Zhavi

Man, I think people forget that Balmung has its share of genuine human garbage, too. It's like families. Every family has one of those people. Same with communities. No matter where you go, you won't be able to escape them. Acting like Mateus is the only place where there's pushback is kinda ignoring the basic tenets of people being people. I mean like, what, a week or two before Balmung shut down wasn't there more tumblr vs RPC drama? (lol who am I kidding, that was every week) It's there, it happens. As other people said, the best way to fight it is just to ignore it and find people to be happy with. Because this is a hobby. It's not worth negative emotions.

I don't really get this attitude. When I started rping, Gilgamesh and Balmung were each fairly represented on these forums. I chose Balmung by happenstance; at the time, I didn't consider it to be notably better. I also didn't know anyone. I didn't have the benefit of knowing old guard, or whatever. I had no one. So I did whatever I do whenever I join a new community: I started to talk to people. I browsed wikis, I chatted up other new people, I invited people to join me in forum threads should they not be on my server. And slowly, I built my connections. Here's the thing: the reason why new servers could never become as big as balmung (or, at the time, Gilgamesh) was because a solid chunk of new people would either flat out join balmung via transfer (or get lucky in the ever shrinking character creation windows, at that time), or try out a smaller community, get frustrated with it, and then transfer to balmung. But guess what! No one can get on! And there are plenty of new people looking for rp! Yes, people in the overarching rp community helping to organize information does help. But beyond that, when it comes down to it, this is a game of individuals. This is a game of persuasion. This is a game of recruitment. You want people to rp with you on a new server? Make yourself heard. Rather than preach to people on Balmung, preach to the new people. Preach to the people without a home. Preach to the ones who have not been successful at finding rp. Bring them to you. The more individuals with drive who do this, the higher a chance you'll get people settled onto a server who will put roots down and won't be willing to transfer. And if Balmung opens up -- you dig your heels in and you keep preaching. Make yourself visible, make yourself heard. It's not necessarily what anyone on Balmung does at this point -- it's how welcoming and friendly and brilliant you make yourself appear when compared to Balmung's established reputation. You know how Mateus got to be the heavyweight in the 'what new server?' discussion? Because they have people who stepped up and said 'hey, we're here! Hey, we're friendly! HEY, WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.' Over. And over. And over. They made themselves visible. They dug their heels in. They're trying to make a place where people can set down roots and hopefully spawn multiple interconnected small communities within the server. To do that, they didn't say 'Balmung, what are you doing, come on.' The main person I saw stepping up just flat out pitched his heart out, made himself available, and had some cheerfully dedicated people backing him up and making everyone feel welcome. Rather than look over your shoulder at Balmung, start beckoning people to come to you. That's how you're gonna do it.

I won't talk about lore since there are many with a finer eye to those details than I, but one thing that did stick out to me that is of some concern is your mention of antisocial tendencies coupled with easy embarrassment. It can be difficult sometimes for players of such characters to find rp unless they have a plan in place (ie setting up situations that force interaction). It can be hard for other characters to engage yours if she's always trying to leave conversations or goes unresponsive when someone tries to engage in conversation. However, I also noted that she's worked in a tavern before -- has that helped her to build a sort of professional/worker's personality where even if she's withering inside she's still able to put on a bright facade and engage in social niceties?

Also, a second thought: like, unless it's super formal conversation related to work, I don't ever give people my last name in greetings (and I've yet to see any social conventions in game that dictates that characters universally give their full name as an expectation, either). Hell, most of the time it's my nickname, which people don't even know what it stands for half the time, or guess wrong. Several of my characters give nicknames or aliases, and it was never a big deal icly. So, I mean, that could also be used as a means of deflection, too.

Rule one of rp: there will always be haters. It doesn't matter whether you stick like glue to the conventions or lore or whatever -- someone will always find something to make fun of or dislike in your rp, your writing, your whatever. Learn early how to use it for your benefit or ignore it. THAT SAID. The conventions only apply if your character is from a totally traditional group. I had Zhi be raised by her ma in Limsa as a bastard with her surname being her job. Her ma was estranged from her parents, so Zhi never took on the family name, and is three generations removed from tribal keepers. I mean, have you ever gone up to someone who looks like a certain ethnicity and asked why their name doesn't match what you think it should? Parents name their kids wild things all the time, not to mention some kids hate their names and change it. Your character doesn't need to be raised by hyurs to wind up with a hyur name. Plus, it opens up all sorts of rp possibilities (I haven't personally seen a character so ashamed of his/her heritage that he or she changed it to match a "better" race, but oh lawdy that would be a fun one).

So, I've been a fan of https://mynoise.net/ for a long time. It's a sound generator billed as white noise. The guy who made it is an engineer with a passion for sounds who goes around the world recording ... well, a whole bunch of shit, from Tibetan monks chanting, to laundromats, to forests, to a cat purring, to rain on a tent. And everything in between, with new ones coming out pretty darn regularly. I've used it before as background noise for rp (the cafe, or forest), and if you donate you get access to magic generators which pull sounds randomly from other generators based on a theme (the nature one has all the nature sounds, the rain one has all the rain sounds, etc). What makes this one special to me is that when you randomize the generator you're on it really truly makes it sound dynamic -- which can be used as a point of inspiration for writing. Also because sometimes I forget to include sounds in writing, so it's a nice reminder. Anyways, I had it on this morning and was scrolling through the comments of some of the generators, and noticed a lot of people commenting on how it helped them with stress or anxiety. I know we've had a lot of people roll through the RPC over the years who've said that approaching people for rp is hard or makes them anxious. So, I thought, hey, maybe someone might stumble over this and find a generator that helps, somehow, some way (while hopefully providing some scene inspiration!). Anyways, anyone else have sounds they throw on to make the rp immersive (I know music is popular, and I do also do the playlist-for-character thing)?

You know what's a good way to create a hub? By consistently and reliably being somewhere. By making sure people know you're there. By getting a group and just grinding that shit out every. Single. Day. You know how the Quicksand got so busy? Because people were there. Aya waitressed. Warren and Crofte (edit - crofte, right? aghaghagh why am I so bad at names) stood at their pillars. For awhile the brass blade peeps were rping their thang, and they'd swing through. People were actively rping in Ul'dah, and they consistently stopped into the Quicksand. Their contacts would come in to rp with them. Word spread, and people came to expect that there would be rp in the Quicksand, and so it became a self-fulfilling prophesy. You want a hub elsewhere? Do the same thing. Even when it feels dry and stale, even if you don't feel like it, you gotta have people there on the reg. It also helps if it's a place where lower level characters can get to without having to travel a huge distance, but hey, depends on what you wanna build and where. But if you want my unsolicited advice, don't come to the community asking someone, anyone to make it a reality. Build it. Nothing is stopping you, man. Sky is the limit. Just be prepared for the long haul.

I'd argue that most hobbies include people who are either actively trying to hook up or wouldn't be opposed to trying should the opportunity arise. RP just adds the extra layer of make believe where you don't have to worry about physical attraction or stds. It's magic! ....but as others have said, when I first started over a decade ago, in muds and irc, people were tryna smash. And other people were trying to shame them into stopping. And still others were just on the sidelines shaking their head and bemoaning the state of the world. Robe and wizard hat, anyone?

From what I've read in this thread, not yet, but it looks like Foxfirestorm and EliBallard were going to talk about it. I'd post in their linkshell thread, and maybe send a pm to Foxfirestorm, as it looks like he's coordinating/spearheading the efforts for Mateus.

For, you, for anyone else feeling a little defeated or picked on or whatever. If you like Balmung and don't want to move, if you don't have time to level an alt, if you don't have the money to transfer: it's okay. Being proactive, being supportive, being present and invested and giving a damn is just as important. We have a saying at my work (I work for a non profit): those who can't give, go. Those who can't go, give. Giving here can mean just flat out telling people selling points for other servers. It can be encouraging a discouraged person struggling on a smaller server. It can be offering resources, it can be helping with ideas, it can be patting someone on the back for doing a good job in a hard situation. It can be making light of a bad situation to help people smile. It can just be digging in and saying hey, no matter how shitty it might get, we'll figure something out. But wherever you are, whatever you're doing -- this is your hobby, and you're passionate about it, and you're part of making the overarching community awesome. So keep doing that, and don't feel bad if you can't be everything to everyone. No one can. And thanks to everyone coming in and speaking up and answering questions and all of that. Communication is always the first step in solving big problems such as finding a server to serve as a place for new people to go.

Really, it comes down to one thing: having options is good. A lot of people like the biggest baddest community on offer. Some people like smaller and tight knit. The benefit is that both groups seek out the option on hand, and those options should stay relatively the same (bigger server being bigger, smaller server being smaller). The biggest problem has always been getting a stable rp population on a second server, because wanting a smaller and tight knit community is not the same thing as being willing to start out on an untested community that hasn't weathered years and continues to thrive. Getting there without giving up is hard, particularly because people see how rough it is when they get there and go right back to the easier option. So hey, if we're gonna have a lockout, let some new folks (edit - and those who like the idea of moving/having alts) be forced onto another server and set down roots.

This is the beginning of the snark, the competition, the us vs them. It does no one any good. Believe me or not, once this type of thinking, or these feelings, really get rolling, they don't stop. They continue, and they fester, and it turns into a nasty case of community vs community rather than a whole that looks to the benefits of everyone. Many people have felt that people having to pay $18 to get into Balmung was not good. I have friends that I paid for to get on, because the financial burden was not one they were willing to shoulder. Having options lends itself to longevity. No one asked for this. But now that it is happening, best to make of it what we can. There are people with full 8 slots on Balmung who are willing to transfer a few off, if not make alts. Beginning to mock those who do not wish to doesn't change a single thing, and only serves to make the server you're backing not seem quite as friendly. Take a breath, man. We care. Trust me on that.

Yeah, I definitely hope it will be a short lock. More than a couple months will be annoying. More than a couple months is, imo, the only way for a secondary rp server to gain enough entrenched membership to really become something on its own. I mean, part of what reduced Gilgamesh was Reddit and griefing, right? FCs became insular, and all of that. Not even counting the nasty Balmung vs Gilgamesh sentiments that lead to most of them leaving these boards in favor of their own. My biggest concern with another rp server is whether or not people will be uh...willing to share the rp community bounty once Balmung reopens. Cuz I do enjoy options, but the snark and snideness that grew out of misplaced competitiveness over which server was 'better' did no good for anyone.

How uh...endemic is this attitude in Mateus? "What is with you Balmung RPers and being so entitled? There's a pretty healthy RP communnity on Mateus and no one reacts like this. (But please, don't come to Mateus we don't want you here) " http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/324942-Transfer-Restrictions-and-Roleplayers?p=4144695&viewfull=1#post4144695 Cuz ... as someone who's been in very small rp communities before, once that kind of us vs them attitude starts to grow, it can be extremely difficult for new ideas to take root, and for new kinds of rpers to get settled in if what they want to write goes against the status quo. Coming into a tight knit rp community can be hard enough without actual resistance growing there before people actually move in.

There are threads here, there, and everywhere related to each of the communities, it's just not consolidated. You gotta dig for it, which can be frustrating when you're new, I know. Hell, even I don't want to dig for it right now, and I have a fuzzy idea where all the threads are (it's been awhile since I've looked). edit - the easiest, start here: http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=15&filtertf_srvr=Other

There should be a pitch thread for the various other server communities. Is it wrong I kinda wanna see a battle royale between them? *cue mortal kombat music*

One way to avoid having to do that each time is to oocly scope out sociable characters. Focus on a few. Five, max. Once you've arranged for rp with those, there is a high chance that opportunities will arise for your character to interact with their acquaintances. Too, as others have said, focus on action -- not dialogue. I've started various rps with spilled drinks, spilled food, spilled ink, dead bodies, victim (or perpetrator) of pickpockets, delivery mishaps with orders, etc. Have a run in with some thugs in an alley. Fail at saving an npc from committing suicide. Find a mysterious package. Stumble over some kids bullying another kid. Thrust your character in the path of moral quandaries. Interact with the vast and vastly populated world around you, and drag others into its various little stories with you. They can all be simple one-offs -- the point is giving yourself and others something to work with that overcomes your character's social issues.

Please don't hesitate to send me a message if you have any questions! While I might not respond right away, I will respond, and I don't bite.

Downstairs, the Moogle Cafe was lively. Customers chatted, drank, and ate. A dancer earned cheers from her place on the stage. Staff joked and flirted, served and entertained. Downstairs, everything was cozy. Bright. Friendly. Warm. Inviting. In the back, occasional strains of music and merrymaking could be heard. In the back, in one of the rooms kept behind locked doors, a woman lay dying on the floor: held there by a man while two women stood and watched. It was business, nothing more. She'd broken the rules, and by their rules, she must be punished. She must die. No one who broke the sanctity of secrecy in the Menagerie would go unpunished. A patron entered, and saw the scene. He waited as the three looked up, looked him over, and he tried to discern who it was being broken. "Oh," he said. "I liked her." "Buying?" One of the women asked. "The usual," he said, shifting. He needed his fix. The man jerked his head back, to the small counter. The patron edged past the arm that lay outstretched, flung towards the door. Its fingers were mangled. Just another day in the seedy underbelly, behind money-laundering fronts, secrets, and bold-faced lies. Welcome to the Menagerie. ________________ 18+. Slice-of-life light entertainment in the front. Criminal activity and debauchery in the back. Which you're involved in is up to you. [align=center]Characters Needed[/align] Complicated, well-written characters always welcome. Staff for the front/back (servers/waiters, dancers, musicians) Connections for dirty business. Make your case. Impress us. You do not need to join to participate. Looking to recruit 3-4 more people. [align=center]Contacts[/align] Tani Brightborn/Zhavi Streetrunner Minalla Dieu-le-veut (currently unavailable - traveling) Zeiwix Duimione

What kind of people? *squints at*

Yeah. To me, it means you're relying on my character to be staring at yours at the exact right moment. It relies on my character being aware of their surroundings, or at least aware of your character...which they aren't, always. I prefer to have my character engaged in living. I emote over about 3-5 minute intervals, with my character doing something or involved with the setting if my character isn't interested in starting up a conversation with a stranger. The repeated emotes gives other players a chance to notice what my character is doing or, if they're right nearby, I'll have my character accidentally invade their personal space or whatnot, and react to that (either as an apology or get out of my way or whatever) -- but something to interact with and respond to. Strangers look at each other all the time in real life because it's part of noticing your surroundings. But rarely does that glance or stare mean 'please come up and talk to me.' More often than not it's just...people watching. And my character isn't going to take a brief glance as an invitation to strike up conversation, unless I happen to play a creep or a socially clueless loudmouth (like zhi).

I'm mostly with Virella on this. I had a character who was based around a very specific set of circumstances, including a very strong aversion to touch or being touched. The worst happened, and it broke her. I tried to change her up, adapt her around it, come up with outside circumstances, everything. But she was broken. I could no longer tell fulfilling stories on her, or have meaningful interactions with her. So...that was that. But, before you put her down for good, I do think it's worth pursuing those avenues. You know her best. Would she be down and out for good? Would she drag herself somewhere to be alone or live a quiet life for the rest of her days? Did what happen break her? If it didn't, then you gotta figure out what she would do. If she would say 'fuck it' and start over somewhere new, then it's your job as her player to find a new place for her to go. Look at LSes, making connections, FCs, events, whatever. Sometimes traumatic things destroy characters for good. Sometimes it's the end of their story. But sometimes it's a chance to have that turning point that sometimes happens in real life, where you hit rock bottom and choose to get up and fucking show the world you're not out quite yet. That can lead to new and fulfilling character development. But just like in real life, it's not necessarily going to be easy for the first little while. You may need to put her down for a little bit, because saying goodbye to writing buddies is hard. New beginnings can suck. Don't push yourself too hard. Think about it. Try a few different angles. Try a new character for a little while if you need to. She'll still be there if you put her down for the moment and come back later.

Another way that is a different method, but that I've seen happen irl, is humor. Telling jokes, telling stories. The guy I knew (and some of the friends in our group) who developed a racist bent against the natives up here didn't even realize it was happening. At first it was just funny stories, but then it started taking a decidedly negative and nasty turn. Instead of being funny stories about drunk people who happened to be natives, it turned into funny stories about those stupid worthless drunken natives who can't do anything right. After the jokes, it would be commiseration about the fact that there are any natives in the city at all, because, you know, all of them are worthless. In reality, I think it happened because none of them knew this group of people as people. It was all observed or stuff they had to deal with. Naturally, it progressed towards making assumptions based off a limited amount of data. Who knows, I might have gotten up in it if my work didn't have me sub in to one of the local conferences, and I heard some pretty raw stories about how the cycle of abuse steals any chances from people while they're kids. But that's just the thing, it's so easy to make assumptions about people and their funny antics, to being disgusted with them for those funny antics, to feeling like you're better than them, to believing stereotypes. Because if they're all from the same or similar places, have accents that sound funny, look the same, and tend to act the same -- that's what you see, that's what you get. And that's some of the worst kind of racism, to me, and something really interesting and rewarding to write. The insidious kind. The kind that you don't even realize is changing your way of thinking because oh yeah, man, I know exactly what you mean. That's a great story. Man, what a bunch of fuck-ups. Too bad they don't just go back where they came from, since they can't learn to be like us. edit - great examples of everyday racism couched in humor that can be used towards character behavior to imply a greater inner bias.

For me either, refreshed and everything.