How to properly react to RP you don't like (or 'Punting the Puppy')

[cherrybomb]

I kind of envy people who go out of their way to make themselves special 'snowflake' compared to community norms. They are generally much happier. I can't bring myself to attempt to police it for them, just seems wrong.

 

I agree with this post in its entirety, but especially this sentiment here. Those folks are havin' fun, and I just don't have it in me to judge someone over how they spend their time roleplaying in Catgirls Online. We're all in this deeply, deeply nerdy hobby together, so I figure I might as well make the best of it. I personally just find it more rewarding to practice the "yes, and" principle instead of trying to shut someone down OOC or pull out a condescending IC dismissal. It probably helps to have a character that's willing to just bemusedly go with the flow.

 

But on the other end of the scale (and this is slightly off-topic from the main subject of the thread but I saw someone mention it and it's worth repeating so) if someone is making you genuinely uncomfortable? Then you really don't need an excuse, or a graceful opt-out. Trust your gut instinct and don't force yourself to continue to interact with a possible creeper out of some misguided need to be polite. A lot of people use OH BUT ITS JUST MY CHARACTER as a rationalization for absolutely vile behavior and pulling shit on shy, permissive people who don't have the self-confidence to just say 'no.' Err on the side of caution and stay safe. I haven't encountered this in-game yet, but I'm 100% willing to believe this is just as rampant in MMO RP communities as it is in collab writing ones.

[Dat Oni]

For example, over a year ago, me and some friends went out to see the Grindstone, wearing Flame overcoat gear. Some dude comes along and in-characted declares we're 'pretenders' for wearing the overcoats outside city walls. Like, not real Flames, or some shit. I called him out for that BS in /tells, but he proceeded to dismiss me and shut me down by insisting it was all in-character and I was making it out-of-character...utter bullshit, of course. By its passive-aggressive wording IC, it was clearly designed as a meta-assault on me and my friends' RP.

 

I had the same experience as Koporo roleplaying a Sultansworn and I swear to god the way this attack went down you and I encountered the same fucking person.

[Gegenji]

I like to think I try to roll with most of the punches that get thrown my way. I try to have my character react to the situation as he would in such a case - maybe even being dorky enough to believe them for a bit to see where it goes before deciding whether to duck out. So I've dealt with a bunch of... interesting concepts in little one-shots and the like.

 

My big issue comes when they try to involve some of my other friends, who might not be so open to such things. How does everyone else handle that sort of thing? You're dealing with an... odd situation that you're relatively okay with, and then they want to bring a friend of yours?

 

A situation like that happened yesterday, in fact. It was honestly an interesting situation, and an interesting approach to dealing with it, but it was also... kinda sketchy in its presentation, I guess? Anyway, they wanted Chachan to bring in other characters that he knew that could help them out.

 

But I wasn't sure if they'd be so open to the idea being pitched, so I followed the first rule of RP and opened communication. I talked with those who could potentially be pulled in, gave them a rundown of my understanding of the situation, and mentioned what the character wanted. The responses were generally negative, so I found myself trying to deflect the situation or "pass the buck" elsewhere. And I felt kinda bad about it because Chachan, as a character, totally would've wanted to help if he could.

 

Fortunately, the situation itself kind of provided an "out." It involved the void to some degree, and the FC had just wrapped up a big arc involving a troublesome voidsent. And the character Chachan would've most likely directed the situation to had played a hefty role in said arc... and was still recovering somewhat. So, as a good friend, he wouldn't want to shove them right back into those sorts of dealings, right?

 

... Still felt awkward, though...

[Kage]

For example, over a year ago, me and some friends went out to see the Grindstone, wearing Flame overcoat gear. Some dude comes along and in-characted declares we're 'pretenders' for wearing the overcoats outside city walls. Like, not real Flames, or some shit. I called him out for that BS in /tells, but he proceeded to dismiss me and shut me down by insisting it was all in-character and I was making it out-of-character...utter bullshit, of course. By its passive-aggressive wording IC, it was clearly designed as a meta-assault on me and my friends' RP.

 

I had the same experience as Koporo roleplaying a Sultansworn and I swear to god the way this attack went down you and I encountered the same fucking person.

I actually don't see those people who used to give Sultansworn RPers a lot of shit before. Right before 2.5 yeah but not recently.

 

Their reactions were to insist everything was IC, standing on peoples characters' etc. Then also /emote about taking a gun out and shooting between the three trolls. I refuse to, and still do, refuse to believe they were genuinely wanting to RP.

 

Especially when some shit they would do is /sh I can't wait for when all the Sultansworn Rpers are out of jobs tomorrow (2.5 drop).

[cuideag]

There was one time I was RPing in the Quicksand and a known troll strolled up and decided that they wanted to try and auction off this "weird black baby" that they found. I rolled with it. Maybe they had fun, I dunno. It was stupid and absurd and poor Jajara became even more angry and embittered with these weird, ignorant tall people that loiter around Ul'dah! Those no-good foreigners making gil off the backs of honest workers! And so on.

 

It was fun. Have fun.

[ZoktaiKhor]

Usually  I try to keep to lore as accurately as possible but i also allow freedom of evolution so to speak?

 

My usaul argument for lore breakers depend on what they do.

 

If its: I don't like this part of lore cause its stupid or wont fit my character. - then I'm sorry but youll either need to make your character fit or try to find another bit of lore that can.

 

If its: I based "this part" on the lore but also thought if I did this it fit/ -oh ! tha'ts a great idea!! also what if this this this could happen based on that fact? * goes and invites other's to discuss*

 

We're all human so if we try alittle bit we can probably get alogn and work out differences and what not.

 

Summary on Roleplaying with lore

In our real world we are filled with infinite possibilities. If a Blind man can climb Mt. Everest. A small village turn into a metropolis. Etc. Etc.

 

If a character challenges or messes with the lore abit who are we to straight up say "That's not right." Its their character for a reason. Now if they god mod or become nigh indestructible correct them tell them why they're too 'op' or bending the rules only in their favor.

 

Myself as an example. When experience a new universe in a game. I always put my self in it first. It's egotistical but i want to imagine what kind of life I lived if i was in this world. Would i have the same hobbies. Would I have the same interest? Would I pursue a easy life or go through strife i have known before.If someone tells me No you can't do that that's impossible? How would my race, skin color, ideals, height, weight ,and even mroe factors play with the lore standpoints and work i need. I'd ask why ot better understand what i may be doing wrong and better my self.? we as humans(and other*) Are sentient and can learn can change and evolve. Whoever harassed you had no right too. All I can say is try to settle it with a open mind and they still refute or harrass you. Have a monk German Suplex them.

 

...and sorry for the long post.

[111]

For example, over a year ago, me and some friends went out to see the Grindstone, wearing Flame overcoat gear. Some dude comes along and in-characted declares we're 'pretenders' for wearing the overcoats outside city walls. Like, not real Flames, or some shit. I called him out for that BS in /tells, but he proceeded to dismiss me and shut me down by insisting it was all in-character and I was making it out-of-character...utter bullshit, of course. By its passive-aggressive wording IC, it was clearly designed as a meta-assault on me and my friends' RP.

 

I had the same experience as Koporo roleplaying a Sultansworn and I swear to god the way this attack went down you and I encountered the same fucking person.

 

Generally with R'elend, I'll send a tell OOC to see if they're going to play along.

 

When I play with him in the Quicksand breaking up fights and such, I'll tell them something like, "I intend to have R'elend detain and remove you from this situation, you will have options for what happens after."

 

If people are like 'fuk u' then I just won't do it.

 

To me starting a fight in the quicksand (Or anywhere in Ul'dah) and having the blades show up, is kind of a privilege. I'm adding immersion to your RP!

[Darien Cadell]

My big issue comes when they try to involve some of my other friends, who might not be so open to such things. How does everyone else handle that sort of thing? You're dealing with an... odd situation that you're relatively okay with, and then they want to bring a friend of yours?

 

I had some issues like that in WoW, since I'm also a roll-with-it kind of person. I'd end up being friends with a smattering of individuals outside the "group" so to say because I'd indulge their powerplays, and because I was happy to have my character "lose" to make them happy and keep their story going. Meanwhile, those "inside" the group would constantly ask me why I even spoke to this person, or warn me that I should stay away from them as much as possible.

 

It was all sorts of unpleasant and awkward for me trying to play diplomat. I ended up just keeping the friendships separate to try and keep both groups as such happy. I'd do little one-on-one scenes with the powerplayers, maybe even forum stories, but if they asked if anyone else I knew might like to join in, I'd make excuses rather than go where I knew they weren't wanted and avoid conflict.

 

Don't have that problem in FFXIV, but I keep to myself much much more than I did back then.

[Gegenji]

It was all sorts of unpleasant and awkward for me trying to play diplomat. I ended up just keeping the friendships separate to try and keep both groups as such happy. I'd do little one-on-one scenes with the powerplayers, maybe even forum stories, but if they asked if anyone else I knew might like to join in, I'd make excuses rather than go where I knew they weren't wanted and avoid conflict.

 

So basically more or less what I did... good to know. I definitely feel like I'm playing diplomat at times, hearing one side complain about the other. And yet, here I am playing with both and I like to think that I'm enjoying myself with all of them?

[Desu Nee]

It was all sorts of unpleasant and awkward for me trying to play diplomat. I ended up just keeping the friendships separate to try and keep both groups as such happy. I'd do little one-on-one scenes with the powerplayers, maybe even forum stories, but if they asked if anyone else I knew might like to join in, I'd make excuses rather than go where I knew they weren't wanted and avoid conflict.

 

So basically more or less what I did... good to know. I definitely feel like I'm playing diplomat at times, hearing one side complain about the other. And yet, here I am playing with both and I like to think that I'm enjoying myself with all of them?

A fact of life is that sometimes, only because two people are friends with you, doesn't necessarily mean they will be friends with each other. Honestly, in this case, I'm the one who's winning, since I'm having the most fun, and that's what counts, really.

[Nero]

I'm a very firm believer in the idea that anyone who goes on the Internet has an obligation to become their own filter. Ignore the bits you don't like, pick out the parts that you do. If you see something you don't like, pay it no mind and move on, which is exactly what I do. Powerplayers, absurd lore breakers, people ICly calling my character out for bullshit reasons, whatever you can think of. They are perfectly free to play whatever character they want however they'd like, in the same way that I am perfectly free to retcon them out of existence for my own convenience and sanity.

 

You could make the reasonable argument that this is exceptionally close-minded of me, and that by doing this I am removing the arguably most intriguing part of online role play--that is, new situations emerging and new characters spontaneously making themselves known, forcing me to adapt and improvise. You wouldn't be wrong. That said, I'm a working adult. I consider my time to be quite valuable. I have better things to do than wasting seconds of my life acknowledging or dismissing the latest half-primal son of Bahamut or Alphinaud's ex-boyfriend or the secret black ops assassin of the Scions whose name is only written in the margins of discarded middle school lab notebooks or outdated issues of The Punisher.

 

At one point I used to be more than willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and to roll with the punches--however, years and years on the Internet has taught me that there is absolutely no quality control, and that if you give an inch of exception, people will gleefully take a mile. So at the most, I'll humour them with one or two superficial sentences of affirmation or vaguely apathetic brushing-off and then continue on my merry way.

[TheLastCandle]

I tend to quietly ignore it and don't go out of my way to roleplay with the person. I don't generally blacklist anyone based upon their roleplay. To me, when you blacklist someone, you're saying, "This is a person who has absolutely nothing of value to say in any aspect of the game that I participate in." And I find that rather harsh, frankly. I may not choose to include your half-dragon half-Esper who traveled from the world of FFVI after being hit with an X-Zone spell in my character's roleplay, but I might run dungeons or PvP with you.

 

My blacklist is reserved for RMT's and people who are blatant jerkwards OOC.

[Michikyou]

I excuse myself swiftly from the conversation and inwardly swear at the lore breaking commencing. Surprisingly, i've only met a few people all from the same guild who are all especially good at running with the lore in the opposite, non appropriate way.

 

I tend to be rather picky at the end of it. @_@;

 

PleasenodomanelezenninjasfromahyurfamilyEveninthelondonfanfestthedevssaidDomawasHyurandYugirirace.

[Zhavi]

I'm a very firm believer in the idea that anyone who goes on the Internet has an obligation to become their own filter. Ignore the bits you don't like, pick out the parts that you do. If you see something you don't like, pay it no mind and move on, which is exactly what I do. Powerplayers, absurd lore breakers, people ICly calling my character out for bullshit reasons, whatever you can think of. They are perfectly free to play whatever character they want however they'd like, in the same way that I am perfectly free to retcon them out of existence for my own convenience and sanity.

 

You could make the reasonable argument that this is exceptionally close-minded of me, and that by doing this I am removing the arguably most intriguing part of online role play--that is, new situations emerging and new characters spontaneously making themselves known, forcing me to adapt and improvise. You wouldn't be wrong. That said, I'm a working adult. I consider my time to be quite valuable. I have better things to do than wasting seconds of my life acknowledging or dismissing the latest half-primal son of Bahamut or Alphinaud's ex-boyfriend or the secret black ops assassin of the Scions whose name is only written in the margins of discarded middle school lab notebooks or outdated issues of The Punisher.

 

At one point I used to be more than willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and to roll with the punches--however, years and years on the Internet has taught me that there is absolutely no quality control, and that if you give an inch of exception, people will gleefully take a mile. So at the most, I'll humour them with one or two superficial sentences of affirmation or vaguely apathetic brushing-off and then continue on my merry way.

 

This is pretty much how I operate. Ain't nobody got time for that shit!

[KitKat]

I skipped to the end of this thread when I read that people still have a problem with someone bending a little bit of the lore to play one of the ten jobs SE provided us with. Who gives a damn if someone wants to play a White Mage? Why should their RP be less valid than the person who plays a monk or a paladin? Maybe I don't want to play those classes.

[Seriphyn]

I skipped to the end of this thread when I read that people still have a problem with someone bending a little bit of the lore to play one of the ten jobs SE provided us with. Who gives a damn if someone wants to play a White Mage? Why should their RP be less valid than the person who plays a monk or a paladin? Maybe I don't want to play those classes.

 

Because my particular interpretation of the lore doesn't make room for the idea that PCs can be white mages (though I haven't actually encountered white mages in-character yet, nor would Kale really know what they are).

 

I'm not going to start shit over it, so likewise, I shouldn't expect to have a different interpretation of the lore forced on me where PCs -are- allowed to be white mages.

[ArmachiA]

I skipped to the end of this thread when I read that people still have a problem with someone bending a little bit of the lore to play one of the ten jobs SE provided us with. Who gives a damn if someone wants to play a White Mage? Why should their RP be less valid than the person who plays a monk or a paladin? Maybe I don't want to play those classes.

 

Because my particular interpretation of the lore doesn't make room for the idea that PCs can be white mages (though I haven't actually encountered white mages in-character yet, nor would Kale really know what they are).

 

I'm not going to start shit over it, so likewise, I shouldn't expect to have a different interpretation of the lore forced on me where PCs -are- allowed to be white mages.

 

Bingo.

[KitKat]

And once again, this "community" proves that it's not actually a community at all. Real proud of you.

 

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: User was warned for this post (section 1, minor, intentionally provocative in a negative manner). Again, refute a point if you like, but content-free snipes are not permitted.

[Dravus]

And once again, this "community" proves that it's not actually a community at all. Real proud of you.

 

You've already admitted to not reading through the entirety of the thread and now you're just making vague passive aggressive statements that aren't really adding a whole lot to what has been a very civil and interesting debate.

 

I have to admit I'm not too sure what you want people to say. Everybody is entitled to role-play whatever they like - nobody is denying that right. Yet if such a right exists then it's only fair for people to have no obligation to acknowledge or accept anything they find to not align with their preferred style of role-play.

 

It's not 'mean' and it's hardly going to cause the community to crumble apart at the seams. 

 

As for me? I'm happy to role-play with pretty much anybody provided their character and role-play remains plausible. That's the key point for me - and in turn I'm perfectly happy for people to shun my own character for whatever reason they see fit.

[Edda]

Who gives a damn if someone wants to play a White Mage?

No one, really.

Why should their RP be less valid than the person who plays a monk or a paladin?

It's not!

Maybe I don't want to play those classes.

And you don't have to!

 

The beauty of this "community," as you said, is that when so many people come together, obviously there are going to be disagreements and different interpretations of the lore. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure this happens in like every MMO to ever have an RP community, ever. I think it's a good thing, to have different opinions and stuff. Balmung is a huge server, so that's even better! If some people think that White Mage RP is a no-no... Fuck 'em! Who gives a damn about them? You have my guarantee there are just as many people on Balmung who are fine with the concept as there who are not. Find the ones who are, do what you enjoy and have fun!

 

Haters gonna hate, etc etc.

[ArmachiA]

And once again, this "community" proves that it's not actually a community at all. Real proud of you.

 

Please tell me how I, someone who believes 100% that PCs cannot be White Mages, and you, someone who 100% believes it doesn't matter can come together and come to an agreement beyond going to our respective corners and leaving each other to rp in peace.

 

I'm not going to force you to see my view on it - which is, in lore says only Padjal can be WHMs, are you going to force me to see yours - which is game mechanics means we should be able to play whatever we like?

[Blue]

I completely agree with this. There is always room for exceptions in the universe of Eorzea. I mean, look at Lucia. Had she been a RPer instead of an NPC, how much bashing would she have received for claiming to be Ishgardian? Or in the Temple Knights? Ew no, Ishgard would never accept a Garlean!

 

I understand that there is a general etiquette of "everyone wants to be special, so no one can be special" among the RP community, but not everyone is going to comply to that, and we have to accept it. The grief towards RPers who are not "perfectly normal" in every singular aspect of their IC background, appearance, behavior, occupation, whatchamacallit is completely unjustified and I dislike it even more when people use IC dialogues to point out at it.

 

I have been ICly yelled at for being inside the Quicksands as a commoner because the guy said "it was for adventurers only", and that even though I was there to HIRE adventurers, he told me I was supposed to assign my pledge to the Leve counter and leave. Yeah right, how am I even supposed to do that? It's not like I can actually leave a banner on the counter for people to see and get back to me.

 

"Do it on the forums."

 

And cut out the majority of RPers? Only an abysmal part of us uses these boards, or any boards.

 

But yeah, all in all, there is a thousand things I could point out ICly that I find wrong (non-virgin spouses marrying in white dress, guests at weddings wearing wedding dresses themselves, or even just couples marrying after only weeks or months of relationship, just to bring up one single topic (Eternal Bonding) ), but would I bring it up ICly with them? No. Why? Because if someone did that to me I'd find that terribly annoying and pedantic.

 

Don't treat others the way you don't want to be treated. It couldn't be any easier than that.

 

EDIT: It took me a bit to think of the right metaphor, but in the end, to be "the perfect RP character" is much like being "beach body ready".

 

 

The truth is, there is no beach body ready, and there is no perfect RP character. Whether you are fat or thin, or super lore restricted or more "lore exceptional", there is always someone who will criticize you. There is always something you are doing that someone else will not like, so let us avoid run our mouth on others, especially IC, thinking that we are better in our choices for our character than they are.

 

"Have you seen how fat she is? And she comes at the beach? She should be ashamed."

 

"Oh Gods, look at how thin she is, and she comes at the beach. She's calling for attention sooo bad."

 

The only requirement to be beach body ready is to be at the beach.

The only requirement to be a roleplayer is to roleplay.

[Seriphyn]

I mean, seriously, even if x's character was a white mage, I'd still RP with them. I'd just be selective and discretionary about what territory we RP into. Why would I deny myself fun?

[Verad]

And once again, this "community" proves that it's not actually a community at all. Real proud of you.

 

Please tell me how I, someone who believes 100% that PCs cannot be White Mages, and you, someone who 100% believes it doesn't matter can come together and come to an agreement beyond going to our respective corners and leaving each other to rp in peace.

 

I'm not going to force you to see my view on it - which is, in lore says only Padjal can be WHMs, are you going to force me to see yours - which is game mechanics means we should be able to play whatever we like?

 

You play a WHM and see what all the fuss is about. Somebody else downgrades to Conjurer to see if it's similar in style.

 

Hopefully perspective is gained. Probably one or both participants just feel dirty.

[ShoggMommy]

And once again, this "community" proves that it's not actually a community at all. Real proud of you.

 

I'm not going to force you to see my view on it - which is, in lore says only Padjal can be WHMs, are you going to force me to see yours - which is game mechanics means we should be able to play whatever we like?

 

But... Isn't that forcing your view on them regardless?

I mean you say that you aren't going to force your view onto them which is 'x lore says this'. Then you ask them if they are going to force their view onto you, which is 'we should be able to play whatever we like'?

 

If they say 'no' they aren't going to force it on you, then that disables them from allowing to play what they wish to. And thus forces your view onto them. If they say 'I'm going to play what I want' then it's forcing it onto you.

 

I mean that's sort of making them damned if they do damned if they don't sort of thing there. Maybe I'm reading it off but yeah, that's just my two cents.

 

--------

But to get onto the whole topic;

I'd have to agree with Blue above me on this issue.

Don't treat others the way you don't want to be treated. It couldn't be any easier than that.

 

Really if people don't agree with another person's view of the lore, just don't rp with them. I don't understand the need to police other peoples' rp. Nor do I understand the need to tear someone apart over it. I don't like lore breaking myself, but eh... I'm not going to let it bother me really. I've a lot of other things I can do than to be upset if someone plays X thing I don't agree with.

 

Sure there a lot of stuff I don't agree with; I like keeping lore-plausible, but I'm not going to tell someone what they can and cannot RP. I just won't involve myself really. Or my character might think them a bit nutty. If it's really outrageous, trolly for whatever reason though-? I'd very likely excuse my character out of the area.

 

At the end of the day, we're all awesome nerds playing nerd things in a nerd-centric world.