Confused and Frustrated

[Melodia]

I am very new to MMOs (this is my first and I only just started in November), and thus I am very new to role playing, so please forgive this post if it is silly or just full of rookie mistakes.

 

I joined the Balmung server with a desire to try rp. I have a character on another server who is leveled high and such, so in this server I am a very low level character. I don't really know anyone at all. I have met a few people but never for more than maybe 10 -15 minutes at a time. So, my engagements have been very limited. But it feels sometimes like I am 1 step forward, 2 steps back in terms of making friends.

 

To be specific, in the past two days I have met folks (yay) and engaged in small level rp (yay), but I also feel a bit excluded from some of the....ugh, I hate using the word, but "cliques" that exist (and it's really for a lack of better word). I met someone who was really cool and we had a fun conversation, only to see a mt whisper pop up where the person seemed annoyed and wanted to go. Then the person left the FC less than an hour later.  Others I have met seem only mildly curious about me and then don't want to engage (but I get it....the IC aspect). But many times I try engage, people are OOC and don't seem to want to be IC, or their group IC is set and I feel like I am just butting in so, I leave and end up alone again. I try and be nice, but outside of the "cute Lalafell"  swoon that soon fades, I seem to be more of an annoyance to the more established folks. And there are times I send tells with serious OOC questions that are ignored completely. It gets to be disheartening.

 

I am just confused and not sure what to do. I end up just wandering the world tackling story quests instead because at times (and I know...it may just be my own perception) I feel unwanted. And when you're doing a story you already know and have already completed elsewhere, it can be incredibly lonely. Ugh....I am venting I know, and I don't know what I expect here. I just don't want to pester the leaders of the FC I am in because I perster them enough with the 1,001 questions I always have. I just wonder if I made the right decision trying this. :?

[xelliexell]

It can be rough starting out, and even down the road I share some of the same frustrations as yourself (ie: everyone my character gets close to ends up leaving the game. It's to the point where I think my lalafell is cursed. Oh! Maybe it's a lalafell thing!? :surprise: )

 

But one of the things I'd recommend is to keep an eye on the calendar for events - I know there are a couple of chocobo races coming up at least! I'm sure both racing coordinators wouldn't mind you jumping in as jockey, if you'd like to take up a more active/fun role!

 

Also, I see a lot of people posting on these forums asking for people to have a connection with their character, or just looking for RP buddies, or even just being new and trying to establish their own characters. I'd try hitting a few of these people up, as they may be in the same boat as you!

 

Try not to be discouraged over a few bad experiences. Much like the real world, sometimes it's just a matter of finding cool people that you mesh with.

[N'taeyl]

I think a lot of people are frustrated with their RP experience lately, myself included.  I have a small group with a plot ongoing, which is very welcome to outside people to join, but without that it feels like the only place to find strangers to RP with is the Quicksand - which my main character hates.

 

This is also a down period between major updates, however this game seems to have a biiiig lag time of activity between updates.  It's also still considered a new release, I guess players being less interested between updates is typical.  

 

As mentioned, the best option is to go to the public events to meet people.  If they don't feel like socializing at those events then they're idiots anyway, why would you go!?

[allgivenover]

After a while people tend to glue together into cliques with their friends, and often feel little need to branch out. If all the RP you want comes from the same 5 people or so, then why go get more? It's not a deliberate effort to exclude newcomers, it's just in people's nature to be this way.

 

Try asking people you've already RP'd with if they'd like to RP with you again directly, often people are pleased by direct requests for RP, as they are not all that common after a community settles. It can be tough to break in.

[Bexy]

Whilst i understand some people do... Tend to form into the same groups and what have you, i know many others like to go seeking "Random RP" for a change up in things. Also, completely get your need to rant. We all need that sometimes. But, i'll RP with just about anyone, so feel free to hit me up! So long as i'm not wearing a full gearset, i'm IC. Feel free to bother me in game. ^w^

[ArmachiA]

I think currently with the patch coming up it's going to be hard to find a lot of pick up RP because why play when you know a patch is coming? This is pretty standard for most MMO's and everytime a content patch is on the horizon the roleplaying goes waayyyy down, then stays down while some people do the content for a week or so.

 

Don't get discouraged! Keep trying to meet people (I also have the problem that the Quicksand is just too crowded for my awkward character though I go in there sometimes) and hang out at the Quicksand when you can. Go to events - the easiest one would be the Grindstone every Saturday there are lots of spectators. Is your FC pulling you into a story? Try to get involved in their shenanigans. As a GM of a heavy plot based guild, I LOVE it when new members are proactive and sent me tells about how to include their character more. It's hard, because it's easy to be shy. Your best bet is to find someone who can pull you into things so you don't feel so alone. I know a few people in my guild who are really popular at the Quicksand (Calling Natalie, Calling Roen) who may be able to help you with that.

 

We RPers are friendly, but it can be hard to pull us away from our established groups (My character was out of social rp for 2 months due to a guild plot and I'm having to reacclimate to pick up rp). Also I'd be willing to rp with you

[Kage]

((I sees a Roen in this thread too /runs))

 

Sorry last night for not being able to immediately say anything to you! I just got out of a horrible CT run so I needed to get a drink but it was great to meet someone, especially another Lalafell.

 

At the moment, I don't have any free RPs going on but if you're open to spend a little more time IC with Kage (gosh when I'm not busy but I've done all my weekly capped things this week so I'm open to RP mostly!!) maybe we can hash things out ^^ Kage doesn't have much in the way of things going for him, he kinda acts more of a supportive character. So if say Rurutani needed a sword or a magic-user (though Kage prefers swords now), he'd be willing to jump to Rurutani's aid.

 

Unless Rurutani is secretly a Lalafell planning a coup d'état against the Sultana and Kage found out. He might be... displeased.

[Melodia]

Sorry last night for not being able to immediately say anything to you! I just got out of a horrible CT run so I needed to get a drink but it was great to meet someone, especially another Lalafell.

 

 

Oh no! Kage was fine!   I was glad to have been able to say hello but I truly was exhausted and needed to get to bed. What I'm describing has been my various interactions where I have had time to talk and such. So this was definitely not related to you. Kage rocks. :thumbsup:

[Roen]

Yes? I have been summoned! 

 

Ha! Armi (and Kage while I was typing this post...) totally beat me to responding to this post. I am sorry to hear that you had a few bad encounters. They would make me feel unwanted to. I think though that they are exceptions rather than the rule.

 

When I started out, I used to hang out in Quicksand, sometimes even just emoting by myself reading a book or what not. And read the scrolling chat to see if anyone had any interesting conversations going on. Or if there were other RPers that seem to be looking for interaction. Then maybe think of a way to hook them into a conversation, or hook myself into their scene. Sometimes sending a tell to facilitate the process. And it didn't work all the time. But don't give up!

 

I also agree with the previous posters above. Go to the events on the calendar. RPers show up to those things TO socialize!  Grindstone happens every Wed and Sat, there are some chocobo races happening too. And I see that you are in the Harbingers of Dawn. What I know of that FC, they are full of helpful and friendly RPers!  Don't be shy about approaching them or your FC leader about this too! You could be missing out on some great opportunities there.

 

Lastly, I love random RPs. I would be happy to RP with you. Just send me a tell whenever I am on. If I am not in a preplanned session, we can come up with something on the spot. If I am, we can always think up something in the near future. Or at least, get our names on each other's friend's list!

[Melodia]

I want to thank everyone so far for the replies. I just want to make sure everyone knows, I have had good experiences as well.    I think that what has happened is, the few good ones I have had get washed away by that feeling of isolation, if that makes any sense. And yes, the FC folks I have talked to have been great. But in our FC chat, which is OOC, everyone seems so close and it really is hard to "bond" with anyone as messages go flying by and everyone seems to part of a conversation I am just not understanding or part of. And yeah....there is a lot of backstory rp going on that is hard to jump into. But I definitely have not had a problem with any people per se....just circumstances I guess. I get confused a lot about what I have to do, or how to rp in general and eventually tuck my tail and go fight monsters because that's easier for me to deal with.

 

And I apologize for venting/whining (as I know some may see it). I will make an effort to try and meet more people. Maybe chatting with some people OOC to get to know them better will help me feel better with rp..?

[Evie]

\ And I see that you are in the Harbingers of Dawn. What I know of that FC, they are full of helpful and friendly RPers!  Don't be shy about approaching them or your FC leader about this too! You could be missing out on some great opportunities there.

 

I have to agree with Brynn, I've had great experience with HOD in my interactions with them. Our FCs had an RP event planned by one of theirs a few weekends ago and it was amazing. We're trying to work on planning another event between our guilds so look for that, hopefully in April (spring break coming up for me so going on a vacation, thank god). Faye is a very good person to work with as is Karaan, these are the two I've had the most dealing with. Though I've learned ICly the FC lead is quite interesting .

 

I'm just going to mirror everyone else and say if you ever see me running around feel free to wave me down or send me a tell.

[Evie]

I want to thank everyone so far for the replies. I just want to make sure everyone knows, I have had good experiences as well.    I think that what has happened is, the few good ones I have had get washed away by that feeling of isolation, if that makes any sense. And yes, the FC folks I have talked to have been great. But in our FC chat, which is OOC, everyone seems so close and it really is hard to "bond" with anyone as messages go flying by and everyone seems to part of a conversation I am just not understanding or part of. And yeah....there is a lot of backstory rp going on that is hard to jump into. But I definitely have not had a problem with any people per se....just circumstances I guess. I get confused a lot about what I have to do, or how to rp in general and eventually tuck my tail and go fight monsters because that's easier for me to deal with.

 

And I apologize for venting/whining (as I know some may see it). I will make an effort to try and meet more people. Maybe chatting with some people OOC to get to know them better will help me feel better with rp..?

 

Everyone needs to vent, we'd go crazy if we didn't. And yes getting to know people OOC definitely helps when it comes to IC. Talk to some people with a backstory RP your interested in and figure out OOCly how exactly would be the best way to get your characters interacting together. It makes things easy and gets you started. If you enjoy fighting monsters, maybe that's the perfect way to get people introduced, just a random meeting in the field where you team up to fight a giant rampaging crab. I was at Behemoth the other day and some little Lalafell was ranting ICly during the fight about people just running headlong into danger with no thought to personal well being. Me, him, and my friend ended up walking all the way back to Dragonhead ICly chatting. So like Brynn said and interesting emote or random muttering can catch people's attention.

[TheLastCandle]

Events, events, events. Go to them. Strike up conversations with the other attendees. I rarely - almost never - go to the Quicksand simply because I dislike how most if not all RP is centered on Ul'dah. Call it a silent protest if you will. But for whatever it's worth, if you see me about and I'm not crafting or queued for something, feel free to approach.

[C'kayah Polaali]

There are a ton of good ideas in this thread. To those I'd add "be patient and proactive". It took me a while before I could really start breaking into RP. That said, I had far more luck at the start making my own RP: I'd examine people who were walking or sitting around in RP areas looking for "Roleplayer" tags, then I'd send them /tells to see if they were interested in some RP. It's a great way to meet other RPers who aren't currently RPing right that minute, and I continue to do so to this day.

[Kimikimi]

Since this thread is still new, I thought I would like to add. Hey I am new to RP too and also play a Lalafell female. I honestly have little ideas on my RP and just taking it as it comes. Perhaps my back story will thicken later. But like many people here I am mostly alone in the world of RP and would like to make friends.

[Flickering Ember]

Hey, Rurutani, what times do you play? I have been RPing for years but being shy OOC sometimes makes it hard for me to break into RP. Maybe we could try pestering people for RP together?

[Melodia]

I usually play M-F in the evenings, like generally 5-10 pm EST (with breaks in between for important things like eating and bathing. LOL!) , and on weekends the times vary more as I may need to go out shopping or something.

[synaesthetic]

I feel the same way honestly.

 

When the game came out I got too caught up in PvE stuffs, trying to get my FC built up so we could do endgame content in the future and spending a lot of time clearing content.

 

As a result, now in March I've got good PvE progress, but almost no RP progress! Now it feels as if it's just too late. All of my roleplayer friends are so far ahead of me and so involved in their own plots that I simply can't fit in anywhere.

 

I'm left with trying to find new people to RP with and sometimes it just gets so annoying to bother I don't even really try.

 

Edit: Another problem I should mention is that I don't like events, date auctions, light "entertainment" kind of RP stuff. My character has a plot, a story, something that's serious, brutal and deadly, and could have major repercussions for her and those she cares about.

 

I want to find people who can regularly be involved in this story idea, some folks who really want to get involved in an epic yarn about the the lost civilization of Nym, ancient Allagan technology, Garlean spies and assassins and the aftermath of the Calamity...

 

I want my RP in FFXIV to be like my old D&D games. I want to get into some serious epic plotting. But nobody seems interested.

[Koninbeor]

I feel the same way honestly.

 

When the game came out I got too caught up in PvE stuffs, trying to get my FC built up so we could do endgame content in the future and spending a lot of time clearing content.

 

As a result, now in March I've got good PvE progress, but almost no RP progress! Now it feels as if it's just too late. All of my roleplayer friends are so far ahead of me and so involved in their own plots that I simply can't fit in anywhere.

 

I'm left with trying to find new people to RP with and sometimes it just gets so annoying to bother I don't even really try.

 

Edit: Another problem I should mention is that I don't like events, date auctions, light "entertainment" kind of RP stuff. My character has a plot, a story, something that's serious, brutal and deadly, and could have major repercussions for her and those she cares about.

 

I want to find people who can regularly be involved in this story idea, some folks who really want to get involved in an epic yarn about the the lost civilization of Nym, ancient Allagan technology, Garlean spies and assassins and the aftermath of the Calamity...

 

I want my RP in FFXIV to be like my old D&D games. I want to get into some serious epic plotting. But nobody seems interested.

 

I would be very interested in exploring a story like that. No one sees me around, however, because I'm essentially on a forced hiatus from the game. My laptop gets 13 fps inside an inn, so you can just imagine what walking around town is like. I mostly log in to do seasonal events (which is a HUGE headache to accomplish on my system) and randomly say hi to a few people that I know. I would be available to anyone via whisper in game or in Skype. Otherwise, I have to wait until next month, when the PS4 version finally goes live. Then I will get to do a desperate grind to catch up on end-game content whilst trying to reestablish myself in the RP world.

 

For the OP, looks like things are starting to turn around for you. Cliques do tend to pop up here and there, and it's difficult to break in to those, but if you keep being persistent and trying to have as much fun as possible, you'll be fine. Like I said, it seems as though you've had some good experiences, and you have certainly received many responses in this thread. I'm always open to RP with the restrictions that I've listed above out of sheer necessity. My main is listed over to the left. :thumbsup::moogle:

[Dat Oni]

Please feel free to contact me in game if you want some roleplay. Edgar's a sweet kitty. ^^

[Aya]

I'm in kind of the same place, except its because most of my friends have stopped playing.  I've been meeting new people, and making new friends, but its tough to really get involved in the RP they're doing (and so far I haven't had any luck with that).  I don't really have any advice unfortunately, except to try to be persistent and friendly

[Roen]

I want my RP in FFXIV to be like my old D&D games. I want to get into some serious epic plotting.

YES!

 

This is the enjoyment I get from RP as well, story arcs with love! Tragedy! Fallen heroes and redemption. Families and betrayals and alliances.

 

There are definitely storytellers and RPers out there that crave and thrive on good storytelling.  Tavern RP and random encounters are just a way to meet people.  Once you find that you gel... then you can PLOT to your heart's content.  :thumbsup:

[Clover]

As people have said, events are a good way to make friends. However, events might not get you into real plotting. Getting into those in big communities like this one, which doesn't share a common story for all the players, is harder and more tricky, I'm afraid.

 

In any case, events are still a lot of fun! If you look at the calendar, there are two upcoming ones in Balmung:

 

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=6544 (Chocobo races, which looks like a relaxing social meeting).

 

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=6515 (Ghost Whale, which looks like the adventure kind of RP).

 

I recommend you to attend both, especially the second if you want some serious plotting ^^

Best of lucks, don't give up!

[Melodia]

I want my RP in FFXIV to be like my old D&D games. I want to get into some serious epic plotting.

YES!

 

This is the enjoyment I get from RP as well, story arcs with love! Tragedy! Fallen heroes and redemption. Families and betrayals and alliances.

 

There are definitely storytellers and RPers out there that crave and thrive on good storytelling.  Tavern RP and random encounters are just a way to meet people.  Once you find that you gel... then you can PLOT to your heart's content.  :thumbsup:

That's the RP I am used to! I used to play D&D (Forgotten Realms setting), Rifts, World of Darkness, Traveller, Shadowrun and others. I love big adventures.

[Clover]

We must also remember that, in order to play an epic plot where every character counts, it mostly has to be done in a small group. I don't think the same can be done in very big groups, so I guess that's why many RPers tend to mostly play their huge plots with their friends.

 

(And just for the record, I'm not playing any epic plot in FFXIV myself, as I already get my epicness dose elsewhere. I just go with the flow and enjoy things as they come, if and when they do. I just understand why players tend to choose small groups, even if I'd also like them to create more general plots that would involve many people).