Married IC issues.

[Branson Thorne]

Perhaps I may have mis-worded it, but just to clarify. I was more referring to as "Is it any surprise that people can become so tangled in it" not so much a "Hey we should accept them."

 

The point being is, it's no different then the problems you can have in rel life surrounding such friendships, romances and relationships. It should be no surprise to anyone when IC/OOC lines blur because though these may just be fictional characters in a game, there is a real person, with real emotions and feelings behind them. These characters are not just merely words on a page, but watched over for by their players.

 

Hopefully that clears it up a bit?

[Tierney Weaver]

Going through this thread was a bizarre experience

[ArmachiA]

To me, it is kind of surprising since I really see all this as playing with Barbie Dolls. Yeah you can have your barbie fall in love with someone else's Ken (Or Barbie, whatever) but eventually you put down the plastic dolls and the relationship doesn't bleed over to real life in any way. If there's a strong emotional investment, to the point where IC bleed is occuring, it IS a bit of a shock since it shouldn't be that way at all.

 

As someone said above, I understand feeling empathy and an attachment to the characters and their life together, but regardless of human emotion we know going into this it's fake. We all know this is pretendy times, people don't get to act super emotional with ooc bleed when they know what they were getting into. That's almost a betrayal of trust in and of itself. People shouldn't suddenly act like it's real when they KNEW going in it was fake.

 

So yeah, it can be surprising.

 

But it's also why I have a lot of walls before I rp romance with someone, since you learn the hard way it happens SO often that it becomes unsurprising.

[Arrelaine]

To me, it is kind of surprising since I really see all this as playing with Barbie Dolls. Yeah you can have your barbie fall in love with someone else's Ken (Or Barbie, whatever) but eventually you put down the plastic dolls and the relationship doesn't bleed over to real life in any way. If there's a strong emotional investment, to the point where IC bleed is occuring, it IS a bit of a shock since it shouldn't be that way at all.

 

As someone said above, I understand feeling empathy and an attachment to the characters and their life together, but regardless of human emotion we know going into this it's fake. We all know this is pretendy times, people don't get to act super emotional with ooc bleed when they know what they were getting into. That's almost a betrayal of trust in and of itself. People shouldn't suddenly act like it's real when they KNEW going in it was fake.

 

So yeah, it can be surprising.

 

But it's also why I have a lot of walls before I rp romance with someone, since you learn the hard way it happens SO often that it becomes unsurprising.

This is pretty much how I feel about RP. You dress your Barbie up, get her a fake house and a fake car and sometimes you rip her head off.

 

...but only sometimes. Eventually you run out of Barbies.

 

I think a lot of the time people forget that this -is- the internet and this is a game. All you have to do is turn it off. If things are getting out of hand emotionally, just turn it off for a bit. Go cool off. If people are bothering you, go do something else, turn off the game, turn off your social medias (including your RP sites and tumblrs).

 

No one has to affect your OOC life unless you want them to. Yes, we're all people and we all have feelings, but we're also people who only talk through this medium. We don't see each other IRL, most of us don't even know the others' real names. To top that off, we're all playing imaginary characters in a made-up world in made-up scenarios. We turn it off, our characters stop. Once the RP stops being fun for you, it's time to turn it off. This should be no more serious than story writing, or playing music, or sewing or drawing.

 

I'll repeat what I said before: The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Do what will make you the most happy, if that also happens to make someone else happy, then kudos.

[Shofie]

This hands down sounds like an abusive relationship, and I would cut ties with this person. This sort of thing very rarely has a happy ending, and honestly, if you're actively avoiding the game and Skype and such to avoid this person, that is a HUGE RED FLAG.

 

People saying this is "situational" and "we're only getting one side of the story!" need to realize a really important point:

 

The OP's feelings are not invalid. 

 

People suggesting she stay in this situation are basically suggesting she swallow her feelings and more or less deal with this person, because there may be a "reason" why they are clingy and controlling and manipulative. And make no mistake, that's what this person is doing. They are manipulating the OP into behaving the way they want her to.

 

She is not obligated to stay in a relationship she is unhappy in, IC or OOC, period. 

 

Yes, her spouse's feelings are valid too, but the bottom line is, if the OP is actively avoiding the game and social networking stuff because of this person, and isn't "allowed" to make other friends or RP with other people, then that's not healthy. This is not a healthy relationship. It's dangerous. The spouse's feelings do not give them a right to control her like this.

 

I would suggest you pull them aside and flatly tell them you are direly unhappy and things need to change, and that from now on, you will be roleplaying in a manner that you enjoy, and talking to others, etc. If they can't handle this, then cut ties with the person immediately. 

 

Honestly though, I've never seen these sorts of things work themselves out very well, and you'll probably have to severe ties with the person anyway.

 

I'm reasonably sure your attempts to talk to them will result in them either attempting to smother you in the worst guilt trip you have ever seen ("I don't have anyone else!" "Don't you care about me?" "I'll kill myself if you leave!"), or them swinging around the opposite way and becoming outright hostile and abusive, ("No one else will want to roleplay with you, your roleplay was garbage anyway!" "Your character is shitty, and you're lucky I even bothered to roleplay with you!" or "Fine, I'll fine other people to roleplay with who aren't awful to me!").

 

Either way, go in prepared. Take care of yourself. You have the right to enjoy your roleplay, and your game. This person is taking your enjoyment of these away, and they do not have the right to do that.