LGBT Characters and Related Groups (Balmung)

[Tortles]

It's particularly prudent for individuals who suffer from some level of social anxiety, which I imagine is quite common among LGBTQA people who have suffered abuse for their differences. No matter how many times you tell them "it's okay, the community's cool", the fact remains that it's a server full of tens of thousands of people and you cannot absolutely guarantee that all of the people you run into are going to be as cool with this stuff as others.

 

Even with no threat of any harm of mistreatment, I still carry a lot of my social anxiety over from the real world. It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it. I like getting to know a handful of characters that I may develop friendships with IC and IRL, while also potentially meeting characters my own may end up getting involved with over time.

 

Edit: To anyone who may have missed it, a linkshell has been created here by AquiziTC

[111]

So I have a question, if you are LGBT (which I am, I might add), what does that have to do with RP?

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters? I can see an LS for maybe figuring out how to RP an LGBT character for people who OOCly aren't, but I'm not sure how sexuality would change your RP. I RP characters of lots of different situations, some of which I am not personally.

[Tortles]

So I have a question, if you are LGBT (which I am, I might add), what does that have to do with RP?

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters? I can see an LS for maybe figuring out how to RP an LGBT character for people who OOCly aren't, but I'm not sure how sexuality would change your RP. I RP characters of lots of different situations, some of which I am not personally.

 

It would vary from player to player. I imagine many LGBT people play LGBT characters. I do, personally, because it comes naturally to me. I'm pretty exclusively into men IRL, but I tend to play bisexual characters for the sake of being a little open.

 

Being connected to LGBT characters and players could be helpful to someone who isn't queer IRL, but wants to play a character that is.

 

Some people might just want a safe space where they can get advice, or unwind with others who they can talk to about related subjects with less anxiety.

 

I'm personally not experienced with transgender characters in roleplay. I've rarely ever seen a transgender character, and I imagine that can be very challenging to do. I'm sure a network of allies could be a good resource.

 

To each their own, really. Some may not see a point and want to participate, while others seemingly have wanted a network like this for some time.

[Gone.]

That doesn't make it any less frustrating though - especially when those characters end up being portrayed as walking stereotypes. A character shouldn't be defined by their sexuality as far as I'm concerned - it should just be something that they happen to have alongside everything else.

 

Graeham's bisexual but it rarely comes up in role-play because he doesn't try and sleep with everything that moves. If people want to make their character's sexuality a major point of their character then that's fine - but they shouldn't be surprised if other people find it off-putting. I feel the same way about straight characters too, so it's not a matter of discrimination.

 

First paragraph: yeah, sure, 110% agree.

 

Second, though: not everyone interested in romance is looking for a quick fuck. I'd even wager that very few are. Can we please stop with this silly stigma? It makes kittens cry.

 

The opportunity to write with characters who might share a comon experience that my character has. Sexual attraction may be part of the LGBT alphabet, but it's not the only way we relate to one another. Especially if you, or your character, is under one of the other letters. It's also often nice to play with someone who's player (and possibly character) understands your characters gender identity, challenges and direction.

 

It's entirely possible to find, as I've done it through other formats plenty of times.

 

The thing is, in Eorzea, no one cares if you're gay. It's a sexually liberated society outside of some Ishgardian headcanons. Experiences outside of gender identity are likely to be non-existent because there isn't any issue to begin with.

 

Now if your character falls under the T, I can definitely understand that, though sadly they are a rarity and even fewer actually understand what being transgender is like in the first place, much to my personal chagrin.

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters?

 

Actually... yes, I do. Sapphism is kind of my thing because a. we have enough good stories about men as-is and b. it's my comfort zone, what I identify most with.

 

Interestingly enough, a good chunk of female characters in the FFXIV RP community are straight. It's legitimately difficult to find a decent date on any given day. Not even joking; it's truly an anomaly of modern roleplay.

[Dravus]

At no point did I suggest that everybody looking for romantic themes within their role-play only do so for the sake of a sly e-shag. The stigma, however, exists as you pointed out and it unfortunately exists for quite a few reasons.

 

A lot of role-players do focus too heavily upon finding their character a romantic partner. They can do as they please, of course, but it can be pretty damaging to those caught in the crossfire when things go wrong and drama inevitably erupts.

 

I've seen romantic stuff done exceptionally well. I've also seen it done incredibly poorly to the point where friendships and entire guilds have ended up being torn apart in the aftermath.

 

I've also seen a lot of role-players completely cease interaction with anybody other than their character's lover once they've hooked up with which can, in turn, have a pretty negative effect upon the stories of other characters linked to those individuals.

 

That's my penny's worth anyway!

[111]

Actually... yes, I do. Sapphism is kind of my thing because a. we have enough good stories about men as-is and b. it's my comfort zone, what I identify most with.

 

Interestingly enough, a good chunk of female characters in the FFXIV RP community are straight. It's legitimately difficult to find a decent date on any given day. Not even joking; it's truly an anomaly of modern roleplay.

 

Really? I don't have that experience at all. I just find that between my two characters (A Gay Miqo'te and a Bisexual Elezen) the way relationships happen is a lot differently.

 

It's very straightforward with Male/Male relationships, both sides know what they want and just say it.

 

With the female ones it has been decidedly different, relationships are not directly sought, people just meet, and become friends, and things grow from there. It's actually a very interesting dynamic, and meshed with my own personal experiences out of game. I assure you there are plenty of female characters out there who are not against such things, its just much more deeply buried than the gay/hetero stuff splattered all over the quicksand (sometimes literally, the janitors there really earn their pay)

[Altitis Acquired]

So I have a question, if you are LGBT (which I am, I might add), what does that have to do with RP?

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters? I can see an LS for maybe figuring out how to RP an LGBT character for people who OOCly aren't, but I'm not sure how sexuality would change your RP. I RP characters of lots of different situations, some of which I am not personally.

 

Personally, I only RP gay characters... Well, I have ONE character and he is gay. And that's about the only thing my own sexuality has to do with my character. Other than being a tall demon boy with anime hair, of course, which I totally am IRL as well..

 

*cough*

[Blue]

So I have a question, if you are LGBT (which I am, I might add), what does that have to do with RP?

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters? I can see an LS for maybe figuring out how to RP an LGBT character for people who OOCly aren't, but I'm not sure how sexuality would change your RP. I RP characters of lots of different situations, some of which I am not personally.

 

I echo this sentiment. As I've previously stated, as a altaholic I RP all kinds of flavors, that range from personality, to battle classes played, to social statuses, and yes, to sexual orientation to. As of the current account, I've RPd a lesbian (she died at the beginning of the year), a gay, an asexual, and even an homophobic.

 

I cannot find that good thread of RP advice about OOC bleed that was made last year, but one good advice it held there, was to avoid making characters that are too close to how we are IRL. It is a very good magnet for drama that only long-time veteran roleplayers would know how to avoid. Especially if you are new to RP, my advice is to start from something that is to the other side of the spectrum compared to your real self. Though of course, it has to be a character you like, so I guess that if you dislike straight characters, then you're stuck with LGBT-only characters. But so far of the many LGBT RPers I've met, only one hated straight characters, so it's a rare occurrence.

 

Again, RL qualities, traits, statuses, whatchamacallit should not raise fences in what you can RP and who you can RP with. The moment you try to make it a Focus, people will start to worry. I think what lures drama in LGBT LSs is that they are self-labeled LGBT LSs, catering to a certain sexual orientation, so people go there thinking the focus is sex. If I made a Left-handed LS or a Vegan LS or a Feminist LS (yes, being gay or vegan or feminist to me is the same as being left-handed, it's just a part of you, not a key factor or your soul essence), people would come to them thinking the activities and talk to be had in them would be focused on those labels. After all, you don't go to the Tennis Club to play soccer or talk about comic books.

 

And as for the need to stand out until there is absolute acceptance from every single man on Earth, I'd like to repeat a post that I've shared about feminism in a old thesis I made back years ago (yes, I'm a woman and I'm against feminists, shocker!). There cannot be absolute equality for as long as we have something different. To be perfectly equal, we would need to look something like this:

 

 

Should Vegans feel discriminated for as long as there is any carnivore animal on Earth? I hate to do things that may make people dislike me, and I've had to go through therapy before to accept that there will always be someone who doesn't like me. It's true, people with different sexual orientations are still on the beginning when it comes to conforming and being accepted by the majority, but I'd like to think that this is not the case for this RP server. There may be someone out there who dislikes them still, either OOCly, or in my case, ICly (just one character. He's extremely traditionalist and disapproves any interracial, interclan, or non-straight relationships.). But it's the part of the variety of the human species, and I believe that discrimination is definitely not a problem on Balmung. Hell, in some cases, there is an issue of lack thereof of discrimination (Duskwight fellows, preach it).

 

So yes, join a LGBT LS if you want to have chatter/activities catered on that. But if you're looking for one (addressing people in general, not the OP as I know he made a LS now) as a shield against abuse or discrimination OOC, know that this is a non-issue, as many have already stated.

[Altitis Acquired]

I don't mind if people want to make their RP exclusive to certain people. I'm not one of them, but I've met people who, yes, only wants to RP with other gay people, or a miqo'te who only RP's with other miqo'te, etc...

 

It's their choice, and people can RP whatever they want. Everyne doesn't have to RP with everyone if they don't feel like it.

[AquiziTC]

It's very straightforward with Male/Male relationships, both sides know what they want and just say it.

 

I've always found this interesting on a personal level, noticing how this works since I was a wee queer lad just learning of the world of gay clubs and the like. I know of many relationships that turned out to be stable, wonderful, long-lasting, and committed that started out as "oh we met at a club/bar/party" which is shorthand for "we were drunk, thought each other hot, slept together, and found out we liked each other."

 

I mean of COURSE this happens with straight men and women, too. It's just slightly funny to me how often it seemed to happen when I was younger. I'm a bit too old to care about the scene these days to keep tabs on it.

 

On a more serious note, like... it's -slightly- offensive to read some of the stuff. "The only reason this gets brought up is to bang" (paraphrasing). Yes and no? I mean for some people sure, and some others no. For me it's a little deeper than that? I mean, look if I wanted to RP for sex I know of places I can go do that, easily. But my MMO characters have ALWAYS been different than that. They've always started as just "I like the look of this person and this class," and then they have grown from there into REAL characters with motivations and a life, mind, and muse of their own. I immerse myself in them and enjoy playing the game through their eyes and mind.

 

So I've RP'd a lot of stuff with Tenrilaux, and it didn't even have to all be with other players. It's just him living in Eorzea as an adventurer and some people call him a hero yeah sure whatever but still. Romance RP to me, is an extension of that life. I've done it all ways: explicit, fade to black, heterosexual life-partners (thanks, tvtropes!), forever alone/bachelor, etc. It is probably one of the most interesting ways to get a DIFFERENT kind of character growth, if it's done correctly.

 

I will never knock anyone's flavor of RP, it's generally not how I work, but like.. being out there as an LGBT player and character is for things beyond just "let's get my junk wet." Granted yes the bearing in THIS world setting is purely for a relationship bent, but that is simply because Eorzea is so open regarding sexuality. Haven't seen much regarding gender fluidity, but that may change over time.

[Altitis Acquired]

It's very straightforward with Male/Male relationships, both sides know what they want and just say it.

 

I've always found this interesting on a personal level, noticing how this works since I was a wee queer lad just learning of the world of gay clubs and the like. I know of many relationships that turned out to be stable, wonderful, long-lasting, and committed that started out as "oh we met at a club/bar/party" which is shorthand for "we were drunk, thought each other hot, slept together, and found out we liked each other."

 

I mean of COURSE this happens with straight men and women, too. It's just slightly funny to me how often it seemed to happen when I was younger. I'm a bit too old to care about the scene these days to keep tabs on it.

 

On a more serious note, like... it's -slightly- offensive to read some of the stuff. "The only reason this gets brought up is to bang" (paraphrasing). Yes and no? I mean for some people sure, and some others no. For me it's a little deeper than that? I mean, look if I wanted to RP for sex I know of places I can go do that, easily. But my MMO characters have ALWAYS been different than that. They've always started as just "I like the look of this person and this class," and then they have grown from there into REAL characters with motivations and a life, mind, and muse of their own. I immerse myself in them and enjoy playing the game through their eyes and mind.

 

So I've RP'd a lot of stuff with Tenrilaux, and it didn't even have to all be with other players. It's just him living in Eorzea as an adventurer and some people call him a hero yeah sure whatever but still. Romance RP to me, is an extension of that life. I've done it all ways: explicit, fade to black, heterosexual life-partners (thanks, tvtropes!), forever alone/bachelor, etc. It is probably one of the most interesting ways to get a DIFFERENT kind of character growth, if it's done correctly.

 

I will never knock anyone's flavor of RP, it's generally not how I work, but like.. being out there as an LGBT player and character is for things beyond just "let's get my junk wet." Granted yes the bearing in THIS world setting is purely for a relationship bent, but that is simply because Eorzea is so open regarding sexuality. Haven't seen much regarding gender fluidity, but that may change over time.

 

Exactly, thumbs up!

[Yours Truly]

"What kind of issues could an LGBT person face in an online game?"

 

This is a weird example, but... well, WoW's Moon Guard is kind of a weird place.

 

 

I'm a bi lady, and one of my characters was a gay night elf. I'd never done an in-game relationship with him - it wasn't really my thing, not to mention that finding another person roleplaying a gay man without being all fetishistic about it was like finding a diamond in the rough. Anyway, I'd finally found a promising guild with him and I couldn't be happier.

 

After a few weeks with these people, RPing, attending events, chatting, and generally being happy at finding a group of night elf players not insane, one of them starts joking around with me about how her character has a crush on mine. We laugh a bit but then she makes it increasingly clear it wasn't just a joke, so I add something like, "Poor 's barking up the wrong tree, with being gay and all. This can't end well for them."

 

Dead silence, and then an explosion. Gay? He doesn't even act gay! Here, let me write you a dissertation on why it's lorebreaking for a nelf to be gay.  Aren't you bi? Why don't you like me? Our characters belong together, and here's why!

 

I was a little startled but most of these people seemed cool, so I excused myself and logged before I could argue. I did what I could to dodge the moon-eyed shipper, playing alts when she was on or keeping the subject on other things. The atmosphere was a bit frosty - I wouldn't get invited to events that I had before, or I'd get ignored in chat, stuff like that - but I soldiered on and assumed it was me imagining things, or that it would get better with time.

 

About a week later, when I thought the matter had faded away, she pipes up with this in guild chat(paraphrased): "I've been talking with the rest of the officers, and we don't think the gay stuff is appropriate." Basically, I got an ultimatum: change my character so I could pair off with her, or get kicked. I chose option C: calling them gross and leaving the guild myself. You can't fire me, I quit!

 

 

So... yeah, it happens, sometimes. I understand why someone would seek out a LGBT-themed community-within-a-community. It's not about isolationism, or being a special snowflake. It's about finding a community of peers who understand you, and won't ever, ever judge you on the basis of your orientation - a safe space. Bigotry and homophobia are still very common, frequently surfacing in both subtle and overt ways. Calling it a "non-issue" is very narrow-minded and naive at best, and outright harmful and dismissive at worst. Your experiences are not someone else's experiences.

[Altitis Acquired]

"What kind of issues could an LGBT person face in an online game?"

 

This is a weird example, but... well, WoW's Moon Guard is kind of a weird place.

 

 

I'm a bi lady, and one of my characters was a gay night elf. I'd never done an in-game relationship with him - it wasn't really my thing, not to mention that finding another person roleplaying a gay man without being weird and fetishistic about it was like finding a diamond in the rough. Anyway, I'd finally found a promising guild with him and I couldn't be happier.

 

After a few weeks with these people, RPing, attending events, chatting, and generally being happy at finding a group of night elf players not insane, one of them starts joking around with me about how her character has a crush on mine. We laugh a bit but she makes it increasingly clear it wasn't just a joke, so I add something like, "Poor 's barking up the wrong tree, with being gay and all. This can't end well for them."

 

Dead silence, and then an explosion. Gay? He doesn't even act gay! Here, let me write you a dissertation on why it's lorebreaking for a nelf to be gay.  Aren't you bi? Why don't you like me? Our characters belong together, and here's why!

 

I was a little startled but most of these people seemed cool, so I excused myself and logged before I could argue. I did what I could to dodge the moon-eyed shipper, playing alts when she was on or keeping the subject on other things. The atmosphere was a bit frosty - I wouldn't get invited to events that I had before, or I'd get ignored in chat, stuff like that - but I soldiered on and assumed it would get better with time.

 

About a week later, when I thought the matter had faded away, she pipes up with this in guild chat(paraphrased): "I've been talking with the rest of the officers, and we don't think the gay stuff is appropriate." Basically, I got an ultimatum: change my character so I could pair off with her, or get kicked. I chose option C: calling them gross and leaving the guild myself. You can't fire me, I quit!

 

 

 

So... yeah, it happens, sometimes. I understand why someone would seek out a LGBT-themed community-within-a-community. It's not about isolationism, or being a special snowflake. It's about finding a community of peers who understand you, and won't ever, ever judge you on the basis of your orientation - a safe space. Bigotry and homophobia are still very common, frequently surfacing in both subtle and overt ways. Calling it a "non-issue" is very narrow-minded and naive at best, and outright harmful and dismissive at worst. Your experiences are not someone else's experiences.

 

Holy shizz-nozzle! What a cunt! D:

I'm sorry you had to go through something like that.

[Blue]

Calling it a "non-issue" is very narrow-minded and naive at best, and outright harmful and dismissive at worst. Your experiences are not someone else's experiences.

 

By non-issue, I meant that it doesn't happen on the ordinary. After spending almost two years here and seeing zero situations where whatsoever discrimination regarding sexual orientation was seen either IC or OOC, I think I can safely say that these things though they can happen, because if there's ying there will always be yang somewhere are not ordinary, and do not require hiding/closing away from others/isolating/etc. I'm sorry that puts me as a narrow-minded and naive person, harmful and dismissive (which, wow, is way worse of a collection of adjectives that I feel I have been sharing with others in this discussion), but my concept of ordinary is clearly different from yours.

 

Either way, my thoughts have run their course on the topic, so I shall leave the thread now before I get more of that simply for trying to encourage some more open-mindedness and equality in a world that, as far as I have seen, is already open-minded and supportive of equality all year round. Looking forward to seeing you guys RP around.

[ShoggMommy]

So I have a question, if you are LGBT (which I am, I might add), what does that have to do with RP?

 

Gay RPers? Do you only RP gay characters? I can see an LS for maybe figuring out how to RP an LGBT character for people who OOCly aren't, but I'm not sure how sexuality would change your RP. I RP characters of lots of different situations, some of which I am not personally.

 

I'm personally pan so I'll bite.

 

I do not only play gay characters or bi characters or anything of the sort personally. For me? I play any sexuality. I've played straight characters, I've played asexual characters, bi, pan, gay, etc etc etc.

 

I separate myself completely from my characters what I like may not be what my character may like. I have straight female characters, and I've had straight male characters in the past.

 

I personally like a bit of everything when it comes to rping. I like trying out new things, and I research a -lot- when I do something that is out of the norm for myself.

[Darien Cadell]

Not 'everyone' is legitimately nice. I'm really and genuinely glad to hear that your experiences have been positive, but not everyone has had the same.

I've been nearly outted by people I trusted (who were not LGBTQA) on purpose and to blackmail me. It took me threatening legal action for it to stop.

I've had a RP partner stop talking to me entirely when they found out.

I've had another RP partner make snide comments about friends of mine (who are out) TOWARDS me that were very offensive, not knowing that I also was in that same predicament, but closeted. 

I've seen people call my closest friends anything from 'it' to 'he-she' to any other number of very transphobic things, and they'd absolutely refuse to call him by his preferred gender pronouns. 

 

All of these things happened on this very server, from people who are or have been on this server. No, not everyone is legitimately nice and some of us now have severe trust issues alongside it. Not everyone is the same, and not everyone will respond to hurtful things the same way. For one person, what they view as water off a duck's back may be a straw that broke the camel's back to another. You may be able to brush it off, but it may send another person into a spiraling depression.

 

Seems like some people are missing this in through their rose-colored goggles regarding the amazingness of our community.

 

I'm so so so sorry you had experiences like these. Blackmail? That's beyond the pale.

 

I'm an ally myself, but I've had so so many LGBT IC encounters that I'd been beginning to think that the LGBT characters (I know very little of players) actually significantly outnumbered the cis. That's not problematic, but it shows how important it is to step back and realize that any given individual's experience is far from reflective of everybody else's.

 

And dropping another tag for Tenrilaux's new LS.

[Tortles]

I don't think it's currently important to discuss whether or not there should or should not be an organized place for LGBT characters and players. Some want it, some don't, and no one is required to participate. The community overall seems pretty inclusive, so its less of a problem than it was many years ago.

 

No one should feel like anyone is trying to seclude themselves off from the rest of the community. Relationships can be a big part of roleplay, and I've rarely had the opportunity to play one while also playing as a homosexual character. It would be easier if I played a heterosexual character, sure. It bothers me though, because it's a little too reminiscent of playing it straight in the real world for the sake of fitting in.

 

I struggle to include myself in roleplay situations, as I often feel like people tend to stick to their own cliques, and I don't find opportunities to comfortably include myself. I tend to go to any public event that coincides with my available play time, even if the theme doesn't have a lot to do with my characters, just for the sake of being involved. In roleplay you don't always have a lot of time to get to know people. You don't have the benefit of reading body language, or feeling any natural chemistry. I don't want to have to start hitting on characters or making comments about attraction and sexuality IC to announce myself, either. I like the idea of being introduced to other characters who, if I get along with and enjoy RPing with, I can keep their orientation in the back of my mind and be open to possibilities.

 

Some might say that relationships don't matter so much in roleplay, but I've seen enough of it in my day to disagree. Countless weddings and love ceremonies in this game and other games I've played. You'll often see many characters sitting together, talking about their relationship or just rubbing up against each other going "Oh, it is late, are you tired, my loving love?" "Yes, dear, it has been a long day of fighting coeurls but I am so happy to be here in your arms now". The game has marriage now, and I dunno.. It might be cool to participate in a feature like that at some point?

 

All that being said, I've also joined an artist linkshell, and am looking for a reliable generic RP linkshell for meeting people—casting a wide net. I'm also keeping an eye out for potential free companies to join. There's more to me and my character than just my orientation, but it is part of me, and it is part of my character.

[Altitis Acquired]

There was a bar, an FC house in Lavender Beds that was made into a gay bar called the Speakeasy. It was actually a really awesome place, but due to said drama I talked about earlier in this thread, it kinda shut down. Too bad, because it was fun to go and be a place and just be gay with other gays.

 

It's like when people meet at cons to do cosplay, or go to tournaments to play Yu-Gi-Oh or whatever. People sharing interests and having fun. ^^

[Dravus]

Would Eorzea even have 'gay bars' though? I could understand a brothel catering to gay men but 'gay bar' feels like a term that's a bit too...modern. As for the drama, I've sort of trained myself to be wary of the LGBT community due to all the drama that seems ready to burst from beneath the surface at the slightest misunderstanding or perceived 'easy target'.

 

I've been harassed for playing and preferring men who look and act like men instead of conforming to the stereotypical portrayal of gay men. I've been harassed for being bisexual with people claiming that I want to sleep with everyone I meet or that it's 'just a phase'. This has happened far more often at the hands of the LGBT community itself than at the hands of anybody outside of it. I suppose in some ways the LGBT movement is its own worst enemy at times.

[AquiziTC]

Would Eorzea even have 'gay bars' though? I could understand a brothel catering to gay men but 'gay bar' feels like a term that's a bit too...modern. As for the drama, I've sort of trained myself to be wary of the LGBT community due to all the drama that seems ready to burst from beneath the surface at the slightest misunderstanding or perceived 'easy target'.

 

I've been harassed for playing and preferring men who look and act like men instead of conforming to the stereotypical portrayal of gay men. I've been harassed for being bisexual with people claiming that I want to sleep with everyone I meet or that it's 'just a phase'. This has happened far more often at the hands of the LGBT community itself than at the hands of anybody outside of it. I suppose in some ways the LGBT movement is its own worst enemy at times.

 

Firstly: Yes the LGBT+ community has to deal with its own prejudices and stuff! Like with bisexual folks, or transgendered individuals. It is something that good activist groups and kind-minded people try to keep in check. I try to call out the hypocrisy whenever I notice it. (It's something I was trained to look forward to in college, with student organization things.)

 

I have my own theory about the vaunted 'gay drama.' It kinda boils down to a person unable to handle their own power after being used to being powerless or something to that note. It's hard to describe in just a few words, and it's just the psych side of me (yay psychology livelihood!) overthinking, perhaps.

 

As for the gay 'bar.' Eh, I dunno. Sometimes people just want to have a little fun with the setting. Not EVERYTHING has to be 100% lore explainable. It could also just be a weird quirk that is rare, but if it's not hurting anyone who cares?

[111]

Would Eorzea even have 'gay bars' though? I could understand a brothel catering to gay men but 'gay bar' feels like a term that's a bit too...modern. As for the drama, I've sort of trained myself to be wary of the LGBT community due to all the drama that seems ready to burst from beneath the surface at the slightest misunderstanding or perceived 'easy target'.

 

I've been harassed for playing and preferring men who look and act like men instead of conforming to the stereotypical portrayal of gay men. I've been harassed for being bisexual with people claiming that I want to sleep with everyone I meet or that it's 'just a phase'. This has happened far more often at the hands of the LGBT community itself than at the hands of anybody outside of it. I suppose in some ways the LGBT movement is its own worst enemy at times.

 

There is what seems to be a lesbian bar in Limsa, or at least an all female one. A gay bar doesn't seem that unlikely. Eorzeans are horn dogs.

[shotgunbadger]

Yea Eorzeans have a fairly libertine attitude about sex in general it feels like, lots of places you can go where people are just making bawdy comments and jokes in the open. Not like you can start dry humping in the market square or whatever but it strikes me as at the very least some form of 'gay bar' could exist without having guards shut it down. There would reasonably be a decent bit of 'oh yea we don't wanna go THERE' stuff to deal with but I don't think any of the major cities (except Ishgard who has their own weird shit) would outright say 'no if you set this up we're gonna raid it Stonewall style'.

[Tortles]

Would Eorzea even have 'gay bars' though? I could understand a brothel catering to gay men but 'gay bar' feels like a term that's a bit too...modern. As for the drama, I've sort of trained myself to be wary of the LGBT community due to all the drama that seems ready to burst from beneath the surface at the slightest misunderstanding or perceived 'easy target'.

 

I've been harassed for playing and preferring men who look and act like men instead of conforming to the stereotypical portrayal of gay men. I've been harassed for being bisexual with people claiming that I want to sleep with everyone I meet or that it's 'just a phase'. This has happened far more often at the hands of the LGBT community itself than at the hands of anybody outside of it. I suppose in some ways the LGBT movement is its own worst enemy at times.

 

Roleplayers are always going to create events that they want, even if they aren't accurate to the world lore. There are many free companies and characters that deviate from the lore, but people want them, so they'll do them. People play characters and organizations based on their favorite books, movies, animes, and whatever. Even though we may not always agree, sometimes you just gotta let 'em roll with it. Would Eorzea have gay bars, probably not. Do we need them? No. If people want them? Sure.

 

It sucks that you've dealt with some of those issues, and I understand what you mean. I get annoyed by the common bisexual-bashing, and tend to argue with other gay people who criticize it. I also get very annoyed when gay guys start bashing lesbians or transgender folks, even if it's just in jest. People have to be called out on it.

 

Drama often is a problem with the gay community, but it's also a problem with roleplay communities, and that's for a number of reasons that I'm not enough of a psychologist to get into. I think it's important for members of communities to keep each other in line, and learn to see behavior that leads up to conflict, even if you're not the party being offended.

 

People are complex, and groups are even more complex. I would prefer to see a loose network of LGBT individuals, rather than some organized coalition, the same way I'd also like a loose network of general roleplayers, or chocobo racers, or fishing buddies, or whatever.

[Thorgar]

the only time in my life orientation has ever bothered me is when im trying to talk to someone and they have their back to me lol.  Seriously be yourself and have fun, if anyone gives ya grief we club'em like baby seals and feed them to primals. I have always said we are here to have fun not ruin the fun of others.

 

Even if you RP a racist/speciest/bigot be courteous and send a tell to the people your RPing with to let them know its all in character, and be willing to drop it if it ruins the game for those people.

 

I have never understood the need to shove ones personal beliefs into other peoples faces, always seemed rude to me lol. we are who we are be proud to know the people you do they are each unique and should be respected for that.

[Suviyo Viyo]

I'm not going to blather and ramble too much here because I'm still fairly new to this RP community. But still, as an out transwoman, I have found it nice to be part of communities where I can feel less alone and isolated in that. I know some of you like being all strong and independent... but some of us do appreciate support and similarly understanding people to talk to when issues arise.

 

For me MMOs are about more than just RP, questing, dungeons, etc... to me it's a social community where you spent a significant amount of time doing fun activities like that... but still a place online to go and be social. And for someone who sometimes finds themselves in the crosshairs of a still rather hostile society... It's really important to have safe spaces you can turn to.

 

Just saying... It seems nice here so far... but I HAVE witnessed a number of incidents in other MMO games that make me feel less safe sometimes to be open about who I am.