Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE!

[Berrod Armstrong]

*The poster is both glued on with Void-grade Glue and messily hammered in place....*

 

[align=center]Awaken the Power in you!

 

[/align]

 

OOC: Please note, the IC artist manages to somehow post this without anyone noticing.... OOCly, im having a blast....

 

The group of retainers stood around the table, dressed in various sets of mismatched armor and field wares. They were highlanders, all of them -- six in total. Snorts and snickers rose from where they had gathered in no small amount of volume -- in fact, one of them was practically whining as he tried not to simply burst out into roaring laughter. 

 

"Do you think he knows this thing exists?"

 

"Probably not, we'd have heard about the murder from the Goblet's newscaller."

 

"What are those things, even?"

 

"I don't know, but me belly hurts -- Gods be good...only a tick before me knees give out...mercy, look at this mess..."

 

"I kind of like it,  it makes him look less threatening."

 

"It makes 'im look like a bloody loon, that's wot it does."

 

A seventh voice joined the rest. "Who's a loon?"

 

Berrod Armstrong himself stood at the doorway to the company's private chamber hall; he'd just exited it for the morning. The Highlander was crisply dressed in standard adventuring wear, from the white pants and shirt to the black boots. His hair had been neatly combed and pulled back into a tail, and the red scruff along his jaw had been rather tidily marked and trimmed. There was almost no sign of the injuries he had sustained recently, save for the last remnant of a bruise upon his large bicep. 

 

His appearance alone had alarmed the six young men into a scramble that somehow resulted in a bulwark of Highlanders before the table. Whatever they had been looking at was completely blocked out from view by sturdy bodies. Naturally, that only served to pique the red-head's interest. "...what's goin' on?"

 

"Nothin', bossman!" Barked Geffrid Garr. The dark skinned, tall Highlander was known for his love for fishing -- a love that saw him with many ventures in the field. "'How's yer health?"

 

"Health's fine, Geff -- now c'mon, what's that y'all got over there?" Undeterred, Berrod strode forward with intent to breach the throng. However, the short, bronze skinned fellow on the leftmost edge of the hyuran wall pitched sideways with a cry of pain.

 

"AUGH! ME GALLBLADDER! CALL A CHIURGEON!"

 

When he hit the floor, Berrod recoiled in alarm, then immediately rushed to the fallen man to inspect him -- not that he had the slightest idea of what a gallbladder -was-. "Burbrand! Burbrand, ey...! C'mon, we'll get ya into the infirmary..."

 

The diversion provided a ripe opportunity for the other five men to do away with the object that had drawn their scrutiny. It was unfortunate then, that Burbrand's brilliance in the face of hopelessness was countered by the absolute asininity of the large miner Doff Lake. The shaved-headed, dark behemoth of a highlander gathered up the rather colorful poster from the table as fast as he could, and made a terrifyingly effective task of cramming it into his mouth. By the time Berrod had turned to the rest of them to seek their aid, he was chewing it up -- the retainer held every appearance of an overly ambitious nutkin. 

 

"...Doff, man -- now's not the time, Burbrand's hurt an' --"

 

"CONJURY!" 

 

The shriek came from Bolieron, a blond -- and somewhat slighter than usual young fellow, also dressed in miner's apparel. He sprung to Burbrand's side and jammed a hand onto his gut that elicited a very genuine howl of agony from the otherwise pretending retainer. "There, he's healed!"

 

"It's a miracle!"

 

"Bloody providence!"

 

Both Bolieron and Burbrand pelted to their feet at once, to join the other four who had already headed for the front door at the clever lead of the ever scheming Pugilist retainer Darovic. He pushed it open and allowed the positive explosion of mankind from the Agent Headquarters. All Berrod could do was approach the door frame and set eyes on their fleeing backs. He suffered no shortage of bewilderment.

 

"What in the hells...?"

[GloryRhodes]

[align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]PLAYING WITH THE BOYS?[/align]

[align=center]THE GREASE LUBES YOU UP![/align]

[align=center]TAKE A POUNDING![/align]

[align=center]WITH BRONCO GREASE![/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

[/align]

[Oscare]

*The poster is both glued on with Void-grade Glue and messily hammered in place....*

 

[align=center]Awaken the Power in you!

 

[/align]

 

OOC: Please note, the IC artist manages to somehow post this without anyone noticing.... OOCly, im having a blast....

 

[align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]PLAYING WITH THE BOYS?[/align]

[align=center]THE GREASE LUBES YOU UP![/align]

[align=center]TAKE A POUNDING![/align]

[align=center]WITH BRONCO GREASE![/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

[/align]

 

Oscare merely deadpans.

"A-Aeron...?" He bits down on his lip. The midlander being up on the board with the rest of the Bronco ads came as a huge shock. Instinctively -- yes -- INSTINCTIVELY, snatched a poster and neatly folds it, stashing it into his belt with the rest of his posters.

 

"I'm totally giving him hell for this o---" Oscare looked sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly up from that ad to find...

[DeletedUser]

[align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]PLAYING WITH THE BOYS?[/align]

[align=center]THE GREASE LUBES YOU UP![/align]

[align=center]TAKE A POUNDING![/align]

[align=center]WITH BRONCO GREASE![/align]

 

Inarah chances past the poster and does a double take. Her gaze travels over the advertisement for a few moments, until she snorts out a laugh and shakes her head. "Blimey Aeron, what ye got yerself int' this time," she mumbles under her breath as she walks away.

[Chinua Dotharl]

*the Auri girl walks down with a bag filled with groceries noticing the poster, she stops for a peek, her face changes to that of one whos world has just collapsed*I-i did´t know Aeron liked it up the butt..

[Xivrez'to]

Xiv stands looking at the poster for a long time before bursting out laughing, "This is even funner than the fact he got beaten by a maid. Now I have to get a crate of that stuff!"

[Nirri]

Aeron leaned back in the chair with his cheek resting in the palm of his hand, a few men and women all dressed in fine silks and expensive jewelry sat around the large table covered in papers and coin as the heavy doors were pushed open. 

 

"Ser Volkova, sorry for the intrusion but you have to see this." The man not much older then Aeron voiced as he walked along a row of merchants before handing over the flyer/poster.

 

Aeron moved one of his hands up to rest it across his face with a soft chuckle, 

 

"Thanks for alerting me, Merek. Next time I find myself bored don't let me pose again for something like this. Either way as much people will assume, let them. Also call over that one merchant who's into men. Perhaps now he might be more willing to work alongside us and if still not, we'll just take his business from him as it's needed for this Mor Dhonan deal. Might aswell turn this into something good."

[Oscare]

*The poster is both glued on with Void-grade Glue and messily hammered in place....*

 

[align=center]Awaken the Power in you!

 

[/align]

 

OOC: Please note, the IC artist manages to somehow post this without anyone noticing.... OOCly, im having a blast....

 

"Why." Oscare just stares blankly at the Bronco Ranger poster. "I hope he at least had a high ransom in return for this. Or else I'm going to make fun of him for life," Oscare steals the poster off wooden bulletin board and stomps away, stashing it in the seemingly Never-Ending Belt.

[CalebAgron]

*The poster is both glued on with Void-grade Glue and messily hammered in place....*

 

[align=center]Awaken the Power in you!

 

[/align]

 

OOC: Please note, the IC artist manages to somehow post this without anyone noticing.... OOCly, im having a blast....

 

Caleb was on his way home when a rather colorful poster grabbed his attention. It was a quick glance at first, then a double take once it sunk in that the man on the cover looked familiar. Slowly but surely his mouth dropped and sat hung open as he stared in disbelief.

 

He stood there for a few minutes trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing, had he willingly put his face on this product? Was this some sort of joke? The poor bastard who did this should Berrod find out about the poster!

 

A grin formed on his lips despite all efforts to not find it humorous, his partner did look a little insane. Then a sigh left him as he continued on his way home, should he tell Berrod?

[GloryRhodes]

[align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]YOU DON'T NEED A BEARD[/align]

[align=center]WHEN YOU'RE WITH A BEAR[/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

[/align]

[Kellach Woods]

These Bronco Grease advertisements were starting to flood Ul'dah with hot bodies, each hotter than the desert sun, and while it certainly had its effects on the fellow in yellow, Kellach had more practical questions in mind than the eligibility of the people on the posters, or whether he should steal one as fodder for when he's "greasing his bronco", so to speak.

 

He wondered aloud as to the product's purpose as it never seemed clear. Was he expected to obtain a bronco then grease it? He doubted Phantom would allow grease upon his feathers. They also mention it's a tonic, but at the same time, why call a tonic a grease? Why not Bronco Tonic? He scratched the back of his head staring at the War Bear poster before a passage from his brother's correspondence, more specifically a portion of the history of the Isle of Toegisil as written by Einrich, appeared in his mind.

 

"the Bear tribe used duels to establish hierarchy within the tribe and were often used as a means to learn more about their own bare-fisted art. They would perform a ritual where they oiled themselves up, offering themselves to Earth and Fire."

 

He smiled as he finally realized the purpose of this tonic. As soon as he'd be ready to learn the Bear's art, he'd certainly pick some up! What an interesting product!

[-no longer matters-]

[align=center]BRONCO GREASE[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]YOU DON'T NEED A BEARD[/align]

[align=center]WHEN YOU'RE WITH A BEAR[/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

[/align]

 

*Looks at the poster and smiles* 

 

"Haha, well that's one way ta get yer name out there.  I shoulda told 'em ta put my contact info on there, maybe this would've netted me a few new jobs." 

 

*the massive hellsguard shrugs as he goes through the rest of the posters Bear takes one of his own home for his scrap book. then he comes to Aya's poster and his eyes grows wide as a bead of sweat forms on his brow and he does a huge gulp. he looks both ways and gently slides one in his pack making sure it's supported and not bent. He then walks away whistling.*

[Rufus Wightman]

Rufus stares blankly at one of the posters - particularly the one with the image of his colleague, Aeron, emblazoned on it, for several moments before finally moving his lips to speak, his tone one of mild astonishment and disturbance.

 

"By the Twelve... -this- is what they were talking about back then? What in the name of all that is reasonable was he thinking when he signed up for this? It's not as though he's hard-off for coin... -wait, what does this...? 'When someone gets me in a tight spot, Bronco always loosens me up'...?"

 

A light shudder rolls down the midlander's back, before he quietly and quickly shifting on his heels to face the other direction, calmly but briskly fleeing from the vicinity of the poster, the image burned into his mind's eyes forever more.