Too much RP?

[Tortles]

I have often found myself in situations where my potential RP partners are all at events, whether the same event or different events. I'm not into events as frequently anymore, and it seems like there's one almost every night, many of them recurring and pulling a large audience. Many of them also occupy a large chunk of time and encourage people to stay the entire time.

 

It's not keeping me from RP overall, because I can make time with close RP partners to do what we want to do, but I do frequently find myself in "Hey X, you wanna do that scene we were talkin about?" "I'm at the event."

 

I do enjoy events from time to time. I'm a member of Crescent, and I go to all of our main events if I'm available, but I don't routinely make it to other server events. At the end of the day there are always people to RP with if you really try, just have to compete for a spot sometimes.

[Syranelle Ironleaf]

The biggest "enemy" of busy people is time itself.  We all play this game to have fun and decompress from spending the day in Real Life.  Sometimes we log on to RP, other times we just want to PVE or craft, just have some time to ourselves to rest and recharge without having to put in a whole lot of social time.  Most people have jobs or school or families that need them, so that means they have a limited number of hours to play in a given session.  That oftentimes means that they book that time in advance to do things."

 

I'm going to do stuff for my Anima on Tuesday after the reset.

Oh, I have that RP event on X-day that I've been wanting to go to.

I'd like to get my X-craft to 60 so I can make XYZ-thing.

 

All of these take time, some more than others; roleplay takes up more time than anything else, since sessions can go from just one hour to omgwhatamistilldoinghere marathon sessions.  It's also why people tend to be hesitant to "overbook" themselves, as it were.  

 

I usually think of it in these terms:  Prime Time RP hours are between 6pm Eastern and midnight.  An 'average' RP session (for me, at least) is two hours, therefore, I never ask for or expect RP after 10pm, because that would go over my idealized 'operating hours' for roleplay.

 

If someone says no or says they're otherwise engaged, people shouldn't take that to mean "I never want to do anything with you, ever," which is half the problem.  The other half of the problem is that people don't make an effort to connect, even when their answer is no.

 

How to combat the "Dreaded No's"

 

 

If you are the one being asked:  Don't just say "no" when someone inquires, say something more along the lines of, "I'm currently occupied with XYZ at the moment, but if you'd like to RP then I'd be more than happy to!"  

 

As someone who gets asked a lot, I keep a personal calendar of RP invitations I'm given and I schedule things accordingly.  I also make sure to keep appointments that I make.  Nothing puts people off more than cancellations, because they're basically blocking off some of that precious time commodity specifically for you.  

 

 

Especially make it a point to reschedule if you know for sure you're going to miss a session.  Don't neglect to tell someone you aren't going to be around (even if you just leave a note by Moogle Mail, by PM, or word-of-mouth through friends) -- barring Real Life emergencies, of course.  Scheduling a session, then failing to show up without an explanation basically shows your potential partner that their time is not important to you, which makes them less inclined to be so generous with it later.

 

If you are the one asking:  If the answer is "no" then ask for a different day/time to do the thing you want to do.  "Oh, okay, if you're busy tonight, how about we do XYZ on ?"  

 

Have a plan.  If you're the one asking, you should have something in mind for the scene.  "Slice-of-life" let's sit around and idle-chat is all well and good, but it gets stale pretty quickly if that's all you ever have to offer.  A plan doesn't have to be elaborate, it just has to be something different and engaging.

 

Don't get discouraged.  Just because the answer is "no" today doesn't mean that it will be the same tomorrow.  Even if the answer is no seven times in a row, there will come a time that the answer will be yes.  

 

Diversify!  If you find that the answer is no a lot within your present circle of friends, try branching out and going to events, meeting new people, and diversifying your circle some.  

 

Time is a finite resource for everyone and we have to share that, respect it, and take care of it.  Not just on our own end, but for everyone in our circle that we're involved with.

[Eses Fafa]

Honestly, I have to disagree. These events as a whole are no more than filler. It's usually tavern events, concerts, tournaments and the like which everyone will have seen a dozen times over if they go that often.

 

Now if there's an FC event going on or there's a genuinely interesting event occurring which advances story, you're buggered, but often times, these kinds of refusal are often just signs they're just not interested.

 

I know this because I've done it several times to someone else who was somehow more eager for RP than I was..and that's rare considering I play on four different MMOs just for RP.

A lot of the time, people come out of the floorboards to enter roleplay if you're already in one, or they're aware that something more than idle chit-chat will be going on. My advice is to get someone who's at least almost universally liked and willing and initiate an RP with them. Stuff just sorta ramps up from there.

[Faye]

Now if there's an FC event going on or there's a genuinely interesting event occurring which advances story, you're buggered, but often times, these kinds of refusal are often just signs they're just not interested.

 

I don't really think that's fair to say, just because you've done it before and we all might have used it as an excuse once or twice. You may feel most events are just filler, but others genuinely do enjoy them or sometimes want to show up and stick around just to support the community and/or the host. Your feelings aren't universal. Syranelle really put it well. MMO's are intentional time sinks and that's not even considering how much real life and other hobbies might eat up our time and energy. A lot of us make plans in advance, be it "last week my friend asked me to RP tonight" or "I planned to hit 60 today" or "I really wanna check out that event I saw on the RPC last night."

 

Now typically, if I'm at an event and someone wants to role-play, or if I'm already in a role-play that's open, I will say "I'm already doing ____, but you can come join me." I'm not always going to drop whatever I'm already doing for someone, but if it's something they can join me in, the more the merrier. If the response someone is giving doesn't have the invitation to join them tacked on, it could mean they are politely declining RPing with you in general, or it could just mean that the event/RP is closed/private or even just that the person doesn't have the best social graces and didn't think at the time to invite you. I don't think it's fair to yourself to assume every rejection means "I don't want to RP with you ever" because that's being overly harsh on yourself and how you think others see you (and ultimately just denying yourself opportunities), and I don't think it's fair to others to presume they have ulterior motives or dislike you when they may just be genuinely busy.