Character critique/wiki help

[Nevermoar]

Good evening everyone. Fairly new player to FFXIV, though I've been RPing for most of my life. I was hoping that some of you might be willing to look over my first draft of my character's wiki and give your opinions and critiques. Also, I have a couple of random floating

s showing up in text at one point that I can't seem to hunt down, and would love assistance in fixing it. Thank you.

 

Ochuchu Ochu's Wiki Page

[Tara]

Good evening everyone. Fairly new player to FFXIV, though I've been RPing for most of my life. I was hoping that some of you might be willing to look over my first draft of my character's wiki and give your opinions and critiques. Also, I have a couple of random floating

s showing up in text at one point that I can't seem to hunt down, and would love assistance in fixing it. Thank you.

 

Ochuchu Ochu's Wiki Page

http://http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Ul'dah 

 

This might help a bit. 

 

The Syndicate isn't a criminal organization, it's the ruling body of Ul'dah.  Ul'dah is a sultanate but the Sultana really has no power. The Syndicate does. The Syndicate is made up of the Royalists who support the Sultana and the Monetarists who are like Trade-Princes. Of the two, the Monetarists are the more likely to have their fingers in...shady dealings. Um...if anyone can help better than me feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, in fact Sounsyy will probably post here soon and blow my single link out of the water . I really hoped this helped a bit though.

[Nevermoar]

http://http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Ul'dah 

 

This might help a bit. 

 

The Syndicate isn't a criminal organization, it's the ruling body of Ul'dah.  Ul'dah is a sultanate but the Sultana really has no power. The Syndicate does. The Syndicate is made up of the Royalists who support the Sultana and the Monetarists who are like Trade-Princes. Of the two, the Monetarists are the more likely to have their fingers in...shady dealings. Um...if anyone can help better than me feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, in fact Sounsyy will probably post here soon and blow my single link out of the water . I really hoped this helped a bit though.

Danke for pointing that out. Forgot that despite their sinister name they're not actually a crime ring. Changed it to refer to the shadier side of the Monetarists' dealings.

[Sounsyy]

Good evening everyone. Fairly new player to FFXIV, though I've been RPing for most of my life. I was hoping that some of you might be willing to look over my first draft of my character's wiki and give your opinions and critiques. Also, I have a couple of random floating

s showing up in text at one point that I can't seem to hunt down, and would love assistance in fixing it. Thank you.

 

Ochuchu Ochu's Wiki Page

http://http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Ul'dah 

 

This might help a bit. 

 

The Syndicate isn't a criminal organization, it's the ruling body of Ul'dah.  Ul'dah is a sultanate but the Sultana really has no power. The Syndicate does. The Syndicate is made up of the Royalists who support the Sultana and the Monetarists who are like Trade-Princes. Of the two, the Monetarists are the more likely to have their fingers in...shady dealings. Um...if anyone can help better than me feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, in fact Sounsyy will probably post here soon and blow my single link out of the water . I really hoped this helped a bit though.

 

Seconding what was said here. That was really the only part of the wiki that stood out to me. The Syndicate (the six wealthiest citizens of Ul'dah) would probably not associate, at least directly, with an orphan beggar off the streets. Now there are several gangs and shadier Monetarist dealings that could snatch up your character and provide for her the shadier background experience I think you're looking for, the Alacran for example. But I think it's a bit of a stretch to say you were involved with the Syndicate directly, as it is only six notable npcs who, mostly, aren't into that shady of dealings.

 

Here's a couple more lore links you might find helpful! ^^

-Political Structures of Eorzea (Ul'dah)

-Syndicate Lore

[Nevermoar]

To be fair, "The Syndicate", at least in my mind, does not conjure up images of a legitimate ruling body. Anyway, have swapped them out for the Alacran now that my head has been removed from my ass, and thank you for pointing that out to me. Any other critiques of the character herself?

[Aoi Fukiku]

Fixed your random div tags just by closing them since I couldn't find them either