Cliques, Popularity, and Positivity

[FreelanceWizard]

Everyone, let's please take a moment to cool off a bit and get back on topic. People seem to be getting a bit hot under the collar over the whole post count/reputation thing.

 

For what it's worth, there will be no change to the display of reputation, join date, or post count at this time.

 

#magicAdminHat

[Kage]

T_T I only brought it up because it's an example of what Faye was saying in how people become popular. You could get rid of the post count but it won't change the notion? idea? indication? that the reason why someone's name is "out there" and hence, popular, is because well... people saw their name a lot!

 

Word of mouth, whatever. Their name was seen because they posted. Or their presence was constant or consistent in areas that have high populations of RPers.

 

The major thing is... people don't even know they're popular until they see it. Like Faye and Chachanji mentioned when they had people tell them "I'm a little intimidated to RP with you..." Or when i had someone randomly go "Oh, you're that Kage from Balmung aren't you? Stay after this boss fight so I can take a screencap with you!"

[Nebbs]

Have we (or is there) a breakdown of what we think these cliques are?

 

 

[Kage]

To be honest, most of the "cliques" I can think of are more... FC centered?

 

Perhaps maybe even plot-centered?

 

I really don't know what the cliques are in this game ><;

[No Longer Exists]

To be honest, most of the "cliques" I can think of are more... FC centered?

 

Perhaps maybe even plot-centered?

 

I really don't know what the cliques are in this game ><;

 

That is because there is a perception, not a reality, of elitism and cliques forming from it. Certain individuals feel that there are, which has nothing to do with anyone but those particular individuals who should (in my opinion) enjoy themselves without accusing others who are enjoying themselves. As evidenced from these last two days of posts, we are by and large a happy community. 

 

Also, you mentioned posting a lot, not post count specifically. Which is why I stated that Casden brought post count into the equation with his chosen form of parroted answer to your question. It's all good, Kage.

[Branson Thorne]

 

I wouldn't, and have such stated before, that I do not think I'm popular at all, (though I may be recognized in game) So I wouldn't think I'm more popular than anyone. But I will say this, it would stand to reason that the one with the higher post count in the shorter amount of time would be a bit more recognizable than someone with less post in a longer time, but that'd dimply due to maintaining a heavier presence.

 

But I digress, I was simply echoing what the general rule of thumb of new forums goers seem to be implying. I did not know I was invoking a popularity contest:P

 

Perhaps it would be better if one did not echo the sentiments of others, but let them speak for themselves. After all, the point is that they wish to be heard and recognized.

Sorry, maybe you missed the whole topic about everyone crying about not being popular, it was brought up that post count should be hidden to make everyone feel equal. So my response, was actually stating what they themselves was discussing8-)

Twas not missed. Unfortunately, you've begun to contradict yourself and it might be time to step away from these topics awhile. As plainly written in black and white above, you first are echoing what new forum goers seem to be implying and now are "actually stating what they themselves was discussing." which is it?

 

In this specific thread, YOU brought up post count. Presumably echoing for a nebulous unheard mass that you may or may not be championing because WE were discussing popularity, cliques, and positivity not post counts and reputations until you and I began this sequence of posts. 

 

If you would like to discuss this further away from a thread that isn't about you and your post count theory, I will gladly do so. I am still requesting that you stop being someone else's loudspeaker though. At this point, it is becoming inappropriate and detrimental to multiple threads now. I am not a mod, nor do I have any sort of power to stop you but as a concerned citizen. Kindly shut up and let these newcomers speak for themselves for awhile. I don't even know who has a problem at this point, because all I see is you, Casden, typing "PEOPLE SAY THIS IS THE PROBLEM." over and over again.

As cooly and calmly as I can reply to this without anyone getting hostile, I used the word imply, as in they are implying that post count matter. I do not agree that post count SHOULD matter, hence why I use the phrase "they imply" I did not mean that I THINK they are implying it. It was clearly already discussed.

 

As far as this post count subject being brought up, someone brought it up, before I even did. I simply replied. If there is some sort of problem that cause with you, well sorry I guess. Other than that, I don't know what else can be said between us.

 

Maybe I wrote something out improper, maybe you misread, I don't care.

No hard feelings, no grudges, just difference in opinions and am willing to drop it.

 

I do however, respectfully decline on being told to shut up.

[Branson Thorne]

To be honest, most of the "cliques" I can think of are more... FC centered?

 

Perhaps maybe even plot-centered?

 

I really don't know what the cliques are in this game ><;

That's because I don't think there is much of one. At least not on the level that people keep stating. I view at more as a collection of friends. Much like real life, you center towards your friends. Nothing wrong with that.

[ArmachiA]

Okay, to start:

 

I understand the annoyance with being seen as popular. While I'm not here on the RPC, I am seem by some people in my guild and the outside guilds we rp with as the "Center" of it. I've had people state behind my back they were jealous and HATED me simply because I was popular and talkative. I've had some state they were going to take my position as "Center" away from me because I was undeserving. To be frank, I was - and still am - uncomfortable with the label. About a year ago I even pulled my character out of rp for two months because I didn't like the insinuation, but it persisted and still persists regardless of what I do. I am extremely talkative, I like to help people accomplish things in FFXIV and tend to try to rally people together, and the fact that demonized me somehow never sat well with me. It still doesn't.

 

BUT

I don't think stating someone is popular automatically demonizes them. The idea of being labeled as "Popular" and it being taken as an insult it really strange to me. It reminds me a lot of when I ended up meeting a few rich people in my life, if you pointed out they were rich - they actually got insulted. Don't point it out, don't talk about the fact they have money. Just saying it demonized the fact they were rich in their eyes - even though it was just true. It was just a thing that was. People with status are uncomfortable admitting that status, sure, but it doesn't make it less true (Also most people who have money will immediately argue that they in fact don't have money and/or use the argument of "I worked hard for this!" which rings strikingly familiar).

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with the label. Let me repeat that: There is nothing wrong with being labeled popular. Nothing. Popular people are going to exist in ANY community. Youtube? Pewdiepie. Imgur? Kylecorn. Something Awful? Lowtax. Little Old Jplop forums I've mentioned before? Starra.

 

It happens. It's not exclusive to FFXIV RP. Communities form and faces stand out in the crowd from them. This is not bad. If you get labeled as a popular - own it. The community has deemed you one, fighting against it isn't going to change anything. But, also understand what it means.

 

On the "Popular" side:

I think if someone comes in and says "I'm having trouble finding RP, here's what I've tried." and someone they know has no trouble with it NOW comes in and says, "Just try harder." - even with it being good advice - can be demoralizing. In their mind it's like: They are trying harder! How dare someone who has no trouble finding rp tell them they aren't trying hard.

 

Is this fair? Not really, but that is what's going to happen. They are going to get frustrated at you for holding your 100 dollar bills in your hand while you proclaim they just need to work harder to pay their bills. It's going to be frustrating. For both sides. To them you aren't giving meaningful advice, to you, you're giving advice that you tried - working hard. In their mind, they probably are working hard and your making a snap judgement about their work ethic. Popular people, as deemed by the community, are speaking from a place that other people strive to be at. They are looking AT YOU and seeing where YOU ARE as they're end goal. Because of that, you are perceived differently.

 

The best thing I got here is just to be understanding of that privilege. There are so many people so want to be in your shoes. Being understanding of that - that you are in a place others strive to be - can go a long way.

 

To the "Unpopulars":

Look, same thing as above: Snap Judgements are bad. Don't make them. If you are running around saying all popular people do is rp with the other popular people and you can't seem to squeeze into that because they all wear pink on Wednesdays, you're doing EXACTLY what you hate them doing: Making judgements about the state of someone's RP ethic.

 

The fact of the matter is, you don't know who RPs with whom unless you ask them directly. And, this is very important, while they may be popular on this forum, this forum is NOT the game. Things work a little different on the game. For example: I don't think I've ran into like 95% of the RPC. Ever. Most of the names I know and like I've never seen in game since launch. Most of the people I'd like to rp with on this forum I have NEVER caught online.

 

Do I assume that when I'm offline they are rping with each other and not inviting me to the barbie party? Nah. Shockingly, schedules vary wildly around here and there's a BETTER chance they AREN'T rping with each other then that they ARE. However, if your kind of insecure about it (Which is okay, don't think it's not okay to find people intimidating. It's natural to do so, but also try to take a step back from that emotion and realize while - yes some are gonna be dicks - most are going to be pleasant - there is a reason why they are popular and it's probably not because they are asshats) you can ask people what LS's they are in. Linkshells are a good way to gauge people's RP circles, or at the very least wannabe RP circles, and you can ask to see if their LS is open to the public. An easy, noninvasive way to try to get in with a group of your choosing.

 

Do I believe some people are going to be dicks about their so-called status? Yes. And if this has happened to you, there are avenues you can go (Tumblr) to tell your story. Do I believe this is always happening? No. And you shouldn't either.

 

 

Now that I've said all this, I'm pretty sure everyone is just going to see this as me demonizing popular people, but really I can see both sides. I can see flaws in both sides' argument.

[Kage]

I think what has happened is something I want to make a (bad) analogy of.

 

When the "populars" or people who do have the RPs tell newer/other RPers that perhaps they aren't putting themselves out there as much, it's because that's what they did do. In a case of 'what did you do to get yourself there?' it's because these characters and their players were working it. Many of them did fail but they worked it. So that's all they can say, because that is what their experience -is-.

 

So my bad analogy is that... perhaps it's become a case of old-timers telling people "when i wanted to go to a good college I didn't go into debt! I worked my butt off during summer to get my diploma!" Unfortunately now, it's not that way anymore.

[Dravus]

I'm just going to go ahead and say something that I feel is very relevant but is pretty much echoing what has been said already. Whilst there is nothing wrong with being in a 'clique' or being 'popular' there is a genuine risk of that leading to some people becoming very out of touch with how a situation is for other people.

 

I led two guilds back when I role-played in WoW and played on a rather close knit server for years so I'm comfortable suggesting that popularity is a double edged sword and very much a case of being both a blessing and a curse.

 

Not everybody knew me but more than one individual came forward and claimed they were surprised how nice I was because they'd heard nasty rumours about me or they thought I was more intimidating than I actually am.

 

I was also called out more than once for being out of touch and I took steps to remedy that by being more open and friendly.

 

Just like in the real world an online community can change rather abruptly. What worked for some people in the 'early days' might not work for other people in the present day. Sharing advice is great but in some cases it can come across as demeaning.

 

If somebody makes a genuine effort to find role-play or get involved with stuff and they're repeatedly told to 'try harder' then it shouldn't be difficult to work out why they risk becoming frustrated.

 

I do think certain recent threads have helped get the ball rolling in terms of making people take a step back and reconsider their stance on such matters so I'm very pleased with that. I've already had an increase in the amount of people contacting me over PM's so I'm happy to consider it something other than a coincidence.

 

As an aside, as someone who threw the 'clique' and 'popular' tags around in the past I didn't mean it as something that's always negative. So I'll happily apologise if people saw it that way!

 

After all, role-play is just a hobby that I enjoy. It's not something I lose any sleep over. I just enjoy solving problems and having a solid debate. Forum posting is therapeutically satisfying for me.

[Dasair]

Only slightly off the current topic of 'popularity vs. new people getting RP', since this isn't really about people getting RP.

 

But in terms of who might be considered 'popular', I think it boils down not so much to the actual numbers themselves (post count, rep, etc.), but how recognizable someone is on the RPC specifically.

 

I was trying to figure out who it was I considered 'popular' here, and why the reasons for that were, and.. it wasn't so much that I'd seen any of those people in game. It wasn't because they impacted me negatively (in a number of cases I find them really neat, and would certainly like to try RPing with them at a time I'm not crazy busy IRL, though other cases less so, so that wasn't really a factor), or because of the amount of RP they get, because I don't even know how much RP they get, given never seeing them IG... but because I recognized them from a lot of different threads.

 

They are people who post frequently that people reply to, who can shift discussions and have others react, and who I remember seeing in enough other places on the forums to get an idea of their 'personality' from what they say. That's in no means to claim that I really know any of them. But I've made some connections about them based on their posts in various places that may or may not be the case. I feel like I have a sense of at least one part of their personality. And some people I considered 'popular' had much lower post counts than others, it was just a matter of personal recognition, actual activity, and probably chance; the topics I look at happen to have these people posting in them. I'm sure if I looked at different topics, my perception would be completely different.

 

That said, I figure those who are considered 'popular' vary from person to person. I also figure it isn't bad either, they are the ones who seem to have their hands in the community the most. That, or make a number of memorable posts, and then continue on to make more.

 

So for those worrying about it... I mean, I'm sure this can be taken both ways. It could be taken positively, that you've really made a difference, or that people pay attention to what you're saying for one reason or another, but that could also be disconcerting if you don't like that kind of attention. I suppose it's mostly just something about you, for whatever reason, has made you stand out and be recognized.

 

Just in hopes to clear up the 'I don't want to be popular' / 'am I popular?' thing. At least that's how it works for me.

 

--

 

And I suppose a bit on the 'getting rp vs. not' bit, it might be the perception that, because these folks are recognizable, and seem to get any number of reactions from other people, that obviously they must be just as 'successful' in game. .... When it really isn't like that at all. Or at least, not necessarily like that. I think there's a distinct difference in many cases in terms of the RPC and in terms of IG-RPing, and while some of the same people might be RPing a good amount, sometimes people just assume that all of them are, when it really is unlikely to be that way at all.

 

The sheer distinction that I can identify people I personally consider subjectively 'popular' on the RPC vs. having not once seen them in-game, and have no idea how much they RP, attests to this.

[OttoVann]

Im willing to be popular so that others may rest.

 

Otto #1, vote for Otto, President of the RPC 2015

 

You know, I'd need a First Lady.

[Gegenji]

Im willing to be popular so that others may rest.

 

Otto #1, vote for Otto, President of the RPC 2015

 

You know, I'd need a First Lady.

 

Dibs.

[Aya]

Dasair, I think you're entirely correct.  What people are mis-attributing to popularity is actually just recognizability on the forum.  The idea that there's some division, some difference between how those who are recognized from the forum find and conduct RP, and those who are new or less recognized, is just plain wrong.  There's an entire portfolio of myth and projection that gets repeated over and over again about this very topic: my suggestion is just realizing that everyone you interact with in this community is just like you, faces many of the same struggles and has many of the same concerns and desires in terms of finding and enjoying RP.

[Askier]

 

BUT

I don't think stating someone is popular automatically demonizes them. The idea of being labeled as "Popular" and it being taken as an insult it really strange to me. It reminds me a lot of when I ended up meeting a few rich people in my life, if you pointed out they were rich - they actually got insulted. Don't point it out, don't talk about the fact they have money. Just saying it demonized the fact they were rich in their eyes - even though it was just true. It was just a thing that was. People with status are uncomfortable admitting that status, sure, but it doesn't make it less true (Also most people who have money will immediately argue that they in fact don't have money and/or use the argument of "I worked hard for this!" which rings strikingly familiar).

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with the label. Let me repeat that: There is nothing wrong with being labeled popular. Nothing. Popular people are going to exist in ANY community. Youtube? Pewdiepie. Imgur? Kylecorn. Something Awful? Lowtax. Little Old Jplop forums I've mentioned before? Starra.

 

It happens. It's not exclusive to FFXIV RP. Communities form and faces stand out in the crowd from them. This is not bad. If you get labeled as a popular - own it. The community has deemed you one, fighting against it isn't going to change anything. But, also understand what it means.

 

OOOO! I gonna try to play devil's advocate!  Though I agree with what you said.

 

 

Let's see....

 

What if a popular person does something you don't agree with could happen?

 

For example, if someone popular role plays over the course of a month or two that they have become immune to tempering by Primals or that Dragons attacked Ul'dah with bombs or something and a bunch of other people role with it( a clique if you will), but a few other role players don't feel it's a valid idea, who is right?  How does the community handle this? The popular person did work hard to develop said story. Does their opinion supersede the small group since they have more people backing them up because they are popular, and thus we have mob rule; or does the lore back up the little group and the popular guy has to change their character for the smaller group that is voicing their opinion?  Or do they simply not role play with another, ever?

 

Don't get me wrong, Reputation and Popularity are great, especially when earned for all the right reasons.  Example, I think Warren, Zhavi, and Aya are awesome role players but I really only know them by their positive reputations on here. And sure, some people get an infamous reputation. But is it justified for people without a large footprint in the community to be nervous about how much authority one person my be exerting over a said community and if someone is doing that, how do those without as much sway over the public forum combat this occurrence?

 

Just a fun food for thought.

[ArmachiA]

The answer is easy: They're both right.

 

You're going to find, despite people being popular, if someone decided to change the status quo - regardless of THEIR OWN STATUS - people are going to have opinions. I can use the Poisoning of Ul'dah event as a huge example of this.. Those who were a part of it didn't see it as a big deal and thought it was just for fun, while those on the outside thought it was too much power for one group to have. (For the sake of clarity: I was completely against it)

 

You notice, despite a lot of people from that group being considered "Popular" people still argued against it. People came in, said they were against or for it and went on their way. There was discussion. There was debate. And it was fine. Debate and Discussion is healthy. Disagreements are par for the course.

 

At the end of the day though, those in that plotline could have sat down and just decided to ignore the criticisms. That is a perfectly viable option. They, as you know since you were the main contributor, came in and clarified the position. Saying not all the water was poisoned, just a small section and the bad guys were caught before any damage was done. This calmed a lot of the naysayers - though the thread eventually spawned another thread about how much power one group should have (Which was an interesting thread and had a ton of different opinions).

 

This is a good example. They were called out and they could have very well just rped it in a bubble, but they chose to work with the community instead. Both options were fine, though.

 

Despite popularity, there is one thing I think we all can agree on - no one is going to agree with anyone 100% of the time, but that makes neither side wrong or right. Opinion is stronger than status in these circles. There's no real power here except the power of the majority. And sometimes, even the majority is against that which the popular people do. The court of public opinion is always stronger than post count and reputation points. Does that mean a group is wrong for trying to say Ul'dah was bombed? Absolutely not. They certainly can say that and they are allowed to RP it. Are other rpers allowed to think they are completely crazy and nothing happened to Ul'dah? YUuuuppp.

 

The answer is, they are both right. Neither answer is technically wrong. The opinion you have personally is what makes it wrong or right, and that's going to vary regardless of status.

[Melkire]

I'm just going to step in to note that, in the case that ArmachiA is referring to, many of the complaints and much of the debate over one particular aspect of Blood on the Sands (the event had a name, and I'll kindly thank you to use it) came from detractors who were not participating in said event and could have easily ignored and/or disregarded it IC and/or OoC and gone happily on their way.

 

A public event does not mean that it has to be a canon event for everyone, everywhere. A public event simply means that it is open for everyone to sign up for and participate in should they so choose.

[Verad]

I was also called out more than once for being out of touch and I took steps to remedy that by being more open and friendly.

 

Just like in the real world an online community can change rather abruptly. What worked for some people in the 'early days' might not work for other people in the present day. Sharing advice is great but in some cases it can come across as demeaning.

 

Could you provide a more concrete example of this as regards how old methods of finding roleplay don't work with a new population? This seems very abstract as it is.

[ArmachiA]

I'm just going to step in to note that, in the case that ArmachiA is referring to, many of the complaints and much of the debate over one particular aspect of Blood on the Sands (the event had a name, and I'll kindly thank you to use it) came from detractors who were not participating in said event and could have easily ignored and/or disregarded it IC and/or OoC and gone happily on their way.

 

A public event does not mean that it has to be a canon event for everyone, everywhere. A public event simply means that it is open for everyone to sign up for and participate in should they so choose.

 

But I don't agree that means people weren't allowed to talk about it and criticize the decisions made because of it. That's a perfectly fine thing to do. Once something goes public, the public is going to have an opinion. Some people think Wuthering Heights is a great book, some think it's trash and a lot of people formed their opinions and didn't even read the book. It's okay to talk about things in a public space! People saying they don't agree with the choices another group has made doesn't mean that group should stop everything they are doing. It's discussion, which is what these forums are for. If that group chooses, they can take the criticisms and strive to alleviate worries OR they can ignore it completely.

 

BUt talking about it, criticizing it, is not inherently wrong. Even if you aren't a part of it. I didn't write My Humps, but I can't tell you I hate that song. I didn't cook stuffed peppers, but I can tell you I dislike them, especially when it's brought up in a public space. It's what forums are for.

 

You yourself have criticized Erik's idea for the RP FC meet. Even though you don't have to be a part of it and you could have ignored it completely. It's okay that you do! That's what this is about, this forum thing

[Aduu Avagnar]

I wouldn't say I was popular, nor do I truly interact much with the people who may be considered popular.

 

I bump into some of them at the Grindstone, or may have a scene here and there, but in all honesty, I'm just a person whose out and about and doesn't really do much?

 

in fact, probably the most interaction I've had with a 'popular' person are my tells to Warren every now and then when we have a bit of a laugh.....

 

but I will say Cliques happen, and will continue to happen, because of basic human thought process.

 

We like to make tribes. Us vs Them mentality. who supports a football team? thats a Clique. Who is proud of their city or their Nationality? thats a Clique.

 

stop deamonising them, and remember, as has been said before, they are not bad, and it is only when they are being used to try and manouvere some sort of advantage of 'I'm in this clique therefore I am more important than you' attitude that they become bad. Which is something I've /never/ seen here.

[Melkire]

But I don't agree that means people weren't allowed to talk about it and criticize the decisions made because of it. That's a perfectly fine thing to do. Once something goes public, the public is going to have an opinion. Some people think Wuthering Heights is a great book, some think it's trash and a lot of people formed their opinions and didn't even read the book. It's okay to talk about things in a public space! People saying they don't agree with the choices another group has made doesn't mean that group should stop everything they are doing. It's discussion, which is what these forums are for. If that group chooses, they can take the criticisms and strive to alleviate worries OR they can ignore it completely.

 

BUt talking about it, criticizing it, is not inherently wrong. Even if you aren't a part of it. I didn't write My Humps, but I can't tell you I hate that song. I didn't cook stuffed peppers, but I can tell you I dislike them, especially when it's brought up in a public space. It's what forums are for.

 

It crosses a line when the folks responsible for such works start getting undue heat for them, which is what happened and is still happening. That event was so much more than "poisoning Ul'dah" and yet that's all that folks choose to remember it for. I could name so many more plotlines - public, private, or otherwise - that folks have run that are just as if not more objectionable... but you don't see me constantly harping back to those and fixating on their negative points. That would be hurtful and disrespectful, IMO.

 

To unironically quote Chris Crocker, "leave Britney alone."

 

 

EDIT: I chose to constructively critique the presentation of an otherwise sound and great concept for community-building. I haven't brought it up since because I'm aware that folks were hurt by its reception and it would be disrespectful of me to bring it up again.

[ArmachiA]

I'm not even being critical about it, at all. I'm stating what happened here as a forum. I'm not talking about the Blood on the Sands event as a WHOLE, I'm specifically referring to the Poisoning of Ul'dah incident, because it was a good example of what Red Coat Cat was talking about. He asked and there was precedence for my answer, since that EXACT scenario already happened. You noticed I didn't bring it up Willy Nilly it was in reference to a question he asked that I can actually sight an example for since it was seen on this very forum. In no way did I paint it negatively, I even stated it was clarified LATER and people were happy with the clarification though it spawned a different thread all together.

 

You are reading into something that isn't here.

[Zhavi]

To echo Dasair, to me, it's just about how distinctive people are. If you post something that catches my attention, or post in a way that catches my attention, I'll notice you. And then, when you post, prior experience has taught me that I'll enjoy reading (or, as is sometimes the case, it's something that is provocative in some way, or interesting, or something I can argue with) what you have to say, so I'll read it closely.

 

People who are distinctive stand out, so people tend to respond directly to them. More and more interaction equals forming connections.

 

Once those connections are formed -- especially if they're cultivated and the person is actively reaching out -- there's an appearance of someone who is active and surrounded by lots of people and it's happy and magical.

 

And I think there's a lot to be said about what you do about your reaction to that, and how you temper your reactions and how you observe yourself.

 

*shrug* After WoW, and a guild I became a leader in, and devoted almost all of my free time to, and burned out really hard on -- I decided I was going to come to FFXIV and be a lone wolf. And that is exactly what I've done. Nearly all of my contacts are ooc-rp; there are very very few who I've told personal stories to, and of those it's because I was actively rping with them and then suddenly stopped because of ooc circumstances (which I later divulged on because of a thread), and I felt I owed them an explanation, because I liked them as people.

 

I dunno. I'm not a social butterfly. I'm an introvert, and too much social reaction will eventually burn me out. I can be super shy, I'm afraid of rejection -- but to me, you do have to do certain things in certain ways to build (and I use that word very deliberately) what you want to have.

 

There's utterly no point in me looking at someone who seems to have an effortless time at something and thinking 'why can't it be like that for me?' (especially because what we perceive can so often be dead wrong)

 

I have to work hard to get what I get. I think most people do.

 

That's okay.

[Shizuno]

Having read through the thread so far to make sure no one has said this yet, I wanted to get this idea out there.

 

While I don't think popularity and cliques are a bad thing - people have a group of friends they socialize with, who knew!? - they DO have an effect, for sure. Though, truthfully, cliques only get bad when they start policing those around them, but that was said already.

 

My point, though, stems more from the perceived popularity thing. While I don't hate on those who are seen as popular here since I do respect them for the effort they put in, there is a stigma there that has me shy away from RPing with them. And it's really quite a simple, and in my mind, accurate thing: 

 

"Oh, I bet they don't have time for me."

 

Let's all be honest. It's been said in a number of these threads that people that are involved in RP don't have the time of day to spend RPing with everyone who wants to RP with them. THAT is, in fact, part of the stigma that the "popular" group carries - and anyone who RPs regularly, whether popular or not, and has a group of friends they regularly go to for RP - will tell you that they don't always have time for more people.

 

I'm not popular on here. Never have been, because I lurk too much, and occasionally enjoy reading the lore threads. That said, I already basically have access to as much RP as I could handle without really making many connections here. Now, this is obviously not about people finding RP, but rather, what popularity brings.

 

I don't think people who are popular should be on the receiving end of hate from people who can't find RP. But making the the (illogical) jump from "Oh, they probably don't have the time for me" to "They're excluding me!" is probably something that happens more than it ought to.

 

Quick tl;dr

 

• "Popular" people really don't deserve the hate they receive
  
• "Popularity" lends to a "You probably don't have time for little ol' me" types of mentality
  
• Time available really is a legitimate constraint that people should be conscious of.
  

 

Thanks guys

Just food for thought.

[Zhavi]

Having read through the thread so far to make sure no one has said this yet, I wanted to get this idea out there.

 

While I don't think popularity and cliques are a bad thing - people have a group of friends they socialize with, who knew!? - they DO have an effect, for sure. Though, truthfully, cliques only get bad when they start policing those around them, but that was said already.

 

My point, though, stems more from the perceived popularity thing. While I don't hate on those who are seen as popular here since I do respect them for the effort they put in, there is a stigma there that has me shy away from RPing with them. And it's really quite a simple, and in my mind, accurate thing: 

 

"Oh, I bet they don't have time for me."

 

Let's all be honest. It's been said in a number of these threads that people that are involved in RP don't have the time of day to spend RPing with everyone who wants to RP with them. THAT is, in fact, part of the stigma that the "popular" group carries - and anyone who RPs regularly, whether popular or not, and has a group of friends they regularly go to for RP - will tell you that they don't always have time for more people.

 

I'm not popular on here. Never have been, because I lurk too much, and occasionally enjoy reading the lore threads. That said, I already basically have access to as much RP as I could handle without really making many connections here. Now, this is obviously not about people finding RP, but rather, what popularity brings.

 

I don't think people who are popular should be on the receiving end of hate from people who can't find RP. But making the the (illogical) jump from "Oh, they probably don't have the time for me" to "They're excluding me!" is probably something that happens more than it ought to.

 

Quick tl;dr

 

• "Popular" people really don't deserve the hate they receive
  
• "Popularity" lends to a "You probably don't have time for little ol' me" types of mentality
  
• Time available really is a legitimate constraint that people should be conscious of.
  

 

Thanks guys

Just food for thought.

 

You have a point, except for one flaw:

 

Just send a nice, polite, non-pressure request to someone you want to rp with. If you think they are busy, give them an easy out.

 

"Hey, I really admire you for [insert praise about character/writing/attitude/whatever], and would like to rp with you. However, I think you might be really busy, so I totally understand if you don't have time! If you don't, absolutely no pressure and maybe I'll catch up with you in a month or so to see if you have more time. If you do and wouldn't mind rping with me, I'd like to see when would be most convenient for the both of us. Have a good one!"