Your Character's Address to the People of the United States of America

[Dat Oni]

I am not joking.

 

This is a writing prompt, albeit a bit absurd one.There is no minimum or maximum character limit. 

 

 

Picture a fictional setting in which your character is now President of the United States, and a tremendous catastrophe, one of your choosing that may or may not mirror or allude to events in your character's RPs, has just struck the nation. Your character is now tasked with relieving the collective tension of a nation of the gun-happy, drunk, burger-eating, FUCK YEAH FREEDOM variety in one eloquent (or not so) speech, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you'll be re-elected.

 

 

The fate of the freedom-loving world (and your candidacy) rests in your hands.

 

 

Don't fuck it up

 

[GloryRhodes]

"What's going on?  Why am I here?  Your horsebirds are just horses!  What is a necktie?  Who is congress?  Why is America?  Can I go home, please?"

[ZoktaiKhor]

*Is in America.*" Why is the econmoic state her so bad? You trick the masses with THESE prices? Jeez...I guess i could make a fortune here..."

[Flashhelix]

"what the fuck is an america"

[Dat Oni]

I was not disappointed.

[Leanne]

".............."

 

*Leanne passes out*

[Nataru]

"Where are all the keeper women at? "

[Hammersmith]

"You've given me your red button. I will give you all that you deserve."

[Knight Kat]

"Greetings...... All you swiving people need Menphina."

[Michikyou]

"....I don't know if I like it here, but these heeze-hurgers are great!"

[WhiteLycanXII]

"Ahem... attention one and all! Do... any of you know of the multi-lateral transdimensionary particle phase theory?"

[Nimba]

"Why do you have powder weapons? There be lots of 'em! Wha- Why you pointin' them at me? What the hells are Mexicans?"

[Manari]

*blinks*

 

*Looks around at everyone in the Oval Office.*

 

*Vanishes the moment they all look away and sneaks out of the White House never to be seen again.*

 

*Moves to Japan to become a J-pop superstar kawaii neko neko desu idol and makes billions*

 

*Does not actually do that.*

 

*Probably finds a forest preserve and lives the rest of her days as a myth along the lines of Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster.*

[shotgunbadger]

"People of America, I have stolen the recipes and business models of all your fast food chains, see ya later nerds I'mma be a millionaire back home."

[Grott]

"I'm leaving. Good luck, guys."

[ProvaDiServo]

"Ahem, people of america, if you thought I was gonna run this nation without any form of integrity....

 

Bitch. You. Guessed it. "

[Desu Nee]

" You're all awful but still better than back home "