Aya

Action probably works best when everyone is on the same page, as well. I don't know that FC-organized has to be the case, but I think within a well defined group you'll have a better chance of finding something to be pleasant and enjoyable, rather than frustrating and tedious

So Final Fantasy is not just like Dungeons and Dragons... I consider this a good thing! Sometimes I find myself wishing to play a "divine spell caster" in Dungeons and Dragons based games, and its really not possible without simply ignoring half of your classes intended capability. Variety isn't a bad thing, and its very true to Final Fantasy flavor going all the way back to the original game.

Thank you V'aleera for some rather emotionally intense RP, the first to draw out the legendary Angry Aya! And thank you to Osric to staying up late to finish our plotting!

Tavern roleplay is a good way of meeting people, but it still takes effort to drive those relationships deeper. Let the friends you've made know, OOCly or ICly, what you're looking for and see if you can't find some of it. Most of my friends who have given me the opportunity to join adventure and action RP I've met through Tavern RP (Hi Verad, Hi Kiht, Hi Osric!) edit: Oh, and I get more than I really expect or anticipate these days. I tend to leave action scenes to story-writing rather than in-game RP. But, when it happens, it can be really fun!

Mostly just them, growling makes me giggle [To be fair I listen to a -really- wide range of music ] I'm not super fond of the harsher vocals either. Are you at all familiar with symphonic metal, then? I have a very passing familiarity, it seems to draw heavily from progressive which is my favorite rock genre

I have no free LSes unfortunately

Mostly just them, growling makes me giggle [To be fair I listen to a -really- wide range of music ]

Soooo often. I love music in any language. This is one of my fave non-English sounds (though sadly most of their music these days is in English). [Gaelic... Finnish.. German, French, Russian, Japanese.. I love music in so many different languages! )

Pull the ejection handle!

Really? No Batman?! I don't feel like I really had any major outside character inspiration for Aya when I started—these days I think I have some but they've come about through sort of realizing other widely known characters she has similarities to

The Faerie King is well acquainted with such ignorance, and encourages us all to approach it with an attitude of benign acceptance. But, be not uncertain, ignorant one, the Kingdom of Nerem is very well and true alive!

This is what I do story-wise as well Osric, though I'm pleased to have at least a couple of people I know will read them now :-] I'm not new but I wish that mine would generate more interaction too!

It is definitely a good way to broach interaction! As I mentioned its how I met C'kayah, whose been essential to the development of Aya as a character. Its also how I met Natalie and Kage, which opened a lot of doors. Any way that you can get yourself involved in social interaction is good. Writing non-social stories can also be helpful. I haven't met nearly as many people through them, but it does on rare occasion generate PMs and meeting someone new. I think if my stories were directed in ways that were more intractable (as I suspect Osric's were, since they were more in sync with ongoing plot development) they would generate more active interest from other players, and that's probably a good way to meet people!

And who here doesn't have sympathy? Isn't that why we're posting in this thread? If we didn't why would we be taking this time? And really, I am sorry, but the only other advice I can offer is, "if at first you don't succeed, try try again." Its not just about trying, its about persistence, and about knowing that there are people out there who will want to meet you, even if you have trouble finding them. I'm someone who has gone out of my way, time and time again, to try to welcome new people, to make them feel comfortable, and to set them up with connections as best I can. I consider it a goal of mine to try to hook people up, and to encourage interaction and friend-making. And despite this all, I can tell you very certainly that the bottom line doesn't change. That even when you're "established", that even when you're "popular", finding RP is about interjecting yourself into new situations, and broaching social interaction. Its never about sitting and waiting for something to fall into your lap. I really am entirely at a loss as to what you want. What sort of silver platter you're imagining that can be offered up as a replacement for being active and pro-active in the search for RP. I don't know what it is that's left you feeling that good, earnest encouragement is not only insufficient, but a signal of being unsympathetic.

Berrod had terrific advice on this, its absolutely fine to play an anti-social character, but the situation really doesn't change: if you want to meet people you still have to be prepared to broach social interaction yourself. To respond to potential interest, or contrive some means of starting something while remaining in-character. Warren, in another thread, suggested that non-verbal communication can be a starting point as well. Body language speaks volumes, and may be able to get things started.

Isn't this the very essence of encouragement? To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding? To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

I definitely agree! There are things we can do to lower the perceived risk of rejection for new people looking to make connections. A list of people who are explicitly approachable and happy to meet new people is a way to minimize someone's concern about rejection. But, in the end, they're still going to have to take that first step, broach that interaction, and introduce themselves to someone.

If anything is to blame its human nature which fills us with an irrational fear of failure and rejection. That's what makes engaging in social interaction so difficult. I don't think anyone suggesting that new players try to do just that is also suggesting that its easy. For many of us we've pointed out that its not, it really isn't easy at all. Its nonetheless the very best thing that any new RPer can do for meeting people. There is no easy route, there is no panacea. One can simply hope that society and community will bend their way: that others will be willing to take the leap of faith that they are unwilling, or unable to take themselves. Some people will get lucky, they'll be in the right place at the right time, and that is exactly what will happen. But suggesting that people just sit there and hope is not very helpful. My main goal is just to try to instill some hope and optimism. I want people who are new to realize that they are not alone in this, that they are not the first to face these problems, that many have come before, and many have succeeded in finding the sort of interactions and friends they're looking for. I want them to know that there is an entire community out there waiting to meet them. That there are dozens of potential friends waiting just on the other side of the screen. That there is reason for optimism, that there is reason for persistence, that there is reason to take that risk. To try to put away their anxiety and their fear, to know that if they can conquer it for just a few moments, a few times, there's a good chance that they will make some connections, some of which may be lasting. There is literally no better advice I can offer, no better suggestion I can muster. There is no amount of finger-wagging or head-shaking toward the community that can do a fraction of the good as successfully encouraging just one individual to try to overcome their shyness and take that leap to meet new people. There is no one to blame. There is no magic continuum from unpopular to popular to try to make meet in the middle. All there is of any real use is advice, and that's what we're doing our best to offer.

Why are you so worried about who is to blame? Who cares? I certainly don't (to be honest, I don't think there even is anyone to be blamed for anything being discussed). The question is how can new RPers make connections.

I did much the same as Warren - except that I never made my own introduction thread, I actually piggy-backed on someone else because I was a little nervous about it myself. So, I actually have no introduction or welcome thread of my own on this forum! My first real effort to meet anyone on the RPC was just to start an RP thread that invited interaction. It wasn't a great success, I only met one person via it, but C'kayah has turned out to be one of the most important individuals in Aya's life so I cannot say it was unsuccessful But, I guess what I am trying to say, is that this also was not the gateway to meeting other people, but it did help. I want to be clear that I'm not suggesting people hang out in the QS to find RP. That is one option among many! Social interactions can be started anywhere. Other events, by specifically reaching out to people you see posting on the RPC and find interesting, by just walking about town or residential districts and talking to people you see about. There was a terrific suggestion about putting yourself out there to hire someone for some job or activity, a terrific take on the same idea. Two people can both sit there posting receptive-to-RP emotes for hours on end, and no RP interaction will occur. One of them, in the end, must be willing to do what they both do not want to do: cold approach the other. I am not suggesting that this is easy, not at all. It really isn't easy, especially at first. I have probably done more cold approaches than anyone else in this particular community, and I still get nervous, I still get rejected, I still get treated rudely, and I still get shot down. The only difference is that I have the experience with this community to know that it does pay off to be optimistic and persistent. If you keep going you will find people who are receptive. That's because there are dozens, if not hundreds, of people out there just like you. Looking for RP, wanting to RP, wanting to meet people. They're afraid to approach you, you're afraid to approach them, but once one of you breaks the ice there's the potential for fun, and the potential for friendship. It is not the only way. But it is the most tried, and it is the most true. It is the most efficient, and it is probably the best. You can poke around the RPC, you can join an FC, try to join an LS, or you can just hope that someone you would like to meet comes your way to meet you. It may happen. You may get lucky. I know that I do my best to meet new people, to point them toward potential friends, to break the ice and just try to make them comfortable. I know that I am not alone in this, there are people out there trying to make people lucky. But, if the question is: what can new RPers do to make new connections? There's only one good answer. They may not like it, but that's the way it is. I'm sorry. I realize that we've been repeating this mantra, but that's just because it really is the key to success in making contacts. You can hold your breath until you're blue in the face, you can tell us that it worked because we were popular (while forgetting that all of us show up here initially either entirely or mostly bereft of friends and contacts). You can accuse us of holding up a giant middle-finger to those we're trying to help (seriously Kellach?) But you're all missing the point: we're offering our very best advice, based upon our own experience, the experience of others we know, and a basic understanding of social interaction. If you don't like that message, I'm sorry, but please don't shoot the messengers.

I think you're really overestimating any positive effect I get from that. Most everyone I meet is because I approach them at the QS or some other situation. I am very rarely approached - I can only think of two people who have done so recently. So... If you can tell me where to find this circle of popular RP friends who always want to RP with me I'd really appreciate it! ^^ All I am saying is there is reason for hope! Things are probably a -whole- lot less about who knows who than you think. A huge chunk, if not the majority of RPers in Ul'Dah aren't even on the RPC to figure out who the supposedly popular people are. I just encourage people to do the best the can and summon the courage to start social encounters. That really is the hardest part. Yawn... I typed this on my phone before bed, please forgive the weirdness!

And I always was? I was never entirely new to the RPC, with all of my active RP friends having quit, my FC having fallen apart, and no real idea where to begin or where to go to find RP? I was close to quitting because the game just hadn't been fun for a little while. I couldn't find RP in Gridania, and I didn't really care for Ul'dah. I met new people first on the forum, and then in-game. I did have to make the hard decision to cut my ties to Gridania and move on to Ul'dah, something that today I do not regret at all (though I hope it is less necessary). I pushed my character onto a new trajectory, and put myself in position to meet new people on a regular basis. I did not simply leap onto the forums and find myself blessed with a bunch of friends. Instead I did exactly what I am suggesting: I approached people, I talked to them, I tried again and again to make friends. Sometimes it doesn't work, even now every night I RP at the Quick Sand I'll have people dismiss Aya with no desire to interact. That's just life... I don't know how else to put it That said, I think the majority of people that I RP with in a given week are entirely new to me. There are definitely recurring characters in my casual RP, people I know now from a year of interaction, but you'd probably be surprised how little time I get to have with these friends, and how much I spend with people I've never met before. That's less so at the moment with so much of my RP being centered around Verad's plot, but this is an anomaly for my time in FF RP. And the wonderful thing is that terrific and fun people are joining up fresh for FF RP every single day. Its a beautiful, wonderful thing. I cast no blame! I am only offering advice. The onus falls unfairly on new people, that's just an unfortunate fact of social interaction. By the way, for a while when I first started to RP in Ul'dah I even did exactly what Nara'to described! He's probably done an even better job of it than I did. The Quick Sand was a pretty sleepy place back then.. and.. it never did any good for me either. It was only when I started to approach people more frequently that things started to get better. And I do realize it won't work for everyone, but I think until you've given it a good try, you really don't know what the possibilities are. Social anxiety is a very real thing (I certainly feel it too), and some of our initial attempts are clumsy and awkward. But, as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I have not, and I still (quite simply) disagree entirely. My assessment of our community is diametrically at odds with yours, and that's just all there is to it. Outside of these forums I hear the exact opposite of what you're expressing: I hear comments about how wonderful our community is, how welcoming, nice, and helpful it is. I hear from players so happy they switched servers, and from those brand new to the game who feel it is a breath of fresh air to have so many RPers around. I can't comment on why your experience has been so different, I really have no idea. I am sorry it has been, and I'm glad to hear that your FC has at least made things better! There are certainly anecdotal examples of some of the things you've mentioned, and I've observed what I'd consider negative trends in certain groups, and in certain FCs at times too, but that's what happens in a community with this many people. Its not all lollipops and rainbows, but overall its a really great place for RP! So my advice is exactly the same as it was: keep trying! Be optimistic! Be persistent! We're out there! Fun is just waiting to happen!

Just going to say that I disagree entirely Put your foot in the door, do your best to try to talk people! Try not to get discouraged. It is always hard to make friends. This is true everywhere. But there are plenty out there just waiting to be found, and once you make a couple, you'll make many more much more quickly!

Nara'to, its hard to meet new people. I understand that well, and I've been through the same challenges. My best advice is simple: talk to people. Don't emote about being approachable, approach people instead. If you stand alone emote about being approachable, and no one approaches you, then no one in the entire situation is approaching anyone else, in this you're no less guilty than those you're frustrated with. You just have to bite the bullet and actually approach someone to broach conversation. You may have to try several times to have any success. You may run into someone who isn't friendly, who isn't interested, or is afk, or who simply misses that you're trying to interact with them (especially a problem in a crowded area). OOC whispers can be helpful in this regard, to let someone know you're trying to approach them. But, the bottom line is that there are is an absolute abundance of RPers on the server, most of whom are happy to meet new people. Getting your foot in the door is the hard part, just as it is when trying to make connections in real life. There's simply no substitute for putting your foot in as many doors as you can bear until you find the right ones.