Kuzhuk

Welcome to Balmung! you're gonna like it here

Lots of details, nice! Seems like a kind-hearted character. Welcome to the community!

https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Avelyn_Wrynn < a working link, I'll read and give you some feedback in a sec!

Closed.

This is fantastic news. I didn't expect Win 10 to offer much performance over Win 8.1, which itself offered a performance boost over windows 7. I am so excited. Thanks for testing.

I'd like to RP with you on Tiergan. Your lalafel was great. Hit me or Fina up ingame or we'll probably find you!

Believing yourself better than others is pretty dangerous. I'm not saying I never do it, but even when I do it I always put a little asterisk by the thought in my mind, because I'm not that great. Even though there are differences in skill levels (RP and otherwise), it's not like we're a bunch of published authors blowing time in Eorzea before our next script is due. I find that if you want to criticize (yourself and others) comparisons are extremely unhelpful. It doesn't matter if that person is worse than you. What matters is simple: they're doing something poorly. Delve into why and give advice tactfully and thoughtfully to fix the problem or seek to avoid them. Looking down on them is supremely unhelpful (though sometimes a guilty pleasure we all fall victim to, myself included). And I cannot emphasis enough the previously bolded portion. Whenever you seek to criticize others you ought to consider what's motivating you in doing so. Are you pointing out faults to satisfy some kind of selfish drive or are you looking to positively alter the problem you're criticizing? If it's the former, keep your thoughts private. If it's the latter, well, give it a lot of thought. Try very hard to remain easy to digest. Education isn't easy. Nevermind the difficulty of transmitting ideas or the possibility that the student is incapable of learning and executing them, in this arena there's the added difficulty of them disagreeing that they've done anything wrong to begin with. It takes a lot of effort to breach such topics, and even more to remain constructive. In the end, it's hard to look at conflict as worth resolving. UNLESS you're dealing with an exceptional person, and sometimes you are (back to the whole 'elite' few thing). So my most cynical of conclusions? Learn not to engage. Look for the rare few who are humble enough to listen to the suggestions of others without becoming defensive or agitated. They're the truly elite.

If you can quote to me where I advocated for changing other people's RP it'd be helpful in letting me know where this misconception arose. I'm actually really confused as to why so many people were accusing me of that. I mean, my first post made it clear that I wasn't sure that there was a solution and that I was trying to try to avoid that kind of RP as my solution... I don't know where the idea that I was looking to change other people came from.

I edited it out before I even saw your post because you're right, using that turn of phrase was unfair. When I went back and read what I wrote again I realized it might be hurtful and inaccurate. I didn't mean to be, and I apologize for any hurt that particular phrasing caused you. The rest of my points stand and you've doubled down on the condescension. I do not appreciate this.

Such uncomfortableness is merely a product of the society you were raised in. You must separate the accepted 'norm' from actual biology and learn some history. It wasn't until the mid 1800's in real life that people were suddenly considered "minors" under a specific age. That was when the conservative right lobbied for age of consent laws to try and cut down on human sex trafficking and forced marriages. Before then, you were almost a full adult by 14. That is when biology naturally takes over. That is when nature intended the human species to be mature. If a child is not emotionally developed enough to handle life by then, it is society's/the parent's fault, not nature. Not the Government. That being said, the government is still in charge here, sadly. And if they say such things are illegal, then you must contend with their backing of force. All I'm saying is that before you say "That makes me uncomfortable", take a look at WHY you feel that way and put it in perspective over the course of all of human history. If your view makes absolutely no biological sense, perhaps you should reconsider it. Condescension not withstanding, there are a number of factual and structural problems with this argument. First of all, how people felt in the past about the age of consent is irrelevant to the subject of what the age of consent should be today. That's an argument from antiquity or tradition, which has nothing to do with your later submitted argument from biology. There's a big problem there in that we actually know more about biological development today than people did in the 1850s... Secondly, people are not fully matured even on a simple biological level at 14. Puberty does not end until age 16 on average (source: http://www.pamf.org/parenting-teens/health/growth-development/pre-growth.html). And there are many more ways to mature aside from puberty (neurological development takes much longer for instance). Finally, your entire post is off the topic of "how to cope with minors doing things adults shouldn't see" and has instead chosen to defend the idea of adults seeing these things. I am not talking about what the age of consent would be in Eorzea. We aren't talking about realistic RP or what we personally think the age of consent should be. I appreciate the discussion, but this is not the place for advocating for lowering the age of consent to 14.

Vesperia was very easy to enjoy. The plot got a little long winded, but the characters were mostly very relatable. It was the last tales of game I was able to finish.

By generation, loose RPG definition (SRPG, ARPG, turn-based RPG), FF games omitted (but they would be included)! NES - Dragon Warrior SNES - Earthbound, Bahamut Lagoon, Ogre Battle, Lagoon, Secret of Mana, Chrono Trigger, Illusion of Gaia, Harvest Moon, Shadowrun, Terragnima, Breath of fire 1 & 2, Lufia II, 7th Saga, Super Mario RPG, Front Mission Old PC games - Fallout 1 & 2 & Tactics, Asheron's Call PS1 - Chrono Cross, Legend of Dragoon, Star Ocean 2, Breath of Fire 3 & 4, Wild Arms 1 & 2, Front Mission 3, Tales of Destiny, Tactics Ogre, Jade Cocoon, Vandal Hearts 2 PS2 - Rogue Galaxy, Shadow Hearts 1 & 2, Disgaea 1 & 2, Dragon Quest 8, Persona 3, Kingdom Hearts 1, Xenosaga EP 1, Tales of the Abyss, Suikoden 3, Breath of Fire V, Wild Arms 3, Radiata Stories, Grandia 3, Front Mission 4 Xbox - Morrowind, Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2 Xbox 360 - Oblivion, Tales of Vesperia PS3 - Demon's Souls, Dark Souls, Disgaea D2, Ni No Kuni, Valkyria Chronicles PC - Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Skyrim, Xcom EU & EW Various platforms out of chronological order of stuff I forgot: Wild Arms XF, Monster Rancher, Dragon Egg, Freedom Wars, Persona 4 Golden, Star Ocean: The First Departure, Monster Hunter FU, Brave Fencer Musashi

Any depiction of sexually active minors makes me uncomfortable, yeah. And it makes me far more uncomfortable if the person isn't a minor, because it fringes on pedophilia.

I know where you're coming from Dog. My character sounds A LOT like yours, scarily so. And of course, OOC -- no way in hell I'm going anywhere near that. Not at all. Minors being sexually active in a place where I can see it just makes me feel VERY uncomfortable.

What bothers me about it is you don't actually know that the people RPing as 16 year olds are 16... It's a huge grey area for explotation, and I'm not even sure if it's legal to be doing it, engaging in it, or even seeing it. It might actually fall under child pornography depending on how far people take it.

Full disclosure: I'm 30 IRL, I RP a character who is 31. Eorzea is not the real world. It's an important thing to keep in mind, but unfortunately our experiences in RP cannot always be completely separated from RL. Given my age, seeing characters under the age of 18 behaving salaciously, IC or not, makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've involuntarily witnessed sixteen year olds RP in the midst of heavy flirting, getting wasted in public and talking about their proclivities, etc. etc. etc. In fact, once my character hit on a miqo'te in a bar only to find out she's supposed to be sixteen IC -- that was EXTREMELY awkward. I really don't like it, but I'm not so sure that there's an actual solution to the problem aside from RPing in more exclusive venues. I tend to RP in public a lot, so I wish we had some kind of ingame character/player profile system to determine the age of people we're RPing with so I could avoid the young'ins. Thoughts?

Bleed is why I RP. Without it, I don't think I'd see much of a point in it. In fact, it's why I bother to experience narrative at all. I want to feel things but that doesn't mean that everything I feel will be pleasant or even what I was looking to feel at the time. And that's okay. It's important to keep in mind that your lack of complete control over feelings is what gives those feelings meaning. If you always got exactly the response you wanted out of writing (internally and externally) there would be no challenge to it. It would rob others of any sense of agency. If the outside world cannot push back and change what you intended to happen then you're looking for a captive audience not participants in your collective fiction. In my experience the biggest problems with bleed usually come about when someone knows what they want to happen and people defy their expectations. It takes maturity, skill, and personal fortitude to accept that you can't always get what you want out of RP. Conflict in general is difficult to manage. Too many RPers choose characters with few faults (or faults that are hidden positives, job-interview syndrome) that they are far too attached to and then take their IC disagreements OOC because fundamentally they never intended their character to have a weakness where other people found it. I think every writer has to accept that their characters are limited by their own fallibility to some degree and we're all imperfect. It is a fact that your character will be even more imperfect than you intended. Unfortunately it's very easy for critical and/or antagonistic characters to make themselves into pariahs OOC & IC when people can't exercise self-control. Those characters drive conflict which makes plot interesting, so we need them around. Therefore it's up to every individual RPer to be professional and minimize OOC/IC contamination when it's detrimental to the RPing experience. Thankfully, FFXIV has been one of the better communities I've come across in this regard. It hasn't really been a problem for me yet here. I'm very heartened by that.

If her parents were killed in Ala Mhigo by garleans, this could've happened anywhere from 20 years ago to 5 years ago, since the Ala Mhigan resistance has been operating for a long time. Minfilia's father was part of that resistance. She'd have to have been an adult to try and open an orphanage while being a child during the actual events, so I'd say she could be anywhere from 25 to 35.

I'm sure it can be read differently (if you're more charitable and less literal about the statement) but yes, it does seem to be an essentialist statement. There are a lot of essentialist statements in that little paragraph. What distinguishes that statement from men "fundamentally" being unable to do a thing in such a way that makes that statement problematic because of its essentialism, but the other correct? You have a point here. Given that gender identity is so fluid and weird, a word like "fundamental" probably shouldn't be used. I was just making the assertion that someone who identifies and presents themself to the world as a man lacks first-hand access to the socially-constructed experience of being a woman, and that's a pretty big barrier to presenting that experience with a high degree of accuracy through RPing unless you're careful and meticulous about how you do it.

Yeah, it makes sense and you're definitely adding something to the discussion. Also, wish fulfillment doesn't JUST exist when you're RPing across genders. You can make a character that's about wish fulfillment that is your own gender. I'm not saying any of these things have to be problems, just that they CAN make things tricky and we should be aware of them.

I'm sure it can be read differently (if you're more charitable and less literal about the statement) but yes, it does seem to be an essentialist statement. There are a lot of essentialist statements in that little paragraph.

No. Just no. While some men are clearly oblivious to systematic sexism, they are entirely capable of understanding female perspective via education and human empathy. This is the same toxic thinking that TERFs use to shut out the trans community and frankly I'm appalled to see it here. I agree with the bolded statement and do not see it as conflicting what you quoted that I said.

Here's another good example. The creator of Bayonetta had this to say about his favorite scene from the game: Game creation isn't quite the same as roleplaying, but people with shitty attitudes towards women often out themselves similarly when talking about their RP.

So, how do you distinguish who has thought it out and who has not? It's nearly impossible to tell from IC dialogue, sometimes possible to tell from emotes, and almost always possible to tell from an OOC discussion. For example, if someone were to emote the following: "Tina tries not to hit Jacob, but is a woman and therefore irrational and punches him anyway" it would be pretty obviously sexist. I have seen stuff that is that bad on occasion. And sometimes when people talk about their characters OOC it becomes fairly obvious that they have ill intent...

By slapdash I meant not thought out. If you make a character that's intentionally upsetting that's a different thing altogether. I fully support making characters that behave in crappy ways. I guess the kind of RPers I want to be involved with and the kind of RPers I don't can be summed up like this: is the regressive attitude coming from an OOC place or an IC place? If it's the former, I probably don't want to play with you. And that's okay; I don't expect the world to be shaped according to my wants and desires. Thus my original cavaet of "whether or not this is a problem is up to your personal priorities."