Transgender FtM Top Surgery Fundraiser

[Domri Blackblade]

Yeah, there's still a lot of work to be done.  Mainstream gay rights organizations like HRC have even sacrificed trans issues to try and appear more mainstream.  Organizations have done that with us bi/pan folks too but not to the same extent.  I actually have gotten more biphobia from lesbians than straight people; think I am not really queer, selling out when dating male-assigned people, etc.  (For disclosure, I am not really into binary gender for myself but mostly regarded as a ciswoman.)

 

That's really a shame. One of my two best friends is an FtM. He actually just got a job and is so excited, but yeah even some of his fellow LGBT coworkers are a little jilted by his sexual identity.

 

And I am a lesbian, but I know exactly what you mean about the misguided views lesbians tend to have on bisexual women. Every time I see: "Well, she said she was bi, but she ended up marrying a man. Guess she really was just straight." I just roll my eyes. And I rebuttal, "So if she married a woman, she'd really be a lesbian?"

 

Somehow that never seems to piece together.

[Salty Lake]

 

That's really a shame. One of my two best friends is an FtM. He actually just got a job and is so excited, but yeah even some of his fellow LGBT coworkers are a little jilted by his sexual identity.

 

And I am a lesbian, but I know exactly what you mean about the misguided views lesbians tend to have on bisexual women. Every time I see: "Well, she said she was bi, but she ended up marrying a man. Guess she really was just straight." I just roll my eyes. And I rebuttal, "So if she married a woman, she'd really be a lesbian?"

 

Somehow that never seems to piece together.

 

Yeah, it's like you become the sexual orientation to match whomever you marry!  I actually have a bi friend married to a woman and she has to remind folks "no, I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi."  I'm in a relationship with a bi guy and we have a similar conversation, except we have to say, "nope, not straight, still like all genders!"

 

I hand out with lesbians a lot (I'm in the Xena: Warrior Princess fandom) and 70% of folks are cool and accepting, but sometimes they'll get on rants about bi girls on their Facebooks and how they never date them because they'll talk about how they miss penises (what? who says this to their lover?) or end up leaving them for a man.

[LandStander]

I didn't realize we had such a large transgender community here ^^.

 

I bookmarked your page and will pass around to some of my like-minded friends. School is starting in about 2 weeks and I had to front all the money for books and classes so I am living off of pocket lint (which sadly the grocery store doesn't seem to consider bartering material), but I should be back on my feet in a month so I can donate then.

 

Edit: Just wanted to add..Asmodian Santa !!! lololol

[Asyria]

Best of luck to you!

Unfortunately, I'm way to poor to donate anything.. heck if I was anywhere else than Canada I'd need a fundraiser too for my health. ^^;

[Gone4everbye]

(I'm in the Xena: Warrior Princess fandom)

...You're my new best friend, kay?

 

I cosplayed as Ares once. It was well before I could ever grow facial hair so I liberally drew on a beard. Anywho, I'm part of the "Xenaversity of Minnesota" and one of the web groups petitioning for a Xena movie. So, ya know. Represent! o/

 

The Xenaversity of Minnesota's run by a gay man. :3

 

I didn't realize we had such a large transgender community here ^^.

 

I bookmarked your page and will pass around to some of my like-minded friends. School is starting in about 2 weeks and I had to front all the money for books and classes so I am living off of pocket lint (which sadly the grocery store doesn't seem to consider bartering material), but I should be back on my feet in a month so I can donate then.

 

Edit: Just wanted to add..Asmodian Santa !!! lololol

Sounds good! And glad you like the Asmo-Santa. :3 I did a video a long time ago about Solorius, too. Santa was a no-show because he was busy defending the Asmodian people from the evil Elyos and Balaur, so his present to Asmodae was LIFE.

 

/deeeep

[Rhio]

Not to mention the high rate of suicide attempts. Around 41%. I am happy that gay rights are moving forward, but it sucks to sometimes find that cisgendered people for gay rights, including some gay and lesbian people themselves, can be a little hostile towards transgendered people for one reason or another. Gay marriage just kicked in in my state 9 days ago.

 

I think a lot of that is a simple matter of visibility and the challenges involved. It's a lot easier to see a person who identifies as homosexual as normal by experience, while transgender folks aren't as easily recognized. That, and a lot of people growing up now have had the idea that homosexuality is normal drilled into their heads, but a similar movement has yet to take place for trans folk.

 

Me, I do what I can. I'm a straight white cis male, the best I can do is be aware and be supportive and inclusive and try to raise awareness. If I have the free money after my next paycheck, I'll be sure to kick some your way.

[Ellie]

I didn't realize we had such a large transgender community here ^^.

 

I didn't either, actually, I keep thinking I'm the only one. Actually I might be the only MtF here, from the looks of it. <__<

[Zyrusticae]

I didn't either, actually, I keep thinking I'm the only one. Actually I might be the only MtF here, from the looks of it. <__<

Heh, not the only one. See:

Many thanks, Zyru. I remember learning that you were trans back in the day in this thread. :3

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully it gets better soon.

Well, in all honesty, it's not too bad. Since I'm somewhat ambiguously gendered it's easier for me to just kind of 'live with it', as opposed to someone who's, say, unambiguously feminine who would almost certainly have a harder time of it. (By the way, Teranu/T'rahnu are kind of like my ideal self, which should give you an idea of just how confusing things can be with regards to my gender, heh.) Also, video games and RP tend to help. One of the reasons I spend so much time in PSO2 is simply because I can live vicariously through my own characters, as limited as that may be.

 

My rather extreme social anxiety also precludes the possibility of being able to live through the social ostracization I'd go through if I actually went through a transition, as well. I have a hard enough finding a job as it is... I can't imagine how difficult it would be with that added hardship. Hence, anyone willing to actually go through that sort of thing must be respected. That's rough stuff.

[Eve Malusion]

I didn't realize we had such a large transgender community here ^^.

 

I didn't either, actually, I keep thinking I'm the only one. Actually I might be the only MtF here, from the looks of it. <__<

You're not.

 

 

...I'll just leave it at that, not a topic I'm comfortable talking about.

[synaesthetic]

I didn't realize we had such a large transgender community here ^^.

 

I didn't either, actually, I keep thinking I'm the only one. Actually I might be the only MtF here, from the looks of it. <__<

 

Nope. I am also!

 

That's why I started Unity--because normal PvE endgame guilds filled with bigoted homophobic tryhards, and then a trans girl getting on vent? With the "wrong" voice for the perceived gender? That's not a pretty picture, let me tell you. I speak from experience.

 

So yeah. The whole point of my FC is so that people can feel comfortable with who they are and still clear content, still make use of voice chat in progression raids where not having it would be a clear disadvantage. Members of Unity can feel comfortable knowing that if someone repeatedly uses the wrong pronouns with them (especially on purpose) then that person will be punished for their misbehavior.

[Gone4everbye]

Plenty of transgender ladies here. I know of at least one other transman in the RP community too.

 

I think of roleplay sort of like performing arts avenues, which generally attract some GLBTQIA people. My hypothesis is that it has to do with expression and acceptance. RP communities, like theatre companies, generally tend to be more progressive than the general public.

[Rhio]

My hypothesis is that it has to do with expression and acceptance. RP communities, like theatre companies, generally tend to be more progressive than the general public.

 

I prefer to think that if you spend enough of your free time trying to put yourself in the mindset of another person, it's really hard to close yourself back off and assume that you have a monopoly on the right way to think or feel.

[Salty Lake]

(I'm in the Xena: Warrior Princess fandom)

...You're my new best friend, kay?

 

I cosplayed as Ares once. It was well before I could ever grow facial hair so I liberally drew on a beard. Anywho, I'm part of the "Xenaversity of Minnesota" and one of the web groups petitioning for a Xena movie. So, ya know. Represent! o/

 

The Xenaversity of Minnesota's run by a gay man. :3

The internet is a tiny place!  I've bid on the Xenaversity auction and won some pictures!  And I remember James from the 2012 convention... I believe he cosplayed as Poseidon!  I'm one of the mods on the Facebook movie campaign (I know you're on it, but I am linking it for those reading this thread because I am always plugging the page).  Anyhow, yay Xena!

 

Would be cool to see pics of your Ares cosplay if you are comfortable sharing. I'd like to cosplay Ares or Iolaus one of these days!

[shotgunbadger]

Yea RP groups in general tend to be some of the best places to find LGBTQ(insert other acronyms here I'm sorry I just legit forget them but I love you all :moogle: ), I don't know if it's just the fact that if you're the kinda person who likes to pretend to be a magic cat person your mind most likely doesn't balk at the idea of someone being attracted to the same gender or born in the wrong body or whatever, but these threads are almost always great little sources of uplifting in a normally shitty internet.:love:

[Gone4everbye]

(I'm in the Xena: Warrior Princess fandom)

...You're my new best friend, kay?

 

I cosplayed as Ares once. It was well before I could ever grow facial hair so I liberally drew on a beard. Anywho, I'm part of the "Xenaversity of Minnesota" and one of the web groups petitioning for a Xena movie. So, ya know. Represent! o/

 

The Xenaversity of Minnesota's run by a gay man. :3

The internet is a tiny place!  I've bid on the Xenaversity auction and won some pictures!  And I remember James from the 2012 convention... I believe he cosplayed as Poseidon!  I'm one of the mods on the Facebook movie campaign (I know you're on it, but I am linking it for those reading this thread because I am always plugging the page).  Anyhow, yay Xena!

 

Would be cool to see pics of your Ares cosplay if you are comfortable sharing.  I'd like to cosplay Ares or Iolaus one of these days!

Good lord, it is a small world. I love James. And his son, Cory.

 

Haha, my Ares cosplay kind of really sucks, but yeah, I can dig up some photos. I think I've got them hidden away in one of several Photobucket accounts. Anyway, which convention are you talking about? One of the Xenacons that I seem to never hear about, or CONvergence where the Xenaversity sets up a room party every year? :3

[Salty Lake]

(I'm in the Xena: Warrior Princess fandom)

...You're my new best friend, kay?

 

I cosplayed as Ares once. It was well before I could ever grow facial hair so I liberally drew on a beard. Anywho, I'm part of the "Xenaversity of Minnesota" and one of the web groups petitioning for a Xena movie. So, ya know. Represent! o/

 

The Xenaversity of Minnesota's run by a gay man. :3

The internet is a tiny place!  I've bid on the Xenaversity auction and won some pictures!  And I remember James from the 2012 convention... I believe he cosplayed as Poseidon!  I'm one of the mods on the Facebook movie campaign (I know you're on it, but I am linking it for those reading this thread because I am always plugging the page).  Anyhow, yay Xena!

 

Would be cool to see pics of your Ares cosplay if you are comfortable sharing.  I'd like to cosplay Ares or Iolaus one of these days!

Good lord, it is a small world. I love James. And his son, Cory.

 

Haha, my Ares cosplay kind of really sucks, but yeah, I can dig up some photos. I think I've got them hidden away in one of several Photobucket accounts. Anyway, which convention are you talking about? One of the Xenacons that I seem to never hear about, or CONvergence where the Xenaversity sets up a room party every year? :3

 

I started going to the Creation Xena conventions in 2012 and plan on continuing to go as long as they have them (I only live two states away so flights are cheap).  I haven't heard of other Xena cons in the states, but there was one in France recently (and another coming up), and is a 2015 convention in New Zealand!

[Asyria]

Funny thing I just realized...

LGBT topics have barely ever been brought up in my household when I was growing up. A very good friend of mine turned out to be rather homophobic but by the time it came up I was 13 already, so I had time to make up my own mind about these things, without any real outside influence. The result is I think we all should live and let live.

I later learned that the above-mentionned very good friend's mom was homophobic and racist and a huge influence on him growing up.

LGBT-friendlyness will grow through generations, like everything else, I guess.

Hopefully sooner than later!

[Domri Blackblade]

Funny thing I just realized...

LGBT topics have barely ever been brought up in my household when I was growing up. A very good friend of mine turned out to be rather homophobic but by the time it came up I was 13 already, so I had time to make up my own mind about these things, without any real outside influence. The result is I think we all should live and let live.

I later learned that the above-mentionned very good friend's mom was homophobic and racist and a huge influence on him growing up.

LGBT-friendlyness will grow through generations, like everything else, I guess.

Hopefully sooner than later!

 

As they say, the apple rarely falls far from the tree! He might one day grow out of that mindset though, and that's the good thing. His mother may be beyond all reason, but who knows. Always a possibility.

 

I was never a fan of the indoctrination kids go through. Hate is learned. Why teach your child hate?

[Asyria]

Well, it's not teaching on purpose in most cases, I think... more like unintentionally teaching by example.

Still sucks when what's bing taught is intolerance, though.

But yeah my friend is not as bad as he used to be. ^^

[Domri Blackblade]

Tossed you a little something. :3

[Fulcrum]

I'm really happy to see personal crowd funding sites (ones that allow for things that are not product related) working for transfolk to get their surgeries. The "scholarship" programmes are very limited, with such small application windows, it often doesn't work out for a large portion of those who need the surgeries.

 

 

The downside to crowd funding is that there are a number of sites out there that are not legit. Indiegogo is really the only site I'd ever suggest to anyone doing a non-product based fund.

 

 

I'm also really happy that more insurances are starting to cover transition surgeries. Even some state insurance programmes are starting to cover the basic surgeries (top surgeries and bottom surgeries, but not anything more like facial reconstruction, hair removal, etc).

 

 

There are also several states who have made it much easier to get certain records (driver's license/state ID, birth certificate, etc) switched over to the proper gender even without surgeries - in these states, you just need to be on hormonal therapy or a certain number of years into the transition cycle to get them changed.

 

 

While a lot of places have CareCredit, that is still based on your personal credit, although their threshold seems to be way lower than traditional credit cards. Even with CareCredit, payments for a surgery that costs $15,000.00 end up being at minimum $400.00 per month; that payment plan tacks on a lot of interest as it is a 60 month plan, so the end result is paying almost $25,000.00 overall. For the majority of people, especially those with trouble finding a good job (or any job at all), $400.00 is just as out of reach.

 

 

I'm really glad to see a healthy LGBTQIA community here, and the level of acceptance from the community at large. I was really afraid to start playing Dwynd, who identifies as gender neutral, and people didn't bat an eyelash; even in the LGBTQIA community at large, gender neutral and most androgens get a lot of flack.

 

 

Lastly, Nik, our income should be stabilizing here in September. Once it does, my fiancé and I will donate. I actually first saw your fund on FB, shared it there already, and we were already planning to donate. =)

 

 

P.S. Nik, did you play Aion ever? >.>

[Gone4everbye]

Thanks so much for all of the support, everyone. From monetary donations, to your kind words, to getting the word out there, every little bit has been helping. I am still a ways away from my goal, but if the fundraiser should end without reaching it, I intend to put the money away in a separate credit union where I'll leave the funds until it's time for surgery, and potentially open a second fundraiser later on down the line.

 

I'd be happy to share my whole experience with everyone down the line if there's any interest. I was fortunate to have finally found my HD camcorder after almost a year of searching. I won it from NCsoft for winning first place in their second official video contest--and I won first place in their first one too! When it's surgery time, I'd like to record a little bit of a before and after. I'll probably open up another YouTube account to do this on since my main account, DimmerMeerkat, is almost exclusively dedicated to the MMOs I play. (Expect FFXIV content soooon.)

 

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks! So... thanks!

[Kyouri]

 

While a lot of places have CareCredit, that is still based on your personal credit, although their threshold seems to be way lower than traditional credit cards. Even with CareCredit, payments for a surgery that costs $15,000.00 end up being at minimum $400.00 per month; that payment plan tacks on a lot of interest as it is a 60 month plan, so the end result is paying almost $25,000.00 overall. For the majority of people, especially those with trouble finding a good job (or any job at all), $400.00 is just as out of reach.

 

 

 

Yeah, it ended up costing me a lot.. Only reason I got approved for enough of a credit line was because my mom was nice enough to let me use her name/credit to pay for the surgery.. It DID end up costing me a LOT in the end, but I managed to pay it off (ended up selling a lot of my anime/manga collection in the process..) so I'm pretty thankful and I don't regret it in the slightest. It's difficult to put a number on finally feeling good about yourself. But yeah, I was glad to have the option available to me, even though it cost a lot.

[PerkPrincess]

If it's still possible to contribute, I'd be more than happy to chip in once my grants come in before September! Until then, I'll be waving my flags in full support!

[Rhostel]

I really hope this works out for you.

 

As long as people are confessing, I'm not really cis- nor fully trans-. Actually, I've never really been able to nail down a gender identity I feel comfortable with. I'm aware of the various other options people have determined, but I feel like I fall outside all of them.

 

Admittedly, the main reason I don't feel genderfluid is that I'm too apathetic to act on any such impulse.