Chatting up the ladies.

[Ignacius]

Yes, thank you. I'm getting really tired of hearing "lulz no women on the internet". >.>

 

It's funny, my wife maintains a fandom webpage and forum for the Xeno series. Y'know, Xenogears, Xenosaga, Xenoblade. The fandom, at least as represented by the users on that forum, appears to be predominantly female. They have a running joke that there are no boys on the internet. Many of them have talked about how other spaces they inhabit on the internet women out number men by a decent ratio, and these are forums and boards based around things like gaming, anime, and comics. I've noticed that the specific fandoms and subjects of the boards they use have very strong lead females (The Xeno series in particular has a ton of them, Elly, Miang, Kos-Mos, Shion, MOMO, etc.). Even when this isn't the case, they still make spaces that cater to their particular wants and amusements as it relates to their fandom. Also, when guys on forums say "lelnogrrlzondaintarbutt" it's usually in a space that's pretty abrasive toward women in the first place. So what would any self-respecting nerd do in that situation? Make their own damn sandbox that's much less hostile.

 

This is why I married a woman that plays with me.  She runs a healer on FFXIV, has run pretty much every healing and damage class in WoW, but she REALLY loves Diablo.  Seriously, she's in love with her witch doctor.  So when I get home, and I say I just want to put on some pajamas and play some D3, she's already ahead of me.

 

I have a great life!  

[TheLastCandle]

Yes, thank you. I'm getting really tired of hearing "lulz no women on the internet". >.>

 

It's funny, my wife maintains a fandom webpage and forum for the Xeno series. Y'know, Xenogears, Xenosaga, Xenoblade. The fandom, at least as represented by the users on that forum, appears to be predominantly female. They have a running joke that there are no boys on the internet. Many of them have talked about how other spaces they inhabit on the internet women out number men by a decent ratio, and these are forums and boards based around things like gaming, anime, and comics. I've noticed that the specific fandoms and subjects of the boards they use have very strong lead females (The Xeno series in particular has a ton of them, Elly, Miang, Kos-Mos, Shion, MOMO, etc.). Even when this isn't the case, they still make spaces that cater to their particular wants and amusements as it relates to their fandom. Also, when guys on forums say "lelnogrrlzondaintarbutt" it's usually in a space that's pretty abrasive toward women in the first place. So what would any self-respecting nerd do in that situation? Make their own damn sandbox that's much less hostile.

 

This is why I married a woman that plays with me.  She runs a healer on FFXIV, has run pretty much every healing and damage class in WoW, but she REALLY loves Diablo.  Seriously, she's in love with her witch doctor.  So when I get home, and I say I just want to put on some pajamas and play some D3, she's already ahead of me.

 

I have a great life!  

 

Heck, I wish I could get anyone I know to play D3 with me!

[Kimikimi]

I see my topics are still popular as ever. All this discussion does make it a lot easier on players however since I am still very new to the RP game this is like a gold mine of useful info.

[Ciel]

RP is about playing a role, regardless of what the player's gender is.  As others have said, it doesn't matter, but some people still get their knickers in a bind because they think it's important.  People like that simply don't get what RP is about, and likely never will.  Ignore them and move on.

[Ignacius]

Yes, thank you. I'm getting really tired of hearing "lulz no women on the internet". >.>

 

It's funny, my wife maintains a fandom webpage and forum for the Xeno series. Y'know, Xenogears, Xenosaga, Xenoblade. The fandom, at least as represented by the users on that forum, appears to be predominantly female. They have a running joke that there are no boys on the internet. Many of them have talked about how other spaces they inhabit on the internet women out number men by a decent ratio, and these are forums and boards based around things like gaming, anime, and comics. I've noticed that the specific fandoms and subjects of the boards they use have very strong lead females (The Xeno series in particular has a ton of them, Elly, Miang, Kos-Mos, Shion, MOMO, etc.). Even when this isn't the case, they still make spaces that cater to their particular wants and amusements as it relates to their fandom. Also, when guys on forums say "lelnogrrlzondaintarbutt" it's usually in a space that's pretty abrasive toward women in the first place. So what would any self-respecting nerd do in that situation? Make their own damn sandbox that's much less hostile.

 

This is why I married a woman that plays with me.  She runs a healer on FFXIV, has run pretty much every healing and damage class in WoW, but she REALLY loves Diablo.  Seriously, she's in love with her witch doctor.  So when I get home, and I say I just want to put on some pajamas and play some D3, she's already ahead of me.

 

I have a great life!  

 

Heck, I wish I could get anyone I know to play D3 with me!

Hey, if you ever see me on (which would assume I'm actually home from work and not on FFXIV or WoW), I'm always happy to include anyone who likes to full clear.

 

And I mean full-clear.  When the wife and I (and usually a brother or two) play, we sweep every single inch of the level we're on.  We annoy people that want to skip straight to the boss, but when those elite mobs start stacking multiple spells and buffs, they're usually harder than the actual game bosses.

 

That's something I want in an MMO, random-generated elite mobs where you don't know what you're going to get.

[Rinh Hallani]

Also, when guys on forums say "lelnogrrlzondaintarbutt" it's usually in a space that's pretty abrasive toward women in the first place. So what would any self-respecting nerd do in that situation? Make their own damn sandbox that's much less hostile.

 

If I had more time, I might've done the same myself, but well done to your wife for making a safe space! I'm incredibly relieved I haven't encountered that attitude in FFXIV, so far. That kind of nastiness is one of the main reasons I was able to walk away from WoW.

[Zhavi]

 

If I had more time, I might've done the same myself, but well done to your wife for making a safe space! I'm incredibly relieved I haven't encountered that attitude in FFXIV, so far. That kind of nastiness is one of the main reasons I was able to walk away from WoW.

 

Seeeeriously, WoW is the reason why I let people assume I'm male in online video games (not that I didn't eventually find a great guild, but jiminy crickets was there a lot of girls-can't-raid-at-high-levels mentality, even despite there being plenty of women in the world top 50 ).

 

It is strange though, in most of the rp communities I've been in when shit gets screwy it's usually the girls who are being weird/harassing the guys.

[Faye]

Real life gender isn't important in role-play, really. Most of the time, the people who say things like the fellow who sent you a tell don't RP and/or have a poor understanding of RP. To them, all RP is nothing more than a nerdy ruse very desperate people use to try to hook up with people or get off OOC, so they think saying things like, "It's probably a dude," will make your world come crashing down around you.

[Ilwe'ran]

Someone happen to message me, they said "dude, you are proberly talking to a dude." And he thought I seemed a little desperate however that wasn't the case at all I truely was having a good time and my new friend did too.

 

You shouldn't even care about what a random guy think. If you and your RP partner have fun, it's fine this way. Who care about that dude that came by to comment what you were doing after seeing 3 sentences ? And who gives him the right to say anything about your RP in the first place ?

[allgivenover]

It's easy to say that gender doesn't matter and to openly state that you are not thinking about it when you roleplay, but in my experience across /many/ roleplay scenes the harsh truth is that what gender you are OOC carries a great deal of weight when it comes to how interested others are in roleplaying with you, even when they explicitly state otherwise.

 

Thankfully it's easy to identify who these people are, given enough time. Words about openness and neutrality towards gender are cheap when those same folk only roleplay with people that are well known to be the gender they are actively interested in OOC.

[Nebbs]

Gender does not matter... stereotypes and generalisations of genders probably does.

 

So enjoy the RP, accept the disbelief. If it does go further than chatter an OOC conversation is useful to establish boundaries. If it goes even further or gets weird .. you should have some concerns (irrespective of their gender).

 

And remember misunderstanding could also be due to other things like culture and language.

 

[edit: You might ask where the head of the person who tipped you off was.. it seems they were assuming something about your intent... maybe?]

[synaesthetic]

My Free Company is almost entirely filled with people who defy the gender binary in one way or another.

 

When it comes to RP, the sex and gender of the person behind the character doesn't matter for shit. What matters, obviously, is the character before you. What is their gender? What is their sex? Does their gender and sex "match up" or are they dysphoric? Does the character have gender fluid tendencies? How does that character prefer to be addressed as?

 

If you decide to go with a romance plot, the character's sex and gender in relation to their sexuality and sexual orientation or preferences becomes important. Consider these things in your roleplay because they are important parts of what makes a person.

[TheLastCandle]

This is a touchy subject among most communities I've roleplayed in. There are cases to be made on both sides: I have had strictly IC interactions with female players who have stated in similar threads on other games' forums that they simply wouldn't be comfortable RPing a relationship with a character played by another woman. Some were single, some were happily married. The vast majority of those interactions never bled into real life and were relatively drama free, so I feel it's unfair to generalize and say that these players simply don't know the difference between IC and OOC.

 

With that being said, if an opportunity presents itself to go into a romantic subplot in my RP, what matters to me is the way the character is played. If someone I know for a fact is male (through OOC threads here on the RPC, or via VOIP during raids and such) can still play a female character in a believable way, with a personality that my character would be attracted to - then sure, why not?

 

More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part. I have been pleasantly surprised in the past, though, and one of my oldest characters (a dark elf sorcerer in a text-based game called GemStone IV) remains dysfunctionally but happily married to a wonderful half-elf wizardess who is played by a RL male.

[Zhavi]

This is a touchy subject among most communities I've roleplayed in. There are cases to be made on both sides: I have had strictly IC interactions with female players who have stated in similar threads on other games' forums that they simply wouldn't be comfortable RPing a relationship with a character played by another woman. Some were single, some were happily married. The vast majority of those interactions never bled into real life and were relatively drama free, so I feel it's unfair to generalize and say that these players simply don't know the difference between IC and OOC.

 

With that being said, if an opportunity presents itself to go into a romantic subplot in my RP, what matters to me is the way the character is played. If someone I know for a fact is male (through OOC threads here on the RPC, or via VOIP during raids and such) can still play a female character in a believable way, with a personality that my character would be attracted to - then sure, why not?

 

More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part. I have been pleasantly surprised in the past, though, and one of my oldest characters (a dark elf sorcerer in a text-based game called GemStone IV) remains dysfunctionally but happily married to a wonderful half-elf wizardess who is played by a RL male.

 

You know, I have honestly never run into a player like the ones you specified in your first paragraph. So, fair enough! That'll teach me for making blanket assumptions about people based on my own limited experience, eh?

 

Hee, as for your last paragraph I think an argument can be made that both men and women sometimes don't play opposite gender very well (hell, sometimes I cringe and wonder if I'm doing an okay job). Though, there was once a guy the whole (small-ish) community I was on thought was a woman for a whole year and a half because he played his female character just so freakin' well. When he finally corrected someone in a plot post for calling him 'she', there was an explosion of disbelief. We look back at it and laugh now, but man, he got so much respect from all of us after that! And apologies. Lots of apologies.

 

Like you said, it really just boils down to the way the character is played/portrayed, eh?

[Ilwe'ran]

More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part.

 

What is hard isn't the cross gender.. It's to NOT play a stereotype. No matter if you're a female playing a female char, a male playing a male char or if you are changing your gender IC.

What you said, somehow remind me how many time people told me that girls were only good at playing healer (more than 8 years playing MMO and hearing that x_x).

[Rinh Hallani]

You know, I have honestly never run into a player like the ones you specified in your first paragraph.  So, fair enough!  That'll teach me for making blanket assumptions about people based on my own limited experience, eh?

 

Hee, as for your last paragraph I think an argument can be made that both men and women sometimes don't play opposite gender very well (hell, sometimes I cringe and wonder if I'm doing an okay job). Though, there was once a guy the whole (small-ish) community I was on thought was a woman for a whole year and a half because he played his female character just so freakin' well.

 

I was surprised by that too. If anything, I'm relieved if the player is female as well as there's less chance of OOC drama, based on my experience. I have had some great RP, even romantic RP, with characters played by the same gender as my own. To each their own, however.

 

I've also met some people who can RP the opposite gender astonishingly well. A couple of them, it wasn't until we were on skype together doing a dungeon that the male or female voice gave away the game. That's one of the reasons I place no importance on whether the player is the same gender as the character.

[ArmachiA]

I had Armi in a semi-relationship with a guy who was played by a girl. Gender don't matter. It's RP.It would be fnatasticly weird and counterproductive to only be able to play your age, sex, relative personality or anything like that.

[LandStander]

My character has been in a number of relationships (which I am still surprised that people actually like her) with people who I know are the same gender as I am. Lots of dolphins out there :3.

 

Also Armi, one day X will have his day lol

[Ignacius]

I should, at this point, bring up that I have known people (including one of my brothers) that have played female characters and just never told the people they play with that they're men IRL.  The reason?  Men playing the game will, if they come to the assumption that they're actually women IRL, apparently give them free stuff.

 

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions.  Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

 

And stop trying to by romance with epics!  I can't describe the weird feeling of disgust not because they didn't tell these other people they were really heterosexual men IRL, but because they were being showered with gear and money just because lonely people on an MMO thought they were girls.

 

Eesh.

[TheLastCandle]

I should, at this point, bring up that I have known people (including one of my brothers) that have played female characters and just never told the people they play with that they're men IRL.  The reason?  Men playing the game will, if they come to the assumption that they're actually women IRL, apparently give them free stuff.

 

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions.  Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

 

And stop trying to by romance with epics!  I can't describe the weird feeling of disgust not because they didn't tell these other people they were really heterosexual men IRL, but because they were being showered with gear and money just because lonely people on an MMO thought they were girls.

 

Eesh.

 

I've heard this as well, and wish I could say I was surprised.

[Crisiet]

RL Gender doesn't matter. I don't know the gender of half the people I game and roleplay with and I'm pretty sure they don't know mine. Unless they've been in voice chat with me, of course. My voice tends to give it away quickly.

 

Romantic RP with someone who is of the same physical gender as myself IRL would not and does not bother me either. As others have stated it's the character that matters. The IC/OOC boundary isn't something that should be crossed IMO. That said, I'm still good friends with the guys I've roleplayed relationships with in the past and have never allowed RP to cause drama and conflict OOC.

[Nebbs]

...

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions.  Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

..

Eesh.

 

Here is what everyone looks like until proven otherwise

 

 

 

[Antain]

...

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions.  Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

..

Eesh.

 

Here is what everyone looks like until proven otherwise

 

 

 

 

 

Yup. That's me. Aren't I a sexy bastard?!

 

On a more serious, on topic note, I personally enjoy playing somewhat effeminate men. It is something that is comfortable and (to me, at least) interesting. I have found others who find them to be interesting as well, and those that don't...well, they don't RP with me. It's a choice to RP what you want and you just need to find others who enjoy your decisions.

 

Just like real life!

[K'nahli]

...

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions.  Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

..

Eesh.

 

Here is what everyone looks like until proven otherwise

 

 

 

 

 

I've met my own share of surprises like this, hahaha. It's funny how your mind draws a mental image of people based on their personality alone. Though its really nice when the odd time they meet your (visual) expectations! Ironically, sometimes I feel a little sad when I find out someone I have been talking to for a while is actually a different gender. It's just like... "No... you were supposed to be a he/she  ;w;"

 

 

In any case, I don't understand the concern really. I think, as someone may have mentioned, that the person who whispered you was in fact reading your comments as genuine flirting. Your character is just that... a character. They are not you. They may embody you in some form or perhaps emulate similar traits/world views, but they are not you. I main a female character personally; am I to treat her as though she only likes girls just because I do? Are my male characters the only time I can express a heterosexual character? @@  And what if I wanted to do just the opposite with them?  *mind is boggled*

 

RP as you please, I don't see why you would worry over such things.

[Zhavi]

So, kind of a parallel -- I was doing research for an English paper on Ursula K. Le Guin, and I stumbled across letters that had been published between Le Guin and Allison Sheldon. Sheldon posed as a man named James Tiptree Jr. for the majority of their correspondence. A fan figured out who Sheldon was, which prompted her confession to Le Guin at the end of the published correspondence. Some of what Le Guin said in her followup letter to the confession was, I thought, much apropos to this discussion:

 

I don’t know about people’s reactions, I suppose there are some who resent being put on, but it would take an extraordinarily small soul to resent so immense, so funny, so effective & fantastic & ETHICAL a put-on. Why should anybody mind? Why shouldn’t they be delighted? I can’t imagine, honestly. […] Again I think all your friends will be as childishly pleased with you as I am — and as for what the Sf world says, my God, Allitree, who cares? what does it matter? I hope their little eyes widen & their little mouths fall open.

 

Which mirrors much how I feel about rp, myself, and the gender of the players -- so long as it is played well, screw the haters, yo.

 

 

(The correspondence itself is a hoot to read, if anyone is interested it was published under the title "Dear Starbear: Letters between Ursula K. Le Guin and James Tiptree Jr." and edited by Julie Phillips)