Well, first off let me say that I only transfered to Mateus this weekend so I'm still overwhelmed by the scene. I've made so many friends just due do my bard performances (rl musician).
That being said, to get back to the discussion at hand: I am a 100% straight male, married 20+ years, and have been playing mmorpgs since Everquest and Asheron's Call.
In FF I play female, and my character is interested in both in-game genders.
As to the original poster, we are out there. I personally have just never liked playing male characters because going all the way back to the dawn of the genre, male models have been blocky, overly muscly slabs of meat, whereas female models have always received much more detail and diversity from the devs.
FF XIV has really created some great male models though. But If I'm going to spend hundreds of hours playing, looking at my char, why not choose something pleasing?