Transgender FtM Top Surgery Fundraiser

[Gone4everbye]

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[align=center]Click here to see the fundraiser![/align]

 

Hello~

 

So, I know I'm relatively new here and it might be in poor taste to ask for help from strangers, but I need help!

 

I am a transgendered man--meaning that I was born as a female but identify as a male. I first began presenting as a male in early 2009. Before that, I gave very little thought to my gender, aside from the times my family complained that I "dress like a boy" and should wear makeup and dress more feminine. At a young age, in fact, I protested when my family would call me "pretty," and in to my teens I loathed myself every time I tried to defy my own natural, comfortable aesthetic to please my parents and extended family with hyper-femininity.

 

You may have heard me in mumble if you've ever been in the Intermission mumble, and might note that I sound like any other regular guy. This is because I began the hormone replacement stage of my transition a year ago, tomorrow. This has caused my voice to drop, and has stimulated facial hair growth, also affecting my muscle growth and fat distribution. It's amazing, encouraging process. For the most part, I pass as a male in public--but only when dressed in a way that disguises my chest.

 

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Top surgery is a hurdle. It is a very important step for me, and the only one that I feel I need right now. Not having top surgery has caused numerous issues for me. I use binders to try to flatten my chest, but because I have a cupsize somewhere between a high-C and a low-D, it is virtually impossible to flatten myself enough to appear to have a masculine chest. My binders are tight. I have been wearing them daily with some weekend exceptions for 4 years now, and I'm starting to develop back problems and shoulder aches. I am also sometimes short of breath. Binders are also an expense I have to splurge on regularly since they get stretched out and become even less effective over time. They also cause hygiene issues for me. As you can imagine, squashing your flesh against itself regularly is not good. I have experienced chafing, rashing, and acne. When trying to treat the acne, I've suffered painful dryness and scratchiness. It's hurting my skin overall. Since the only effective material is pretty rough, it also scratches and irritates the flesh on my back, and sometimes rolls and painfully pinches my hips.

 

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I was quoted $6,500 for doctor's fees, $2,000 - $4,000 for the operating room and anesthesia, and $500 for an overnight stay, which one can't really say is necessary or unnecessary until after the surgery, really. That's a total of $11,000. I set my fundraiser to $12,000 to cover the portion of funds that IndieGogo takes at the end of the 2-month drive.

 

I have a decently paying entry-level job, but it's not the best. Catching up on missed bills and trying to fix my abysmal credit has made it impossible for me to put away money. At one point I was able to save $500, but had to tap in to it to catch up on bills later. I was only able to make that because I was working 60+ hours a week for a few weeks.

 

If I don't make the goal, I will take what I've made and put it away in a new account in a different bank where I can't dig in to it in the event of a financial crisis. This is exclusively for my chest surgery, and nothing else. If I make the goal and the surgery is cheaper than anticipated, or I made more than my target goal, I will redistribute the extra money to similar fundraisers, and will not pocket any of it.

 

My surgery will happen in Illinois. I will cover the expense of a hotel and travel costs on my own. I am very familiar with the area and know how to keep that affordable.

 

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There are incentives for donating, ranging from asking questions, to art, to sculpey figurines, to videos and websites. They cost more than a normal commission price because they are not necessarily commissions. They're just rewards for being so generous. I am still a ways away from actually starting a side business doing commissions. I'll probably start that in October or November.

 

If you cannot donate, putting the word out there for me would help me immensely. The more people know about the fundraiser, the more likely it is I'll receive donations. This is to help me pass, and ultimately, to help me feel right in my own skin, which would vastly improve my quality of life and self-confidence.

 

Thank you for reading this thread, and thank you in advance to those of you who intend to help out however you are able with incredible respect for your own personal needs and priorities, both financially and time-related.

 

[align=center]Click here to see the fundraiser!

 

 

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[Salty Lake]

Some of my friends have had top surgery and been very happy afterwards.  Best of luck to you!

[Aysun]

I guess my biggest question, being a healtcare professional.. Does your insurance not help at all with this sort of surgery because it's "optional"?

[halceeuhn]

All the support in the world!

 

*Brofist*

[Gone4everbye]

I guess my biggest question, being a healtcare professional.. Does your insurance not help at all with this sort of surgery because it's "optional"?

They consider it "cosmetic" still. There are some insurance plans that are starting to cover it, but only for certain plans. I have Aetna through my employer, but Aetna only covers transitional surgery if you're a college student on their high-premium student plan. x.x

[Aysun]

Laaaaaame. Best of luck!

[Domri Blackblade]

You are very handsome! Like I said in Skype, I'll be sure to contribute in any way I can.

[AetherBaby]

Hi Nik  

 

One of my best friends in the whole world is also a trans man who had top surgery last year, I went ahead and bookmarked your fundraiser's site and I'm going to ask him about which forums we could post a link to to get the word out for you a little.

 

I am currently unable to offer money contributions, but will try in the future! Good luck with everything! :thumbsup:  :love:  :moogle:

[synaesthetic]

I didn't even know it was legal to use crowdfunding like this without a product or service to deliver. :dodgy:

 

Now I feel like I should do something like this... because short of winning the lottery it's probably never going to happen and I'm just going to be miserable for my entire life. 

 

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

[Gone4everbye]

Hi Nik  

 

One of my best friends in the whole world is also a trans man who had top surgery last year, I went ahead and bookmarked your fundraiser's site and I'm going to ask him about which forums we could post a link to to get the word out for you a little.

 

I am currently unable to offer money contributions, but will try in the future! Good luck with everything! :thumbsup:  :love:  :moogle:

That'd be awesome! Thanks so much. Stay in touch.

[Aysun]

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

 

Why are they terminally unemployable? I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

[Gone4everbye]

I didn't even know it was legal to use crowdfunding like this without a product or service to deliver. :dodgy:

 

Now I feel like I should do something like this... because short of winning the lottery it's probably never going to happen and I'm just going to be miserable for my entire life. 

 

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

Aw, don't sell it short! I've been keeping my eye on indiegogo for a while, and watching the various trans-related fundraisers. Some have fallen abysmally short, but others have been ridiculously successful. I was watching the January Rising fundraiser as it was going on. I dunno what she did to get the word out there other than having really resourceful friends, but I saw her fund shoot up from 5k to 15k in a matter of weeks. It was awesome.

[Naunet]

Why are they terminally unemployable? I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

 

When you identify as one gender but your body presents as another - and your official records do as well (it's /really/ expensive and difficult to get an official name change) - it gives people all kinds of reasons to hate you and, consequentially, not employ you. It's a huge problem. In most states, trans people still aren't even covered under non-discrimination clauses either.

[Gone4everbye]

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

 

Why are they terminally unemployable? I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

A lot of trans people have a really hard time finding employment. Only 17 states legally protect gender identity from workplace/hiring discrimination. Even in the states that do protect you, there's a hiring bias that some employers aren't hesitant to exercise and blame on other factors. It's impossible to prove they were discriminating based on gender identity in most cases, it seems.

 

If you're mid-transition, it can be really awkward. For instance, I am looking for a different job now and am running in to the legal snag. I am still legally female (in my state, you have to have some surgery to change your identification, with few exceptions), but I outwardly appear and sound like a male... except for my chest. >.> Can't ninja my way under the radar, nor can anyone really who hasn't transitioned legally and physically in a convincing manner.

[synaesthetic]

Yeah I doubt I'd be that lucky. For one, I'm nowhere near as attractive as she is, and if you think that didn't help her then I've got some oceanfront property on Mars to sell you at a reasonable price. Secondly, the number of friends I have can be counted on one hand.

 

Not really much chance of that ever happening. I've pretty much just resigned myself to being stuck like this forever. When you're poor, you have no power, no agency, no control over your life.

[allgivenover]

I'm working on ways to get the word out for this, it kind of hinges on campus being crowded again come fall though.

[Gone4everbye]

Yeah I doubt I'd be that lucky. For one, I'm nowhere near as attractive as she is, and if you think that didn't help her then I've got some oceanfront property on Mars to sell you at a reasonable price. Secondly, the number of friends I have can be counted on one hand.

 

Not really much chance of that ever happening. I've pretty much just resigned myself to being stuck like this forever. When you're poor, you have no power, no agency, no control over your life.

You should check out the Jim Collins foundation. http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/ They award surgery grants to transpeople. I heard about them literally 3 days after the cutoff for this year's application period. They do it every year, so keep your eye on them.

 

I have terrible credit or I'd take out a loan for this stuff. Til then, just gotta keep trying to fund! If you have someone who supports you strongly, or you yourself have some talent for marketing, you should still try doing a fundraiser. The one thing you can't do, though, is just open the fundraiser and meander off. I've had this open for three days and I've been hitting up every social avenue and connection I can think to hit up. All but one of my funders thus far have been people I've known for a few years. Not a lot of stranger traffic coming in yet.

[Salty Lake]

Yeah I doubt I'd be that lucky. For one, I'm nowhere near as attractive as she is, and if you think that didn't help her then I've got some oceanfront property on Mars to sell you at a reasonable price. Secondly, the number of friends I have can be counted on one hand.

 

Not really much chance of that ever happening. I've pretty much just resigned myself to being stuck like this forever. When you're poor, you have no power, no agency, no control over your life.

Ugh, and more vulnerable to violence, too.  I wish the mainstream gay rights movement prioritized transgender issues.  We have gay marriage in my state, which is all well and good, but getting married doesn't really solve poverty, unemployment, legal discrimination, homelessness etc. experienced disproportionately by transgender people (and queer people in general).

[Ellie]

So many things to donate to this month, I'll have to wait until next month to contribute anything. I'm trans too (MtF) so I know exactly how you feel. I really hope you can make your goal.

[S'demyx Tia]

All the support in the world!

 

*Brofist*

 

Oooh a fellow bro!!

 

 

Best of luck to you OP. An ex of mine was FTM. (With him all the way from pre-op/pre-T to post-op/on T). So I know how difficult this time can be.

[Gone4everbye]

Yeah I doubt I'd be that lucky. For one, I'm nowhere near as attractive as she is, and if you think that didn't help her then I've got some oceanfront property on Mars to sell you at a reasonable price. Secondly, the number of friends I have can be counted on one hand.

 

Not really much chance of that ever happening. I've pretty much just resigned myself to being stuck like this forever. When you're poor, you have no power, no agency, no control over your life.

Ugh, and more vulnerable to violence, too.  I wish the mainstream gay rights movement prioritized transgender issues.  We have gay marriage in my state, which is all well and good, but getting married doesn't really solve poverty, unemployment, legal discrimination, homelessness etc. experienced disproportionately by transgender people (and queer people in general).

Not to mention the high rate of suicide attempts. Around 41%. I am happy that gay rights are moving forward, but it sucks to sometimes find that cisgendered people for gay rights, including some gay and lesbian people themselves, can be a little hostile towards transgendered people for one reason or another. Gay marriage just kicked in in my state 9 days ago.

[Zyrusticae]

Mate, I have tremendous, absolute respect for you for going through with this stuff.

 

While I can't promise sending any funds your way (I live with a family that's constantly toeing the poverty line and only work part time myself), you have my unmitigated support and I wish you all the luck in the world on your endeavor.

 

Also, I'm incredibly bloody jealous of you right now. I can't even think of transitioning right now due to both my family and monetary situations, plus the process of a MtF transition is somewhat more limited than the FtM transition (no real change to the voice, for example). And, er, there's the part where I'm only biologically transexual and am otherwise ambiguously gendered... Man, this world has a sick sense of humor sometimes, producing someone as dysfunctional as myself. But I digress. This isn't about me, heh.

 

I'll see if I can't get anyone I know to throw some funds your way. Good luck, man!

[Gone4everbye]

Many thanks, Zyru. I remember learning that you were trans back in the day in this thread. :3

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully it gets better soon.

[Kyouri]

Good luck. I don't have money to spare right now but I hope you can manage to raise some. I had an expensive surgery done myself that ended up costing about $14k or so after interest rates for a deformity I had. So not really the same thing but i know how hard it can be to pay off an expensive surgery to feel "normal" finally. I paid it off all by myself but it took a few years and I put the main surgery cost on a CareCredit card, not sure if that would be an option for you. But if you can get enough to at least put down on the surgery, maybe you would able to work out something like that to pay the rest down slowly.

[Salty Lake]

Not to mention the high rate of suicide attempts. Around 41%. I am happy that gay rights are moving forward, but it sucks to sometimes find that cisgendered people for gay rights, including some gay and lesbian people themselves, can be a little hostile towards transgendered people for one reason or another. Gay marriage just kicked in in my state 9 days ago.

Yeah, there's still a lot of work to be done.  Mainstream gay rights organizations like HRC have even sacrificed trans issues to try and appear more mainstream.  Organizations have done that with us bi/pan folks too but not to the same extent.  I actually have gotten more biphobia from lesbians than straight people; think I am not really queer, selling out when dating male-assigned people, etc.  (For disclosure, I am not really into binary gender for myself but mostly regarded as a ciswoman.)