Struggling to join in RP (Balmung)

[MimettGreens]

Hokies, I find that in game I am really struggling to RP with people, mainly because I;

A: Get worried they will be mad I interrupted them.

B: Find everyone else is way more talented in RP.

C: Am shy as hell, even online. (it's taken me a good half hour to write this and read it over. And over...before getting the nerve to post it)

D: My wiki page is no where near as good/enriched as most on there. D:

 

Essentially, I don't want to rock the boat and have people be angry with me. Perhaps I am being over cautious, but it comes from years on Argent Dawn (WoW), Guild wars, Tera Online and Aion where the RP'ers were well established and disliked the 'newbs'.

 

As such, I figure making a thread on here wouldn't hurt. I hope. D:

 

Basically at the mo on Balmung I have my Arcanist, Delanaux Guillaume and I'm looking for something plot wise I can get him involved in? He's pretty easy going, sweet and a bit naive, so I'd love to get him into something where he's encouraged to shed that kind demeanor or something else where I can try out his characterization.

 

I do have a few RP plans for him myself, as at the moment he is searching for his brothers, who have disappeared so if anyone wouldn't mind me approaching them, asking about his brother's and so on, then drop me a line perhaps? I have other plans in this storyline of his, wherein he finds out what has become of his brothers but I've not progressed to that yet, since I know about one person in game >_< And am a bit too shy to always talk on Europa.

 

Failing that, and people just don't like my guy or suggestions, any tips on how to actually slide into an RP that's already on going?

[Mastersticks11]

I have had problems sliding into RP on all my characters. But the easiest way I found to lessen up the pain is to get to know someone who is really well integrated and hang around with them a lot (But it is a bit difficult to do because most well integrated people are too busy.) or start out in a RP. Like taking the role of someone in a well developed RP with lots of people. Although here it seems like the first option is your only one. I will always RP with you if you need it. My character is Eccai'ra Hlaiwa. Add me. The main thing you need right now is connections. The more connections you have the more potential RPers you can possibly find when they are not busy and RP with. Join a RP LS and add as many RPers as you can find and tell them they are new. Ask around for advice from other people IN the game and you will get more immediate responses and maybe even RP opportunities. Remember if you are ever in doubt about walking up to someone. You can always PM them and ask. They may even help you.

[Flickering Ember]

I am a fellow shy RPer and would love some more friends to RP with. I've been working mostly on my gameplay stuff but I've been dipping into the shallow end of the RP pool and think I need help wading out into the deeper end of it. 

 

I noticed you are in the Europa linkshell? What times do you play?

I'm US -5 utc but I sometimes play during the day. Like tomorrow.

[Faye]

A. Most people won't get mad at you! If you're wary, just ask them OOC in tells before you approach and join in, or write an RP post that lets them choose whether to interact with your character. In the rare chance anyone does get upset, remember that it's on them, not you, and they are no one you need to RP with or befriend.

 

B. Likely all in your own head! Most people don't give themselves enough credit. Either way, practice makes perfect, so get out there and improve! Leave it to others to decide if they want to RP with you; don't make the decision for them

 

C. I understand the feeling. I know it's not any consolation, nor is it any helpful advice that you haven't heard before, but just remember that no bad can come from talking to anyone, especially online.

 

D. Don't worry about it! I know a lot of people--some being exceptional RPers--who don't have a Wiki page at all. And though it's something I need to fix, I tend to forget the Wiki's exist and rarely remember to even check if my RP partner has one.

 

I would recommend joining an active RP FC if you aren't already in one, as well as some RP linkshells. That way, you can be incorporated into a storyline that's already going on and have a comfortable place in it. Also, I'm happy to RP anytime, so feel free to say hello if you see me around! Good luck!

[Ildur]

Hokies, I find that in game I am really struggling to RP with people, mainly because I;

A: Get worried they will be mad I interrupted them.

B: Find everyone else is way more talented in RP.

C: Am shy as hell, even online. (it's taken me a good half hour to write this and read it over. And over...before getting the nerve to post it)

D: My wiki page is no where near as good/enriched as most on there. D:

 

I, Ildur, have solutions for every point!

 

A: Poke them OOCly with brackets if you are worried about that. Most people will be welcoming unless they are huge jerks or if an "intruder" wouldn't make sense. For example, if they are pretending to be inside a non-public building. Though players tend to be sensible and use party char when rolepalying in unreacheable areas. If they are out in the open, you can assume they are willing to be 'interrupted'.

B: Practice makes perfection. There might be some tricks you can pull of to 'be better', but overall you won't get better at it unless you try. If you find someone who you feel is way more talented than you, then go ahead and roleplay with them! That way you can learn from them, or even ask them stuff.

C: I lied. I don't have a solution for this point. There's nothing wrong with being shy, and you might want to fight against it by jumping recklessly into interactions without thinking too much about it. Just the usual "why would my character interrupt?" considerations.

D: I don't think you should give wiki pages much importance. They are nice "I want to know more about this character" pamphlets, but don't immediately correlate with the quality of the character or their player's roleplay skill. While having long detailed backgrounds is very nice, a lot of characters don't need it. You can have the basics down and then have him develop and grow while you roleplay him, instead of having a lot of things set in stone from the beggining.

[MimettGreens]

Thanks Mastersticks11. :3 I'll add you next time I log on after work. I'm not too sure how to get connections at the mo, I am in an OOC/LFRP linkshell called Europa, but at times I'm a bit too shy to say much. >_<

 

@Ember My online times vary with my work since it's shift work. But mostly I play in the evening or through the day if I am off work. I'm in the UK so I got by GMT. If you do want to discuss some potential RP between our charries, feel free to drop me a PM on here

 

@Faye I was looking at an RP FC at one point, but work has side tracked me. I think it was The Travellers Guild and I remember looking at the page and thinking I might not be up to par with the recruitment process. >_<

 

Ildur, if you have solutions, please tell me why, whenever I make a peanut butter sammich, the peanut butter ruins the bread by not spreading. T_T

 

I joke, thank you for your points, i appreciate all the input

[Dyani]

I can understand you very well! I was also shy (still am,  it less so) about joining in RPs or contacting people that I would like to RP with. I just couldn't get to that point where I could just step up and say hey. But then I found some really nice people who helped me kind of come out of my shell. Really, that first step is the hardest and after that it gets easier.

 

The good news is that soooooo many people here are super nice! There are a lot of people who are also shy, and a lot of people who would love some new RP! 

 

I guess what I'm trying to say here is do t be afraid, and even if someone isn't up to RP or busy, don't get discouraged. Keep trying! I am positive you will find some good RP buddies. 

 

Also, don't worry that your RP isn't good enough. From your writing here, I think you'll be just fine, and don't forget that you'll also learn as you go. 

 

Hope this helped!

[C'kayah Polaali]

I can understand your desire to not rock the boat, but at the same time you're setting yourself up to have problems finding RP if you act that way. Here's why.

 

Even on a RP server (and Balmung is not an official RP server, mind you), roleplayers are a minority. I haven't seen any statistics, but I'd guess that I've never seen more than about 10% of a RP server's population be RPers. In the case of Balmung, its probably far less.

 

In other words, less (far less) than 10% of the players you see are RPers. So how do RPers end up RPing with one another? They inspect one another and look for RP tags. They look up people that they know are RPers from other places (i.e.: "I saw you on RPC..."). They look for people who are actively roleplaying. They look for 'tells' that indicate someone is a roleplayer (like, say, walking instead of running). And when they identify someone who may be a roleplayer, they send them a tell.

 

It's hard, I know, if you're shy to just message someone cold, but the alternative is grim. If you don't reach out, then you end up looking just like all the rest of that majority of players who aren't roleplayers, and we know how that turns out.

 

If you're worried about messaging someone from out of the blue, I can assure you that it works. I tend to message people a lot - if I'm standing around and someone walks by, I'll message them. I'll message random people with RP tags. I may not RP with them right away, but at the very least we'll introduce ourselves OOCly. I've made a lot of RP connections that way, and I have literally never had anyone say "Go away, jerk! I don't want you to message me!". The worst - and I mean worst - response I'll get is "Sorry, I'm in the middle of something right now".

 

So give it a shot. Set yourself a goal, say, of cold messaging one potential roleplayer every time you're in game. Pretty soon, you should have a friend list full of people to RP with.

[Siha]

Starting out as a shy Rper I had this very same problem but after posting a thread like this I actually ended up finding out the community is really open to people! Worrying about people being mad that you're walking up to them isn't something you should have to fear, everyone I've walked up to so far has been more than happy to RP with me, though I know hearing that doesn't always ease the fears enough to actually walk up to someone.

 

I'm not running any storylines myself but I've been integrated into a few quite easily, the groups I'm familiar with are more than happy to bring people in to the plots they're doing. I myself am always happy to RP with you of course! Any time you see me around on any of my alts you can of course give me a poke and walk right up to ask about your brothers, your best bet for that info of course would be my character L'Tao Loha, she won't know the answer obviously but she IS an info broker and who knows you might be able to beseech her to do some research for you! I actually adore being a plot device. >.> To that end I also have Siha Xinkei who happens to be bestowed with some odd powers, she can see past and present mostly, with very rare glimpses of the future now and then, of course I never see anything without permission and only what I'm told but it's a good plot device I find. ^^

 

I have plenty of others as well including another Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te from an old family of prestigious CNJ's who isn't doing much plot wise, a Seeker Miqo'te of the A tribe who's a blade for hire and notoriously grumpy and sarcastic. Erm, I also have my Lancer Wildwood who is expected to become a Wailer but wants more than that, his family is just determined to steer him in that direction while he'd much rather become a Dragoon and is mistakenly convinced that he can do that if he so pleases. Etc. If you have needs for plots or certain roles you can always hit me up, it's possible among my alts I'll have ones that I can fit in with you!

 

On a seperate note to everyone else, this also goes or you, keep your chin up! There is RP out there and getting over your shyness is well worth it in the end even if it is an uphill battle!

[MimettGreens]

Thank you for all the responses everyone :3 I admit ,I do tend to over worry, it comes from having social anxiety issues, sadly it tends to follow me over into the internet as well and on MMO's! >_<

 

I shall attempt to message at least one person when I next log in, as you suggested C'kayah and see where it gets me. I admit, I totally did not think about putting an RP tag into my search info for people to see, so I shall also do this.

 

L'Tao Loha would probably be someone Del would talk to, more so if she's an info broker, since he's not really getting any results at the moment.

 

I am also bringing my dragoon over to Balmung at some point as well, once I am paid from work, so I'm also going to see how things go with him too. He's more brash so he'd be more likely to say things to people than Del, who is quiet.

 

But yes, thank you so much guys :3

[Sophia_Grave]

I don't want to be a parrot; there's great advice in this thread already, but I do want to stress the fact that this is something you're going to have to get over if you want to have any fun RP'ing.Sitting around waiting for someone to interact with you is going to get very old very quick, and when it does happen, its likely not to be as fulfilling as you would have hoped. Roleplay is as much about networking as it is actual roleplay. It relies on your interaction with others after all, so make friends! I admit, this is something I too have trouble with personally; social interaction is just plain draining, but I weather through it so I can shop my characters around and create / get into plots.

[John Spiegel]

First and foremost: If people are RPing in public, they don't have the OOC right to be angry (IC is another story!) from interruptions.

 

I'm going to be getting of this rig tonight/tomorrow morning. Meaning I will be in-game for a few days. If you see/search for John Spiegel, Alex Silversheath or Grace Silversheath, they're all my characters. With the exception of Grace, they're all nice to random folk (Grace doesn't take kindly to men talking to her randomly).

 

John in particular has a way of even making a statue smile so he's your best bet to unshyify (that's a word now) you and help kick you in the butt for more RP.

[Crisiet]

Hi there!

 

I've found myself in pretty much the same position. While many people on here seem friendly and accepting I'm still new to the community and honestly getting to know new people scares the heck out of me. I'm awkward, shy and possess very little confidence.

 

I'm in Europa too though! I main an Elezen aswell, so feel free to say hello any time!

[Elisea Renyven]

If you are ever looking for RP, feel free to hit me up. If I'm free, I don't mind jumping into rp or folks getting involved in rp. I only got one character, Elisea Renyven

[Rosekitten]

I think any advise I could say has been well covered. Inspect tags and OOC'ly message people asking them if you are worried ^^

 

But you do have to get out there in most cases and start things. Very rarely have I seen where having a RP tag ends up landing you into a rp or even a message from a fellow rp'er.

 

I do wish you the best though, but don't be shy ^^ from what I've noticed a lot of rp'ers are shy or seem to think others will bite them (I don't bite that hard I promise).

 

Aside from that my other thoughts is if you ever catch me online then feel free to poke me in or ooc :3 always up for a chat or something or even setting up a meet up session (while random is fun a little set up never hurts if you are worried or have a story in mind).

[Hyakki]

Thank you for all the responses everyone :3 I admit ,I do tend to over worry, it comes from having social anxiety issues, sadly it tends to follow me over into the internet as well and on MMO's! >_<

 

I'm in the same boat. I am slowly starting to come around and interact with strangers and chat with my fellow FC members but its still pretty nerve wracking. In RP I worry that others will think I'm intrusive or that my characters are too weird or marysue jerks. I think my main would be a blast to roleplay if I wasn't so shy and self conscious. For now, I'm content to be a background observer.

 

If you would like to RP, Delainaut Merillat is my Elezen (hey, we have similar first names!) I RP him much like myself, kind of shy and awkward. He is an entry level customs officer at Mealvaan's gate in Limsa Lominsa. Paperwork and more paperwork all day every day.

 

Alves (in-game name Tahlsho'a Rheen) is my main, he's a bodyguard/porter/extra hand for hire, laid back friendly guy, a bit impulsive. At least that's how I'd like to RP him once I'm more comfortable.

[111]

As many others have said, it's mostly just putting yourself out there. I started RPing roughly over a month ago, because one day instead of just running past all the people /saying in the Quicksand, I stopped to talk to them instead. I had lots of missteps and bad decisions the first few weeks, and probably alienated some people, but overall I made lots of new friends, and became involved with lot's of stories. So yeah just put yourself out there, it is of course possible that you might screw up at first (like I did) but eventually you'll find you niche and discover how you want to play your character.

[Roen]

There's a lot of great responses already!  So I won't need to repeat them.  I just wanted to add my encouragement to the thread.  Everyone who has posted here will not mind AT ALL of being sent a tell or being approached in game.  Me included!

 

And I highly HIGHLY recommend taking C'kayah's advice about sending a cold /tell at least every time you are in game to a potential RPer! I have exchanged tells plenty of times just to keep in touch without it leading to an RP session with that person right away.  But at least it will help break the ice.

[Nykkus Trachspyr]

There is a lot of encouragement in this thread already, so I'll simply toss my name into the hat.

 

Look up Nykkus Trachspyr on Balmung anytime. I'm always happy for walk up RP. The character is rough around the edges, but would easily act as a gateway to some RP circles that wouldn't be hard to integrate your character into.

 

That goes for everyone.

[MimettGreens]

@Apl_J Oh god, don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to walk up to me and start RP'ing at all! D: I'm sorry if it came across as that. I do want to approach people but I just sort of stop and think 'well would they want me to bug them?' or 'I'm not as good as them' and so on. I kind of scare myself off a bit. Partly anxiety, partly because I'm so used to people in other MMO's telling me to bugger off. I'm sorry if it came across as me being contrary or anything! D:

 

Thanks all, I probably come across as the worst person ever As I say, I am so so used to being told to get lost or to go away when trying to join in on other games, that I've kind of schooled myself into thinking it'll happen here and so I might hang around RP areas and instead people watch rather than join in >_<

 

@Xieveral I worry about that as well, that people might just be like 'Your character sucks, gtfo' or something, so I tend to sort of back off and watch others RP.

Delainaut reminds me of my guy Del, he's quiet and shy, bit socially awkward. Kind of like me. Where as my Dragoon who I plan on transferring is really calm, cool, collected and bad ass.

 

Thank you so much for all the replies everyone, it's all really encouraging to hear that people honestly don't mind. I will definitely try the cold /tell thing at some point and see if I can't network a bit with people. I do need to get WoW out of my head a lot, as it's one of the main reasons I'm so cautious about other players.

[Arkghyom]

@Apl_J  Oh god, don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to walk up to me and start RP'ing at all! D: I'm sorry if it came across as that.  I do want to approach people but  I just sort of stop and think 'well would they want me to bug them?' or 'I'm not as good as them' and so on. I kind of scare myself off a bit. Partly anxiety, partly because I'm so used to people in other MMO's telling me to bugger off. I'm sorry if it came across as me being contrary or anything! D:

 

Thanks all, I probably come across as the worst person ever As I say, I am so so used to being told to get lost or to go away when trying to join in on other games, that I've kind of schooled myself into thinking it'll happen here and so I might hang around RP areas and instead people watch rather than join in >_<

 

@Xieveral I worry about that as well, that people might just be like 'Your character sucks, gtfo' or something, so I tend to sort of back off and watch others RP.

Delainaut reminds me of my guy Del, he's quiet and shy, bit socially awkward. Kind of like me. Where as my Dragoon who I plan on transferring is really calm, cool, collected and bad ass.

 

Thank you so much for all the replies everyone, it's all really encouraging to hear that people honestly don't mind. I will definitely try the cold /tell thing at some point and see if I can't network a bit with people. I do need to get WoW out of my head a lot, as it's one of the main reasons I'm so cautious about other players.

 

Oh hey! I just noticed you said Europa and I realized I'm there too. Hit me up whenever if you wanna hang or establish some sort of RP practice session. I'd be glad to help!

[Arkghyom]

And don't forget to have fun and enjoy the wonders of role-playing!

[Tiergan]

Advice Piece 1) If you try to randomly RP with a flock of people, they don't respond, and there are more than 5 of them RPing all at once.  They might not be ignoring you.

 

Advice Piece 2) Join a giant mess of linkshells.  Not only can you hunt down an RP FC, but you can join up to 8 linkshells for RP purposes!  I have almost maxed out the number I have - you can use them to hunt down other RPers with similar tastes and it's way easier to break into RP when you're already part of a group than being a total stranger.

[C'kayah Polaali]

Advice Piece 2) Join a giant mess of linkshells.  Not only can you hunt down an RP FC, but you can join up to 8 linkshells for RP purposes!  I have almost maxed out the number I have - you can use them to hunt down other RPers with similar tastes and it's way easier to break into RP when you're already part of a group than being a total stranger.

This. So much this!

[MimettGreens]

@Tiergan I never claimed anyone was ignoring me,(being ignored is the norm when RP'ing on wow unless you're popular on my server ) what I was saying is that I lack the nerve to even begin an RP(I've tried in other games and had people tell me that they are RP'ing in that area or that I'm wrong, etc) and just am unsure how to join in without pissing people off. I know some people wont respond to OOC /tells since they only respond IC, and I know a lot of people in one place means a chat log spam wherein speech can be lost in someones log. My problem is more...I just don't know how to network with other RP'ers and sort of, join in. I don't want to just leap into someone's RP just for reasons like it perhaps being a plot they don't want/need others in and so on. I hope I'm not coming off as arrogant or something, implying people are being 'means' and such on FF. I don't think that at all, I just worry I'll annoy the crap out of fellow RP'ers since they all seem so good at it!

 

A lot of folk who RP I often find already know each other and I worry I intrude on them is all? Which is why I need to try my hand at cold /tell

 

I mean I do definitely need to get used to it compared to WoW, but most of my main MMO rp'ing experience comes from WoW where a lot of the time, elitists in the RP 'hang outs' told you to sod off. It's kind of what I'm expecting when I talk to most people on MMO's now and its a hard habit to break. >_< Part and partial of it is it's just me being a bit of a loser and letting my worries stop me.