ArmachiA

We actually banned kidnapping in our overarching plots because so many people wanted to be kidnapped and it was getting exhausting . We don't get a say when people do their own personal stories or one-offs so it still happens quite a bit. On "Stories shouldn't revolve around one person". If you CAN, you should make a story that doesn't really have a main character at all. Nothing from anyone's backstory (Unless it's a shared backstory with more people involved). You can have people who can be integral at the START to get it off the ground (Then let the story be free to go toward whoever grabs for it) but none of them should be the single focus of the plotline. I know this can't be avoided all the time (Hell, we're guilty of this right now) but it's good to START with a more neutral plot line that anyone can jump into without having to know . Once trust is established, you can absolutely branch off into more personal storylines. On "One-offs are better". I think that really depends on the RPer. There are a lot of people in my guild who really like long, overarching plots and there are some who don't really have time for that and can't participate, and some even still who don't like keeping track of the madness and just wanna punch some baddies sometimes. If you're looking to do the first thing, I suggest actually doing BOTH. It's actually really easy to put one-off plots within your overarcing storyline. Lets say your bad guy uh... We'll call him Bob, is threatening to do SOMETHING with some ancient artifact that may hurt Eorzea! But you don't know much on what that artifact is! What do you do? A one-off dungeon run into the great Library to look for info may be the best bet OR if you have more time - a one-off roll20 into some ancient ruins to find more information. Then you find more info on how to stop Bob, but alas you don't have the right pieces to make thing you need! And the pieces are illegal and hard to find in Eorzea! You can then do a one-off about smuggling the pieces in. These are all things that would work separately ("Finding info on artifacts" "Smuggle in goods") without a plot, so people without a lot of time or inclination CAN participate, but they also circle back to your overarcing plotline for those more deeply involved. These aren't events you have to run either, if you have some active members they may just volunteer to run it and ask you what they would find when they do. A lot of one-offs my guild does are run by other people who want to help find answers... though you may not get to many people volunteering at the start.

Not sure if my experience will help you but I throw up what worked for me. I run the stories in the Night Blades FC and they are very large affairs. We call each arc a "season" and they usually last about 4-6 months depending with about 4-5 months downtime in between. Usually any story has about 20ish people involved. ~ A team is important. While I'm the head, I actually have a team of volunteers who help me guide and run the story. They don't have any actual power with in the FC, they really want to make sure the story stays cohesive and someone is always on to answer questions and relay to me what's been moved ahead plot wise. On top of that, they can be your hype man for you. Make sure you get people you trust here, because if one person drops out it can really eff up everything. ~ Hype is kind of important. I personally don't like a lot of hype, because I think it creates too much expectation that's hard for a team of volunteers to really live up to, but I do see the usefulness in a little hype. For us, it's usually what we like to call "The Waiver". The Waiver is a thread on the forum that says "If you want to be a part of this storyline, you must agree to the Waiver because your character may be hurt. Sign here." This actually creates it's own buzz. "Oh a dangerous storyline?" "What's this about?" ~ Villains are really really important. Not henchman or randos, but actual villains with names and their own motivations. I actually noticed no one really cared in the story the FC was telling until the Villains started invading their space and forcing them to react. Then they wanted to jump in. Honestly, 90% of my GMing life is deciding what the villains are going to do, what their next move will be, what their backstory is, who their going to attack, etc etc. Get that team you trust to roll some villains and make sure you guys actually play them. People like seeing tangible conflict, if you just say there's some seedy person off screen they are less likely to care then if they SEE them. ~ Start small. The very first guild story had a total of 5 people interested. 5. And at the time we had around 25 people. We did it anyway and the small group had such a blast they then kept talking about how great it was in our downtime, which made like 15 people interested in the next one, then 30, then 40 (That got a little hard to handle). Make a great story for whatever audience you have and more will follow when they realize what they missed. There's probably 3 or 4 people in your FC who are interested in bigger, darker plots right now - make a story for them! Once they start talking about how cool it is or how interesting a certain villain is, or how they need to figure out something, it will pique other players interest. ~ Being a leader suuuccckkss. This one is something your going to have to get used to if you plan on continuing this route. It's... really hard to actually get RPers to move because they like their comfort zone and A LOT of them don't want any uncontrolled conflict because they're too afraid of what might happen to their characters (It doesn't matter how many times we say "A GM is not allowed to kill your character without your permission" we STILL get 10-15 "You were going to kill my character without my permission!" complaints per story). You have to earn a lot of trust with the playerbase, because people are very protective of their characters. Just keep attempting and don't get discouraged. Keep saying you won't permanently kill or maim characters, that it's all in good fun, and show them that it is. Eventually, the ones who are willing to engage and have fun will make themselves known. Honestly, I could go one for pages and pages about being a GM in FFXIV. Since I've been doing it for 3 years I have... a lot of experience for better or for worse.

Yeah I can get behind that. If her actions are the complete opposite of her words, you gotta go with her actions here bud.

Whoo there was a lot more to the story. I have seen this happen before. We like to pretend that rp romance doesn't ruin real relationships and, while it happens less often then people would think, it happens more often than rpers want to admit to. I have some pretty gnarly stories of people from my own FC. You and your girlfriend were dealing with some pretty hefty issues, compound that with the fact this RPing in an MMO stuff was new to both of you and I can see where you thought something was there that probably wasn't. It's possible, because you were so miserable yourself, while nothing was going on between the two, the attention and support she was getting from that friend and the fake relationship they had was really nice to her. It's easy to forget your problems when you have lovey dovey kissy face rp to help you. I've seen A LOT of rpers use it as a crutch for their own issues. However, it's a shame you couldn't trust her, here. If she hadn't done anything previously to harm the relationship there was no reason not to. After 6 years, she should have had that. I'm going to give you the same advice I did previously. If you two want to make it work - communicate communicate communicate. I know talking about feelings isn't easy, but it's necessary. Feeling neglected? Say so. Feeling Jealous? Say so. Need reassurance? Say so. In those moments where we feel weakest is when we need to put away pride and actually talk about how we feel. It's not irrational to do so. It's not weakness. I really hope you two can work this out. I wish you luck. Also, HAMMER DOWN.

Roleplaying can take A LOT of time, for sure. Some sessions I just.. completely forget how long I've been there and suddenly it's 7 hours later. Has she just started rping and this is all new to both of you? Don't be afraid to tell her you feel like she's spending too much time on the game either. But... do that carefully, she could get defensive quickly.

I have severe panic disorder ama. But seriously, I'm diagnosed and take pills for it. I understand the concern, and can empathize to an extent, but if they have social anxiety why are they partaking in a VERY social activity? As someone who deals with severe anxiety to the point I get panic attacks, I actually don't like being coddled and abhore it when people start treating me with kid gloves once they find out.

I have lost a lot of weight. Now that 2017 is hitting I get to brag a little. 2015, I weighed 270 pounds. I don't really have much of an excuse for this, I was going through some mental stuff and just... didn't stop eating.

Yeah definitely talk to her about the fact that you want to spend quality time in the game with just you two. If the guy is not a jerk, he'll also understand that you two want to just hang out together and he can make an appearance later. Set those boundaries ("I'm fine with you rping, but I'd like you to spend time with me in the game as well"). If you're new to the roleplaying scene (Even just watching it from the sidelines) I absolutely understand how this can be playing with your insecurities. It's almost odd to watch romance rp and think that it's fake. But, don't be quick to anger, calm communication is very important. Good luck and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

Okay so, I can answer a bit. I've been dating my SO for 11 years now, but my character is married to a very close friend of mine who I met in the game. The answer is: Whenever you feel like it is. Are you uncomfortable with how much time she's spending RPing with this person? Does she RP with them a lot? Did they get really close in a short amount of time and their OOC interactions are making you uncomfortable? Do you know the RP partner and does he talk to you? Does she ERP without your permission (Or with your "I guess it's okay..." kind of permission)? Take a look at the idea objectively. If she's rping with this guy every day, for hours and hours, and you have no idea what the rp is or whats going on - that's not really okay if your uncomfortable. If it's a couple times a week and she doesn't seem to be hiding anything from you, that could be your own insecurity. There's a lot of variables to this question because people are very different. Me and my SO aren't jealous people, we give each other a lot of space, but not all relationships are like ours and that's okay. You get to set the boundaries of what is comfortable to deal with. If what she's doing isn't comfortable for YOU, then it's generally not okay. If you need a more specific answer, I'm afraid you'll have to get a little more specific.

There's just... so many reasons for everything in this discussion, that's why both sides get frustrated. There are HUNDREDS of reasons why someone did get RP or didn't get RP or got into a group fast or didn't. It's ridiculously hard to judge an entire community based on actions that are case by case. It's almost impossible to diagnose and cure said issues when there are so many. This isn't one thing ("I feel like I'm not welcome") this is a plethora of things that look like one thing. We just... don't know how to help here because we'd have to look at your case specifically and there's no way to DO that without screenshots or some kind of evidence as to what actually happened. The best we can give you is "Keep trying." I'm not very active in the community myself. I have my own little bubble in my FC and I stick to that. Most would say my behavior is extremely cliquish. The truth is, as the GM of my guild, writing and organizing stories takes so much of my in game time (And out of game time - with meetings between all the Storytellers, helpers, and villains. Lore discussion and research to see what works and what doesn't, making sure members of the guild feel the story is open, addressing questions from members about advancing the plot, etc etc) between that and raiding I just don't have TIME to go outside of that circle. I'm hella open to new people, but most of the new people I meet are people my FC members have already met and just introduced me to. Does that make me a bad person because I can't really go out and make myself available to new people? I dunno, but that's my lot in this game.

Did... did I say you were attacking me personally? I was attacking your argument, I wasn't offended. And I never once said what you were doing was "wrong" what I said was see it from the other side and offer explanations as to what's probably happening. There's two sides to every story, and there's probably a logical explanation to most of those things beyond "No one wants me to RP with them" If we continue the narrative that people are doing this maliciously, it's only doing the community a disservice. There are reasons people are doing what their doing that isn't "Ew. Newbies" like... 95% of the time. Are there assholes in the community? HELL YES. There are assholes in EVERY community, but that's usually an outlier.

I have a character that started with a fake leg, and it's just a normal clockwork metal leg that works out pretty good. I have it so she isn't very good at melee for obvious reasons, so she gravitates toward magic. She makes a lot of sarcastic jokes about it and knocks on it in roleplay to let people in on it, and walks with a slight limp. My advice it not to treat it like it's not going to have any consequences at all. I see a few RPers who lose a limb and it... doesn't effect them at all. It's just a cool thing that happened. Add some depth to that, make it so there are some bad things. Make it add to the depth of the character, not just some cool thing that happened.

Toxic is a pretty harsh word, mate, and completely inaccurate. Just because something is difficult doesn't mean it's toxic. Let's bring up your points here: ~ Most people do avoid people with the leaf, because there are so many level one ERP alts it's hard to tell who's legit. ~ 90% of RPers are not initiators. In fact, they're a lot like the people who are getting frustrated about cliques! Shy, awkward, and waiting for someone to walk up to them. I took up the job of GM for my guild because of this fact - because if I didn't place people in a situation to interact they wouldn't interact. Initiators are RARE, even in real life. ~ 3 or 4 times out of 10 with strangers seems like really good odds? I'm not sure how that makes the community Toxic. ~ Approaching a group without asking first that's probably true, but you have to see it from this: if it's 4 or more people there probably in the middle of some furious typing to get out what they gotta get out. Trying to get a word in with any group can be difficult, and they could be in the middle of something and... just don't see it. One of the most common things I've noticed is that a stranger can affect the flow. If a stranger comes in, they can't expect all dialogue they were having to suddenly cease and then they suddenly start paying attention to said stranger. They have to find a good stopping point in the conversation tree in order to do that, which is why I recommend /tells. ~ Depends on the FC. But someone here said it best that just because they're at a bar doesn't mean it's okay to walk up to them. You wouldn't do that in real life if you say they were deep into convo and they could have been discussion something plot related. It was VERY rude to put you on blast, but it can be SUPER awkward to bring in a stranger if you're discussing the greater overall FC plot. The thing is, people have to look at this from all sides and they just don't. I am a pretty big advocate of new people getting into rp, and can admit there are some issues, but lets not overdramatize.

I absolutely agree that OOC connections is a big ol' part of it. Probably one of the biggest. Getting into LSs/FCs and being active (Not necessarily chatty, but present) is an easy way to break in where you want to break in. Playing an antisocial character can be fun... IIIFFF you don't really mind it's going to take longer to make those IC connections. If it doesn't phase you that a lot of characters/players won't make the effort to break your characters icy exterior, then play one! If, however, the idea of not many people trying makes you frustrated, you're better off playing a different sort of character.

Balmung's greatest strength is that it has so many rpers, it's also it's greatest weakness. I can count a number of games on fingers and toes that RPers wanted what Balmung had - to pick one rp server for everyone to go to. It never happened obviously, but watching Balmung is watching what people actually wanted and seeing the grass isn't always greener. We can probably easily surmise 75% of all RPers are on Balmung. This means if you want to get some decent RP in and actually find RPers, the best place to go is Balmung - they're everywhere after all! Unfortunately the more RPers there are, the more likely you're going to get lost in a crowd. Most RP servers kind lived on the Supply and Demand theory - where there was always a low supply of RPers so people would be open to RP with whoever they ran passed. On Balmung the supply of RPers is really really high, so demand is lower. We can find exactly what we're looking for in our circles - whether it's Lore compliance, or NPC RP, or Warrior of Light RP, or Non-lore Compliance. Hell, you could probably find a Sailormoon RP group on this server if you looked hard enough. This gives the perception of impenetrable cliques - because we all found what we wanted from whatever circle we're in so we aren't actively looking anymore. That's not to say we don't mind newcomers joining our circle, we just aren't advertising that we're looking. So if groups don't advertise, how does a new person know where to go? The sad part is, you don't. You either have to keep on trucking till you find someone willing to nibble on the line you're throwing out or make your own circle of newbies who also don't have any clue where to go. Are their cliques on the server? Yeah. Are they impenetrable walls? Nah.

2014: 2015: As we just locked down the house we're staying at this year, 2016 here we come.

In 2014, we all had NB shirts made for Fanfest. Denn bought the "La Curaga" one instead of his own and followed La Curaga around with it on. Pretty much shows the kind of spirit he was. Thanks! We can't do very much, but we want to honor him.

Denn and I worked very closely during his time in FFXIV, as both of us were the main storytellers/GMs for our guild. Denn as a person was a force to be reckoned with. It was actually hard to believe he didn't have much experience roleplaying, and no experience with GMing. He started small when it came to GMing with us, he made a character named Cicero who was nothing more than a minion to our main villain. However, Denn brought ideas to the table I'd never even thought of, he was completely unafraid of giving me some insight and playing his villain with the loose set of rules I'd given everyone. He was able to weave those tiny threads I gave and turn it into probably one of the most memorable villains we ever had, starting from a henchmen, to second in command, and finally over taking our main villain completely to become the next Big Bad. I'm sure some of you interacted with him as the flamboyant cat, he liked to take all his characters out into the world and rp with everyone he could. His creativity and enthusiasm for crafting a story easily matched my own, and we found ourselves coming up with plotlines together - sometimes parallel and not intersecting but still together. He was a great partner in crime, we bounced off each other almost effortlessly, and he was the only one I trusted so much I didn't even need to hear what he had planned next (Though he told me anyway). His ideas were wilder, bolder, riskier than mine and, while I pulled him back from those lofty heights more than once, he taught me to step outside of my own comfort zone and take the risks that we think we can't do in MMO RP. He always knew how to build off the ideas that I already had, and knew how to start things while I was afraid it was too soon. I met him in 2014 and 2015 - for the NB annual Vegas meets. His enthusiasm for Roleplay turned out to be just an Enthusiasm for life itself. I always considered him somewhat of a nihilist with a devil may care attitude, but at the same time he cared very deeply for the people he let into his life. Over the course of these 2 meetings, he talked to everyone about their hopes and fears and what they thought about the world. He was genuinely interested. Constantly said he just wanted to see people smile. He was a risk taker and a goof ball, someone who constantly said he was trying to get his shit together, that he would be better someday. He was already better, he just didn't see it. Denn took some time off the game in order to really focus on school (He was going into the medical field) and talked about how he was wanting to write a book. I loved that idea, it seemed like a natural progression of his creativity. When I told him I, too, wanted to write a book, he immediately said he wanted to read it. I believed him because that's just how he was, his love for people was enormous. He managed to sneak into the game sometimes though, and he was in talks with me and Ellion for coming back for the expansion with a whole new story idea. The last time I talked to Denn one on one was a few months ago. In July, I had to take my own time off the game due to my worsening mental health issues, and he immediately sent me well wishes and told me he was finally out of the darkness and getting his shit together, and he knew that I could find my way out too. In hindsight, that makes all of this really unfair. We were all going to see him in Vegas this year, as 9 of us are headed down for FanFest in October. He was excited, posted in the thread and told people he was really looking forward to it. Told us we had to go because it was going to be his last year in Vegas... It's too hard to think about him being gone.

^ Above is really good advice. The only thing I can add is it really doesn't matter if your backstory is generic or "boring" - for instance my character was a priestess who left the priesthood right when FFXIV started and wasn't very exciting at all - even her parents are still alive! It's all been done before, pretty much all of it. It's all in how you play it, how real your character feels when you're acting it out. That's really it, no one will care if your backstory is simple if your character is interesting. People get way too into thinking the backstory is the character and therefore have these really overly complicated backstories, but really all you need is an interesting personality.

Anything that's a hard "No" or "Yes" I follow pretty much 100%. No exceptions. UNFORTUNATELY, there isn't a whole hell of a lot of those, so most roleplayers have to play in the grey area anyway. There's something called "Deductive Logic" that I pretty much use to fill those gaps. It's basically just means "If this is true AND this is true, then there's a good chance this is also true." Of course, even if there's a 90% chance of being true, that 10% can easily rear it's ugly head, so there's always a risk. Also, RPers may not come to the exact same conclusions, and will have a different end result - which with gray areas I generally accept. We just can't agree on what the lore means 100% until the devs come it and stop making it grey. I have a lore compliant guild that runs really smooth in that department, but we still have a lot of grey area characters. Thaumaturges who use blood magic to strengthen their elemental magic, Conjurers who still use the complete elemental wheel, Void touched, Hearers, Summoners with an actual Egi, Scholars with a fairy, Garlean experiments, Garleans, etc etc. As long as it can be explained using deductive logic and with some evidence in lore, grey area characters are generally fine. For me? Even as lore compliant as I am, I hit the grey area quite a few times - especially as a Storyteller. I think the worst the guild has done was someone accessed the Succor and used Holy in the middle on the ocean (So nothing of note would be destroyed you see) in order to kill a supposedly immortal voidsent. Was it grey? Hell yes, but we added a lot of consequences to make it at least somewhat viable. The person who accessed it had his ability to use Conjury completely revoked by the Elementals (A grey area in itself, since we don't know how much power they actually have) and Gridania came down hard on the guild itself once they caught wind - which was actually a fun story in and of itself. As I do stories for the entire guild with a small team, the stories have to be somewhat big and dramatic, which means grey areas. However I generally stick to a few rules so keep it within limits (I.E - bad guys may threaten to destroy Ul'dah and even have a bomb set up, but they aren't actually allowed to destroy it, the status quo created by the devs must remain in tact). Personal Grey area? As I have my character as someone who grew up in a priesthood and studied Aether, she's basically a monk - but not a Monk. She knows about Chakras and everything but can't fight as a Monk - she can barely throw a punch. I think that's the worst thing I got.

I did not read the last one very well at all and checked the "Lol what's lore?" option by mistake since I thought it meant my character has no bearing on the main story not the main story has no bearing on my character T_T, I meant the second one. Ah well.

I'd really only push the button if it meant no one would ever cross the IC/OOC divide in a way where it destroys friendships/people/FCs. This includes: Knowing that rp is just for fun and not a wish fulfillment thing, Understanding that constructive criticism about your character/stories is okay, That romances ICly aren't real oocly, Pressuring someone to do something you want them to do oocly isn't okay, the understanding not everyone is going to like your character, etc etc Everything else I don't really worry myself over that much beyond some eyerolls. (I'd also push the button if it meant I actually could get my health together to roleplay as much as I used to ;

Ok, do you have any categories that we don't have yet that may fit? Is the R&D magical or technical (or both)? And are you guys for hire? Magical on the research side and technical on the development side. It's a little hard to put us in any of those categories since we do a lot (Sorry!), so maybe employment? And yeah our militia can be hired out if it's for the good of Eorzea (No assassin contracts on rando's and such)

In Game Theme(s): The business of War. We're a "corporation" with and R&D team, a medical staff, it's own militia, and even jobs like bartenders, secretaries, and janitorial staff. Think Shinra from FF7, but on Eorzea's side not against it. FC/LS Name: Night Blades Contacts: Ile Kha (Guild leader), Armi Muramasa (Storyteller) , Tayri Skyflare (RP officer), Brinoix Alrhine (Raid officer), Gilles Leverauex (PR/HR Officer) Website: http://nightblades.shivtr.com/ Housing: Night Blades HQ, Lavender Beds Ward 5, plot 6 - first floor open to anyone.

To me, it is kind of surprising since I really see all this as playing with Barbie Dolls. Yeah you can have your barbie fall in love with someone else's Ken (Or Barbie, whatever) but eventually you put down the plastic dolls and the relationship doesn't bleed over to real life in any way. If there's a strong emotional investment, to the point where IC bleed is occuring, it IS a bit of a shock since it shouldn't be that way at all. As someone said above, I understand feeling empathy and an attachment to the characters and their life together, but regardless of human emotion we know going into this it's fake. We all know this is pretendy times, people don't get to act super emotional with ooc bleed when they know what they were getting into. That's almost a betrayal of trust in and of itself. People shouldn't suddenly act like it's real when they KNEW going in it was fake. So yeah, it can be surprising. But it's also why I have a lot of walls before I rp romance with someone, since you learn the hard way it happens SO often that it becomes unsurprising.