Zhavi

I really need to like, slap this in my quotebox or something so people can use it to tell me off. On the other hand, it's okay to not like what people are doing and to express that. If you're frustrated or whatever, it's not good to just hold that in and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. Pretty much, there is always someone who will like what you're doing, and someone who won't like what you're doing. Neither side should be punished for the way they feel. >< done being offtopic, sorry.

You're one of the last people I would ever accuse of special-snowflakeyness. Sometimes characters have traits that mark them out to be different from everyone else. So what? When it comes to looking at characters critically, beyond the whole thing I have about putting your fun first (because, seriously, at the end of the day it's rp, for fun, and it honestly it shouldn't matter whether or not people like or don't like what you're doing. There's always at least a few other people who will like your style; just don't expect everyone to accept it or want to rp with you), looking at a character objectively, if we all just tiptoed around refusing to go outside of the box because onoes someone might be upset then things would get pretty fucking boring. You've always been one of those people I look at and think 'wow, he really knows what he's about' -- you're not the type who just willy-nilly puts things together because you can. From what I've seen of you and your writing, you think things through. I, at least, can respect that. So, you know, you decide you want to do this thing for your character that's a bit on the pushing-boundaries side of things, why not? So you keep those legs, you paint them red if you need to, and you wear them with pride.

I am always open to criminal anything, though I keep my character locked to Limsa Lominsa (she's a street rat, and never leaves). While Zhi wouldn't join that sort of group, she'd definitely try to get involved as a contractor of some sort should they operate in Limsa.

Pretty much I always feel like I have something to prove to everyone, maybe especially myself. But, I also want to rp. So, fuck it, if I see someone interesting I send them a pm and just hope that they'll be forgiving enough of my eccentricities and vagaries to want to keep rping with me. Some people ditch me after awhile, others stick with me for years (and I always have this nagging feeling that I'm being annoying, but eh). The only thing you can do is keep pushing and keep moving forward, because the other option is to not move forward at all. To me, the latter just isn't acceptable.

Honestly, I rped Zhi as stealthy before rogue went live, so now that it's live .... I'll use the skill as a visual cue, but otherwise I'll keep rping her the same: she's sneaky, but if anyone looks in the right direction or smells her or uses other cues then she'll be caught. ...I should really get her to fifty and start leveling rogue. /failure

"Did ye?" Zhi's smirk was nasty. Her ears flicked to the sides and then back as she walked up the plank and onto the ship. She shrugged again, taking the narrow stairs down into the refitted lower deck that served as bar and general hangout of ne'er-do-wells. "I'd've found me a lass wi' a prettier face." The bar was crowded as it ever was at night. The lighting had been done with care; taverns were usually powder kegs, but being on the water added new, funner dangers. The 'keep was behind his well-worn and oiled bar, filling orders and keeping a weather eye on his clientele when possible. He was tough, old hand, and an ugly fuck to boot. He'd been through the grinder, and was near impossible to make flinch. He'd seen all matter of toughs, and had all number of toughs kicked out for causing problems. The rest of the clientele was scarce better: a smelly, raucous, jovial crowd as apt to drink as game as deal. Though newcomers were noticed and noted, most of them kept to their own business, though there were plenty who wouldn't mind eavesdropping should they be able to over the din. Thing was, the din made it particularly difficult; it was why it was one of Zhi's favored spots to meet folk. Well, had been. Now that she had a bounty on her head she was shy of making any public appearances, but since she was going to be edging out into the open to find the gadabout lad, she might as well prove she hadn't gone totally craven. The disinterest that was shown her entrance was almost insulting, but she swallowed it with what good grace she had and picked her way over to a small table in the middle of the room. Not ideal seating, but the place was almost full. It couldn't be helped. Service was slow, what with the crowd, so Zhi started talking. A wench would come over eventually, and she wasn't about to fight her way through the press at the bar. "Th'lad was visitin' from out o'town. Been here fer a moon afore he vanished, spent most his time off th'docks 'round th'south spire. Easiest place t'start askin' questions, seems t'me."

Gritty, gritty, gritty, dirty. I wanted Zhi to be in-your-face gross, the sort who rarely says no to anything, has a chip on her shoulder, and rarely lets anything get her down. She gets moody, frustrated, but most of the time I picture her as having a cocky grin and an indomitable you-can't-get-me-down sort of attitude. She makes a ton of mistakes, and she does enough stupid things to make me cringe while I'm writing it, but she always manages to come out of it on her feet. Even if she's limping and all bruised to hell. I don't particularly like writing comedy; I have exactly one character meant to be lighthearted, and the rp she's in is inevitably black humor-- plenty of people die or get crippled, but done in that sort of penny-awful style with some Black Adder snark tossed in. And lots of breaking the third wall. So if there's one thing I'd say is nearly absent from my rp with her, it'd definitely be comedy (though I do add humor, but inevitably it's the make-others-groan sort >>). Still, I try to keep her varied, but there's inevitably that filter of awful. She's a downtrodden sort of pathetic, and even when she's chest out and chin up I like to toss down little reminders. She's nothing, a nobody, and she sure as hell ain't no hero. ....and the only action I seem to do with her ever is when she's getting beat up. Except that one time she killed someone, but that was too much of a backstab to really count.

Zhi went stiff, and her face screwed up in annoyance. Right. That. "Nnn," was her initial comment, couched in a wellspring of reluctance. She waited, lips pushed out in an expression somewhere between a pout and a scowl, and finally relented with another, "nnn," though this one held a growl. Her options were slim, indeed. Oh, she could go to the bard, but she had a feeling he might turn her in for his own twisted version of fun. He was a mercurial ally at the best of times; put money in the picture and, well, she had his measure, but that was too much for even her to predict. "Fine." The word was cold, and bitten off, aimed at Flit as if he was to blame for her predicament. "Ye go an' deal wi' th' woman. If she wants t'meet wi' me, we'll arrange a meetin' place. Fer now, ye go t'her, an' ye . . . lay low." Threat was implied in the snarl she put up on display; her doubt and her unease clear. "Don't ye dare be leadin' none back t'me door, flittermouse."

Zhi stared down at him, and in that moment she knew she could take the book and be gone before he awoke. She knew she could escape him. She knew she could hand her reward over to Galleon, complete the contract, and be on her merry way. Lalataru didn't know the city like she knew the city; she doubted he'd find her. Styrmsthal posed more of a problem, but she had confidence in herself. What she didn't have confidence in was Galleon. She was expendable, had been from the beginning, and the way the man wanted the book -- he was like as not to kill her over it, good job or no. But, if she were to switch sides, she had no guarantee Lalataru wouldn't kill her, either. Oh, sure, he played the nice uncle up to the hilt, the man who took in strays and kept them like pets, but she'd not seem him pressed by betrayal. As far as she knew, he might as well be ruthless once his little games ceased to amuse him, for all his reputation painted him as an upstanding member of the Arcanist's Guild. She didn't trust none of them. The book was heavy as she took it fully from the lalafel, its weight perhaps a testament to what she was taking on by its removal. Either way, she courted death. Either way was a tricky road. But she knew the tricks Galleon was likely to play, knew his kind. He wallowed in his own filth, and she would see it. But Lalataru? He was too much an enigma. Too much a risk. She left without making a sound, book securely tucked under her arm.

Zhi shrugged; she could appreciate having someone be dead, had contracted such services for her own needs in the past when she could afford it. Problem with such services was that you got what you paid for, and she could never quite pay enough. The walk-up to the ship was damp, and smelled strongly of fish, vomit and alcohol. Typical for a dive bar, typical for lowtown. All the same, there was a hint of something delicious marinating under the nastiness, and it mixed with the other scents to form something truly nauseating. Smelled like home. She paused with her foot on the plank that served as entrance to the ship, and turned to Goultard. "So then, mate, ye ripe t'help me in me search, or am I drinkin' by me lonesome t'night?" Zhi had no need for Goultard if they weren't dealing, and she'd no intention of social niceties with the other woman if there wasn't anything in it for her.

Awhile back I did a double date with the guy I was dating then and some friends. Went to a *cough* unowned bit of land, cut down a couple trees, strapped them down in the friends' pickup truck, took them home. . .except we didn't strap them both down equally well, and one slid out from under the straps. Turns out a small sitka spruce turns into kindling when it hits the road at 60-65 mph. Luckily no one was behind us, that could have been very bad. Wound up getting another one later, and that time there were no mishaps. LESSON BEING: make sure your tree is secure when you take it home! Very, very secure.

I like cats. That's it.

Yeah. I have never had someone approach me for rp -- not unless they already knew me. The closest was when I pmed Raz for the first time; he told me he'd intended to message me but I'd beaten him to the punch. Yeah, and that's the reason for why I generally reach out oocly first -- Zhi tends to be not very nice, and I always want to make sure people know that's the character, and definitely not me. edit- fuck, I forgot. Coat actually did ask me to rp as part of her arc with Ruru and Ruru's brother! That counts; I'd never rped with her before. :3

That's why, to me, it's the first step. If it keeps happening, more than a few times, then you go for the alternate method of contact and the 'hey, I noticed ___ and I was wondering ___.' Too often, in my experience, people will sort of try to sidestep what they actually want to say, and the recipient either doesn't understand what you're getting at or understands it differently from the way you meant it. Being clear is important. Downside is that yeah, you do face the potential for equally clear rejection (or, imo, what's worse: the recipient doesn't know how to respond and so just...doesn't). Take baby steps. If you invest a lot of emotion in a lot of new people, it's going to be a lot more draining and stressful when miscommunication and/or other issues crop up. People are people -- ain't none of us perfect, and the acquaintance you thought was one way might wind up to be another way, and suddenly you don't match as well any more. That's why, to me, it makes a lot more sense to work up slowly if you're easily hurt or tend to invest a lot of yourself into one person. But, like you said, it does suck much more if you're isolated to begin with. There aren't any words that will ease that sting -- but do remember social rejection is something everyone faces down. Keep trying. Eventually you'll find some gems in the pile of rocks. ...and to reiterate, communication is super duper important. Unless they are ignoring you across multiple means of communication, don't give up after a few times. Especially when it comes to in game stuff -- back when I was an officer for a raiding guild I can't tell you how many times I'd miss whispers from potential recruits due to being caught up in guild stuff, planning stuff, or zoning out farming -- only to have them leave a post on our main recruitment thread that I didn't respond. >< It does happen!

Sometimes it's good to take a step back. Some people are like me, and you know that sometimes I don't respond -- either I'm overwhelmed with something else going on, or I'm afk, or I just didn't see the alert/message/whatever. If it happens persistently and you've tried alternate means of contact then yeah, I totally get the 'oh, huh, guess they don't really look at me the same way I do them' -- and that does hurt. Buuut y'know. Give the benefit of the doubt first. And then try to talk. Sometimes all it takes is a 'hey, is everything okay?' or a 'I noticed ____, wanna talk about it?' to get things moving. I have misunderstandings with people too, and generally (there are exceptions) all it takes is that initial probe to check in to settle things out. Just make sure you don't put pressure on them and come at it with a positive attitude; if someone is already feeling negative in some way or overwhelmed or stressed or whatever and they get a feeling like you're upset with them, the last thing they're gonna wanna do is talk. Cuz I mean, hell, I had a very close friend who I roomed with awhile back tell me I was too needy right after all the shit imploded in my personal life. Talk about a big ouch! I had to step back, assess how I was acting, not talk to him for a day or two, and then go back in and talk about it. Things are back to being cool, and, y'know, I was relying on him for more support then I should have, considering the dynamic between us (normally I go to my very close girlfriends for that kinda stuff, but they were dealing with crap of their own and I didn't want to overload them >>). Everyone is different, everyone reacts to social situations and cues differently. Sometimes all it takes is taking a step back and re-assessing, going in for a neutral conversation, and building back up. Other times you just gotta accept that the individual(s) in question just isn't interested in the same sort of social interaction you are -- that or the communication styles are too different. I'm not that great of a conversationalist, so I don't usually start conversations. When I have something to say, I say it. Otherwise I'm pretty quiet.

Ahahah, that sounds entertaining. I love it when people get critical, because oh-so-often they've got some blind spots themselves.

I think a lot of people wind up with social acquaintances over friends, especially online where there are so many people. I'm an introvert. Too much social interaction wears me out; it's why I actively avoid making new friends in person (social contacts, yes. Actual friend-friends, no) -- I can barely give the few I have quality time, so why want more? It's the same in game. If people have a lot of social interactions, chances are most of them won't be friends-friends; simply put, their attention will be too spread out to focus enough on more than a select few. And in that vein, they probably mean well, but ... are just too spread out. Especially if there's multiple things they want to do; I've been known to forget about things I said I was going to do, particularly if I thought (for some reason) that I was waiting on the other person for something. Ooops. Your best bet is open communication. But, I dunno, to me -- I don't make many friends online, for the same reason I don't make friends in person. Yes, I like a wide number of people and yes, I always try to be available if someone needs a sympathetic ear, but until you know the names of some of the people important to me in person, my name, and I know your name and some of your important people and other details about your life -- until I'm actively engaging you in communication outside of the game and checking up on you every so often -- I don't consider us friends. Doesn't mean I don't regard people positively or would be adverse to becoming friends, but to me there are many social levels between someone I just met and someone I'll set my personal time aside for when things go south for the other person. That said, <3s and hugs. edit - to clarify, perhaps some of it is that the type of friends you want to be and the type of friends/acquaintances the other party/ies want to be are two separate things. BUT I'M YOUR FRIEND SO THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING RIGHT?!

After I make my characters I immediately start tying in songs to them. Many of my characters have specific playlists, and the music ranges from medieval sephardic arrangements (think when the Moors invaded Spain and then got kicked to the curb) to classical, to rap, pop and techno, with a dash of Middle Eastern and a few others. I do this as eventually I start associating that music with the character, and it either helps with the flow of the writing or helps me force it when I'm having a tough time rping.

I originally wanted to use the name 'Savia', pulled from a character concept I've had for awhile but never formally put into play as actual-fleshed-out-character. However, it didn't quite work with miqo'te naming conventions, so I played around a bit with the sounds until I arrived at Zavi, and then threw in the 'h' both because I wanted the shzuh sound, and for the miqo'te hissing thing. I deliberately used a name-name, as opposed to something more simple and street, despite the fact that Zhi's mother is a whore and city-born (second generation). Zhi's mother was an idealist, a lover, and a dreamer. Though she broke away from her parents (or was kicked out, depending on who you asked), she idealized Keeper culture and picked a name for her daughter that she felt conveyed that ideal. Streetrunner/Gutterborn was my way of contrasting that beloved child with the nasty, crass person Zhi eventually became. Yes, Zhi's mother could have given her bastard child a surname, but 1 - she wasn't about to use her parents', and 2 - she didn't actually know appropriate Keeper surnames. Zhi's mother therefore only gave her child the single name, Zhavi, and it was through Zhi's interaction with others on the street that she essentially became Gutterborn: a street kid who was a bastard and had no claim on an actual surname. Zhi's naming herself Streetrunner was a way of molding herself, of excising herself from a past she feels she's risen above (there is some denial, deep down, towards some of the things that happened in the past, a perception that it happened to the other her who was weak and cowardly, and that she is no longer that person). It's her way of taking herself back from the people who would use her. The irony, of course, is that she's still beholden to any number of people, still a child in many ways, and very much a product of her upbringing. She runs the streets, that's it: when you look at her and what she is, there really isn't anything speshul that makes her any better than where she came from, and there's certainly a lot of things that make her worse than those she openly despises. Which, of course, leads to the name her mother used to use affectionately: Zhio. There's a reason why there was only ever one player-character who used it (Miza Fhey), and why there are exactly two NPCs who use it affectionately, or at least as a means of establishing familiarity. 'Zhio' is my way of recalling her humanity (errr, miqo'te-y?), of showing that she isn't a total lost cause. Even though she's a scumbag and a morally corrupt person, there's still that little girl in there, down deep, wishing for something better and struggling to be someone who matters. Every time I use it in writing it's to establish that she is capable of forming positive relationships, even if they are terribly warped and probably carry unhealthy undertones. It shows that she still accepts, even if it's deeply subconscious, that she's not the cold-hearted bitch she thinks she is who is totally devoid of warmth or emotions. She isn't a completely lost cause -- but she's definitely not on the right path.

I haven't, but one of my kinda coworkers (she's in a different building, but same non-profit) has lupus and crohn's and at one point a cancer scare. It's possible she has other stuff wrong with her that I'm not aware of (I'm not super close with her), but from everything I've heard, it's rough. Communication is always important, but it's doubly so for you. She's had to be very upfront with her supervisors, and with the non-profit, and as a result she gets a little more leeway to deal with medical emergencies and flare-ups and the sometimes seemingly endless testing. For you, that means being up-front with your professors. It's a chronic thing, so that means at the start of the semester you should send an email or have a chat explaining that you have this thing, and you can bring proof, but if you get xyz happening, you might need some leeway. Hell, I know all of the professors I've had have it stated in the syllabus that there will be few exemptions from stuff -- except when it comes to genuine medical emergencies or difficulties. Yours definitely applies. And I know if you're anything like me, you're going to want to keep struggling and flaming out without asking for help. Maybe you don't want the pity or the implication that you're not strong enough. Those feelings can be good when it comes to pushing yourself, but they can also be bad. Very, very bad. Everyone deserves a break sometimes. You are no exception. Communicate with your professors, don't be afraid to get a little extra help when you're getting pummeled by things you can't control. Yeah, true, you might get a hardass here or there who is misanthropic and wouldn't give a shit even if you were suddenly literally unable to physically complete the homework -- but I'm willing to bet such asswipes will be the vast minority. I wish you the best. <3

YEAH I WENT THERE. I've actually had Tank! in her playlist pretty much since I made her. >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw3fN3OPk3A

Zhi's return smile was genuine in its mirth, though it only flashed for a few seconds before it dimmed. Still, her demeanor was one of amusement. "Kink," she said, her return sally to the introductions. She turned them south, towards Fisherman's Bottom, and one of her favorite dives: Her Highness. It was a small ship, cozied up behind the Fisherman's Guild: neutral territory and loud, with a strict prohibition on violence upheld by all its regulars. She walked slowly. "Jahi'a is th'lad's name. Goes by Scuzz. Young adult. Dab hand wi' alchemy, from what I hear. Likely why he's been rumored t'be hangin' round Oath. Supposedly." She spat. "Can't convince me they ain't more'n some wives' tale -- contract killers what kill fer pleasure o'er gil. Ain't make much sense t'me, nor them bein' so secretive." She rolled her eyes. "But people get spooked, an' no use botherin' wi' somethin' might get ye killed. I wouldn't've, not 'cept his uncle bribin' me wi' favors. Keto'to, calls hisself Guttersnipe. Old Keeper. He's th'lad's uncle. Heard o' him?"

"Missin' Keeper." Zhi shoved her hands back into her pockets. "Normally ain't worth me time, 'cept he was runnin' 'round wi' the Oaths. No one wants nothin' t'do wi' it -- so his uncle called in a favor wi' me." Her right ear flicked towards Goultard. "That too much trouble fer a kind lass like yerself?"

Zhi's grin was sudden, wide, and showed most of her teeth. "Ran out o' options, heard some fishwife gabblin' on 'bout some elezen walkin' all th' wrong circles." She paused, grin dimming, and tapped a finger against her chin. She slowed. "'R all th'right ones. Plenty o'faces in th'city, so why's yer face comin' up now, after I've been up an' down? Either yer sunk an' ain't worth me time, or. . ." she stopped, "folk ain't seen 'nuff o' yerself t'put no pieces t'gether, an' yer more interestin' then ye seem t'be." Zhi thumbed her nose. "What do I know, noways? I'm jes some lowly streetrunner." She started walking again.

Tension seemed to bleed out of Zhi the further away they walked from the Aftcastle. And they did walk; though there were any number of places she could have stopped at, she bypassed all of them. "If it ain't, no use followin' me. Can't keep meself out o' it, I can't. An' if ye ain't. . .kind, then mebbe I've been on after th'wrong waggin' tongues." She looked askance at Goultard, gauging the woman's expression. She smiled, and shrugged. "It'd jes be too much work fer a lass like yerself. I wouldn't want t'strain yer good graces."