as a deer.

 

Let their interest in venison and your hybrid deer grow naturally.