THE WRESTLING THREAD OOOH YEAH

[Dogberry]

OK MARKS AND SMARKS I KNOW WARREN AND I AREN'T THE ONLY WRESTLING NERDS IN HERE GET IN HERE AND SOUND OFF! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!

 

WWE comes to my town later this month. Wife wants to go but I have to work. Not really sure I want to see Roman Reigns and his half jump stumble facepunch or his horrible looking spear. Even worse, he might try to talk. Ew.

 

Can we just retire the spear as a finisher? The only person who ever made a spear look finisher level devestating was Goldberg, and he only used it to set up for the Jackhammer. Goldberg was awesome at the beginning, man. I still pull up his early matches on the Network (only $9.99!).

 

Going to try to make it to a local indie show. Waiting for ROH to come back. Also, planning on going to a Chikara Pro one of these days.

 

But all this hype pales in comparison to... LUCHA UNDERGROUND JANUARY 27TH WOOOO!

[13uddy]

I haven't actively watched wrestling since just before the end of WCW and WWE being two separate companies.  It wasn't that I grew tired of it, but I moved and didn't have cable for a couple of years after, and by the time I did I just sort of fizzled out and felt completely lost.  But this year I've been drawn in to watching for one reason or another, such as Sting appearing on WWE (that really took me by surprise after how long he had said no).  

 

I still love watching old matches and special events, as well as those "Best of" of wrestlers I liked back in the day, but I'm only just now getting back in to watching with any sort of regularity and I don't recognize most of the people.  Even some of those I do recognize are different than I remember.  

 

I will say that my favorite wrestler of all time is Mick Foley.  He wasn't as skilled as many others, but the man poured his blood, sweat, tears and miscellaneous other body parts into his craft.  I even watched "Wife Swap" with my mom when he was on and I HATE that show (and I'm not too fond of watching TV with mom either because she talks the whole time).

[Ryanti]

I'm an old fashioned smark, I admit it.

 

I've been into pro wrestling since I was little. I still have retro posters of the Rock and Stone Cold in my room that I never took down.

 

Raw is coming to my town Febuary 1st. I'm not sure if I wanna go with the obvious bad state it's in. Maybe I'll buy cheap seats. It is something to do.

 

I'm a huge fan of NJPW and Lucha U (Though I'm behind on Lucha..)

 

I'm always ooen for talking about 'da business baby'.

[Caspar]

I read op in macho's voice. That is dogberry's voice in my mind forever now.

[Dogberry]

Man I freaking LOVE Mick Foley! Now that Dewey Foley is writing for WWE I am considering sending my wife to the WWE show with a "CANE DEWEY" sign because WWE creative is awful. It makes me smile that Dewey Foley is relevant again. Mostly so that I can make signs about hurting him.

[Steel Wolf]

A Spear is really only as good as the person who sells the bump, in my opinion. Sure, the right sort of build can lend the move the right panache, but its the other guy folding in half at the hit that makes a good Spear.

 

I think Roman Reigns gets the heat he does simply because he hits that "working man" nerve that the WWE loves to play up, especially in times like these where people feel like there's a war on the middle class.

 

I'm back in the game after years away, and I am still having fun. Kinda miss the "split rosters" thing thry had with Raw and SmackDown. I also freaking adore the New Day. Man, those guys are awesome.

 

And the best live show I went to was TNA Lockdown in Lowell, MA. Man, what a kickass event. Loudest and most exuberant fans I've ever sat amongst. And a hell of a show.

[Dogberry]

I don't know, like, I get that. Any given move has the setup and the sell, but Reigns, Charlotte, and even Edge, always look bad when they give the spear, no matter who's selling it. I just don't think it looks good.

 

New Day are like the best thing in WWE right now. And now they're teaming up with Team B.A.D. SASHA BANKS IS AMAZING!

[Ryanti]

I don't know, like, I get that. Any given move has the setup and the sell, but Reigns, Charlotte, and even Edge, always look bad when they give the spear, no matter who's selling it. I just don't think it looks good.

 

New Day are like the best thing in WWE right now. And now they're teaming up with Team B.A.D. SASHA BANKS IS AMAZING!

 

 

Goldberg has always had the best spears. His spears weren't simply shoulder punches to the gut, he ran you the hell over. Like a friggin' car wreck.

 

At any rate, did anyone catch Xzavier Woods playing the Final Fantasy victory theme on his trombone? Lololol.

[Telluride]

I was a massive Smark about ten years ago, but I stopped following about the time before Kane started going maskless, Diesel ripped his quad again in his first match after months of recuperation from a previous tear, and Brock Lesnar tried that big off-the-ropes Moonsault and missed really badly.

 

I've really lost sight of the whole thing, but I don't think I can ever get back into WWE while McMahon is still... McMahon.

 

Best match ever is still Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage in that hour-long, ladder-filled ruckus that solidified their legacies.

[Dogberry]

Yeah, Goldberg! New Day! I'm marking out here.

 

It's a shame that TNA is doing so poorly financially. I just... cannot believe that any sane person would hire Vince Russo and all the same guys who basically turned WCW to such crap. They had some really impressive things going for them. Everything I've seen of TNA just reminds me of the bad stuff of WCW, with very little of the things I liked about WCW. The X-Division had some pretty good stuff most of the time. That bugs me so much, I'm always a fan of more wrestling, and with TNA going under the biggest competition for WWE is... Ring of Honor? I think WWE has shown that without any real competition they just stagnate. A few acts will be good, like New Day, KO, Cesaro, the Four Horsewomen when they let them actually wrestle... but overall the WWE is just... They need a WCW. They need a Diane Sawyer to their Katie Couric.

[TheLastCandle]

I haven't followed wrestling since the early 2000's. But I do have a story:

 

Once, when I was but a wee lad (13, 14) I was forced to go to a dinner at my dad's country club. Not that there was anything particularly odd about that. The same scenario played out several times in my early teens while I lived in Dalton, Georgia: I'd fight, I'd scream, I'd end up putting on a suit and hanging out with my dad's boring friends' boring kids anyway. Whatever.

 

Only this time, as I picked at my overpriced pasta, I glimpsed an odd character standing at the wet bar having conversation with a group of no doubt very important people of the carpet industry. He was huge, bald, and dressed kind of sloppily compared to everyone else, all of which made him stand out.

 

I decided at once that he must be someone awesome.

 

As the crowd around him began to thin out, I decided to approach and introduce myself. "Hi, I'm James," I said, offering my hand. The man had a huge grin on his face as he gave me the hardest handshake I think I've ever received.

 

"GOLDBERG," he growled his name, like some manner of overly gruff Pokémon.

 

Not recognizing the name, I squinted at him. "Goldberg.. Okay, is that your last name or something?" People around me were laughing. I'm sure my face was some comical shade of red. But he just sort of grinned and said in a more 'normal guy' kind of voice, "Yeah, call me Bill if ya want."

 

The ensuing conversation was pretty unremarkable. "So how old are you? Whaddya wanna do when you grow up?" That kind of thing. We filled our plates while we talked, shook hands again, and I rejoined my family while he went to the table of whoever he was a guest of that night.

 

I had no fucking clue who I'd just spent the past few minutes talking to until the next day at school when I asked my friends if they'd ever heard of a 'Bill Goldberg.' I felt ridiculous for being 'out of the loop,' but that's how I became a fan of Goldberg and followed his career to the end. What a world class dude.

[Ryanti]

I haven't followed wrestling since the early 2000's. But I do have a story:

 

Once, when I was but a wee lad (13, 14) I was forced to go to a dinner at my dad's country club. Not that there was anything particularly odd about that. The same scenario played out several times in my early teens while I lived in Dalton, Georgia: I'd fight, I'd scream, I'd end up putting on a suit and hanging out with my dad's boring friends' boring kids anyway. Whatever.

 

Only this time, as I picked at my overpriced pasta, I glimpsed an odd character standing at the wet bar having conversation with a group of no doubt very important people of the carpet industry. He was huge, bald, and dressed kind of sloppily compared to everyone else, all of which made him stand out.

 

I decided at once that he must be someone awesome.

 

As the crowd around him began to thin out, I decided to approach and introduce myself. "Hi, I'm James," I said, offering my hand. The man had a huge grin on his face as he gave me the hardest handshake I think I've ever received.

 

"GOLDBERG," he growled his name, like some manner of overly gruff Pokémon.

 

Not recognizing the name, I squinted at him. "Goldberg.. Okay, is that your last name or something?" People around me were laughing. I'm sure my face was some comical shade of red. But he just sort of grinned and said in a more 'normal guy' kind of voice, "Yeah, call me Bill if ya want."

 

The ensuing conversation was pretty unremarkable. "So how old are you? Whaddya wanna do when you grow up?" That kind of thing. We filled our plates while we talked, shook hands again, and I rejoined my family while he went to the table of whoever he was a guest of that night.

 

I had no fucking clue who I'd just spent the past few minutes talking to until the next day at school when I asked my friends if they'd ever heard of a 'Bill Goldberg.' I felt ridiculous for being 'out of the loop,' but that's how I became a fan of Goldberg and followed his career to the end. What a world class dude.

 

That's amazing. Reminds me of something I forgot to talk about, which is a sinful thing to not mention.

 

I go with a bunch of friends to a sports bar every Thursday night close to downtown Birmingham. We'd show up at around 7 and fuck around till about 9. So I'm about to walk in, I lock my car and everything, and I noticed a crippled guy walking out of the place, but very slowly. He had what seemed to be his girlfriend next to her.

 

I was like "Oh, I better help him."

 

So I get to the door quickly to open it up, and this guy is slowly coming towards me on his crutches. I thought his face looked a little familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. There was just something about his face that I have seen before. And when he got close enough, I figured it out.

 

Oh shit, this is Seth Rollins, and he's coming right towards me.

 

I drew a complete blank because I wasn't sure if it was actually him or not (because NO ONE comes down here) so I looked over at his girlfriend (Who is her own wrestler herself) with kind of a still face. I probably looked strange. Seth had a beanie on and underarmor long sleeves so it was really hard to notice it was him unless you got close.

 

So I finally stand to the side, and help him out. He turns to me and says "Thank you." With his signature voice.That when I knew it was 100% him.

 

I was like "You're welcome, buddy." But in my mind I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking what the fuck?!?!?

 

So I turn on my smartphone in the sports bar and figured out that he had surgery the day before on his knee at UAB hospital which is my old college. SO IT WAS HIM. AND ZARA.

 

The worst thing ever was the fact that I had to hide my excitement because no one else there was a wrestling fan.

 

But my god, I helped Seth Rollins leave the restaurant lol.

[Warren Castille]

I have a similar story.

 

It's 2004. The Royal Rumble is in town, and friends of mine got tickets. They needed someone to fill seats, so I'm fucking THERE, man.

 

We take Septa downtown, because how else do you travel? I make up my signs on the train ("I Made My Sign On Septa") and we depart a smooth 90 minutes prior to opening bells. My party decides we should eat dinner first, so we head off in the opposite direction to find some grub. We're all holding signs, wearing shirts, you name it.

 

Someone yells at us from the third lane downtown. "Y'all know where you're goin'?" comes the questions, in a southern enough accent.

 

"Yeah! The Spectrum's just a block that way!" yells the leader of our party, gesturing towards the Wachovia Center. We never did unlearn the Core States Spectrum.

 

"Alright! Jus' checkin'! Didn't want you missin' the show!" The yeller-guy spoke and rolled the window up on his truck. The light changes, and traffic departs.

 

We make it about 30 seconds before we piece things together.

 

"That guy was bald, right?"

"He was in a truck, yeah?"

"That accent was Texan, wasn't it?"

 

And then we all realized motherfucking STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIIN was making sure we knew where the stadium was.

[Kellach Woods]

so how about that wrestle kingdom 10?

[Dogberry]

so how about that wrestle kingdom 10?

 

I'd love to watch it! Is it online anywhere?

[13uddy]

"GOLDBERG," he growled his name, like some manner of overly gruff Pokémon.

 

I choked on my Sprite laughing when I read that and now I can't get the mental image of an anime Goldberg coming out to the ring chanting variations of his own name over and over out of my head.  

 

And I think I'm going to rename my Machamp now.

 

I wish I could remember all the wrestlers I've met.  Nobody recent, but I met several indie and WWF wrestlers in the 80's when I was going through treatment for Leukemia when they would visit hospitals.  I used to have a ton of autographed pictures, but they ended up misplaced when we moved in the mid 90's.  

 

I do somewhat remember meeting Andre the Giant and making him laugh because I said when I grow up I either want to be big like him or a cyborg.

[Kellach Woods]

so how about that wrestle kingdom 10?

 

I'd love to watch it! Is it online anywhere?

 

I think NJPWWorld will carry it, but it hasn't happened yet.

 

Card is pretty cray.

[Ryanti]

so how about that wrestle kingdom 10?

 

I'd love to watch it! Is it online anywhere?

 

I think NJPWWorld will carry it, but it hasn't happened yet.

 

Card is pretty cray.

 

Watched it with a friend last year on PPV. It was absolutely the most amazing time I've had watching wrestling with a friend since the RA era.

 

Having JR there was a plus, even if he wasn't in top form.

 

I dunno if I watch it this year though.. I can't stand commentary that isn't in my own language. Is it gonna be broadcasted in English?

 

This is a great time btw to remind people to DVR NJPW on AXS TV if they have that channel. Mario Ranellio is THE best wrestling commentator since JR and he is absolutely perfect. Josh Barnett is also terrific but holy shit Mario can announce for a snail race and make it entertaining.

[Kellach Woods]

I dunno if I watch it this year though.. I can't stand commentary that isn't in my own language. Is it gonna be broadcasted in English?

 

Yep, sadly JR won't be calling it, but there'll be a broadcast with Kevin Kelly and Matt Striker.

 

I will miss "That's Shinsuke Nakamura, the King of Strong Style. What does that mean? That means he's a badass."

[4wheel]

ARDGkqf8wSo

 

Just gonna leave this here, enjoy fellow smarks.

[Warren Castille]

AND HERE WE GOOOO

 

SUNDAY NIGHT RAW Tables, Ladders and Chairs and Stairs?!

 

I'll have it on in the background while doing literally anything else.

[Dogberry]

I caught the pre-show for Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch. There was no need for that commercial. I'm not watching the rest.

[Asher]

Did you guys know that Leviathan is actually CM Punk?

 

Because he's the BEST IN THE WHOORRRRLLLLLLLL.

[Ryanti]

Did you guys know that Leviathan is actually CM Punk?

 

Because he's the BEST IN THE WHOORRRRLLLLLLLL.

 

[-no longer matters-]

I think the women's division of WWE is killing it right now. They do more technical wrestling than the Men's Division has done in decades. It's funny when I stopped watching a few years ago the women's division was alll about flips and shit, I come back and it's submission hold city and it's awesome.

 

I'm a freaking huge Paige fan now.