Question about meeting new people and walk-up RP

[Havoc Snow]

So I'll just start this by saying that, admittedly, I have always sucked when it came to deal with new people. I have something of an abrasive and stubborn demeanor that can take a bit of getting used to. Because of this I deal with a bit of anxiety when it comes with meeting new people, so I've primarily stuck with RPing in a very small group of people only on occasion. This has worked out for me for the most part because it means there's never any conflict in story or anything like that. 

 

Lately however, especially with the approach of the new expansion, I've found myself wanting to branch out, meet new people and become a bit more involved in the RP community as a whole. I volunteered to work as a priest at the Starlight Ball and met a few folks, which was fun but sadly it wasn't lasting. I tend to wander around a lot ICly, just walking between the cities, hanging out in the adventurer's guilds, and just sort of people watching but never really sure how to get myself involved.

 

That brings us to the topic of this thread, I'm seeking advice on how to meet new people, how to get involved in walk ups, or attract them. I guess that's pretty much it, any advice is welcome.

[Faye]

A positive attitude is the most important thing in attracting others. An abrasive and stubborn demeanor will do you no good.

[Ciel]

Well, there's the usual haunts like the Quicksand.  I can't guarantee there is always consistent quality to be found there, but there's almost always some RP going on.

 

Otherwise, look for some other RPCer's in game, throw them a /tell and see if they're open to a walk-up.  It always pays to examine a person you're curious about, too, and look at their search comment.  If they're an RPer, it will usually say as much, and sometimes give clues as to RP styles.  There are also a ton of RPers who aren't active or registered on RPC, too, so it's worth looking at those search comments.

[Boo the Hamster]

Honestly?  Just show up.  If you're nervous about people not wanting to have you in their RP for whatever reason if they're out and about, send a tell and see what they say.  Most people I know of are alright with a newcomer being with them.

[Havoc Snow]

A positive attitude is the most important thing in attracting others. An abrasive and stubborn demeanor will do you no good.

That I'm afraid I can't really help, it's just how I am. I lack a filter between my brain and my mouth, so what I think is what I say regardless of social taboos or etiquette. Trust me, if I could change it I would.

[NeonSears]

I'm honestly somewhat the same way, If I'm not with people I know, I usually just sit there and watch. It isn't that I don't like the people, its just I feel like I wouldnt talk in the same manner that they do.

[Savarah]

I'm also really terrible with new folks. Not because I'm abrasive (though I certainly can be), but simply because I'm shy around people I don't know and I was never a fan of super shallow tavern style RP that doesn't -go- anywhere.

 

I totally agree with trying to hook up with folks from the RPC, and definitely search through people search comments when you examine them. If you're not sure, just send a /tell first.

 

That being said, I'm more than open to expanding my horizons if you need to plan out a meeting ahead of time with a new person. Sav likes friends. ^^

[Havoc Snow]

I spend a lot of time just sort of sitting and reading RP, though it never feels... organic (?) to just walk up and try to join in, or maybe I just feel like it would be rude and even asking sometimes feels like an imposition. I also kinda feel weird examining people sometimes cause it makes me feel like a creeper.

[Savarah]

I spend a lot of time just sort of sitting and reading RP, though it never feels... organic (?) to just walk up and try to join in, or maybe I just feel like it would be rude and even asking sometimes feels like an imposition. I also kinda feel weird examining people sometimes cause it makes me feel like a creeper.

 

I wallflower in the Quicksand reading RP /all the time/. And I never join in either. Also, examining trick: left click on the person, right click name, left click view search info, then detarget them while you're examining. (I kinda sorta do this a lot to make it seem like I'm not creepin').

 

I have the same issues and I don't know how to fix them other than to just shut up and initiate. >.<

[Perth]

I spend a lot of time just sort of sitting and reading RP, though it never feels... organic (?) to just walk up and try to join in, or maybe I just feel like it would be rude and even asking sometimes feels like an imposition. I also kinda feel weird examining people sometimes cause it makes me feel like a creeper.

 

I know exactly what you mean and in fact feel it constantly when lurking roleplaying hubs. I've found that the perfect remedy is roleplaying that you're confusing the other character with someone you think you know, or asking them if they know of a missing item, person, etc. Basically, making up a reason to talk to a random stranger. That in mind, if I see you in game around popular roleplaying hubs I'll hit you up, if you wouldn't mind it!

[Kellach Woods]

I do that, then I end up barging in Coerthas in booty shorts to help someone look for a spear.

 

So, creep away. If you overhear anything interesting, or something you can work with, throw something out. If it doesn't work you get ignored and you can shrug it off. If it does, hey, RP hook!

[Kinono]

 Also, examining trick: left click on the person, right click name, left click view search info, then detarget them while you're examining. (I kinda sorta do this a lot to make it seem like I'm not creepin').

 

If you don't want to look at them at all, you can always type

 

/c "Player Name"

 

It will bring up the same information without the need to target.

[Havoc Snow]

 Also, examining trick: left click on the person, right click name, left click view search info, then detarget them while you're examining. (I kinda sorta do this a lot to make it seem like I'm not creepin').

 

If you don't want to look at them at all, you can always type

 

/c "Player Name"

 

It will bring up the same information without the need to target.

This is incredibly handy, wonder if I can make a macro to ninja examine people.

 

Edit: Yay it works! /c "" and you can target someone, hit the macro then untarget them really fast.

[Aaron]

 Also, examining trick: left click on the person, right click name, left click view search info, then detarget them while you're examining. (I kinda sorta do this a lot to make it seem like I'm not creepin').

 

If you don't want to look at them at all, you can always type

 

/c "Player Name"

 

It will bring up the same information without the need to target.

This is incredibly handy, wonder if I can make a macro to ninja examine people.

 

Edit: Yay it works! /c "" and you can target someone, hit the macro then untarget them really fast.

You sly devil you.

 

Ninja examining people with macros. I say we give this man a medal.

[ArmachiA]

Can I ask HOW you're so abrasive? I'm like super blunt and honest myself, but I generally don't have a problem with meeting new people, so I'm wondering what you mean by it? I'm really really opinionated and very outspoken and not really afraid of speaking my mind, but I don't think I'm mean and am generally approachable. What, specifically is your issue?

[Balmungo]

I'm kind of shy too. I find that if I dont throw myself into an RP situation I'll end up idly observing forever. Sometimes the risk is worth it! If you ever see me or vice versa we should RP it up

[Nebbs]

Maybe I could offer an opportunity? Role Play allows us to inhabit a persona that is not our normal self. So maybe borrow some personality from somone you know who is very good at the interactions and just able to chat and talk to others.

 

It does take a leap, so maybe start this as an alt just to try. I did this myself and ended up with one of my more enjoyable characters ever.

 

Just an idea.

[Jana]

A positive attitude is the most important thing in attracting others. An abrasive and stubborn demeanor will do you no good.

That I'm afraid I can't really help, it's just how I am. I lack a filter between my brain and my mouth, so what I think is what I say regardless of social taboos or etiquette. Trust me, if I could change it I would.

 

There's plenty of filters between your mind and the game screen: Having to type something out and hit "Enter." I'm a very blunt person, so disciplining myself by having to read everything as I type it is usually enough for me to second-guess some of my habitually toxic (even if unintentionally so) kinds of messages.

[Havoc Snow]

Can I ask HOW you're so abrasive? I'm like super blunt and honest myself, but I generally don't have a problem with meeting new people, so I'm wondering what you mean by it? I'm really really opinionated and very outspoken and not really afraid of speaking my mind, but I don't think I'm mean and am generally approachable. What, specifically is your issue?

I'm not necessarily mean or anything, or at least not intentionally. I just sort of lack empathy I suppose when it comes to saying things that could potentially hurt peoples feelings. In most cases a person will think something and before saying it their brain tells them that is probably a bad thing to say, and online people will type something and likewise think it's a bad thing to say. For me that thought seldom crosses my mind.

 

I've found in life that everyone likes to play mind games even in small ways, like "does this dress make me look fat?" is a great example of this sort of thing, it's an obvious fish for a compliment, but in my mind the thought that you didn't want an honest answer never crosses my mind and if the answer was yes, that's the answer you get. In short I don't spare peoples feelings.

 

Likewise I'm also rather opinionated on a lot of things, and unless a person who opposes my opinion is capable of proving my opinion wrong I won't change my mind on it. That seems like it should be common sense, but you'd be surprised how often I get called stubborn or pig-headed for refusing to budge on a subject without proper evidence I should.

 

I make a good first impression in most cases, I have a good sense of humor, I'm easy to talk to, and those who do consider me a friend often rely on me at times when they need someone to talk to, but the problem is I am brutally honest with people and over time I've found a lot of people can't take it. It makes me come across as an asshole I guess, and so it creates anxieties with trying to meet new people.

 

It also doesn't help I think that my character is a bit salty and hard to approach, usually drunk or drinking, and when he's not he probably working on some new idea of his to pass the time. He's a be crude and brash, even a tad lecherous, the mostly just a lone wolf war vet from the Calamity.

[LiveVoltage]

Just an idea, but self-involvement in the affair's of the community is the fastest way to branch yourself out.

 

I have an anti-social disorder, but usually, if you come if with an RP gameplan and stick too it as well as lot's of OOC communication and generally being a nice guy/girl/person, you will find youreself knee deep in community 'shenanigans', lol.

 

Aside from that, dont branch out too far. You wont be able to keep up with everything if you flood youreself in RP, unless thats what you want, then go ahead, but it will take time away from endgame and other things in the game,

[Aduu Avagnar]

One thing I learned abput playing a lone wolf/vet character (from larping as one) is that unless you give people an in, even if its a small one, people tend not to approach them. They have no real reason to. And you get to sit around being broody and lone wolfy.

 

Take Nako for instance. He started out as a lone wolf, but I gave him two avenues to open up rp. 1- he is an serving member of the flames, so can easily integrate with that area. 2 - he teaches magic, so again, can discuss stuff with other mages  or students.

[Havoc Snow]

One thing I learned abput playing a lone wolf/vet character (from larping as one) is that unless you give people an in, even if its a small one, people tend not to approach them. They have no real reason to. And you get to sit around being broody and lone wolfy.

 

Take Nako for instance. He started out as a lone wolf, but I gave him two avenues to open up rp. 1- he is an serving member of the flames, so can easily integrate with that area. 2 - he teaches magic, so again, can discuss stuff with other mages  or students.

Hmm, well Ashren runs a shop called Iron Coeurl Smithing out of Limsa selling salvage and refurbishing or repurposing "claimed" Magiteck from Garlemald. So I guess that's an avenue in a way.

[Aya]

Just.. walk up and talk!  Sometimes they ignore you.  Sometimes they're so mean that you just cock an eyebrow and wonder, "HOW COULD ANYONE BE SO MEAN WHEN I JUST WANT TO TALK".

 

Sometimes they're even rude in OOC tells!  Oh, it happens! (though rarely).

 

But sometimes they turn into friends you keep :-]

[111]

I find it helps to have a very strange quirk at the start, that gives you a reason to approach strangers. My first character, Natalie, was a member of the Sultansworn, so I'd always approach strangers, ask them if they were new to the city, tell them not to cause any trouble, etc etc.

 

Evangeline is a angry political agitator (though she's calming down these days), so I would approach every random stranger and hand them political pamphlets, and lecture them on issues. Most characters reacted negatively, but it was a connection, and that's really all you need.

 

Think of some reason that your character might need to approach strangers, even if it's not normal for them to do so. It really helps build the initial connections. Here are some ideas:

 

Your character lost something important, and is trying to find it

Your character needs a loan, or needs to buy some sort of rare item

Your character is lost, and needs directions

Your character does not understand the local customs, and has to ask others to explain

Your character needs to learn a certain skill, and is looking for a trainer

Your character has controversial views on a certain subject, and wants to share them

Your character is biased against a certain group/race of people

Your character is looking for work

Your character is looking for employees

Your character is looking for a place to stay

Your character is trying to sell something

Your character is looking for someone

 

Those are just some I thought up in a few minutes, but you get the idea. I find when you have a new character, it's a losing bet to hope people find you. However if you have something, even something temporary, it can help you make a large number of connections very quickly.

[Nebbs]

ohh meeting ideas.. ooh

 

There is a nasty bug on their neck.. do you point it out or just slap it away?

 

You dropped a coin and it rolled between their legs, do you leave it, ask or just start crawling?

 

You pet snake escaped and is loose in your robes, you dance into people.

 

He looks just like Uncle Erkilax... you owe him a big hug.

 

You ordered some cake but they got it wring now you have far too much and decide to share