How do you handle RP when it takes a bad direction?

[Renata Turner]

Please feel free to delete if this has already been asked, I searched and could not find it...

 

How do you handle an RP when it takes a direction that might be bad or is a going in a direction you might not want for your character?

 

For example.

 

Eorla was sitting against the wall at The Quicksand, when she was approached by someone who seemed nice enough, but then I (OOCly) was reading all the other person's repeated: "can't help but stare at the beautiful girl", "pretty this, enchanting that, wondered how blah blah would feel if he touched her". Now, of course, Eorla is not a mind reader. She's actually somewhat oblivious and maybe almost naive. So when the guy says "Let's go take a ride on my chocobo, I know a private place we could go...I'd love to help you assess your magic skills", OOC I'm like "No. No no no." Eorla does not see the hidden meaning behind the words, because that's not her character. And of course she doesn't know the guy's got ulterior motives, because she can't read minds.

 

And she's also unfailingly kind (unless she's sticking up for someone), hates offending, and despite her bashfulness, genuinely wants to make friends. So if I stay true to her character, she's going to have a hard time saying no. But OOC, I was flipping out to a fellow player. Eorla also doesn't fall quickly into bed...she's actually never even had a boyfriend. Luckily, the player I was speaking OOCly with (through tells), pointed out that Eorla had a hard day of training that left her exhausted, she could always refuse on those grounds...so Eorla did just that, and characteristically still felt bad about it.

 

How do you handle those kinds of situations? Do you go with the flow or step in and break character (even if the other RPer doesn't know you're breaking character)?

[Ilwe'ran]

I handle this OOC. If the people makes me uncomfortable OOCly, I don't RP with them and I tell them that I can't RP with them right now. I don't go further in my explanation to them, even if they ask.

RP should be enjoyable and fun, if it's not the case, walk away IC and OOC : There are as many different RPer as there are people, you're not forced to like everyone of them.

[SessionZero]

Roleplay is meant to be fun. It's a hobby. It's something we take time out of our busy schedules to do because we enjoy immersing ourselves in a fantasy world where we can be a seven foot tall elf that wears plate and smacks things around with an axe. 

 

So, when your RP ceases to be fun? That is, in my opinion, where things like "breaking character" and "legitimate excuses" cease to be relevant. If you can find an in-character, legitimate reason to get the hell out of a bad roleplay, then more power to you, but, using your tale as an example, I feel you would have been completely justified in having Eorla make an out-of-character statement of, "No. And you're a creep." 

 

Because like I said, at the end of the day, we're all here to have fun, and you shouldn't sacrifice fun for the sake of staying in-character.

[Aaron]

I actually prepared for something like that when I initially made Aaron. 

 

He habitually walks out of conversations and forgets things out of lazy or un interest. Now, I don't abuse this to get out of everything but if I get into something I don't want to do. I just have Aaron say "Im leaving" and walk out.

 

Works pretty good.

[Iex]

Separation between IC and OOC only goes as far as you are OOCly comfortable. In the situation you stated, if I was uncomfortable with the apparent motives of the individual wanting to take me to a private place 'to assess' I would have two options.

 

OOCly contact and ask: What are you planning to do? There is no harm in asking. If they want to do something you don't care to do such let them know. Hopefully they are understanding.

 

Or, if it is quite obvious he wants to put your character in a situation you are not OOCly comfortable with(for that day or just in general), bend your character some so that the RP does not continue in that direction.

 

IC never should override OOC sensibilities. It is far easier to soothe a bit of character bending than to be dragged into RP you are not OOCly comfortable with at that level. Your character's personality is meaningless, in the end the player behind the character is the one calling the shots... all of them.

[Arelian Solin]

I try to stay in character as much as possible up until I start feeling uncomfortable. I've had myself pleasantly surprised by some people that have turned a potentially skeevy situation into something fairly entertaining! Or I get to learn something about my character.

 

However. The moment that I begin to feel uncomfortable with the situation, I'll break character in such a way that allows my character to refuse a situation they might not otherwise. After all, I'm the one controlling them and I ultimately get to dictate what is and is not allowed to happen to them.

 

It's a tricky thing to communicate on an OOC level with someone you've just met despite what people always say about communication being key. Hell, 9 times outta 10, if my character storms off or leaves a situation I end up getting a whisper from the person asking if everything is alright. At that point I'll politely tell them that I wasn't comfortable with the situation.

 

In extreme scenarios I'll put a full stop to the IC interaction and pull the person aside OOC to immediately let them know that I'm not comfortable with this happening. If they can't deal with my boundaries, they aren't going to be worth my time in the long run to begin with.

[Nebbs]

Hmm.. well ICley

 

If someone put emotions or thoughts out there even though you can't read their mind I think it is perfectly acceptable to translate some of it into. For this I would say she noticed his shifty look and the way he made her skin crawl when he looked at her. They put that emote out there feel free to use it. Also notice how I kept this to how you feel, not how they act. Why else would the other play do that other than to creep you out ooc?

 

OOC you get to choose what your character does, and there are many ways to do that without compromising them. Have a headache, get a call on you pearl, spot someone, take a rain check. Or if they don't get the message them OOC you are not interested because you don't want to get into being attacked by a creep.

 

Lets say they never revealed anything, you go for what you hope is a nice RP and they start the molesting. Stop and OOC get out of there, TP if you want to do it IC. However, they have led you to understand it is one kind of RP and not told you OOC that they will act in a different, possibly upsetting way. Honestly you don't want that kind of RPer. For such surprise RP you need a lot of trust and even then it is a shock and can be upsetting. I have been there and I would not recommend it.

[Ette]

AH. HERE WE ARE. MY LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT BAR RP.

 

It sucks when you have a character who’s too naïve to realize people proooooobably just want to do the do with them. While I made J’nali to be pretty timid I also gave her a multitude of reasons for why she wouldn’t like or go along with this kind of behavior. It’s a dangerous world out there, after all, and so generally she seeks to avoid situations that could get her in trouble.

 

BUT if you don’t have that, well, why would your character bother going over to someone’s house anyway? I mean, maybe I’m just asocial but generally I don’t go to someone’s house if I don’t know them well. Especially if said house is SUPER FAR from where we are or in another goddamn city state. Don’t get me wrong, some people just want to get away from bar chatter! A good solution to this is just to have your character suggest they go somewhere else in the city that’s a little more quiet. That way should anything get weird you can just dart.

 

 

And, really, don’t be afraid to just duck away from situations that make you uncomfortable. It’s a game. You’re playing dollies in the pretendy fun time doll house. If someone else is making you OOCly uncomfortable you do not owe them any courtesy. Especially if you say to them “hey I’m not super comfortable with this” and they continue to press matters. Granted, a lot of people are generally understanding if you send them a tell about being uncomfortable with whatever situation you’re in.

[Sophia_Grave]

Fortunately, I'm blessed in that I've never felt the need to run from Rp. If I don't mesh well with someone, I'll have usually found out beforehand, and the creepy/strange rp seems to keep itself to random /tells, which I can just shoo away.

[Chris Ganale]

I kind of rely on the fact that a lot of the time Chao sits around on her level 13 ACN to have the book, so people have a natural tendency to assume that's the extent of her power, so I always have the trump card of punching their face in or exploding them with a fireball that they don't expect if things go sideways.

[Aya]

Pull the ejection handle!

[Taedrinnar]

I'm a firm believer in three rules when it comes to everything.

 

Safe, sane, consensual. Along those lines, any sort of situation in which someone invites or asks my character to do something that might get uncomfortable, we will stop right there and have a short ooc chat, no matter how long we've been rping or how long I've known you. Some people don't like that, well, oh well.

 

Yes, its not part of the 'flow' of RP, but consent and safety are paramount. We'll talk about expectations, limits, and trust. You have the right to stop anything at any time if you feel uncomfortable without any judgment or anger from me, and I expect the same thing from you.

 

In the end, if your feeling uncomfortable, and the other person ISNT offering you a way out, all they did was prove they are not the type of person you should want to RP with.

 

This isn't just for ERP situations, its for all major roleplay. I expect you'll get my consent before you cut off my arm. I'll expect to get your consent before I decide your pregnant. I'd expect you'd ask my consent before you decide something for my character.

 

In asking for my consent, or willingly having that discussion with me, you show me that your someone I can trust, and maybe if I was feeling uncomfortable before, that will reassure me. On the other hand, if you don't even want to talk about major things that effect my roleplay and how much fun I get out of my character, well, i'll find friends that do.

[Khadan]

How I handle RP that takes a turn for the worst?

 

[Edda]

I usually just nope the fuck out of it any way I can IC, and then whisper the person and tell them to eat a dick.

 

Bad example probably, but hey. Balmung's a big server, and chances are if they've been a creep to you, other people have had a similar experience. People like that will eventually run out of people to creep on, or get bored at some point. You've got nothing to lose.

[Tiergan]

I tell the person OOC in a polite way that I'm not comfortable with where the RP is going and abort mission.

 

Like others have said, your OOC comfort is more important than staying true to your character. No one has any right to keep you in an uncomfortable RP position just to live out their skeevy fantasies.

[Verad]

I break character. I shatter the character into a thousand pieces. All the king's horses and all the king's men will never put that character together again.

 

Immersion is easy to regain. The bad taste in my mouth from doing something that I, the player, am uncomfortable doing because it would be "out-of-character" not to do it is far harder to avoid.

 

Of course, making a character with a personality flexible enough that quite a bit is in-character for him helps a lot.

[Boo the Hamster]

If RP gets to a point where I'm uncomfortable, I try and send them off or myself off IC or just step away from my desk.  I don't stick around for RP I'm not comfortable with, and I make that rather apparent both IC and OOC.

 

If they continue to pursue, that is where OOC, blacklisting, or a report comes into play depending on how stubborn they are.  It's not worth anyone's time dealing with someone who desires to be a headache.

[Ilwe'ran]

Of course' date=' making a character with a personality flexible enough that quite a bit is in-character for him helps a lot.[/quote']

 

Or have some friend to help you to get out of this. It can work too (but friends aren't always available so flexibility is a must ^^ .

[Tiergan]

On Leilani, I have her carry a linkpearl that's her family's linkshell. Whenever I need to step away from RP to run some RL errands or escape from bad RP, I just have her SUDDENLY get contacted by her family in an urgent manner.

 

All my characters have something similar only with a different group tied to the linkshell.

[Magellan]

On Leilani, I have her carry a linkpearl that's her family's linkshell. Whenever I need to step away from RP to run some RL errands or escape from bad RP, I just have her SUDDENLY get contacted by her family in an urgent manner.  

 

All my characters have something similar only with a different group tied to the linkshell.

Yea I do a similar thing, and have learned to 'nope' the seven hells out, even if it doesn't technically make sense for my character. I've had a very beloved character get broken by 'going along for the ride' so now I play it a lot more safe.

 

I also had someone try to eat one of my characters before. Had to put the kabosh on that real quick ._.

[Kyrio Lamansque]

I pretty much agree with the sum of what's been said above. Keeping IC and OOC separate is of course 'rule one' of roleplaying. 

 

BUT.. when a RP makes you uncomfortable and you're not OK with where it's going, it's time to handle it OOC. Let them know it's not happening. And unless they tone it the F down, the character is going to be finding the nearest exit asap and will be lining one's no-no parts with razor blades should the offender decide to follow. 

 

And that is why I approach people OOC when my character takes a shine to someone. Because boundaries are crucial in successful RP that may or may not include relationships.

[Tiergan]

I also had someone try to eat one of my characters before. Had to put the kabosh on that real quick ._.

 

Wat.

 

Okay yes, see that up there is an excellent example of "you don't have to go along with everything just to stay IC."

[Renata Turner]

Wow! Thanks for all the amazing feedback. 

 

OOC, the other player had sent me a tell when Eorla responded hesitantly at being asked if he could join her. He sent a tell asking if Eorla wanted to be left alone (this was before the "ZOMG EORLA is SO PURDY I'm gonna make her ride my chocobo!" happened), and I responded honestly that she is rather timid. Had I known the turn it was going to take, I would have said "Well, Eorla might not mind, but I know what you're up to, buddy. Scram."

 

But when he sent that tell, there was nothing to indicate the direction the conversation would take. I should have asked. 

 

Eorla wants to be in love someday, but she's certainly not the type of girl to ride a stranger's "chocobo", lol.

 

ETA: I didn't even think of the linkpearl factor, lol.

[Nebbs]

I'm quite open to many things but there are some people out there with intentions that are not respectful, some even malicious.

 

I am sure some see other players as toons not real people. Just always put yourself first use the Blacklist and report harassment. Don't get dragged into debates with these people.

 

I don't mean to paint it black as mostly it is a wonderful place. Just watch out and if in doubt back off.

[Kellach Woods]

I handle it extremely poorly because at least these fucks actually want to RP with me.