How Would Your Character go through the Five stages of Grief.

[Cynel1]

i wonder how would your character go though the Kübler-Ross model AKA the five stages of grief.

 

this is what Cyneler went through when he lost his Adopted father ( Nathan) to the Calamity. ( it's a bit rough)

 

 

 1.  Denial:  Cyneler Doesn't Believe his Adopted father is dead.

 

2 .  Anger: He Starts Blaming the Garleans for killing Nathan.

 

3.  Bargaining:  Cyneler tries to Find Proof that Nathan Survived the Calamity.

 

 4. Depression: He starts to Withdraw from the rest of the world .

 

 5. Acceptance:  He comes to terms with it and moves on with his life knowing Nathan is Gone.

[Kage]

It's pretty simply spelled out through it the stages.

 

Kage actually pretty much went through it when Natalie died.

 

1. Kage couldn't believe that she would go off without at least telling him where or what she was doing. Not even giving him the change to go. He didn't want to believe she was really dead. Having no real official documented ties, the main reason why he knew she was dead was cause they lived together. Kinda hard to ignore Crofte taking and handing out Natalie's personal effects. :V

 

2. Kage considered 100% of giving no fucks and burning down Jameson Taeros's house. And some dude name Nero, wherever the hell he was. He was also very tempted by the idea of lighting some docks on fire. He settled on wanting to find all the ways to discredit the man...

 

3. Kage started to consider working -for- Taeros in a much closer fashion as others did. Go back to how he felt while he was temporarily a Brass Blade.

 

4. But before the very end Kage holed up in the house. He didn't talk to his house mates anymore. He up and left the place that he had bought for him and Natalie, a place that he wanted to make as a home for his loved ones and himself.

 

5. In the end, Kage realized that he couldn't stay perpetually in grief. She was dead and gone; that was all on her. No matter what he felt, that was the path she'd chosen and that was what he should and could always expect of her. He came to terms with that and moved on.

[Caspar]

1.  Denial: I think that this would be the longest or second longest stage for Virara. She would go through days, months, maybe even years before realizing she is in pain.

 

2. Anger: Her most severe stage. Virara understands anger more than pretty much any other emotion, most of which she is not in touch with. She would become so savagely violent it might be seen as a regression to her feral state before she was educated. It'd be a miracle if she didn't get herself killed during this stage or did something unforgivable.

 

3. Bargaining: Virara is too straightforward to lie to herself about what happened, but it's likely she'd go through this as well.

 

 4. Depression: Virara, losing all feelings and thoughts, becomes an empty shell, unable to do anything aside from the bare minimum necessary to survive.

 

 5. Acceptance: With help from others, she manages to recognize what happened to her and move onward with the old "foe" of emotional trauma defeated.

[ChewableMorphine]

[align=center]1.  Denial: Flynt didn't go bankrupt, he's always rich. 

 

2 .  Anger: No shut the fuck up I'm rich. 

  

3.  Bargaining:  Can I haggle that bagel off your hands or--

  

 4. Depression: -uncontrollable sobbing- 

  

 5. Acceptance:  Potash stockpile sold, now rich again.[/align]

[Cynel1]

[align=center]1.  Denial: Flynt didn't go bankrupt, he's always rich. 

 

2 .  Anger: No shut the fuck up I'm rich. 

  

3.  Bargaining:  Can I haggle that bagel off your hands or--

  

 4. Depression: -uncontrollable sobbing- 

  

 5. Acceptance:  Potash stockpile sold, now rich again.[/align]

 

Does that even count?

[ArmachiA]

Recently, a friend of Armi's who was renting out her house (Since she now lives with her current boyfriend) died. She... didn't handle it well.

 

1. Denial: This is actually the shortest stage for her, she didn't deny it at all.

 

2 . Anger: There was a lot of this, but Armi doesn't compartmentalize anger very well. It always shows itself as despair or frustration. She was angry at the Gods for taking him away before he should have gone. But it only came out as "He bought a table." referring to a patio table he bought for the her house that he was planning on using for guests, but he was never able to.

 

3. Bargaining: Everyone was trying to find a way to maybe bring him back. There just wasn't a way to.

 

4. Depression: That whole "He bought a table" thing pretty much destroyed her for awhile.

 

5. Acceptance: Not there yet.

 

He died almost a month ago. It's still hard for her to think about.

[Verad]

I don't understand the question. Verad is always going through Stage 3. Why would there be other stages?

[DreamedReality]

Jaques cycles between 2 and 4 in his chronic grief currently.

 

He spent a loooong time at 1. Mostly the denial manifested itself in a denial to process it. Via alcoholism. Rather than denying that it actually happened.

 

3. Never really did this point.

 

5. And certainly has never reached here.

[Kurt S.]

Keil thankfully got through this fairly quickly after he donned his adoptive father's armor and lance. At least I think he did.

Okay so maybe he's still stuck at step 4 and just does a good job hiding it from V'ari.

 

1. Yeah you know..he's dead right.

 

2. Anger? What the hell can I do against a behemoth on my own?

 

3. I think he skipped this. That behemoth probably...yeah I can't think of anything

 

4. Now what do I do with my life? Where do I go now? Just keep drifting..yeah. I mean he was supposed to be there astride the thing...not there dead on the ground. This....is like big brother dying all over again. I wonder just what would have happened if I solved it earlier.

 

5.???

[Klynzahr]

I have taken two characters through a large portion of this process, although neither of them followed a perfectly linear progression.

 

Iyrnahct

 

1) Denial: This was a very long stage for Iyrnahct, lasting for several months after the calamity. "Dani canna be gone, she's the best twelve's damned marauder I kin name. Na' she's only held up, be marchen back from Cartenue any day now."

 

2) Anger: This stage was triggered by the return of Dani's remaining effects, and manifested itself in 14 hour shifts at the forge, followed by angry drinking binges. "How could th'twelve be takin' her from m'too? M'byes deserve t'be knowin' their own mum!"

 

3)Bargaining: This followed closely on the heels of Iyrnahct's initial anger. "Th'whole world be upside down. Like as not, th'messanger was mistaken."

 

At this point the process was stalled by the realization that he could no longer recall his wife's name or face .... "Aye, me wife served in th'maelstrom.... her name was... ee'was..."

 

Of course this lead back to....

 

1) Denial: "I canna be fergettin her name! Was na'even three moons back.... s'only th'long work hours gettin' ta me."

 

2) Anger: "S'naw bloody fair! I be loosin' errythin I had o'her!"

 

4) Depression: The first stages lasted much larger the second time around before depression took over about a year post calamity. Unlike the other stages this one was marked by uncharacteristic silence and obsessive dedication to his work.

 

3) Bargaining: This succeeded and partially overlapped with the fourth stage. Many sleepless nights have been spent pouring over the two sketches of Dani that he possesses or reading her name aloud for hours. All of these efforts have failed to make the slightest difference, ten seconds after looking away he has forgotten her name and face again.

 

5) Acceptance: Iyrnahct arrived at this peaceful spot just over a year ago, with help from his two older children. He has put aside his last mementos of Dani and largely embraced his life again, although he still has the rare relapse into stage three and four.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daniwyda's journey begun far more recently and her grief remains very potent.

 

1) Denial: Her circumstances were so outlandish, the truth was particularly easy for Dani to deny. "It's understandable how some were forgotten. Can't remember a shred of those years m'self, but no one's goin' ter forget family. O'course they'll know me."

 

2) Anger: This stage was delayed for several days by a period of pure shock. Although she could no longer logically deny her situation, the actual comprehension was slow in coming. Shock gave way to half a day of violent rage, which  poured into the stones around Limsa Lominsa. After breaking several dozen boulders and exhausting herself, she returned to the city with a nearly level head and requested the most dangerous guild leve's available. Although the initial fury was short lived, she harbored a simmering anger for months. "Don't blather t'me guild master. Jus' find me a leve t'sink this ax inside."

 

3) Bargaining took several forms for Dani, but the first one coincided with her anger. "It be th'Garleans that are t'blame, and I intend t'make th'lot pay." 

 

4) Depression: This stage began, when Dani re injured her leg en route to Northern Thanlan. After making her way back to her native Limsa Lominsa, she has become extremely quiet and withdrawn, rarely leaving the city and drinking more than she ought. This stage has been very subtle for her but she is far from actual acceptance. " 'Venturin'? Not I. Make m'livin' as a fisher these days."

 

 3) Bargaining: Dani will periodically revert to this stage, by contriving to 'accidentally' come across her husband or one of her sons. Their inability to recognize her invariably triggers several weeks of deeper depression.

 

 

I find it amusing to read over the timeline of this. Both Dani and Iyrnahct grieved the same loss, but Iyrnahct has had five years to process, what Dani has understood for less than a year.

 

Time warps

[Zyrusticae]

Oh hey, something that's actually relevant to my character's current state!

 

She's actually still going through most of these right now, and has yet to reach Stage 5:

 

1. Denial: She went through this one pretty quick. At first she wanted to believe that everyone got out alive and she just needed to find them. The evidence at the scene, however, was conclusive enough that she quickly leapt to Stage 2:

 

2. Anger: Mostly, she was (and is) angry at herself for not being powerful enough to do something to prevent it. Even if she needed some kind of clairvoyance or even borderline omnipotence, she feels she could have done something to prevent their collective deaths.

 

3. Bargaining: Irrelevant in her case, because everyone is already dead. That being said, I imagine in other cases she'd probably do what most people do: try to renegotiate terms in her favor somehow, assuming such a thing is even possible. If this fails, she jumps immediately back to Stage 2.

 

4. Depression: She hides this most of the time, but occasionally she will drink herself to sleep to cope with it. It's particularly complicated because she's become really good at hiding it most of the time, usually because she's distracting herself with the outside world.

 

5. Acceptance: As said, she hasn't reached this stage yet, and it'd probably take a particularly keen and kind-hearted soul to get her to reach it. Most people who try to get in on her business will simply trigger Stage 2 again. Yeah, she does that a lot...

 

T'rahnu's inability to deal with and accept her own grief is a big part of her character right now, and it will probably continue to be so for the foreseeable future.

[kitakaze]

Sazhi'to lost most of his family during the Calamity, and was under the impression that ALL of them had in fact been killed until several years later.

 

1) Denial: He kept telling himself that without recovered bodies, there was no reason to think anyone had been killed. You can't arbitrarily pronounce a missing person dead, after all. If he just kept helping the Arcanists' Guild with the rebuilding and healing, he would find word of at least someone.

 

2) Anger: Neither an easy nor common emotion for Sazhi'to, he felt the rage that all Eorzeans had over what the Garleans had done, but also some anger at himself for not being skilled enough to have joined his family on the front lines nor quick enough to return to his family in the Black Shroud.

 

3) Bargaining: Shortly after the Calamity Sazhi'to began to pester his teachers about ways to track down survivors. He was told to simply be patient and do whatever he could to help those around him, and the good he did would be seen and rewarded by the Twelve. Although unsure, Sazhi'to took that to heart and began studying anything and everything he could.

 

4) Depression: Three moons of fixing fishing nets, repairing cracked cook-pots, and reading when he wasn't doing other myriad odd-jobs with no word of any family having somehow survived began to take a toll on him. Sazhi'to found that no matter how hard he tried, there was still no result, and as soon as he began to accept that he was the last of his family he began having vivid nightmares. All of his self-loathing which he had pushed through came back full force with each nightmare, and he would be unable to sleep for days after. Eventually he simply stopped sleeping until he would pass out wherever he sat.

 

5)  Acceptance: It took being found by the wizards of the Tower for him to finally begin to accept that he needed to move on with his life. However reluctantly. What truly set him on the path to peace with his loss was meeting his mentor, and eventual life-mate K'hane. As if just beginning to accept things was enough to set the rest in motion, it was not long before he learned that his sister and cousin had, in fact, survived and been in similar situations of isolation to himself.

[Mercurias]

M'sato recently (less than a week ago) learned that three of his sisters had died and a fourth was horribly experimented on for half a year, which has left permanent effects on her body and mind.

 

Denial - He believed that the surviving sister was lying, could be lying, or was confused. He had a trusted friend check up on the rumor, and found that, yes, they had all been missing for over half a year.

 

Anger - Currently being very quietly honed like a scalpel, mostly because he's afraid of making it omnidirectional. He's put it all towards eliminating a single person, and he's plotting it every waking moment.

 

Bargaining - There is nothing to bargain, but M'sato is struggling right now to do more than just tell what happened like it was a new article he'd read. He's not able to do more than offer some comfort to the surviving sibling. Eventually this is the two points where he tends to stick and stay for the longest time. He has a very difficult time reaching out and talking. He feels very intensely, and oftentimes giving him 'straight talk' will just send all that repressed anger at you. Expect him to be grim, mock himself with humor so black it isn't actually funny, and for his speech to be halted and slow while he struggles to find words.

 

Depression - M'sato will openly admit that he is overwhelmed, but the feelings of helplessness will rankle at him for a long, long time. He will not be able to forgive himself for being unable to change, make better, or avert what happened. Bitter and sharp, he'll turn his grief on himself before most anyone else, especially if there was nothing he could have done of there is no one else to point a finger at.

 

Acceptance - M'sato will stop dwelling on the problem and put it away, having examined it thoroughly, let it wash over him, and accepted both the reality of the situation and the lessons he's learned from it. He may not be happy, and he certainly may occasionally be sad about it again, but he'll strive to most on and through it. He'll mourn the loss of his family, then do what he can to keep safe the family he has left, and in this case will possibly even send back a letter and see if there is a chance to open dialogue with the people hed so long forced himself not to think about.

[Darien Cadell]

She wouldn't. She'd get stuck on Anger and never leave. Which is pretty much what happened with her family.

[V'aleera]

V'aleera is a simple woman with a simple grieving process:

 

1: Violence

 

2: Violence

 

3: Violence

 

4: Quiet prayer and reflection

 

5: Violence

[Cynel1]

V'aleera is a simple woman with a simple grieving process:

 

1: Violence

 

2: Violence

 

3: Violence

 

4: Quiet prayer and reflection

 

5: Violence

Well that's one way to Deal with Grief.

[Domri Blackblade]

1. Working

2. Working

3. Working

4. Working

5. Working

[Hammersmith]

1: Skip

2: Stay here for about 20 years

3: Use this to build capital that can be used in step 4 and 5 for Action.

4: Merge with step 5 and 2.  Shake until explosive.

5: See Step 4

[SunTzu7]

There are only two stages of grief for Newton, and they are denial, then retributive action on the offending parties. All those other stages just delay violence.

[ZoktaiKhor]

When Zachary tried researching Primals and couldn't create an egi at first for a good year and a half.

 

1:"Th..this no it's not suppsoe to end like this! I must be making a simple number mistake.... lets start from the top... X=3^75[eSSenc]\........"

 

2:" DAMNIT! ITS JUST NOT FAIR! YEARS OF RESEARCH DOWN THE DRAIN! THE LAB! THE TOOLS ! THE MONEY! NONE OF IT WAS WORTH IT IF IT ALL CAME TO NAUGHT! I NEED THIS POWER! FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE!"

 

3: "If....if i solved this e-equation...and maybe ..if I summon Ifrit my self...I can buy the crystals for the ritual... i can control him if the math is right....right?"

 

4: He goes and just drinks cups after cup of green tea to calm his nerves.

 

5:"... Maybe I was not destined to be a summoner... even if i know the rituals, the math, and the science...maybe i jsut don't have the elemental affinity..."